Chicago MMXII

http://thedoughnutvault.tumblr.com/

Here is a tweet that I like to think about sometimes because it makes me think of jaymc. It is by twitter user @charMANdork:

"it is 2024. you wake up one morning and scream 'HOLY SHIT' your flip your desk 'I FORGOT ABOUT DRE'"

(sic)

This is I think my favorite tweet of all time, from now suspended user @FoodNetwerk:

"Spook the HECK out of your guests this Halloween by putting dry ice into a bowl of water & then cutting your own head off and fucking it."

So ends the summary of My Time on Twitter, Jan. 2012 through April 2012.

I just made a couple of good tweets.

I don't know why I don't have like 8,000 followers.

And a book of my tweets in the bathroom books section of Barnes & Nobles everywhere.

I love Food Netwerk's tweets, including the one ca quoted.

I wish I were into Twitter b/c it can be fun to read when funny people are writing, but for regular folks' writing, it feels like FB posts whittled down to their most mundane ("Why can't I find my sock?"). And I don't like the way replies and conversations work.

Twitter's my bread and butter.

Yeh, it's good for marketing, obviously. But I don't like it for friend time.

It's better for friend time if you make the friends there instead of trying to interact with current ones.

I can't even imagine how that would work. Literally.

Just mingle.

i gave up on twitter
as it turns out, i have nothing i care to share

most of my tweeting is soccer shit, it's better that way

Most of my tweeting is RTs of absurd shit or political shit.
Then tweets about public transportation.
Then tweets about Star Trek.

Jeff was singing "Stacy's Mom" this morning and now it's in my head, but it's a mash-up of Stacy's Mom and the Nationwide jingle so it goes:

Stacy's mom has got it going on
Sta-cy's mom.

I also always mash up "Hips Don't Lie" and "All Night Long" so it goes:

Laaaaa la la a (I don't know the lyrics)
My hips don't lie
and I'm starting to feel it now (see above)
We're going to
party, La Bamba, fiesta forever
come on and sing along

Haha who is Stacy?

The Halsted St bridge on my commute is open! Yay! But we're still taking the detour bc the bus driver is not authorized to take the bridge! Boo!

Attn je55e: Lasix Groupon today.

Attn je55e: you should tell people this is your store:
http://www.jessechicago.com/

Happy worker's day, Chicago!

what are you wearing to the haymarket reenactment? sexy coal worker? sexy triangle shirtwaist factory worker? Imagine.

Imagine flat-front slacks and a crisp shirt. I'm dressed as the oppressor, I guess.

Thx E-Zed, but not today.

This detour has been nice for Groupon employees. The year long bus reroute created a stop directly in front of their door.

That reminds me Have you guys noticed that some big buildings have shuttle service for workers in that building? Groupon's building has that to and from the Metra, and the Blue Cross bulldog has some too. Pretty cool.

Xps - I'm wearing the invisible hand of capitalism on my shoulders and wrinkles on my brown.

Will check out. But now I work.

wrinkles on my brown

Yeah, that's not special.

I'm wearing a red shirt! And working!

i read that as "red silky shirt" and was like hmmmmm and you think you know a person...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hK_G52W99Eg&feature=related

in case anyone needs to hear robert wyatt singing a brazilian bossa nova standard (insensatez)

http://www.independentaustralia.net/Wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/8-hour-day.jpg

lol "brown"

Jesse Chicago is OK. How did you find that site, EZ?

We've been watching Star Trek: TOS* and I think I'm subconsciously dressing like Star Trek space babes as a result (today - long blue striped dress, electric blue eye makeup, slight bump-it-esque elevation to my hair).

*This show is so fucking sexist it is almost no fun to watch. I keep hoping it gets a little less awful, and then Kirk will fight with a clone of himself (this happens like every third episode), and that is always hilarious and I think, "Okay, I can keep watching this." Then the next episode involves yet another plot about a woman who appears beautiful but is actually OLD and UGLY (read: they omit the eye make up, pop a plain wig on her, and make her look roughly my age), and is FOOLING men into popping BONERS for her which is a CRIME in SPACE FUTURE. Ma'am you are charged with four counts of CAUSING BONERS UNDER FALSE PRETENSES. We sentence you to looking 40 years old.

In summary: Star Trek: TOS: mad sexist, but space babes are mad stylish.

J: I saw a full-page ad when reading CS Interiors on a bus-ride home at midnight last night, and it made me laugh and envy you for having your own logo.

Ma'am you are charged with four counts of CAUSING BONERS UNDER FALSE PRETENSES. We sentence you to looking 40 years old.
Four! Wow.

Four. Kirk, Bones, Scotty, Red Shirt (as a half-Vulcan (hahahaha typed "Vulvan") Spock can control his boners).

on may day even star trek red shirts get to live

vulcans totally can't control their boners tho, as shown in TOS episode "amok time": "Seemingly embarrassed, Spock informs Kirk that his condition is called Pon farr, a syndrome that all Vulcan males painfully endure periodically throughout their adult life.[note 1] During this time, they must mate or die."

Yeah, but Pon farr is cyclical. In every day life, they can control their boners. In "Mudd's Women" one of, um, Mudd's women tries to rub up on Spock and he's just like :| and she comments on his self-control.

Meanwhile Bones is all

http://www.belardinelli.it/images/fumetti/avery_tex_wolf.jpg

so that's why they call him bones

workers, boners, star trek, i <3 u chicago thread

hey this is a reminder about saturday -- if you are not on facebook please contact me for deets

I saved part of a donut from yesterday for a treat for myself today and when I turned my back, the dog licked it. I heard her lick it. But I can't be mad at her b/c she looked so contrite and pitiful.

Did you eat it anyway?

Jesse's soul donut
Do not lick

HA! I got that.

"Don't pick at it!"

"But I'm so sweet and tasty!"

i like twitter because i keep it separate from everything else and don't have my real name/info attached in any way and i just use it to act the fool. i follow friends but my favorite tweets come from comedians or just randos who happen to be funny. it's like getting a bunch of one-liners all day long.

I like following Twitter, but I don't feel like I can jump in as a contributor.

I gave the dog the bit that she licked and ate the rest b/c it was a peanut butter and jelly donut and as such, it was very important.

IDG the soul donut joke.

So they are doing foundation work or something at the site next door and we're back to having our entire building vibrating from 7:00 until 5:30. And not just minor, hardly noticable vibrating, like spilling water out of cups and moving things across the desks, jarring vibrating. Starting to get quite annoying.

let's try to keep this thread at the top of SNA

with vibrant, intelligent conversation

befitting of our world class city

this chicago that i love so

Okay.

I had Taco Bell for lunch and those Dorito shell tacos really stink up the place. Think about that. A smell funky enough to outfunk the regular small of Taco Bell.