there are subtle nuances in every single one of those EXCELSIORS, I'll have you LOL

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I bet he started that thread about being in the same room as a baby, too.

Mark G, Sunday, 13 May 2012 23:11 (1 year ago) Permalink

contenderizer have you ever considered blogging

― ♆ (gr8080), Sunday, May 13, 2012 9:04 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

he's considered everything

― the late great, Sunday, May 13, 2012 9:05 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

contendo entertainment system (some dude), Monday, 14 May 2012 02:26 (1 year ago) Permalink

haha

estela, Monday, 14 May 2012 02:26 (1 year ago) Permalink

a+

mh, Monday, 14 May 2012 02:31 (1 year ago) Permalink

xD

dayo, Monday, 14 May 2012 02:33 (1 year ago) Permalink

From the thread about Saul Bellow's Seize the Day:

apparently there's a film of this book with robin williams

for all sad words of tongue and pen

― cosi fan whitford (underrated aerosmith bootlegs I have owned)

Aimless, Monday, 14 May 2012 08:41 (1 year ago) Permalink

irl lol at "he's considered everything"

caek, Monday, 14 May 2012 12:00 (1 year ago) Permalink

Chicago Reader possibly getting new owner

― curmudgeon, Monday, May 14, 2012 6:48 AM (37 minutes ago)

is that like google reader for ppl who live in chicago?

― markers, Monday, May 14, 2012 6:49 AM (36 minutes ago)

wow david shapiro, you should get a job writing monologues for jimmy fallon

― contendo entertainment system (some dude), Monday, May 14, 2012 6:54 AM (32 minutes ago)

Ned Raggett, Monday, 14 May 2012 14:27 (1 year ago) Permalink

"jimmy fallon is still a thing?"

thommys got bendz (Whiney G. Weingarten), Monday, 14 May 2012 14:34 (1 year ago) Permalink

irl lol at "he's considered everything"

me too

The term or title antichrist, in Christian theology, refers to (contenderizer), Monday, 14 May 2012 16:50 (1 year ago) Permalink

but she's not from a different culture! she's from the same culture as me! she has a supreme sticker on her laptop! i have like 20 supreme stickers! (in a drawer)

― the late great, Monday, May 14, 2012 3:08 PM (39 minutes ago)

♆ (gr8080), Tuesday, 15 May 2012 01:50 (1 year ago) Permalink

once i saw some show like right before 30 Rock that was some asian dude going CHANG CHANG CHANG CHANG to the tune of 'Carol of the Bells.' Is that racist?

― thommys got bendz (Whiney G. Weingarten), Monday, May 14, 2012 8:52 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

crüt, Tuesday, 15 May 2012 02:51 (1 year ago) Permalink

so i guess if you actually care how you're understood and what impact you have, then your hands are tied a bit. and hence some of the best comedy comes from people who don't care how they're received or what "message" they present.

― s.clover, Tuesday, May 15, 2012 3:45 AM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

like gallagher.

― jesus christ (strongo hulkington's ghost dad), Tuesday, May 15, 2012 3:48 AM (26 seconds ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

bark ruffalo (latebloomer), Tuesday, 15 May 2012 03:48 (1 year ago) Permalink

snap

Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 15 May 2012 04:37 (1 year ago) Permalink

whenever i find myself posting on one of these threads multiple times i have a vision of my grandfather in a muddy ditch, with water in his boots, being shot at by nazis, defending western civilization, and then wondering why he bothered.

― jesus christ (strongo hulkington's ghost dad), Monday, May 14, 2012 7:16 PM (7 minutes ago)

♆ (gr8080), Tuesday, 15 May 2012 05:24 (1 year ago) Permalink

all of strongo's variations on that theme are amazing

horseshoe, Tuesday, 15 May 2012 05:31 (1 year ago) Permalink

I suspect that the Nazis would have been against ILX and closed it down, so by continuing to post we're sticking it to them in a way.

banal like anal (snoball), Tuesday, 15 May 2012 07:11 (1 year ago) Permalink

RIP Nazis

i love the large auns pictures! (Phil D.), Tuesday, 15 May 2012 09:39 (1 year ago) Permalink

we have quenched their voices. freedom, yes, but at what cost? ;_;

pet tommy & the barkhaters (darraghmac), Tuesday, 15 May 2012 09:43 (1 year ago) Permalink

"Posting to ILX... It's like walking down a corridor and answering a door in Nazi Germany."

