Dammit I demand that calories and other nutritional data are expressed in scientific notation! Or failing that, as base 7 reals with 3 decimals of precision. I'm determined not to have gone through New Math for nothing.
― banal like anal (snoball), Thursday, 17 May 2012 10:36 (1 year ago) Permalink
Since coming back to the UK I've noticed tons of branding in the supermarkets which has gone all cutesy. I don't know if it's just a contrast with US brands or if they've actually gotten worse but they're all using childish non-threatening fonts and writing all kinds of shit over the front of the packaging (e.g. instead of 'Doughnuts' it says 'I'm a DOUGHNUT monster!'). I blame Innocent.
― kinder, Thursday, 17 May 2012 10:45 (1 year ago) Permalink
I imagine BrewDog would see themselves as the complete opposite of this kind of thing, but a lot of their cobblers is surprisingly similar:
"Bracken is James' Dad's chocolate lab. He recently appeared on Mastermind and progressed to the semi final with his specialist subject of 'The origins of Constitutional Democratic Government: Europe 1846-1912'. Unfortunately he missed the semi-final because he was busy chasing a stick.
He is our guard dog, head taster, accountant and general buddy! Be sure to say hi if you see him. He is very friendly! Apparently he loves a high-five… and a biscuit!"
― bham, Thursday, 17 May 2012 12:37 (1 year ago) Permalink
h8 the brewdog blurbs
― jabba hands, Thursday, 17 May 2012 13:07 (1 year ago) Permalink
everything about brew dog is reprehensible.
― zverotic discourse (jim in glasgow), Thursday, 17 May 2012 13:18 (1 year ago) Permalink
the pot noodle (i know) im currently eating: "Quality: if it's in perfect condition, happy days, if not, have a moan at the customer care department. And don't forget to quote the code on the pot so we know who to send back to noodle school".
― zverotic discourse (jim in glasgow), Thursday, 17 May 2012 13:22 (1 year ago) Permalink
KINDLY FUCK OFF.
i quite like the first sentence there, even if the second is terrible
― navihchkan (nakhchivan), Thursday, 17 May 2012 13:28 (1 year ago) Permalink
"happy days". not on my watch.
― zverotic discourse (jim in glasgow), Thursday, 17 May 2012 13:30 (1 year ago) Permalink
idk it seems like it's being used sarcastically? assuming that glaswegian pot noodles all speak like malcolm tucker
― navihchkan (nakhchivan), Thursday, 17 May 2012 13:32 (1 year ago) Permalink
"send back to noodle school" has some potential as a phrase, just not on the side of a pot noodle
― cissémanwhore (DJ Mencap), Thursday, 17 May 2012 14:42 (1 year ago) Permalink
Brewdog's short run taxidermy publicity stunt editions are pretty noize tbf
― cissémanwhore (DJ Mencap), Thursday, 17 May 2012 14:45 (1 year ago) Permalink
i don't think this kind of thing has really caught on the US yet
― goole, Thursday, 17 May 2012 17:27 (1 year ago) Permalink
'Happy Days' makes me think of that awful payday-loan-hawking cricket cunt Phil Tuffnell.
― sktsh, Thursday, 17 May 2012 19:05 (1 year ago) Permalink
My Tesco bagged salad has a skirt-wearing stick figure on the back and a Comic Sans story about some presumably imaginary lady growing their salad garden and all her brilliant ideas for growing better salads and then in bigger Comic Sans it says "we all think she's a bit of a star!"
Well, we all think you can fuck right off, Tesco marketing department.
That is all.
― instant coffee happening between us (a passing spacecadet), Thursday, 17 May 2012 20:54 (1 year ago) Permalink
Apparently my "call to grubhub may be recorded to ensure awesomeness"
gah
― American Fear of Pranksterism (Ed), Friday, 18 May 2012 00:28 (1 year ago) Permalink
flickr using
"Herding pandas..."
to mean "loading stuff" :(
― "What a book!" Terry Bland (onimo), Sunday, 17 June 2012 13:24 (1 year ago) Permalink
^
yeah somewhere along the line flickr turned into the OK Cola of websites
― brödinger's cat (Pillbox), Sunday, 17 June 2012 16:08 (1 year ago) Permalink
― caek, Wednesday, 8 August 2012 11:48 (10 months ago) Permalink
Yeesh. I look fwd to them patronising the other gold medal winners with regard to their epic "chasing people on bikes", "running really, really fast" and "shooting pigeons (not real ones!)" etc. Fuckers.
― that mustardless plate (Bill A), Wednesday, 8 August 2012 12:07 (10 months ago) Permalink
― caek, Wednesday, 8 August 2012 12:25 (10 months ago) Permalink
wow the stuff they post on facebook
Letitia Jane Becher - as tempting as it would be to spend our days forging adorable letters from small children, we have better things to do with our time. Namely, finding pictures of baby duck billed platypuses to share with you on facebook, and sometimes squashing fruit into bottles, which keeps us pretty busy. Pictures of baby duck billed platypuses don't just find themselves you know, and it takes ages to get even the smallest of mangoes into a bottle.
Ugh.
― Temporarily Famous In The Czech Republic (ShariVari), Wednesday, 8 August 2012 12:35 (10 months ago) Permalink
this ad is tied into videos at my work, and i have to watch it a lot. god it's shit. bonus points for the ever-popular trustworthy northern narrator.
― Heterocyclic ring ring (LocalGarda), Tuesday, 30 October 2012 15:59 (7 months ago) Permalink
Andy Kershaw's probly got a lot of solicitor's fees to pay off tbf
― chow mein kampf (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 30 October 2012 16:00 (7 months ago) Permalink
(innocent have moved, btw. the industrial estate in W12 (W6?) where Innocent Towers used to be now has a sign on the locked gate saying 'luxury apartments coming soon')
― koogs, Tuesday, 30 October 2012 16:07 (7 months ago) Permalink
xp I thought it was David "Bumble" Lloyd?
