I once had a boss, during my worst summer job, who would say "Money!" and "That's money."
― Träumerei, Saturday, 5 May 2012 14:38 (1 year ago) Permalink
"do what?" as a response to something not heard well, like "excuse me?" or "pardon?" if i wanted you to do something then maaaaybe it would make a bit of snese but it signifies inappropriate fealty & hence sounds dumb.
I don't deal nicely with mumbling and low volume. I either pretend the person hasn't spoken or I say "speak louder." Once or twice I've gone as far as "speak louder or don't speak." (Never that to my family though.)
― improvised explosive advice (WmC), Saturday, 5 May 2012 14:40 (1 year ago) Permalink
few of these bother me as spoken; most of these bother me when written. it's not colloquialized langauge, it's mostly just lazzzy
― Olivia Newton John Justen Bieberheimer Schmidt (remy bean), Saturday, 5 May 2012 14:47 (1 year ago) Permalink
xpost to self, way to come across as the biggest jackass on the planet, ughh...
― improvised explosive advice (WmC), Saturday, 5 May 2012 15:03 (1 year ago) Permalink
xp I was recently looking through some 1969-70 Esquires for work and boy did they love variations on "Portrait of the x as a y"
"Methinks" is worse than war crimes. Someone complains about this in Huxley's Crome Yellow so it was irritating people as far back as 1921.
"Hmmm" is v useful in online discourse, especially Twitter. It basically says "I completely disagree with what you just said but I don't want to be a dick about it so I'll pretend I'm giving it some thought."
― Get wolves (DL), Saturday, 5 May 2012 15:04 (1 year ago) Permalink
The same person at work who says "What say you" in emails, also says "Methinks". In emails.
― on the road to the twilight zone (doo dah), Saturday, 5 May 2012 15:05 (1 year ago) Permalink
TBF, "Hmmm" is usually kind of a passive-aggressive dick move. I doubt many people would interpret it as an indicator of a genuine pause for thoughtful reflection.
― You Don't Throw Oranges On An Escalator (Deric W. Haircare), Saturday, 5 May 2012 15:12 (1 year ago) Permalink
aero, when I hate believe me I do it.
― Exile in lolville (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Saturday, 5 May 2012 15:16 (1 year ago) Permalink
academic version of the overdone 'Portrait of the X as a Y' thing is '______ and its Discontents'.
― Merdeyeux, Saturday, 5 May 2012 15:20 (1 year ago) Permalink
^^^ yes
― Exile in lolville (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Saturday, 5 May 2012 15:22 (1 year ago) Permalink
"prose stylist"/"prose stylings"
― Scott, bass player for Tenth Avenue North (Hurting 2), Friday, 11 May 2012 22:29 (1 year ago) Permalink
"she'll break a lot of hearts someday"
I pretty much interpret it as, "your daughter is so pretty, men will soon be weeping over her, fighting over her, probably even killing themselves over her, so you'd better get used to it." blecch.
― starfish succulents (unregistered), Wednesday, 27 June 2012 17:32 (10 months ago) Permalink
why not interpret it as, "she'll be a successful but somewhat butter-fingered cardiac surgeon"? i guess it's still a back-handed compliment.
― Philip Nunez, Wednesday, 27 June 2012 17:35 (10 months ago) Permalink
or work in a glass factory making heart-shaped glass ornaments
― Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 27 June 2012 17:42 (10 months ago) Permalink
or 'she'll be a good card player, eventually'
― indian rope trick (remy bean), Wednesday, 27 June 2012 17:42 (10 months ago) Permalink
"she'll break a lot of balls, some day"
― indian rope trick (remy bean), Wednesday, 27 June 2012 17:43 (10 months ago) Permalink
"her relationships in later life will be unfulfilling and disappointing because of her superficial beauty and the unrealistic expectations placed upon her by admirers"
― Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 27 June 2012 17:50 (10 months ago) Permalink
"she will eat many artichokes"
― arby's, Wednesday, 27 June 2012 17:51 (10 months ago) Permalink
haha remy
exactly. I guess I'm butthurt at the implication that it's a girl's destiny to be a passive, unintentional influence on guys' feelings, but it's more the idea than the wording that annoys me. "she'll break a lot of sharts someday" would be almost liberating by comparison.
― starfish succulents (unregistered), Wednesday, 27 June 2012 17:55 (10 months ago) Permalink
(there's nothing passive or prissy about a shart)
― starfish succulents (unregistered), Wednesday, 27 June 2012 17:56 (10 months ago) Permalink
I hate "God don't like ugly" or citing "karma" when something happens to someone the speaker doesn't like/thinks deserves it.
― MrDasher, Wednesday, 27 June 2012 18:01 (10 months ago) Permalink
a little googling suggests that the "break a lot of hearts" line is mostly used on ugly babies (even boys), so maybe the subtext is more like, "nope, no major deformities here. at least this chubby shit won't grow up to be a freak, might even get married someday."
― starfish succulents (unregistered), Wednesday, 27 June 2012 18:05 (10 months ago) Permalink
Calling things or processes "sexy" in corporate speak really annoys me. Seems to happen more and more.
Paraphrase from a recent conference:"Green jobs and sustainability have become very sexy topics this year..."
or
"The hard work behind [whatever project] may not be sexy, but it's necessary..."
― andrew m., Wednesday, 27 June 2012 18:38 (10 months ago) Permalink
Devalues actual sexy things!