Or possibly working at this place.

banal like anal (snoball), Tuesday, 15 May 2012 11:08 (1 year ago) Permalink

quotes like that are why I don't mind so much Goodwin's Law sometimes.

pplains, Tuesday, 15 May 2012 14:42 (1 year ago) Permalink

]]controversial mod edit of 77 joeks at user request[[

Impetuous hybrid (Matt P), Tuesday, 15 May 2012 20:22 (1 year ago) Permalink

Need to work 77 and possibly 51 into that equation

buzza, Tuesday, 15 May 2012 20:26 (1 year ago) Permalink

navihchkan (nakhchivan), Tuesday, 15 May 2012 20:33 (1 year ago) Permalink

buzza otm

peace to Matt P-- see u in 60

♆ (gr8080), Tuesday, 15 May 2012 21:24 (1 year ago) Permalink

my deepest apologies buzza

Impetuous hybrid (Matt P), Tuesday, 15 May 2012 21:26 (1 year ago) Permalink

...for being so old ha ha!

Impetuous hybrid (Matt P), Tuesday, 15 May 2012 21:27 (1 year ago) Permalink

Fas Ro Duh (Gukbe), Tuesday, 15 May 2012 21:29 (1 year ago) Permalink

navihchkan (nakhchivan), Tuesday, 15 May 2012 21:50 (1 year ago) Permalink

story problemz

Impetuous hybrid (Matt P), Tuesday, 15 May 2012 21:53 (1 year ago) Permalink

So we've reached the 'subtle nuances' part of the thread, I see

Mark Ruffalo! is gonna tell us! about empathy! (loves laboured breathing), Tuesday, 15 May 2012 21:56 (1 year ago) Permalink

(I had a previous idea for a book on writing sitcoms that basically boiled down to: DO write like seasons 1-5 of Rosanne, DON'T write like seasons 7-9 of Roseanne. Season 6 was a bit of a gray area, but also was just after she'd had extensive plastic surgery so it was, perhaps, instructive in its own way.)

― Bob Bop Perano (Deric W. Haircare), Thursday, May 17, 2012 8:14 AM (26 minutes ago)

it's when they added that extra E that things went bad

― some dude, Thursday, May 17, 2012 8:37 AM (3 minutes ago)

EEXACTLY.

― Bob Bop Perano (Deric W. Haircare), Thursday, May 17, 2012 8:40 AM (7 seconds ago)

Ned Raggett, Thursday, 17 May 2012 15:42 (1 year ago) Permalink

the last episode of roseanne is the most crazy thing ever

Bandersnatch Cumberbund (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Thursday, 17 May 2012 16:06 (1 year ago) Permalink

i never saw it, but reading this, holy shit:

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20070715224343AAcGBJw

Here's what happened on Roseanne: Dan collapsed of a heart attack at Darlene's wedding to David. Dan survived, because DJ performed CPR on Dan until the paramedics arrived. This was towards the end of the eighth season. In the second episode of the ninth season, Jackie reveals that they all won the lottery. The ninth season is kind of crazy now that they are rich. However, the series finale is one of the most agitating retcons in television history. A retcon, in case you didn't know is when they go back and change an already established fact. Roseanne, in a final narration, reveals that everything from the last season was made up by her to deal with Dan's death (he actually did die) and some things from before that she made up too.

