Why I love the Daily Mail, as distilled into one story.

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I had a flash of panic when it said "if you're planning on showering mom with flowers or giving her a card this Sunday" until i realised that i haven't bought my mother a card since 1992 it's actually Sunday the 18th in the UK.

Strange that they'd presumably pick up a US story and not bother changing anything that made it completely obvious they were just printing pre-packaged press releases.

Just like you, except hot (ShariVari), Thursday, 10 May 2012 19:49 (2 years ago) Permalink

Horror in 'Nappy Valley': Father comes home to find baby son and daughter 'smothered to death by wife' - just 10 days after they moved into £1.2m dream home

Neighbours saw the dark-haired mother being put into a police car by an officer who had an arm around her at around 10.30pm last night.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2142296/Wandsworth-deaths-Father-discovers-murdered-babies-killed-wife-slit-wrists.html#ixzz1uV5V9TDH

tebow kortwa (nakhchivan), Thursday, 10 May 2012 20:27 (2 years ago) Permalink

This is the thread for unusual details in wikipedia articles Daily Mail stories

It was you. Miming to Tenacious D. (stevie), Thursday, 10 May 2012 21:37 (2 years ago) Permalink

their bizarre house pricing obsession is just o_O

Keith pissed on my chips (onimo), Thursday, 10 May 2012 22:12 (2 years ago) Permalink

I had a flash of panic when it said "if you're planning on showering mom with flowers or giving her a card this Sunday"

I read this as 'if you're planning on showering with mom'

kinder, Thursday, 10 May 2012 22:25 (2 years ago) Permalink

so in other words the mail stole it off some american site? haha

it looks like something rupert the bear would wear (Algerian Goalkeeper), Thursday, 10 May 2012 22:32 (2 years ago) Permalink

i didn't read it tbh i just looked at the funny pics.

it looks like something rupert the bear would wear (Algerian Goalkeeper), Thursday, 10 May 2012 22:33 (2 years ago) Permalink

Vanessa-Hudgens-wears-pair-teeny-tiny-shorts-leaves-pilates-class-Austin-Butler.html

Serov devochka s persikami (nakhchivan), Sunday, 20 May 2012 02:03 (2 years ago) Permalink

2 months pass...

something inappropriate about the font which labels the arrow of this suicide flight-path:

bulge renaissance (+ +), Wednesday, 25 July 2012 11:54 (1 year ago) Permalink

Doesn't it go totally against some sort of code of conduct to show pictures of suicide spots in such articles?

mod night at the oasis (NickB), Wednesday, 25 July 2012 11:58 (1 year ago) Permalink

PCC code:

*ii) When reporting suicide, care should be taken to avoid excessive detail about the method used.

joe, Wednesday, 25 July 2012 11:58 (1 year ago) Permalink

further guidance:

Graphic images illustrating suicide methods were often upsetting to relatives and friends. Under the Code, such images would normally have to pass the ‘excessive detail’ test.

joe, Wednesday, 25 July 2012 11:59 (1 year ago) Permalink

There you go! Obnoxious wankers

mod night at the oasis (NickB), Wednesday, 25 July 2012 12:00 (1 year ago) Permalink

looks like a compressed version of the guardian g2 font

caek, Wednesday, 25 July 2012 12:04 (1 year ago) Permalink

coincidence? i think not.

caek, Wednesday, 25 July 2012 12:04 (1 year ago) Permalink

3 months pass...

Her husband Jeff discovered the tiny bodies at the couple’s £1.2 million semi-detached home in an affluent part of Wandsworth, south west London.

Neighbours heard investment banker Mr Boots, 34, cry, ‘Oh my God, oh my God’ as he desperately tried to save his two babies.

Nilmar Honorato da Silva, Tuesday, 30 October 2012 18:40 (1 year ago) Permalink

For some reason that reminds me vividly of the book Boo by Peter de Polnay, possibly even an incident within it, and I can't for the life of me remember why. It's certainly a while since I've thought of it. Is there a Mr Boots in there? Very possibly. There's certainly a tragic occurrence in a... West London I think flat. The tone as well, the tone.

Still fat chance of checking up, since this is about the only information I can get on the book, and PdP is not a writer who has yet ruffled WIkipedia's apodictic curve to infinite reference.

Fizzles, Tuesday, 30 October 2012 20:39 (1 year ago) Permalink

Here he is in a badly-scanned article from the Catholic Herald talking about that quickly forgotten post-war suggestion of a union between France and England:

http://archive.catholicherald.co.uk/article/30th-october-1942/1/peter-de-polnays-faith-in-anglo-france

Best-selling author no less. Speaking for the common malt and Hun-ridden Paris.

