ILE rolling non-slam Tennis thread

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that 5-5 30-30 point where djokovic hit what was going to be a winning shot but the linesman called it out

fsnjghdffgg HATE

uberweiss, Monday, 21 May 2012 11:48 (11 months ago) Permalink

why can't i watch this match :(

liberté, égalité, beyoncé (lex pretend), Monday, 21 May 2012 12:00 (11 months ago) Permalink

That pt ruined the match for Nole, I think - he was totally distracted afterwards. xpost

Nice to see how fluent his Italian is now.

Roz, Monday, 21 May 2012 12:48 (11 months ago) Permalink

The USO will be St Kim's last tournament. Good riddance! :D

liberté, égalité, beyoncé (lex pretend), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 12:02 (11 months ago) Permalink

boo

I actually want everyone from Kim's era to come back and play because maybe then I won't feel so fucking old

that is a weird thing to bring up over lean cuisine (DJP), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 12:56 (11 months ago) Permalink

hope she loses first round to rus or someone :D

uberweiss, Tuesday, 22 May 2012 16:04 (11 months ago) Permalink

3 weeks pass...

paire benoit ‏@benoitpaire

Le rêve de manger une pizza avec une petite bière en écoutant de la musique triste!!!!!

awwww

kanye kardashian (lex pretend), Wednesday, 13 June 2012 20:49 (11 months ago) Permalink

Wow, I don't think I realised quite the extent of Roddick's slump. After losing to Roger-Vasselin yesterday, he's 7-11 for the year.

Sam Querrey is yr only former champ still in the draw at Queen's.

Michael Jones, Thursday, 14 June 2012 12:36 (11 months ago) Permalink

Haas got a set of Fed, eh. Must find a stream immediately.

neil young & crazy town (edwardo), Sunday, 17 June 2012 12:43 (11 months ago) Permalink

Make that two, and the tournament.

abcfsk, Sunday, 17 June 2012 12:54 (11 months ago) Permalink

Well blow me down. Happened too fast for me to find one. Anyone see it?

neil young & crazy town (edwardo), Sunday, 17 June 2012 12:55 (11 months ago) Permalink

I have had no trouble finding a stream for Bad Gastein, but, dear me, Cornet v Wickmayer, I can't think of a final I'd like to watch less than psycho bitch Cornet and Whoopeemayer.

(No, Clijsters/Oprandi, no, no).

neil young & crazy town (edwardo), Sunday, 17 June 2012 12:57 (11 months ago) Permalink

Only saw the last game. Fed slipped and fell on the grass, real cartoon-like.

abcfsk, Sunday, 17 June 2012 12:59 (11 months ago) Permalink

Ditto. Crowd looked really into it!

They've only just finished the Edgbaston QFs, lulz.

star-spangled david banner (lex pretend), Sunday, 17 June 2012 13:17 (11 months ago) Permalink

Why is the Devil Child playing a 25K in France next week instead of Wimbledon qualies? I was anticipating seeing her in person...

star-spangled david banner (lex pretend), Sunday, 17 June 2012 13:18 (11 months ago) Permalink

oh nalbandian, what an idiot

༼◍ྀ ౪ ◍ི ༽ (cozen), Sunday, 17 June 2012 14:46 (11 months ago) Permalink

lol i love him

groovemaaan, Sunday, 17 June 2012 14:47 (11 months ago) Permalink

welp that was inappropriate

༼◍ྀ ౪ ◍ི ༽ (cozen), Sunday, 17 June 2012 15:05 (11 months ago) Permalink

That speech might have been the least gracious thing I've ever seen in tennis :o

star-spangled david banner (lex pretend), Sunday, 17 June 2012 15:10 (11 months ago) Permalink

WHY DO I ALWAYS MISS THINGS

absolute lol @ nalbandian, what the actual fuck?

uberweiss, Sunday, 17 June 2012 15:16 (11 months ago) Permalink

star-spangled david banner (lex pretend), Sunday, 17 June 2012 15:19 (11 months ago) Permalink

aww poor nalbandian, he didn't mean to hit him, i hope there's a clause in the rules about intent so they don't have to disqualify him!!

lol @ andrew fucking castle

uberweiss, Sunday, 17 June 2012 15:27 (11 months ago) Permalink

there's no clause, it was an automatic default.

