but how will i know if someone is saying nasty rumors abt me
― lag∞n, Sunday, 27 May 2012 13:16 (11 months ago) Permalink
heh
Dr. Jerry Beans @dogbonerall my people that have mild depression or severe dont worry because theres someone that loves u and hes a rotating doghouse with gold teeth
― tpp, Monday, 28 May 2012 20:04 (11 months ago) Permalink
Ste, I'm guessing they deleted the tweet?
― The Reverend, Monday, 28 May 2012 20:46 (11 months ago) Permalink
new twitter is a completely over engineered mess
They're rebuilding it to take all that shit out now.
'bout time http://engineering.twitter.com/2012/05/improving-performance-on-twittercom.html
― diamonddave85, Wednesday, 30 May 2012 02:11 (11 months ago) Permalink
hey thanks stet! I'll try that today.
― wolf kabob (ENBB), Wednesday, 30 May 2012 11:49 (11 months ago) Permalink
Roffle
http://www.buzzfeed.com/provincialelitist/model-live-tweets-married-actor-trying-to-hook-up
― Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 6 June 2012 20:21 (11 months ago) Permalink
The first thing that you might notice is that permalink URLs are now simpler: they no longer use the hashbang (#!).
#!#!#!
― blossom smulch (schlump), Wednesday, 6 June 2012 20:34 (11 months ago) Permalink
rip hashbang
― lag∞n, Wednesday, 6 June 2012 21:29 (11 months ago) Permalink
fuck give it back!
― markers, Wednesday, 6 June 2012 21:30 (11 months ago) Permalink
totally not what i thought a hashbang was.
― “Argh!” I cry. But I really don’t care. (forksclovetofu), Thursday, 7 June 2012 01:51 (11 months ago) Permalink
― Ned Raggett, Wednesday, June 6, 2012 4:21 PM (5 hours ago) Bookmark
yeah this cracked me up
― shipl.de.al (some dude), Thursday, 7 June 2012 01:53 (11 months ago) Permalink
I loved the phrase "divine interception", ha
― Ò (Ówen P.), Thursday, 7 June 2012 02:10 (11 months ago) Permalink
hahahaha amazing
― kanye kardashian (lex pretend), Thursday, 7 June 2012 07:45 (11 months ago) Permalink
anyone looking for a reason why twitter exists
― Convert simple JEEZ to BDSMcode (Austerity Ponies), Thursday, 7 June 2012 14:57 (11 months ago) Permalink
Each week, Sweden gives its official national twitter account to a different Swedish citizen... this week it is the rather entertaining Sonja... https://twitter.com/#!/sweden
― only NWOFHM! is real (krakow), Wednesday, 13 June 2012 23:06 (11 months ago) Permalink
― ♆ (gr8080), Wednesday, 20 June 2012 02:25 (11 months ago) Permalink
social media
― Authorities don't know who shot the 50 Cent the goose. (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 20 June 2012 02:33 (11 months ago) Permalink
dying
― decrepit but free (underrated aerosmith bootlegs I have owned), Wednesday, 20 June 2012 02:59 (11 months ago) Permalink
alton brown is posting cute drawings to twitter: squid, lobster godzilla, barney the dinosaur on a grill, the chairman.
― thumbs.db (get bent), Wednesday, 20 June 2012 03:29 (11 months ago) Permalink
F5 F5 F5 F5
― stet, Thursday, 21 June 2012 16:27 (11 months ago) Permalink
lol
― deadcandace (diamonddave85), Thursday, 21 June 2012 16:39 (11 months ago) Permalink
sucks when a celeb makes the same joke you made in a previous tweet and you look at their RTs and favs and followers vs. your RTs and favs and followers and you feel a little sad about it
― congratulations (n/a), Monday, 2 July 2012 19:59 (10 months ago) Permalink
eh if someone makes the same joke as you it's prob not a terribly original joke worth feeling any type of way about
― abandon al ships (some dude), Monday, 2 July 2012 20:00 (10 months ago) Permalink
but i made it first. so they're the ones being unoriginal.
― congratulations (n/a), Monday, 2 July 2012 20:05 (10 months ago) Permalink
starting a twitter feud is def the way to go in these situations
― lag∞n, Monday, 2 July 2012 21:08 (10 months ago) Permalink
You gotta do the standup to get the followers.