― andrew m., Wednesday, 27 June 2012 18:39 (10 months ago) Permalink
^yeah
also refering to non-food things as 'tasty'
xpost
― arby's, Wednesday, 27 June 2012 18:41 (10 months ago) Permalink
what about when the phrase "sexed up" is applied to cooking, like, "I sexed up the chowder by sauteing the onions in bacon fat"? ewwwwww.
― starfish succulents (unregistered), Wednesday, 27 June 2012 18:51 (10 months ago) Permalink
yeah there will be no sexing up of foodstuffs plz
― Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 27 June 2012 18:57 (10 months ago) Permalink
the bacon fat is already gross enough even without being "sexed up"
― Lee626, Wednesday, 27 June 2012 21:36 (10 months ago) Permalink
Massively overused joke construct, particularly on Twitter:
"That awkward moment when [X...]"
― andrew m., Thursday, 28 June 2012 16:45 (10 months ago) Permalink
yes
― Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 28 June 2012 17:28 (10 months ago) Permalink
Mostly from other message boards:
"Am I the only one who..?/I am the only one who..."
"I am a bad person/going to Hell for saying this but..."
― MrDasher, Thursday, 28 June 2012 17:52 (10 months ago) Permalink
it seems like this is usually shorthand for "I have a slightly unpopular opinion, and only about 25% of you are gonna agree with me on this, but...[I think Isn't Anything is better than Loveless]." it doesn't annoy me much, but it's kind of a misleading conversation starter.
ilx search pulls up 60+ thread titles with the words "am I the only", so you're being tactful with your "other message boards" comment.
― starfish succulents (unregistered), Saturday, 30 June 2012 02:57 (10 months ago) Permalink
am i the only person who likes cold soup straight from the can?
ok so he really was the only one, what the fuck
― starfish succulents (unregistered), Saturday, 30 June 2012 03:08 (10 months ago) Permalink
"I'm looking at you"
― coal, Saturday, 30 June 2012 05:04 (10 months ago) Permalink
Actually I never really noticed or was bothered by that on here!
It has stood out elsewhere on the internet because of the stupidity and mundaneness of what follows...people who says things like "Am I the only one who didn't like the movie Avatar?" "Am I the only woman who doesn't care about shoes?" etc. But I suppose expressing such false ideas of uniqueness are annoying regardless of how they are phrased.
― MrDasher, Saturday, 30 June 2012 05:06 (10 months ago) Permalink
This was pervasive in my office around 2008. The most frequent users always sort of hesitated a bit right before and after saying it, like they felt transgressive or something.
"Sustainability is a really..." should i say it? "...sexy..." I said it! I said it! What did you think? "fundraising topic this year..."
― goat news for people who love boat news (how's life), Saturday, 30 June 2012 16:03 (10 months ago) Permalink
"you gotta love ____"
invariably said about something or someone i don't even like
― (REAL NAME) (m coleman), Saturday, 30 June 2012 16:13 (10 months ago) Permalink
"no-brainer"
invariably said about an issue or decision that requires thought
― (REAL NAME) (m coleman), Saturday, 30 June 2012 16:15 (10 months ago) Permalink
"full of [cheesy/bacony/caramelized/multi-processor/etc] goodness"
― funny-skrillex-bee_132455836669.gif (s1ocki), Saturday, 30 June 2012 16:29 (10 months ago) Permalink
"Good point, well made"
― owenf, Saturday, 30 June 2012 17:26 (10 months ago) Permalink
I don't normally have these feeling about phrases, but "massage the data" is something I never need to hear again.
massage (v, t) -- to manipulate? to examine? to adjust? to squeeze? to grope? to what?! i hate this usage of the word "massage."
― nicest bitch of poster (La Lechera), Friday, 20 July 2012 13:46 (10 months ago) Permalink
manipulate (gently)
― Je55e, Friday, 20 July 2012 20:26 (10 months ago) Permalink
"massage the facts" is used a lot in law settings -- it has a winky euphemistic connotation that I don't really mind.
― Will Chave (Hurting 2), Friday, 20 July 2012 20:28 (10 months ago) Permalink
"legendary x" used any time more than five people have heard of someone, as in "legendary jazz tubraphonist billy eames comes to the blue hat this saturday." I mean "legendary" doesn't just mean "famous" and a lot of the people described that way aren't even famous.
― Will Chave (Hurting 2), Friday, 20 July 2012 20:33 (10 months ago) Permalink
I avoid it too. I sometimes use "finesse" in places that some might use some form of "massage."
xp re "massage"
― Je55e, Friday, 20 July 2012 20:36 (10 months ago) Permalink
"It's almost... as if..."
Stop it now ILX.
― This Is... The Police (dog latin), Friday, 31 August 2012 14:11 (8 months ago) Permalink
It's almost as if you got zinged on another thread.
― Know how Roo feel (LocalGarda), Friday, 31 August 2012 14:14 (8 months ago) Permalink
zinged by you restating exactly what i'd just said but not understanding it and then repeating it back to me in a snarky way? yup...
― This Is... The Police (dog latin), Friday, 31 August 2012 14:21 (8 months ago) Permalink
"the answer depends on who you ask"
No it doesn't! You're just using that as cover for the fact that you can't distinguish a correct answer from an incorrect one.
― look at this quarterstaff (Hurting 2), Friday, 14 September 2012 05:24 (8 months ago) Permalink
"I come bearing gifts"
especially when it's used ironically and the "gift" is something really really unpleasant. "I come bearing gifts!" *drops a huge stack of papers on desk* / *shits on desk* / *shoots u in face*
― crütis what we aim for (unregistered), Friday, 14 September 2012 13:34 (8 months ago) Permalink