(Closing monologue, in basement, writing)
Roseanne: Everyone wonders where creative people get their inspiration. Actually, I’ve found it’s all around you. Take Leon for instance… Leon is not really as cool as I made him. He’s the only gay guy I know who belongs to the Elk’s Club... Then there’s Scott. He really is a probate lawyer I met about a year ago and introduced to Leon. I guess I didn’t get too creative there… A lot of kids have called my son a nerd but, as I told him, they called Steven Spielberg a nerd too. A lot of times nerds are really artists who just listen to the beat of a different drum… My mom came from a generation where women were supposed to be submissive about everything. I never bought into that, and I wish mom hadn’t either. I wish she had made different choices. So I think that’s why I made her gay. I wanted her to have some sense of herself as a woman… Oh yeah, and she’s nuts… My sister, in real life, unlike my mother, is gay. She always told me she was gay, but for some reason, I always pictured her with a man. She’s been my rock, and I would not have made it this far without her. I guess Nancy’s kind of my hero too… Cause she got out of a terrible marriage and found a great spiritual strength. I don’t know what happened to that husband of hers but in my book I sent him into outer space… When Becky brought David home a few years ago I thought, “This is wrong!” He was much more Darlene’s type… When Darlene met Mark, I thought he went better with Becky… I guess I was wrong. But I still think they’d be more compatible the other way around. So in my writing, I did what any good mother would do. I fixed it… I lost Dan last year when he had his heart attack. He’s still the first thing I think about when I wake up and the last thing I think about before I go to sleep. I miss him… Dan and I always felt that it was our responsibility as parents to improve the lives of our children by 50% over our own. And we did. We didn’t hit our children as we were hit, we didn’t demand their unquestioning silence, and we didn’t teach our daughters to sacrifice more than our sons. As a modern wife, I walked a tight rope between tradition and progress, and usually, I failed, by one outsider’s standards or another’s. But I figured out that neither winning nor losing count for women like they do for men. We women are the one’s who transform everything we touch. And nothing on earth is higher than that. My writing’s really what got me through the last year after Dan died. I mean at first I felt so betrayed as if he had left me for another woman. When you’re a blue-collar woman and your husband dies it takes away your whole sense of security. So I began writing about having all the money in the world and I imagined myself going to spas and swanky New York parties just like the people on TV, where nobody has any real problems and everything’s solved within 30 minutes. I tried to imagine myself as Mary Richards, Jeannie, That Girl. But I was so angry I was more like a female Steven Segal wanting to fight the whole world. For a while I lost myself in food and a depression so deep that I couldn’t even get out of bed till I saw that my family needed me to pull through so that they could pull through. One day, I actually imagined being with another man. But then I felt so guilty I had to pretend it was for some altruistic reason. And then Darlene had the baby, and it almost died. I snapped out of the mourning immediately, and all of my life energy turned into choosing life. In choosing life, I realized that my dreams of being a writer wouldn’t just come true; I had to do the work. And as I wrote about my life, I relived it, and whatever I didn’t like, I rearranged. I made a commitment to finish my story even if I had to write in the basement in the middle of the night while everyone else was asleep. But the more I wrote, the more I understood myself and why I had made the choices I made, and that was the real jackpot. I learned that dreams don’t work without action; I learned that no one could stop me but me. I learned that love is stronger than hate. And most important, I learned that God does exist. He and/or She is right inside you, underneath the pain, the sorrow, and the shame. I think I’ll be a lot better now that this book is done.

(voiceovers from Roseanne's birthday episode years back)
D.J.: Happy birthday, Mom. Here, pencils.
Darlene: Yeah, and I got you some notepads.
Becky: And I got you a dictionary and a thesaurus.
Dan: You know Stephen King started this way.
(Roseanne heads out of the basement).

Mad God 40/40 (Z S), Thursday, 17 May 2012 18:00 (1 year ago) Permalink

That was one of the most wtf endings I've ever seen.

Respectfully, Tyrese Gibson (Nicole), Thursday, 17 May 2012 18:10 (1 year ago) Permalink

With each passing movie revealed, I get nervous the next one's gonna be The Human Centipede. The higher we get, the higher go the nerves.

― The Thnig, Thursday, May 17, 2012 2:07 PM (4 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

With each passing movie revealed, I get nervous the next one's gonna be The Human Centipede. The higher we get, the higher go the nerves.

lol it's like the napoleon dynamite of horror movies!!!

― Boris Kutyurkokhov (Eisbaer), Thursday, May 17, 2012 2:08 PM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

with more segments

― remy bean, Thursday, May 17, 2012 2:08 PM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Would watch a version with Napoleon, Kip and Pedro sewn together. In that order.