He could have rescued his reputation with a decent apology, it was just a moment of idiocy, but instead he managed to look like even more of a cunt with that astonishingly self-serving "apology".

star-spangled david banner (lex pretend), Sunday, 17 June 2012 15:33 (11 months ago) Permalink

and it's not just a DQ he should worry about but an actual suspension.

star-spangled david banner (lex pretend), Sunday, 17 June 2012 15:34 (11 months ago) Permalink

i know lex, i'm just paraphrasing what andrew castle said

saw a photo of the linesman's knee. it is pretty gruesome. can't wait for the speeches to be uploaded :D

uberweiss, Sunday, 17 June 2012 15:43 (11 months ago) Permalink

man why I am always asleep when these things happen? Oh Nalby, you idiot.

In other hilarious news: http://yfrog.com/ntznmejj

Roz, Sunday, 17 June 2012 21:36 (11 months ago) Permalink

I wondered whether Jankovic's new low would occur by losing to a GBR WC in her opening round but making it to the final only to lose to Shoedin AGAIN is definitely a more Jankovician way of hitting a new low.

Ugh, though, Oudin seems to actually be back 4 real.

star-spangled david banner (lex pretend), Monday, 18 June 2012 16:53 (11 months ago) Permalink

(Meanwhile, Donald Young actually HAS gone and lost to a GBR WC in Eastbourne today. 10th straight loss I think.)

star-spangled david banner (lex pretend), Monday, 18 June 2012 16:54 (11 months ago) Permalink

Donald Young is going to give me neck sprain, I spend so much time shaking my damn head at him

Victory Chainsaw! (DJP), Monday, 18 June 2012 16:55 (11 months ago) Permalink

And Samantha Stosur just lost to a 251st-ranked qualifier in 's-Hertoeekjfnknddddddklddlkdkldkldkldkldlk HOWEVER YOU TYPE THAT PLACE NAME

star-spangled david banner (lex pretend), Monday, 18 June 2012 17:04 (11 months ago) Permalink

'S-HERTOGENBOSCH

star-spangled david banner (lex pretend), Monday, 18 June 2012 17:05 (11 months ago) Permalink

We all know about Kvitty's hit-or-miss style...and yeah, that's her game and always will be. But I have wondered so many times this year WHAT she's actually trying to get her strokes under control, especially on big points. Is she trying anything at all? Or is she just going to swing away idiotically forever in the hope that a Peak Pierce style run magically ensues every few years.

star-spangled david banner (lex pretend), Tuesday, 19 June 2012 11:05 (11 months ago) Permalink

COMMENTATOR (brightly): "A lovely day at Devonshire Park today! It's bright, warm..." (Beat.) "Well. Not warm, exactly." (Beat.) "It's...dry. And not that windy."

Oh, British Isles.

star-spangled david banner (lex pretend), Tuesday, 19 June 2012 11:15 (11 months ago) Permalink

Don't know why this didn't occur to me earlier but I just realised the players will be in their national colours instead of traditional white at Wimbledon during the Olympics. That's going to be weird.

Roz, Tuesday, 19 June 2012 12:56 (11 months ago) Permalink

Congrats to Roddick for somehow extending his rad streak of seasons with an ATP title.

Matt Armstrong, Sunday, 24 June 2012 04:07 (10 months ago) Permalink

I don't understand how Tamira Paszek just won a Premier title! It is welcome and all, but she had a 2-13 w/l record this year coming into Eastbourne! She lost to Keothavong last week!

Roddick smh, I hope I don't see anyone bigging up his chances or going on about a return to form following this impressive feat of two retirements and three clay bums.

bitch I'm on the 242 (lex pretend), Sunday, 24 June 2012 07:53 (10 months ago) Permalink

2 weeks pass...

Excellent use of fourth Slam runner-up trophy, I say: http://twitter.com/maggiemay_hem/status/223108092827672576/photo/1

also, these tweets about CAKE warming up Sampras at an exo are cracking me up:

Beyond The Baseline ‏@SI_BTBaseline

Watching Marion Bartoli give Pete Sampras a workout. ‪#BOTW12

Sampras marveling at Bartoli's swing volleys. "How do u do that?" "U want me to teach u?" He's looking at her like she's a freak of nature.

