30 Things Every Woman Should Have And Should Know By The Time She's 30

this is gonna sound obvious but all these kinds of magazines tap into real concerns ppl have about who they are and how to perform gender roles in society. i'm speaking about men's magazines bc that's my personal experience, but i imagine there are similar dynamics at play in women's magazines. rather than try to open up the discourse about what it means to a man in 2012 and some of the many possible/legitimate ways to perform maleness, magazines like esquire tap into this fantasy half-cribbed from 1950s aesthetic-fetishism and half from fratboy prolonged adolescence and then sell them to ppl as the only real standard of maleness. even when the lesson is coming from the right place (cf 'treat women with respect'), it is still backed by this reactionary incoherence ('bc a strong man needs to take care of a weak woman'). i'm not surprised young ppl have latched onto 'this is how to be a man, snoball,' bc that's what is explicitly being sold and there is not enough to counter it. see also: men's movements blah, this man's blog teaches you how to live, grantland (lulz), etc.

I flicked through a copy of "Chap" magazine this lunchtime.

What's that all about, then?

That Esquire list is seriously "Traits 1-49 of people who read Esquire", also WTF at people shouldn't play fantasy sports after 30, I mean maybe "don't talk about your fantasy team like people give a shit" but seriously like 80% of the people I know who are into fantasy are 30+

My 40-something gf susbcribes to Esquire, oddly enough. I read it occasionally. I mostly skip the fashion and 'how to be a man' shit but there's occasionally a good article in it.

Magazines are largely just advertisements, anyway, just less obviously so in the 'content' so I largely ignore any advice or normative stuff as being slightly less than perfectly disinterested.

Here's a solid rebuttal: http://thoughtcatalog.com/2012/30-other-things-every-woman-should-know-by-30/

17. Be careful about confiding personal information. Relationships change.

I learned this in fifth grade! Told close friends that my parents smoke pot (which was a source of stress to me at the time) and they spent the rest of the year making fun of me for it. Kids can be assholes.

finefinemusic, I just sent you a webmail thru ilx. i don't know if you get those...

i like that thought catalog piece!

even tho i don't follow all those things. but at least i don't feel shamed for it by that piece.

18 is great advice on that one

23 is sound advice

;_: I can't read that excellent advice, it's blocked for me

the kiss thing only gets to me because it seems to imply that you shouldn't *have* to use your words, and that verbally expressing your desire (or lack thereof) needn't occur because -- uh, women need to be wily masters of non-verbal communication? by the time they're 30? idk, it just feel like it's the male-active vs female-passive thing again. women as subtle manipulators, men as sexual agents.

― zubaz fupa (elmo argonaut), Friday, April 27, 2012 10:40 AM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Yeah, I know that's how people were reading it. I think I just read it as being in addition to, not instead of, verbal communication.

Good kissing is definitely an excellent form of communication

gonna try to figure out how to communicate to my wife via kissing that we are almost out of toilet paper

That other list is great.

spesh for dan, will come out unnumbered tho

Always ask for more money at your job, even if you don’t think you deserve it.
Try to be kind to the people who are rude to you. It’s not personal, they’re just having a really bad day/month/life.
Don’t go to doctors that advertise. Ask a friend for a recommendation.
If you are hungover, drink water, eat a banana and try to sleep it off.
If you believe in opportunity, opportunity will present itself.
Sometimes when things are really bad, you just have to go through the motions of your life until they get better.
Surround yourself by only the books, images, music and people that make you happy.
Your ability to speak honestly about your weaknesses, failures and disappointments is your greatest strength.
Nothing is more fulfilling than helping other people.
There really are plenty of fish in the sea.
Wear sunscreen or a hat when you’re in strong sunlight.
You need to take the big risk, even if it scares the living crap out of you.
Sometimes water is thicker than blood.
Shoes that are too tight can be stretched by a shoemaker.
Don’t worry about living a life that looks good on paper.
Go to the gynecologist every year, even if you hate it.
Be careful about confiding personal information. Relationships change.
Go to events and parties and lectures you have no interest in going to.
Ask yourself what you want. Then take the necessary steps to get it.
Don’t stay in a bad relationship because of the anticipated misery of a breakup.
When you have a headache, drink a glass of water before you do anything else. It might just be dehydration.
Anyone worth having sex with should think that you’re gorgeous the way you are.
When people are speaking gibberish English with a bunch of unrelated words strung together they’re usually talking about a band.
Just because you’re in love doesn’t mean you’re with the right person.
You can have a fulfilling life without ever having kids.
Do what comes naturally to you, it’s what you’ll have the most success at.
Be thankful that things you wished for didn’t come true. Know that this will happen again.
Let yourself be happy when you’re happy.
Force yourself to overcome your fears.
Remember that no one else has it figured out either.

When people are speaking gibberish English with a bunch of unrelated words strung together they’re usually talking about a band.

lol ILM lurker

I hate all of these lists but I also hate being told what to do esp when I am already doing it and AM NOT LOOKING FOR LIFE ADVICE. So even though that list is fine, I hate it.

How does your garden grow? ;)

haha the funny thing is that i'm not looking for advice either - i just like seeing that other people aren't thinking/doing totally inane things with their lives all the time. and inane things some of the time. i just like to relate or at least feel connected to other people, even strangers on the internet (obv!), like this is how the world goes round, garden grows, etc.

garden's flourishing, thank u

lol b_g I have a kitten umbrella too! Very similar to that one. My MIL gave it to me and it folds up nice and small.

dumbest 30 things ever

I hate all of these lists but I also hate being told what to do esp when I am already doing it and AM NOT LOOKING FOR LIFE ADVICE. So even though that list is fine, I hate it.

I feel the same way. I don't know if it's just an adolescent bristling at anyone telling me what I should be doing, but it sets my teeth on edge.

The heart wants what the heart wants. You should know that you're 30

Got it Mordy will email back on Monday :)

tbf, "dude with a boner can't think straight" is borderline some 1950-shit

yeah, no kidding, I can't think straight even when I am NOT tumescent

Your ability to speak honestly about your weaknesses, failures and disappointments is your greatest strength.

I'm really good at this but I don't know that I would consider it a strength, necessarily...?

more like whininess amirite

crippling depression a beautiful strength

Let yourself be happy when you’re happy.

OK THIS is advice I should have heeded years ago.

I have none of these (I'm guessing an Ikea computer chair and a crappy MFI desk with ill-fitting drawers don't count for my not-handed-down furniture) and have learnt none of these but the biggest gift of my 30s is the growing realisation that I don't actually care about most of them

My Nan (RIP) gave me an umbrella with big-eyed kittens on for my 30th birthday; I thought she had just forgotten that I was not 6 any more, but this thread makes it a v. appropriate gift I guess

Worry about letting things you want to do slide without DOING THEM, you will regret it I say!!! DOnt think "I can do that later/when I have more money/when I have time". Carpe the damn diem.

I think I spent my late teens / early 20s not doing creative things because I was waiting for someone to tell me that my creative stuff was good enough to be worth taking to the ~next level~ of actually working on and showing to people, except I never showed anybody it, so how was anyone ever going to, etc etc

(and right now I am not visiting places I'd like to see because I have no money and it's hard to book time off but mainly because I'm not good at the planning related to travelling, should work on that too I guess)

31. Math is hard, let's go shopping

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

If you believe in opportunity, opportunity will present itself.

BALLS.

if you believe in pixies

and ~magic~

if you believe in unicorns, unicorns will present themselves

if you believe in BALLS

*believes furiously*

9. A résumé grocery groin that is not even the slightest bit padded.

*sound of no hands clapping*

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.