― i love the large auns pictures! (Phil D.), Thursday, May 17, 2012 2:10 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Boris Kutyurkokhov (Eisbaer), Thursday, 17 May 2012 18:13 (1 year ago) Permalink

St. Elsewhere
Roseanne
Newhart
Dallas

what else?

remy bean, Thursday, 17 May 2012 18:15 (1 year ago) Permalink

The "it was allllll a dream!" bit wasn't the finale of Dallas, though.

Bob Bop Perano (Deric W. Haircare), Thursday, 17 May 2012 18:15 (1 year ago) Permalink

i kinda want to watch the last few seasons of Roseanne.

also remy: Lost, duh.

(Name Withheld to Avoid Hassle) (forksclovetofu), Thursday, 17 May 2012 18:25 (1 year ago) Permalink

oy. life on mars (american, kind of...)

remy bean, Thursday, 17 May 2012 18:30 (1 year ago) Permalink

xpost

I honestly do think there's a direct link between Roseanne's plastic surgery and the beginning of the show's decline. They're almost shockingly concurrent. It devolved very quickly into Roseanne's Snipey, Call-And-Response, Boilerplate Sitcom Jokey-Joke Time right after her face lost the ability to form anything but vaguely disgusted expressions.

Bob Bop Perano (Deric W. Haircare), Thursday, 17 May 2012 18:32 (1 year ago) Permalink

I never saw the last few Roseanne series' but that's one hell of an ending.

I think so, anyway..

Mark G, Thursday, 17 May 2012 21:36 (1 year ago) Permalink

i just think "oh remember Hardees?" "oh they're called carl's junior here!" "have you ever had a hoagie?" "hoagie? its called a grinder!" "my cousin worked at burger king one summer!" "one time i puked at burger king!" is the usually the dumbest most boring shit ever and it happens to good threads

― ♆ (gr8080), Thursday, May 17, 2012 10:14 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

hardees were a totally diff restaurant until they were bought by carls jr in the mid 90s, ive never eaten at hardees and I made up the part abt the mid 90s, but its true they used to be dif, iirc, I def ate at carls jr a couple times, also the girls in front of me on the airport shuttle from lax last week were commenting on every west coast specific fast food place like we dont have that in Tennessee I heard Carlls. jr is good, little did they know its the same as hardees, they were prob too young to remember the pre sale carls jr, also they took a picture of the shuttle before it left the airport then later the borrowed my phone because theirs was out of batts I guess because of taking pics of the shuttle etc

― lag∞n, Friday, May 18, 2012 12:41 AM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Bob Bop Perano (Deric W. Haircare), Friday, 18 May 2012 05:45 (1 year ago) Permalink

^^^ effortfully but successfully summarizes the etc.

Doctor Casino, Friday, 18 May 2012 05:47 (1 year ago) Permalink

didn't see the last episode of roseanne, but that closing monologue is amazing

The term or title antichrist, in Christian theology, refers to (contenderizer), Friday, 18 May 2012 06:30 (1 year ago) Permalink

xxp they're called 'takeaways' over here i don't think we have any carl jrs or arby's tho

pet tommy & the barkhaters (darraghmac), Friday, 18 May 2012 06:33 (1 year ago) Permalink

third world problems

O_o-O_0-o_O (jjjusten), Friday, 18 May 2012 06:34 (1 year ago) Permalink

I remember watching roseanne religiously, but have zero recollection of the final season. I remember everything up to Dan's heartattack.

Jeff, Friday, 18 May 2012 11:30 (1 year ago) Permalink

Maybe I died too.

Jeff, Friday, 18 May 2012 11:30 (1 year ago) Permalink

That last season was a real hate letter to the fans. Every other episode was a 'fantasy' episode, the family won the lottery and turned into the Beverly Hillbillies, Dan was off galivanting around with another woman for half the season. And yet they still expected the odd dramatic moment to have emotional resonance. It's no wonder you blocked it out.

Bob Bop Perano (Deric W. Haircare), Friday, 18 May 2012 13:22 (1 year ago) Permalink


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