Q:What's the king's favorite record label?A:Moat-town!
― how's life, Tuesday, 29 May 2012 00:10 (11 months ago) Permalink
Q: What's the lawn's favorite record label?A: Mow-town!
― Word of Wisdom Robots (Abbbottt), Tuesday, 29 May 2012 02:59 (11 months ago) Permalink
Q: What's a librarian's favorite record label?A: STAX
― this guy's a gangsta? his real name's mittens. (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 29 May 2012 03:26 (11 months ago) Permalink
There's this hot new bestseller soft porn novel that started out as He-Man fan fiction.
It's called Fifty Shades of Greyskull
― this guy's a gangsta? his real name's mittens. (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 29 May 2012 20:50 (11 months ago) Permalink
Q. What do they shout at the existentialist gay pride march?A. "We're here, it's queer, get over it!"
― the fey monster (ledge), Wednesday, 30 May 2012 10:02 (11 months ago) Permalink
(warning, contains mild racial slur):
Q: Where do Boston Italian Yodas go to meet up?
A: The Dagobah!
― click here if you want to load them all (Hurting 2), Friday, 22 June 2012 19:42 (11 months ago) Permalink
I submitted all these jokes to Laffy Taffy under the guise of "Michael Pipia, age 9", I'll let you know who the winners are
― frogbs, Friday, 22 June 2012 19:53 (11 months ago) Permalink
"Knock Knock""Who's there?""Smell mop""Smell mop who?""hahahahah"
This is probably my favorite joke ever now.
― Emperor Cos Dashit (Adam Bruneau), Friday, 22 June 2012 19:56 (11 months ago) Permalink
Knock KnockWho's there?Asparagi.Asparagi who?Asparagi a dollar for bus fare?
― click here if you want to load them all (Hurting 2), Thursday, 5 July 2012 11:11 (10 months ago) Permalink
A man walks into a military installation. He is shot. His dog looks up and says "You stupid shit, this is a top secret installation!"
― The Cheerfull Turtle (Latham Green), Tuesday, February 7, 2012 9:25 AM (4 months ago)
aaaaaaahh CLASSIC
― the late great, Thursday, 5 July 2012 11:30 (10 months ago) Permalink
Q: Why is Joe Paterno rolling over in his grave right now?
A: Because he prefers to look the other way.
― Will Chave (Hurting 2), Monday, 16 July 2012 14:58 (10 months ago) Permalink
Q: What is a francophile's favorite legal drama?A: Paris Maison
― Will Chave (Hurting 2), Friday, 3 August 2012 18:33 (9 months ago) Permalink
What vegetable helps you get dressed in the morning?
Button-up Squash
― Quickly, take hold of my hand, asshole! (dog latin), Wednesday, 8 August 2012 09:53 (9 months ago) Permalink
Q. What did the pervert say to the bikini-clad lady when she bent over to pick up a seashell?A. "Damn ma, you find a shell!" ("Damn ma, you fine as hell!")
― starfish succulents (unregistered), Wednesday, 8 August 2012 16:39 (9 months ago) Permalink
the lady is his mom?
― Philip Nunez, Wednesday, 8 August 2012 17:10 (9 months ago) Permalink
"that's no lady," etc
― Godzilla vs. Rodan Rodannadanna (The Yellow Kid), Wednesday, 8 August 2012 17:15 (9 months ago) Permalink
What do you get if you cross the captain of the USS Enterprise (NCC-1701-D) with the supreme being?
Jean-Luc Godard
― kmfdotm (ledge), Friday, 10 August 2012 10:57 (9 months ago) Permalink
I posted this on another thread so sorry for repeat material, but I really think Daft Punk should release an Indian cookery book called "Cumin After All".
― sorry for asshole (dog latin), Friday, 10 August 2012 11:09 (9 months ago) Permalink
good enough to repeat imo, gave me a second chuckle :)
― she started dancing to that (Finefinemusic), Friday, 10 August 2012 13:52 (9 months ago) Permalink
q. What did the pervert say when asked for forgiveness?a. "Never my love"
― Sweet Organic Princess (Latham Green), Friday, 10 August 2012 14:06 (9 months ago) Permalink
A: Paris Maison. I like this one.
― andrew m., Friday, 10 August 2012 15:04 (9 months ago) Permalink
q. what did Edgar allen poe say to that fucking ravena. fuck off bird!
― Sweet Yin Yang ☯ (Latham Green), Friday, 10 August 2012 15:20 (9 months ago) Permalink
wait did this ever get resolved
My friend made me a joke as a birthday gift...he says it takes a few weeks to sink in. Here it is:
Knock knock?Who's there?Ha.Ha who?Nothin'.
― breaking that little dog's heart chakra (Abbott), Friday, 18 June 2010 15:52 (2 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
― thomp, Friday, 10 August 2012 15:40 (9 months ago) Permalink
maybe the joke is there is nothing to sink in
― Sweet Yin Yang ☯ (Latham Green), Friday, 10 August 2012 18:11 (9 months ago) Permalink
Trying to come up with a follow up to my daft punk joke. Can only think of 'One More Thyme' and 'Mace to Mace'
― sorry for asshole (dog latin), Friday, 10 August 2012 18:23 (9 months ago) Permalink
is that crazy incense you have of a daft punk?