Bartoli is absolutely crushing her returns, much to Pete's bewilderment/amusement. ‪#BOTW12

Kevin Fischer ‏@Kfish_WTA

When Serena asked Marion if she could hit w/ Pete Sampras instead, "Serena, for once, let me beat you in something. I'm hitting w/ him."

Roz, Thursday, 12 July 2012 07:12 (10 months ago) Permalink

haha, it's not even like Bartoli's volleys are a particularly outstanding area of her game.

Former tennis player Jankovic has just allowed Bratdeweghe to reach the Stanford QF -_-

Donald Young lost another 1R (to Michael Russell, by the scoreLiNa of 1-6 6-1 6-4). 2-16 this year, can't believe he'll be going to the Olympics.

Why is Hewitt in an ATP QF. Stop that immediately.

bitch I'm on the 242 (lex pretend), Thursday, 12 July 2012 07:43 (10 months ago) Permalink

I'm just laughing at the thought of Bartoli doing her little bunny hop-and-practice swing routine before returning Sampras' serve. She looks so happy too:

is it the 12th or 13th loss in a row for Donald Young now? yeesh.

also smh at JJ.

Roz, Thursday, 12 July 2012 08:03 (10 months ago) Permalink

Her SF vs Wickmayer was the first time I've seen Vandeweghe play. She did well. What's the verdict about her game from the regs in this thread who know tennis a hell of a lot better than I do?

pandemic, Sunday, 15 July 2012 11:51 (10 months ago) Permalink

Big brainless bashing game, pretty raw even though she's not exactly a junior any more. Started tennis relatively late which could account for some of the rawness but more likely is that she's lazy and unmotivated - she comes from a really rich family (I think her dad or uncle is some mega-famous US sports star). Her results are 90% terrible 1R/2R losses to whomever except in this SoCal swing (she's a SoCal girl herself, I guess she gets somewhat motivated in her home state + the fast courts suit her game).

I really dislike her, she seems like the archetypal spoiled rich bitch - after losing in the US play-off for the AO WC last year to Brodsky, she stormed off court without shaking her opponent's hand. Plus, various kinda awful tweets, eg the one complaining that the first stamp in her new passport would be, ew, Mexico! And complaining about getting busted for parking in a disabled bay.

I hope Serena double bagels her and sends her ass back to Challengers tbh.

bitch I'm on the 242 (lex pretend), Sunday, 15 July 2012 12:30 (10 months ago) Permalink

Oh, she played Wickmayer. What a fest of likeability that must have been.

bitch I'm on the 242 (lex pretend), Sunday, 15 July 2012 12:30 (10 months ago) Permalink

lol. ty Lex.

pandemic, Sunday, 15 July 2012 13:33 (10 months ago) Permalink

lol spoiled rich bitch has always been how I've pictured Vandeweghe even before i watched her play - her name kind of screams high school mean girl movie villain.

Roz, Sunday, 15 July 2012 15:02 (10 months ago) Permalink

CoCo Vandeweghe ‏@CoCoVandey
I don't know what's more depressing. Spending 5hrs in Houston airport or having my first stamp in my in passport be Mexico.. ‪#tennisproblems‬

bitch I'm on the 242 (lex pretend), Sunday, 15 July 2012 20:04 (10 months ago) Permalink

smfmh Serena

you better not lose a game from this point on

I see you, Pineapple Teef (DJP), Sunday, 15 July 2012 20:38 (10 months ago) Permalink

jesus fucking christ

Serena is going to lose a set to Coco fucking Vandeweghe

I see you, Pineapple Teef (DJP), Sunday, 15 July 2012 20:40 (10 months ago) Permalink

hmm maybe Serena heard me yelling at her

I see you, Pineapple Teef (DJP), Sunday, 15 July 2012 20:47 (10 months ago) Permalink

I can't watch this match but every tennis fan I follow on Twitter pretty much yelled "HAVE SOME SELF-RESPECT SERENA" a few minutes ago and apparently she heard all of you THANK FUCK

bitch I'm on the 242 (lex pretend), Sunday, 15 July 2012 21:14 (10 months ago) Permalink


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