― Arvo Pärt Chimp (Neil S), Tuesday, 30 October 2012 16:20 (7 months ago) Permalink
i dunno, i was joking. sounds too young for Bumble to me.
― chow mein kampf (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 30 October 2012 16:21 (7 months ago) Permalink
no, it cd be him on re-listening
― chow mein kampf (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 30 October 2012 16:22 (7 months ago) Permalink
shd've given the gig to Michael Holding, i wd actually buy anything he asked me to his voice is so lush
― chow mein kampf (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 30 October 2012 16:23 (7 months ago) Permalink
you heard it here first, vendors of financial products!
― Arvo Pärt Chimp (Neil S), Tuesday, 30 October 2012 16:31 (7 months ago) Permalink
I think it is Bumble. Friend of mine was in a pub in Birmingham once where David Lloyd and Bob Dylan Willis were sitting in a pub with some young women (surely daughters or... something) at about half ten in the evening, and Bumble was being cheerful and talkative and Bob Willis was staring gloomily across the table, and then said in his unassuageably dreary tones, 'Do you fancy another, Bumble, or are you done?'. He wouldn't sell many smoothies.
Holding could sell anything for sure, but I'm slightly scarred by the memory of two comments he made during a West Indies/England Test a number of years ago now (could it have been that series where Harmison went berserk?). Anyway, the camera was panning around the all but empty stadium, and Holding's gentle warm accents gave forth the line, 'Not many people here today. Not many people at all. There wouldn't be many casualties if there was a terrorist attack here.' THEN, a bit later or the next day or something, the camera panned over to a boy sitting up a palm tree outside the ground, watching the cricket. A bucolic scene + avoiding any terrorism. Holding goes 'Lad up a tree there. Watching the cricket. Hope he's sitting safe, he could break his neck if he falls out.'
Dark places, Mikey, dark places. Still, yes, would buy a broken neck/large-scale-minimum casualty-terrorist attack off the guy.
― Fizzles, Tuesday, 30 October 2012 20:30 (7 months ago) Permalink
Mike "Alan Partridge" Holding
― Arvo Pärt Chimp (Neil S), Wednesday, 31 October 2012 13:56 (7 months ago) Permalink
think we need some recognition of all the dreadful animated adverts for financial products etc full of human/soft-toy hybrids in a pantheistic wonderland
― Nilmar Honorato da Silva, Wednesday, 31 October 2012 14:00 (7 months ago) Permalink
there really are a lot of these
― Heterocyclic ring ring (LocalGarda), Wednesday, 31 October 2012 14:02 (7 months ago) Permalink
i just don't get who they're supposed to be influencing. i can't even remember who the above one is for and i've had to watch it about 100 times.
― Heterocyclic ring ring (LocalGarda), Wednesday, 31 October 2012 14:03 (7 months ago) Permalink
― Nilmar Honorato da Silva, Wednesday, 31 October 2012 14:03 (7 months ago) Permalink
and the recurrent use of 'that's why we' in adverts
homely sounding northerner: nobody likes seeing their child abducted and murdered
{animated child carrying teddybear wanders off into enchanted forest}
homely sounding northerner: that's why we provide child-abduction-and-murder insurance at no extra cost
― Nilmar Honorato da Silva, Wednesday, 31 October 2012 14:11 (7 months ago) Permalink
proper whippet-powered northern broadband (¿wtf?)
― give me back my 200 dollars (NotEnough), Wednesday, 31 October 2012 14:26 (7 months ago) Permalink
see what this partisan distrust of the capital has wrought
― Heterocyclic ring ring (LocalGarda), Wednesday, 31 October 2012 14:27 (7 months ago) Permalink
i like meerkats as much as the next man but if you base your decision to purchase home insurance based on the offer of a cuddly toy then you probably shdn't be running the household budget tbh
― chow mein kampf (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 31 October 2012 14:45 (7 months ago) Permalink
our insurance is shit (images of your family homeless after a flood)that's why we target idiots in our marketing
― but with socks instead of football (darraghmac), Wednesday, 31 October 2012 15:40 (7 months ago) Permalink
Lol @ 'that's why we' - this never fails to make me shout at the telly
― kinder, Wednesday, 31 October 2012 16:27 (7 months ago) Permalink
"we're passionate about (x)"
― TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Wednesday, 31 October 2012 16:32 (7 months ago) Permalink
also "that's why at" in same role as "that's why we"
― Heterocyclic ring ring (LocalGarda), Wednesday, 31 October 2012 16:37 (7 months ago) Permalink
"at * we're passionate about * and that's why"bout 2,200,000 results (0.68 seconds)
― Nilmar Honorato da Silva, Wednesday, 31 October 2012 16:39 (7 months ago) Permalink
Training Courses Milton Keynes - Training Classes & Programs
Here at MKLC we're passionate about training and that's why we're always trying to increase opportunities for learners to be capable to access our programmes.
BuzzBanking | We are passionate about banking!
― Heterocyclic ring ring (LocalGarda), Wednesday, 31 October 2012 16:41 (7 months ago) Permalink
greenfuse.co.uk
We are passionate about funerals moving with the times, contemporary and beautiful, moving and memorable.
― Heterocyclic ring ring (LocalGarda), Wednesday, 31 October 2012 16:42 (7 months ago) Permalink
Welcome to CleaningSquad.com
We are passionate about clean, and that’s why we are in the cleaning business. We embrace “clean” in the fullest sense of the word,
― oh shawx (onimo), Wednesday, 31 October 2012 16:56 (7 months ago) Permalink