― Odd Spice (Eazy), Monday, 2 July 2012 21:09 (10 months ago) Permalink
my little brother has been laboring on this truly amazing twitter project far too long & hard to have only 18 followers-- please follow him
https://twitter.com/#!/eatingabagel
― ♆ (gr8080), Monday, 2 July 2012 23:48 (10 months ago) Permalink
― Authorities don't know who shot the 50 Cent the goose. (forksclovetofu), Monday, 2 July 2012 23:58 (10 months ago) Permalink
Why did your parents decide to have another child that is a bot. Xpost
― Jeff, Monday, 2 July 2012 23:58 (10 months ago) Permalink
cool tip http://kottke.org/12/07/turn-your-twitter-stream-into-your-friends-linkblog
― lag∞n, Monday, 23 July 2012 18:51 (9 months ago) Permalink
this is punishment for me mocking ppl annoyed that gchat is down
― stet, Thursday, 26 July 2012 15:35 (9 months ago) Permalink
is twitter down too my lord
― lag∞n, Thursday, 26 July 2012 16:35 (9 months ago) Permalink
Twitter is currently down for <%= reason %>.We expect to be back in <%= deadline %>.
― real men have been preparing manly dishes for centuries (elmo argonaut), Thursday, 26 July 2012 16:41 (9 months ago) Permalink
lmao cant even rouse the fail whale
― lag∞n, Thursday, 26 July 2012 16:42 (9 months ago) Permalink
Thanks for your patience!
― mod night at the oasis (NickB), Thursday, 26 July 2012 16:45 (9 months ago) Permalink
aaaaaand we're back
― real men have been preparing manly dishes for centuries (elmo argonaut), Thursday, 26 July 2012 16:51 (9 months ago) Permalink
not me :(
― lag∞n, Thursday, 26 July 2012 16:51 (9 months ago) Permalink
works for me now
― congratulations (n/a), Thursday, 26 July 2012 17:53 (9 months ago) Permalink
oh god the olympics
― lag∞n, Saturday, 28 July 2012 16:48 (9 months ago) Permalink
Tweetbot for iOS can mute hashtags and keywords. Quiets things down quite a bit.
― Jeff, Saturday, 28 July 2012 16:53 (9 months ago) Permalink
Oh Jeff, you're brilliant. I didn't know there was a keyword/expression mute in Tweetbot until now.
In Australia we have a "sport" called "AFL" that's basically just a lower-class version of rugby. Every week the incredibly obnoxious AFL twitter account starts a load of brand new hashtags, one for EVERY SINGLE FUCKING GAME (#aflbluestigers #afleaglesbats etc etc fucking etc). I've just created a wildcard filter (#afl*) in Tweetbot that WORKS and suddenly love the shit out of you, Jeff.
― undermikey: bidness (Autumn Almanac), Saturday, 28 July 2012 22:17 (9 months ago) Permalink
I'm very lovable.
― Jeff, Sunday, 29 July 2012 00:47 (9 months ago) Permalink
In Australia we have a sport called footie that's basically just awesome
FIXED, CAARN THE PIES
― steven fucking tyler (underrated aerosmith bootlegs I have owned), Sunday, 29 July 2012 02:03 (9 months ago) Permalink
They give you points for missing
― undermikey: bidness (Autumn Almanac), Sunday, 29 July 2012 02:19 (9 months ago) Permalink
CAAAAARN THE BLUES wot did you say AA I can't hear you over the FOOTYMAYTE
― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 31 July 2012 01:45 (9 months ago) Permalink
What was it this kid tweeted to Tom Daley that got him arrested, then? Did he threaten to blow him sky high? Either way, Graham Linehan's gleeful "get him banned" campaign is nagl
― stet, Tuesday, 31 July 2012 08:15 (9 months ago) Permalink
It was something along the lines of "You've let your dead dad down".
― Alba, Tuesday, 31 July 2012 08:17 (9 months ago) Permalink
Oh. I see. It then escalated into tweets like "I'll stick a knife down your throat" to people who attacked him
http://liberalconspiracy.org/2012/07/31/does-tom-daleys-twitter-troll-deserve-arrest/
― Alba, Tuesday, 31 July 2012 08:22 (9 months ago) Permalink
jesus christ I fucking hate the way Twitter scapegoats individuals sometimes, and it's even less of a good look when those individuals are CHILDREN
the kid was being a cunt but singling him out as though the problem isn't endemic makes me really uncomfortable
― lex pretend, Tuesday, 31 July 2012 08:25 (9 months ago) Permalink
it's even less of a good look when those individuals are CHILDREN
see also the hunger games racist tweets. yeah they were dubious but OMG WITCH-HUNTING 12-YEAR-OLDS IS EVEN WORSE
― lex pretend, Tuesday, 31 July 2012 08:26 (9 months ago) Permalink