Fizzles, Tuesday, 30 October 2012 20:48 (1 year ago) Permalink

nice

i thought that bit in that meades interview was quite correct

I feel like the TV, the radio and the papers are always telling me how much ‘we' hate the French, yet I never really see it myself.

JM: I don't see it either.

no confederacy but quite a history of quixotic military-industrial comity in the postwar (suez, concorde, the channel tunnel etc)

and the recent mutterings about unifying the two ruinously expensive nuclear deterrents

Nilmar Honorato da Silva, Tuesday, 30 October 2012 20:54 (1 year ago) Permalink

Yes, I thought of that bit in the interview as well. And yes, I'd agree it's broadly correct. There's that great southern England folk song - The Grand Conversation on Napoleon - which is all about how the common man (or whatever) wanted Napoleon to invade England and liberate them from their servitude. Can't find a youtube! for shame! Lyrics here - http://mud✧✧✧.o✧✧✧@displays✧✧✧.c✧✧?SongID=6385

Plus, as we all know, much of our energy owned and directed into the future by state-owned French company:

http://www.lrb.co.uk/v34/n17/james-meek/how-we-happened-to-sell-off-our-electricity

(worth reading imo, tho long)

Fizzles, Tuesday, 30 October 2012 21:02 (1 year ago) Permalink

oh ffs. that link doesn't work. good excuse to troll the daily mail thread maybe:

THE GRAND CONVERSATION OF NAPOLEON

Ye war-beaten tribes,
Who were friends of brave Bonaparte
Who come to view the rocks and cliffs
On St. Helen's shore;
The wind it blew a hurricane
And the lightning on our decks did flash
The gulls they were screaming
And the billows loud did roar.
"Those proud waves," the stranger said
As he viewed that lone and dreary spot
Where once Napoleon Bonaparte
His painful eyes did close;
"While in the grave his bones may rot
His name will never be forgot
The grand conversation of Napoleon arose.

A dreadful army he did rise,
To conquer Moscow by surprise;
He led his men across the Alps,
Oppressed by frost and snow
But being near the Russian line,
He then began to open his eyes,
For Moscow was a-burning,
And his men went to and fro.
With dauntless eyes he viewed the flames,
Then in wildest accents he exclaimed:
"Retreat:.yet gallant heroes,
While time so gently!: flows!"
There were thousands died in that retreat,
And many did their horses eat.
The grand conversation of Napoleon arose.

Next at Waterloo those F;renchmen fought
Commanded by brave Bonaparte,
Assisted by7 F'ield Marshal Ney
Who never was bribed by gold
Then Blucher led those Prussians in,
It broke Napoleon's heart within:
"Where is my thirtv thousand men!
Alas! for I am old!
He made one gallant charge across,
Saying, "Alas, brave boys. I fear t'is lost'"
The field is in confusion With blood and dying woes; The
Bunch of roses did advance, Those English entered into France.
The Grand conversation of Napoleon arose.

And now Bonarparte is doomed to be
A prisoner across the sea, On St. Helena`s isle.
That lone and dreary spot;
It's there that he is doomed to he,
Which soon will end his misery.
His true son followed after him
That was another plot.
It's long enough they have been dead,
The blast of war around is spread;
And may our sapling sprout again,
To face our daring foes,
For if fortune smiles without delay,
The whole world soon will him obey.
The grand conversation of Napoleon arose.

Fizzles, Tuesday, 30 October 2012 21:03 (1 year ago) Permalink

Bert Lloyd version is the one to seek btw.

Fizzles, Tuesday, 30 October 2012 21:05 (1 year ago) Permalink

This should not be allowed,the birthplace of the fuhrer should be preserved for posterety so future generations can see the place of his birth, not a collection of chic flats.

- martin. , peterborough.uk., 08/11/2012 14:12

Nilmar Honorato da Silva, Friday, 9 November 2012 00:49 (1 year ago) Permalink

1 month passes...

Secrets behind Hugh Jackman's body and Anne Hathaway's rotting prostitute's teeth revealed in a new Les Miserables featurette

before and after broscience (goole), Monday, 10 December 2012 15:25 (1 year ago) Permalink

2 months pass...
2 months pass...

congo nattefrost (DJ Mencap), Friday, 10 May 2013 13:18 (1 year ago) Permalink

sorry for hueg but truthbombs only come in one size folks

congo nattefrost (DJ Mencap), Friday, 10 May 2013 13:18 (1 year ago) Permalink

3 months pass...

millmeister, Wednesday, 21 August 2013 11:40 (11 months ago) Permalink

glad that guy's here to mansplain things

Neil S, Wednesday, 21 August 2013 11:40 (11 months ago) Permalink

JOHN WHARTON, A Hell Of His Own Making

the husbster (self-professed octopus expert) (stevie), Wednesday, 21 August 2013 11:52 (11 months ago) Permalink

