Chicago MMXII

http://www.suntimes.com/news/metro/11751201-418/the-chicago-areas-20-most-dangerous-intersections.html

Surprised at #1, that's not far from my work. It sucks, but I wouldn't have guessed it's tops.

I would do LASIK with a Groupon if it were at a place where I would normally pay full price. Why not?

It was my understanding that they give you Valium or whatever. Not like twilight, but a calming agent. I would not let anyone use a speculum to hold my eye open and then CUT OPEN A FLAP OF MY CORNEA and then shoot lasers at my eye without some sedative. No fucking way.

xps

Nick, that sounds fun.

The only one of those intersections that I ever have to deal with is Roosevelt & Canal, which is pretty congested, but I'm still surprised it's so high.

I never deal with any of those intersections, thankfully, bc all three street intersections make me anxious anyway so I would probably have a heart attack of I had to deal with any on that list.

Seems like a lot of them are adjacent to freeways.

Also only took four comments for someone to propose a straight racist reason for the high rate of accidents at these intersections.

Listening to Beethoven's greatest hits (well, a selected works comp) on headphones really helps ease the pain of my work environment. But then I'm antsy that somebody is behind me and I can't hear them.

I don't have to deal with any of those intersections now, thankfully, but I used to have to drive through that Waukegan Road/Willow one all the time and it was such a nightmare.

I bought donuts at the new donut shop that carl a. posted about. It's called Do-Rite Donuts and the donuts are ENORMOUS. Is the "Do" in "Do-Rite" supposed to rhyme with the "do" in "donuts"??

I ate a donut for lunch.

What kind?

Carrot cake. It was very good. I also tasted a buttermilk donut. It was a little too greasy and crunchy for my liking.

I had a carrot cake doughnut once and it was okay. Buttermilk/old fashioned are my favorite kinds of doughnuts in general (after that French crullers and after that glazed) so I liked the one that Do-Rite (all day doughnut).

someday i'm going to go to dougnut vault on my way into work. i don't even really like doughnuts that much but i am curious.

vault?

the man at the counter was handsome and he laughed at (with) my donut decisions

Were they playing Jay Z?

nah

idk

http://thedoughnutvault.tumblr.com/

Here is a tweet that I like to think about sometimes because it makes me think of jaymc. It is by twitter user @charMANdork:

"it is 2024. you wake up one morning and scream 'HOLY SHIT' your flip your desk 'I FORGOT ABOUT DRE'"

(sic)

This is I think my favorite tweet of all time, from now suspended user @FoodNetwerk:

"Spook the HECK out of your guests this Halloween by putting dry ice into a bowl of water & then cutting your own head off and fucking it."

So ends the summary of My Time on Twitter, Jan. 2012 through April 2012.

I just made a couple of good tweets.

I don't know why I don't have like 8,000 followers.

And a book of my tweets in the bathroom books section of Barnes & Nobles everywhere.

I love Food Netwerk's tweets, including the one ca quoted.

I wish I were into Twitter b/c it can be fun to read when funny people are writing, but for regular folks' writing, it feels like FB posts whittled down to their most mundane ("Why can't I find my sock?"). And I don't like the way replies and conversations work.

Twitter's my bread and butter.

Yeh, it's good for marketing, obviously. But I don't like it for friend time.

It's better for friend time if you make the friends there instead of trying to interact with current ones.

I can't even imagine how that would work. Literally.

Just mingle.

i gave up on twitter
as it turns out, i have nothing i care to share

most of my tweeting is soccer shit, it's better that way

Most of my tweeting is RTs of absurd shit or political shit.
Then tweets about public transportation.
Then tweets about Star Trek.

Jeff was singing "Stacy's Mom" this morning and now it's in my head, but it's a mash-up of Stacy's Mom and the Nationwide jingle so it goes:

Stacy's mom has got it going on
Sta-cy's mom.

I also always mash up "Hips Don't Lie" and "All Night Long" so it goes:

Laaaaa la la a (I don't know the lyrics)
My hips don't lie
and I'm starting to feel it now (see above)
We're going to
party, La Bamba, fiesta forever
come on and sing along

Haha who is Stacy?

The Halsted St bridge on my commute is open! Yay! But we're still taking the detour bc the bus driver is not authorized to take the bridge! Boo!

Attn je55e: Lasix Groupon today.

Attn je55e: you should tell people this is your store:
http://www.jessechicago.com/

Happy worker's day, Chicago!

what are you wearing to the haymarket reenactment? sexy coal worker? sexy triangle shirtwaist factory worker? Imagine.

Imagine flat-front slacks and a crisp shirt. I'm dressed as the oppressor, I guess.

Thx E-Zed, but not today.

This detour has been nice for Groupon employees. The year long bus reroute created a stop directly in front of their door.

That reminds me Have you guys noticed that some big buildings have shuttle service for workers in that building? Groupon's building has that to and from the Metra, and the Blue Cross bulldog has some too. Pretty cool.

Xps - I'm wearing the invisible hand of capitalism on my shoulders and wrinkles on my brown.

Will check out. But now I work.

wrinkles on my brown

Yeah, that's not special.

I'm wearing a red shirt! And working!

i read that as "red silky shirt" and was like hmmmmm and you think you know a person...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hK_G52W99Eg&feature=related

in case anyone needs to hear robert wyatt singing a brazilian bossa nova standard (insensatez)

http://www.independentaustralia.net/Wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/8-hour-day.jpg

lol "brown"

Jesse Chicago is OK. How did you find that site, EZ?

We've been watching Star Trek: TOS* and I think I'm subconsciously dressing like Star Trek space babes as a result (today - long blue striped dress, electric blue eye makeup, slight bump-it-esque elevation to my hair).

*This show is so fucking sexist it is almost no fun to watch. I keep hoping it gets a little less awful, and then Kirk will fight with a clone of himself (this happens like every third episode), and that is always hilarious and I think, "Okay, I can keep watching this." Then the next episode involves yet another plot about a woman who appears beautiful but is actually OLD and UGLY (read: they omit the eye make up, pop a plain wig on her, and make her look roughly my age), and is FOOLING men into popping BONERS for her which is a CRIME in SPACE FUTURE. Ma'am you are charged with four counts of CAUSING BONERS UNDER FALSE PRETENSES. We sentence you to looking 40 years old.

In summary: Star Trek: TOS: mad sexist, but space babes are mad stylish.

J: I saw a full-page ad when reading CS Interiors on a bus-ride home at midnight last night, and it made me laugh and envy you for having your own logo.

Ma'am you are charged with four counts of CAUSING BONERS UNDER FALSE PRETENSES. We sentence you to looking 40 years old.
Four! Wow.

Four. Kirk, Bones, Scotty, Red Shirt (as a half-Vulcan (hahahaha typed "Vulvan") Spock can control his boners).