Battleship...the movie

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Battleshart vs Giant Octopus

Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 2 May 2012 20:57 (1 year ago) Permalink

looool

Universal Studios claims its new big budget movie "Battleship" is in jeopardy -- all thanks to a low budget straight-to-DVD knockoff that's coming out

This is what the business world calls "managing expectations."

i love the large auns pictures! (Phil D.), Thursday, 3 May 2012 12:07 (1 year ago) Permalink

this piece of shit was in jeopardy when they were doing reshoots for like 2 years

wolves in our wounds (mayor jingleberries), Thursday, 3 May 2012 16:45 (1 year ago) Permalink

hey guys this movie looks really bad!

goole, Thursday, 3 May 2012 17:05 (1 year ago) Permalink

I don't have much use for this generally cretinous blogger, but he's upset.

I could call it stunningly idiotic alien-invader CG sludge for gamers but what's the point? What it is, boiled down, is yet another metaphor for the decline of civilization as it was once known and nourished by the likes of Norman Mailer, Anne Bancroft, Ernst Lubitsch, Jean Seberg, Gunter Grass, Bernardo Bertolucci, Jean Genet, Rainer Werner Fassbinder, William S. Burroughs, Francis Coppola, Sting, Gary Cooper and Jerry Lewis, et. al. Damn the ComicCon-ers for movies like this. Damn them all to hell.

If Battleship is a state-of-the-art 2012 Hollywood popcorn movie then kill me now. Stab me in the chest with a screwdriver.

http://hollywood-elsewhere.com/2012/05/alien_flotsam.php

Chuckled at "Sting."

World Congress of Itch (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 9 May 2012 15:44 (1 year ago) Permalink

He meant Sting in Dune.

Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 9 May 2012 15:47 (1 year ago) Permalink

I'll gladly stab him in the chest with a screwdriver. Nothing to do with hating on Battleship, mind.

Fas Ro Duh (Gukbe), Wednesday, 9 May 2012 16:13 (1 year ago) Permalink

get in line

World Congress of Itch (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 9 May 2012 16:14 (1 year ago) Permalink

I can feel the spittle spray from here

Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 9 May 2012 16:16 (1 year ago) Permalink

Battleship is obviously a popcorn movie, made in hollywood, released in 2012, with state-of-the-art effects. Dude really wants to get stabbed.

He's sick of the Swiss. He don't like em. (Austerity Ponies), Wednesday, 9 May 2012 17:39 (1 year ago) Permalink

He was hoping for a Das Boot sequel, y'see.

Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 9 May 2012 17:52 (1 year ago) Permalink

would you rather see 2 das 2 booteous or das boot: tokyo drift?

Philip Nunez, Wednesday, 9 May 2012 18:12 (1 year ago) Permalink

I heard The Das Boot Rises is the darkest one of all.

Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 9 May 2012 18:15 (1 year ago) Permalink

Das Booty Call

Scott, bass player for Tenth Avenue North (Hurting 2), Wednesday, 9 May 2012 18:20 (1 year ago) Permalink

i dunno if i'm even pronouncing it right but jurgen prochnow is a very satisfying name to say on any occasion.
rafe finnes who i always confuse with liam neeson is a very unsatisfying name to say.

so yes, dude is justified in preferring live free or das boot to battleship

Philip Nunez, Wednesday, 9 May 2012 18:22 (1 year ago) Permalink

this was a quality comment:

I dabble in languages and translated Jeff's comments into German then ran them back through Google translate.

Interestingly, they came back as "Who if I cried about BATTLESHIP would hear me among the angelic orders, for BATTLESHIP is only the beginning of a terror I can barely endure."

World Congress of Itch (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 9 May 2012 18:25 (1 year ago) Permalink

lol

He's sick of the Swiss. He don't like em. (Austerity Ponies), Wednesday, 9 May 2012 18:28 (1 year ago) Permalink

Michel Gondry/Charlie Kaufman present Tweetleship
― Ned Raggett, Friday, April 6, 2012 9:02 PM

underrated post

(Name Withheld to Avoid Hassle) (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 9 May 2012 18:36 (1 year ago) Permalink

still cracks me up

Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 9 May 2012 18:50 (1 year ago) Permalink

Rainer Werner Fassbinder, William S. Burroughs, Francis Coppola

DavidM, Wednesday, 9 May 2012 19:14 (1 year ago) Permalink

Had no idea I should be holding Hollywood films up against a list of The History of Western Literature & Filmmaking 101 Required Summer Reading and/or Viewing.

Also, where does all the Rihanna hate come from? She's just a Barbadian goddess tryin' to make it in this crazy world.

