Phrases you hate...

aero, when I hate believe me I do it.

academic version of the overdone 'Portrait of the X as a Y' thing is '______ and its Discontents'.

^^^ yes

"prose stylist"/"prose stylings"

"she'll break a lot of hearts someday"

I pretty much interpret it as, "your daughter is so pretty, men will soon be weeping over her, fighting over her, probably even killing themselves over her, so you'd better get used to it." blecch.

why not interpret it as, "she'll be a successful but somewhat butter-fingered cardiac surgeon"? i guess it's still a back-handed compliment.

or work in a glass factory making heart-shaped glass ornaments

or 'she'll be a good card player, eventually'

"she'll break a lot of balls, some day"

"her relationships in later life will be unfulfilling and disappointing because of her superficial beauty and the unrealistic expectations placed upon her by admirers"

"she will eat many artichokes"

haha remy

"her relationships in later life will be unfulfilling and disappointing because of her superficial beauty and the unrealistic expectations placed upon her by admirers"

exactly. I guess I'm butthurt at the implication that it's a girl's destiny to be a passive, unintentional influence on guys' feelings, but it's more the idea than the wording that annoys me. "she'll break a lot of sharts someday" would be almost liberating by comparison.

(there's nothing passive or prissy about a shart)

I hate "God don't like ugly" or citing "karma" when something happens to someone the speaker doesn't like/thinks deserves it.

a little googling suggests that the "break a lot of hearts" line is mostly used on ugly babies (even boys), so maybe the subtext is more like, "nope, no major deformities here. at least this chubby shit won't grow up to be a freak, might even get married someday."

Calling things or processes "sexy" in corporate speak really annoys me. Seems to happen more and more.

Paraphrase from a recent conference:
"Green jobs and sustainability have become very sexy topics this year..."

or

"The hard work behind [whatever project] may not be sexy, but it's necessary..."

Devalues actual sexy things!

^yeah

also refering to non-food things as 'tasty'

xpost

what about when the phrase "sexed up" is applied to cooking, like, "I sexed up the chowder by sauteing the onions in bacon fat"? ewwwwww.

yeah there will be no sexing up of foodstuffs plz

the bacon fat is already gross enough even without being "sexed up"

Massively overused joke construct, particularly on Twitter:

"That awkward moment when [X...]"

yes

Mostly from other message boards:

"Am I the only one who..?/I am the only one who..."

"I am a bad person/going to Hell for saying this but..."

"Am I the only one who..?/I am the only one who..."

it seems like this is usually shorthand for "I have a slightly unpopular opinion, and only about 25% of you are gonna agree with me on this, but...[I think Isn't Anything is better than Loveless]." it doesn't annoy me much, but it's kind of a misleading conversation starter.

ilx search pulls up 60+ thread titles with the words "am I the only", so you're being tactful with your "other message boards" comment.

am i the only person who likes cold soup straight from the can?

ok so he really was the only one, what the fuck

"I'm looking at you"

Actually I never really noticed or was bothered by that on here!

It has stood out elsewhere on the internet because of the stupidity and mundaneness of what follows...people who says things like "Am I the only one who didn't like the movie Avatar?" "Am I the only woman who doesn't care about shoes?" etc. But I suppose expressing such false ideas of uniqueness are annoying regardless of how they are phrased.

Calling things or processes "sexy" in corporate speak really annoys me. Seems to happen more and more.

This was pervasive in my office around 2008. The most frequent users always sort of hesitated a bit right before and after saying it, like they felt transgressive or something.

"Sustainability is a really..." should i say it? "...sexy..." I said it! I said it! What did you think? "fundraising topic this year..."

"you gotta love ____"

invariably said about something or someone i don't even like

"no-brainer"

invariably said about an issue or decision that requires thought

"full of [cheesy/bacony/caramelized/multi-processor/etc] goodness"

"Good point, well made"

I don't normally have these feeling about phrases, but "massage the data" is something I never need to hear again.

massage (v, t) -- to manipulate? to examine? to adjust? to squeeze? to grope? to what?! i hate this usage of the word "massage."

manipulate (gently)

"massage the facts" is used a lot in law settings -- it has a winky euphemistic connotation that I don't really mind.

"legendary x" used any time more than five people have heard of someone, as in "legendary jazz tubraphonist billy eames comes to the blue hat this saturday." I mean "legendary" doesn't just mean "famous" and a lot of the people described that way aren't even famous.

I avoid it too. I sometimes use "finesse" in places that some might use some form of "massage."

xp re "massage"

"It's almost... as if..."

Stop it now ILX.

It's almost as if you got zinged on another thread.

zinged by you restating exactly what i'd just said but not understanding it and then repeating it back to me in a snarky way? yup...

"the answer depends on who you ask"

No it doesn't! You're just using that as cover for the fact that you can't distinguish a correct answer from an incorrect one.

"I come bearing gifts"

especially when it's used ironically and the "gift" is something really really unpleasant. "I come bearing gifts!" *drops a huge stack of papers on desk* / *shits on desk* / *shoots u in face*

"if you could..." statements that trail off without a consequence. "if you could take out the trash before you leave..." I guess the implied second half of the sentence is, "I'd really appreciate it," but why not just say so?

hate it when people say "because of, or perhaps in spite of..." when they mean either "because of" or "in spite of", but certainly not both.

(er, "in spite of, or perhaps because of...", I mean)

"doesn't pass the smell test"

Again through overuse.

"the next level"

I've noticed an increasing trend in customer service -- specifically in line situations -- for service people to say "May I please help the following customer?"

That just can't be right. "The following customer" implies that you're about to specify which customer you mean. It's not the same thing as "the next customer," is it?

Huh. Haven't heard that yet. Back when I was in retail, it used to bug me when my coworkers would say "Can I help who's next?"