― Sweet Yin Yang ☯ (Latham Green), Friday, 10 August 2012 19:03 (9 months ago) Permalink
Digital Clove
― a hoy hoy, Friday, 10 August 2012 19:10 (9 months ago) Permalink
their anime is more hentai than manga (take that!)
― Sweet Yin Yang ☯ (Latham Green), Friday, 10 August 2012 19:13 (9 months ago) Permalink
that knock-knock joke was the bext birthday gift – I used to get him one sock for his birthday and the other matching sock for Christmas so really he spoiled me in comparsion
― drawings by teen cultists (Crabbits), Saturday, 11 August 2012 03:14 (9 months ago) Permalink
A lot of the other orchestral musicians envy the easy portability of my violin. But they're just cellists.
― bert yansh (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 14 August 2012 18:49 (9 months ago) Permalink
― sorry for asshole (dog latin), Friday, August 10, 2012 2:23 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
Did you not see my follow up in that thread that the book included the recipe "Hotter Pepper Fatter Sambar"?
― bert yansh (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 14 August 2012 18:52 (9 months ago) Permalink
I'm developing a video game about violent, piano-playing marsupials. It's called Chordal Wombat.
― bert yansh (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 14 August 2012 20:16 (9 months ago) Permalink
People often ask me how I became the world's most successful weed dealer to migratory birds.
Well it's simple. I leave no tern unstoned.
― bert yansh (Hurting 2), Wednesday, 15 August 2012 01:38 (9 months ago) Permalink
I like it!
― drawings by teen cultists (Crabbits), Wednesday, 15 August 2012 03:35 (9 months ago) Permalink
did not realize it when I came up with it, but apparently it's a variation on an Ogden Nash line
― bert yansh (Hurting 2), Wednesday, 15 August 2012 03:52 (9 months ago) Permalink
So anyway, I couldn't think of any more Daft Punk puns, but I know Sigur Ros are going to be releasing a rival Indian cookbook called Agaetis Biryani.
― Here's that tenner I owe you, asshole (dog latin), Tuesday, 21 August 2012 20:06 (9 months ago) Permalink
q: Where does Batman keep his Nietzsche audiobooks?a: His Bat-Futility Belt.
― Emperor Cos Dashit (Adam Bruneau), Monday, 10 September 2012 15:46 (8 months ago) Permalink
Did you hear about the new best-seller detailing the salacious academic exploits of a female undergrad who is the daughter of an avid Mets fan? It's called, "50 Grades of Shea."
― something of an astrological coup (tipsy mothra), Monday, 10 September 2012 15:51 (8 months ago) Permalink
Wait I made that joke on this board somewhere
― look at this quarterstaff (Hurting 2), Friday, 21 September 2012 15:53 (8 months ago) Permalink
tbf I think your version is more elaborate
― look at this quarterstaff (Hurting 2), Friday, 21 September 2012 15:54 (8 months ago) Permalink
where does the US military send its funniest soldiers?Laughganistan!
― one dis leads to another (ian), Friday, 21 September 2012 15:55 (8 months ago) Permalink
Man, if there hasn't already been a USO stand-up comedy special called Laughganistan, I think we've failed our troops.
― look at this quarterstaff (Hurting 2), Friday, 21 September 2012 16:17 (8 months ago) Permalink
I was really struggling to find places that would repair a harp...
... thankfully Joanna knew some.
― NWOFHM! Overlord (krakow), Friday, 21 September 2012 22:23 (8 months ago) Permalink
bravo
― look at this quarterstaff (Hurting 2), Friday, 21 September 2012 22:25 (8 months ago) Permalink
last two are gold
― This Is... The Police (dog latin), Monday, 24 September 2012 23:24 (8 months ago) Permalink
Q: What musician is most at the forefront of the Avant Chard?
A: John Kale
― Knut Horowitz, Able-Bodied Investment Banker and Ladies Man (Hurting 2), Monday, 5 November 2012 17:27 (6 months ago) Permalink
new best tumblr: http://badkidsjokes.tumblr.com/
― an area the size of Jimmy Wales (DJ Mencap), Thursday, 29 November 2012 15:37 (5 months ago) Permalink
Your brain is a poop bomb and you are a zombie and you are naked with your butt on fire and your butt in a girls face and you are wearing diapers
― an area the size of Jimmy Wales (DJ Mencap), Thursday, 29 November 2012 15:38 (5 months ago) Permalink
WHO EATS LIKE A GREEDY PIG AND SUCK BOOBESRHIANA
― an area the size of Jimmy Wales (DJ Mencap), Thursday, 29 November 2012 15:39 (5 months ago) Permalink
What has 2 legs, 2 arms and is still refusing to make me a sandwich?My Wife.
That one is great!
― drunk 'n' white's elements of style (Hurting 2), Thursday, 29 November 2012 15:41 (5 months ago) Permalink