Let's Win the New Yorker Caption Contest

"Thinking of baseball just makes it worse!"

"I pack myself."

i.....i gotta pee

"i TOLD you to wait an hour"

― "in this super-sexy postracial age" (forksclovetofu)

This one from last week was better than any of the official finalists

A one-off: This one is closed but:

http://www.newyorker.com/images/2012/05/07/g290/120507_contest_g290.jpg

now, if they allowed odds on which will get the majority vote:

Your Vote
1) "He's the advertising executive. Let him come up with a caption."
2) "Take the commission, hon, and you can paint full time."
3) "What kind of Neanderthal uses vodka instead of gin?"

.. yeah, go meta and win!

meanwhile...

http://www.newyorker.com/images/2012/05/21/p465/120521_contest_p465.jpg

"Ever HBO cancelled Luck because of racehorses dying on set, things have really changed here at the track!!!!!"

Ever SINCE

there was always a rush to be first to the grill on 'bring your own fetish kebab' night

"horse racing was so much easier before the mafia got involved."

"It's kicking in."

is the stick horse talking? That's weird.

yeah the horse talking makes it almost inscrutable. i'd go non sequitur:
"Giddyap!"

"I should have quit while I was a head!!!!"

or "I think I'll quit as I'm a head" but yeah.

This contest is basically the NY'er's rejected cartoon depot, isn't it.

neigh!

you two see if you can find some body, i'll go on a head

yukky puns kind of don't fit the NYer's style. I think I said that upthread.

Let's win the National Review Caption Contest:

"These PETA idiots ruin EVERYTHING!"

"The best part is him whipping himself for a change."

all day i can't turn round without being bothered by some horses's ass, but the one time i need one....

ah! got it:
"Well somebody certainly doped ONE of us."

"he's dying to win so he can be put out to stud."

damn poles coming over here and takin our jobs

lol darragh

http://www.newyorker.com/images/2012/05/28/p465/120528_contest_p465.jpg

If "The Monkeys You Ordered" website doesn't have "THAT'S TED" as a caption, I will want to know why!

"This is normal."

"In summation, not all ideas are worth having. Thank you."

"So I had a TWO billion dollar idea -- iSpanx"

New Yorker-y unfunny style: "And that's the wrong slide."

"J'ACCUSE!"

^winner

"here is the cartoon and caption i submitted to the new yorker. they ... did not accept it."

"I think we've all learned something here today."

"observe how remarkably flexible my neck is."

"This concludes the sissymanwhore presentation. Any questions?"

oh, just got one:
"Admittedly, we still have some kinks to work out of the presentation."

another not-funny image

"More like TEDDY Talk, amirite"

"more like ASSCHEEKS worth spreading, amirite"

"And now I will explain how to tie a corset."

I've noticed that the contest ones are almost always "Look at this outrageous juxtaposition!" in a way that kind of precludes any actually funny captions.

forks that is a winning caption

half of the people who look at this will have no idea what TED is, which is a bummer, because it precludes all TEDxxx genre captions

"...and he's the bad twin"

"Father, Ted"

"You don't know what pain is!"

IRL LOL

"Wilkommen, bienvenue, welcome!"