Emperor Cos Dashit (Adam Bruneau), Wednesday, 9 May 2012 19:36 (1 year ago) Permalink

I think Wells was just writing a "We Didn't Start the Fire" sequel

World Congress of Itch (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 9 May 2012 19:38 (1 year ago) Permalink

Boggle! The Story of Boggle

fishermen are coveted by whores & stoners (Pillbox), Wednesday, 9 May 2012 19:53 (1 year ago) Permalink

Dare I make this joke:

Das Boot 2: Eletrik Boot-a-loo

Scott, bass player for Tenth Avenue North (Hurting 2), Wednesday, 9 May 2012 20:04 (1 year ago) Permalink

(Elektrik)

Scott, bass player for Tenth Avenue North (Hurting 2), Wednesday, 9 May 2012 20:04 (1 year ago) Permalink

Vini Reilly Invasion (Elvis Telecom), Tuesday, 15 May 2012 01:18 (1 year ago) Permalink

Ha, the other day me and my brother were talking about how shit like Battleship makes it feel like we're closer than ever to Coupon: The Movie

bark ruffalo (latebloomer), Tuesday, 15 May 2012 01:37 (1 year ago) Permalink

I saw the shit out of it!

wolves in our wounds (mayor jingleberries), Tuesday, 15 May 2012 05:39 (1 year ago) Permalink

If they did manage to make a Hungry Hungry Hippos movie, though, I would see it.

bark ruffalo (latebloomer), Tuesday, 15 May 2012 05:59 (1 year ago) Permalink

Only if the hippos are something more like Brick Top's pigs in Snatch

Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 15 May 2012 06:08 (1 year ago) Permalink

Just occured to me that what the hell is Liam Neeson doing in the U. S. Navy?

Also occured to me that "TRANSFORMERS + Neeson speechifying" is a really good selling point.

I serve at the pleasure of Dr. Dre and a team of Sorbonne scientists. (R Baez), Thursday, 17 May 2012 02:35 (1 year ago) Permalink

Neeson is more American now than anything. Didn't you see Taken, where he donned the stars and stripes to shoot the shit out of foreigners?

Fas Ro Duh (Gukbe), Thursday, 17 May 2012 04:07 (1 year ago) Permalink

i think the citizenship test is now just doing the "i have a particular set of skills" monologue

goole, Thursday, 17 May 2012 04:55 (1 year ago) Permalink

lol

bark ruffalo (latebloomer), Thursday, 17 May 2012 04:56 (1 year ago) Permalink

lool so apparently I'm seeing this tomorrow for a work outing.

Boy o boy I'm so excited to see Tim Riggins Joins The Navy, Fights Transformers

Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 17 May 2012 22:16 (1 year ago) Permalink

The only reviewer that matters (aka Rick Juzwiak, the man who helped codify Punisher: War Zone as the slice of genius it is) takes it on:

http://gawker.com/5911532/battleshit

Ned Raggett, Friday, 18 May 2012 20:28 (1 year ago) Permalink

Rich Lawson's opinion carries more weight with me and he liked it.

polyphonic, Friday, 18 May 2012 20:30 (1 year ago) Permalink

He would.

Respectfully, Tyrese Gibson (Nicole), Friday, 18 May 2012 20:53 (1 year ago) Permalink

Um...so I saw it this afternoon and I actually kinda dug it.

....

I know. I'm still working through the realization, lol.

It kinda felt like, Sunday afternoon tv movie rerun, like watching Independence Day or something and just laughing your ass off at the sheer ridiculousness and fun of it all. It was weird.

No matter how much I eyerolled through the lead up, the stuff with the USS Missouri in the final climax was really fucking cool. I swear. I couldn't help myself. I had to grin like an idiot.
It totally tapped in to the silly war movie thing without being all 'MURICA FUCK YEAH, totally tapped into the Navy thing without being a recruitment movie... they even use a Gulf War vet amputee as a landlubber hero in a sidebar story and it's a little corny but...I dug it.

It was over the top and it knew it, is what I think it was.

I would have hated it if like, Bay had made it. But Berg just seemed to have fun with it. Didn't take it too seriously, didn't make me watch ten thousand hours of indecipherable giant robot battles...and they did some cheesy shit with working the game into the movie that was kinda funny. And I got my wish: Plemmons and Kitsch pretty much acted out "Landry and Tim Riggins Join The Navy" in almost exact versions of their characters in Friday Night Lights.

I give it 3 out of 5 navy jet flyovers :D Good dumb fun.

Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Saturday, 19 May 2012 03:55 (1 year ago) Permalink

plz tell us you snuck 40'z into the screening

Choad of Choad Hall (kingfish), Saturday, 19 May 2012 04:12 (1 year ago) Permalink

no alcohol involved

But it would be funny as hell drunk

Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Saturday, 19 May 2012 04:59 (1 year ago) Permalink


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