10/1 on that's a cambridge undergraduate being "funny"

caek, Wednesday, 21 August 2013 16:18 (11 months ago) Permalink

Nilmar Honorato da Silva, Saturday, 24 August 2013 00:23 (11 months ago) Permalink

the arpeggio as will and idea (Noodle Vague), Monday, 26 August 2013 11:46 (10 months ago) Permalink

I mean, I symapathise with the woman who got mauled obviously, but isn't this sort of what you would expect would happen when you're offered the chance to pet a Tiger?

platonic beanie (Eight Model Play), Saturday, 31 August 2013 09:26 (10 months ago) Permalink

The University College London student wants to warn others of the dangers of approaching the orphaned tigers, which are hand-reared by Buddhist monks at the controversial sanctuary.

Who needs warning about this?

platonic beanie (Eight Model Play), Saturday, 31 August 2013 09:30 (10 months ago) Permalink

University College London students it would seem

Tommy McTommy (Tom D.), Saturday, 31 August 2013 09:31 (10 months ago) Permalink

http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/bf3e2acc56/katt-williams-tigers

all the youtubes of this are blocked :(

many a slip 'twixt Yow and Yip (DJ Mencap), Saturday, 31 August 2013 09:38 (10 months ago) Permalink

i'm sure the Mail's coverage wd be the same if this was some 40-something grizzled hippy dude

RAWK of Agger's (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 31 August 2013 10:02 (10 months ago) Permalink

srsly tho, i love the underlying "I was on holiday, what could possibly be dangerous?" vibe to stories like this

RAWK of Agger's (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 31 August 2013 10:03 (10 months ago) Permalink

Can't get over the way she basically says 'at first I was worried that petting a tiger might be dangerous, but then the people who were making money by getting people to pet the tigers said it was totally safe, so I thought it must be OK'.

One good song and every is like 'Ooh Robin Thicke'... (Eight Model Play), Saturday, 31 August 2013 11:14 (10 months ago) Permalink

And then goes on to detail how she was surprised when the tiger attacked her because she had followed all of the instructions the staff gave her about not wearing bright colours that could freak out the tigers, only touching the tigers in a certain way, not wearing any dangling jewellery etc, and none these instructions lead her to wonder if the tigers were maybe not as safe as the staff were making out.

One good song and every is like 'Ooh Robin Thicke'... (Eight Model Play), Saturday, 31 August 2013 11:15 (10 months ago) Permalink

I feel bad laughing about stuff like this though, because I do equally stupid stuff approx once every 3 hours, but the stupid stuff I do doesn't involve tigers so is generally less high stakes.

One good song and every is like 'Ooh Robin Thicke'... (Eight Model Play), Saturday, 31 August 2013 11:18 (10 months ago) Permalink

i wd happily laugh at myself and expect others to join in if i got mauled by a tiger at the tiger petting monastery

RAWK of Agger's (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 31 August 2013 11:21 (10 months ago) Permalink

My brother had one of those Darwin Awards books, but I can't look at stuff like that, it makes me cringe so much. I'm pretty sure it's only the fact I hardly ever leave the house that has saved me from dying in one of these kind of incidents 100 times over.
When people laugh at stuff like the Darwin Awards do you think it is some kind of laughter of relief, like people know it could have been them and are glad it wasn't, or is it a more straight-forward 'lol, look at these morons who are dumber than me and dead' type thing?

One good song and every is like 'Ooh Robin Thicke'... (Eight Model Play), Saturday, 31 August 2013 11:27 (10 months ago) Permalink

This is a particularly brilliant/awful example:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Garry_Hoy

Human rights my "backside"!!!! (Eight Model Play), Saturday, 31 August 2013 11:30 (10 months ago) Permalink

the Garry Hoy is so amazingly fucked up and horrible that for years i wanted to believe it was just an urban myth. tbh i have no worries that i'd ever do stupid shit of that ilk.

RAWK of Agger's (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 31 August 2013 11:32 (10 months ago) Permalink

The fact he was correct the glass wouldn't break, but the whole window came lose from the frame is what pushes it to next level horrible/haunting, I think. Sounds so much like something from a sitcom or movie.
I think I find this kind of stuff troubling because it's all vaguely reminiscent of embarrassing moments from my past, but only with someone literally dying at the end rather than just being humiliated. It's like reliving some dreadful memory in a nightmare, but your brain turns your social death into literal death.

Human rights my "backside"!!!! (Eight Model Play), Saturday, 31 August 2013 11:37 (10 months ago) Permalink

horribly sure i've said this before - i have an idea for a short story about a support group for the families of people whose deaths are so stupid that they never elicit sympathy for the bereaved

RAWK of Agger's (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 31 August 2013 11:40 (10 months ago) Permalink


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