Second degree shenanigans
― suidavyvan eht nioj (Whiney G. Weingarten), Tuesday, 24 April 2012 21:09 (twelve years ago) link
What the fuck would you classify it as? Horseplay?
yes
― THE KITTEN TYPE (contenderizer), Tuesday, 24 April 2012 21:10 (twelve years ago) link
Like she needed to prepare herself if he shows up while she's shopping at Costco and grabs the zucchini right from her hand and go "I'm that n*****, aaaaaaaaah"
We looked the other way when Kanye West assaulted Taylor Swift. Here we are, America. Here we are.
― pplains, Tuesday, 24 April 2012 21:11 (twelve years ago) link
attempted japes
― suidavyvan eht nioj (Whiney G. Weingarten), Tuesday, 24 April 2012 21:12 (twelve years ago) link
aggravated tomfoolery
tbh I was too busy laughing at this being reported as SRS NEWS to get to the end of that clip, so learning that she's now terrified of this dude is kind of extra hilarious to me
I mean, obv this would end up being classified as "assault" because what else could you legally call it, but acting like this is on par with getting punched/kicked/beaten/attacked is seriously dumb and minimizes the seriousness of the actual violent crime the original report was about
― I need new, hip khakis (DJP), Tuesday, 24 April 2012 21:15 (twelve years ago) link
I wanna hear how this reporter went all Jennifer Jason Leigh-shooting-Greg Allman after all this went down.
― pplains, Tuesday, 24 April 2012 21:17 (twelve years ago) link
I can't imagine being so uptight about your shitty local news show that you would press charges against this dude
― suidavyvan eht nioj (Whiney G. Weingarten), Tuesday, 24 April 2012 21:18 (twelve years ago) link
oh I totally can, I just can't imagine trying to cast that as "zomg terrible violent crime I've been violated"
― I need new, hip khakis (DJP), Tuesday, 24 April 2012 21:19 (twelve years ago) link
Having your shit fucked with is no fun, particularly when it's in front of a large audience*, and if it includes force then yeah, that's assault. It's not grevious assault or aggravated assault, but it's the kind of thing that people can get fucked up by, and 'lol walk it off' is kind of an insufficient response.
Tho obviously yeah enormous eye-rolling at the Wire season 5ishness of "Something happened to me - pulitzer here I come!" and "Now that I am a victim I can pay attention to this support network that I would've happily ignored for the rest of my days otherwise". It does strike me that it's probably more opportunism than "And _that's_ why you should be afraid of black men! *headtilt*" but I may well be being too generous.
* really have no idea how large the audience on this was.
― Andrew Farrell, Tuesday, 24 April 2012 21:40 (twelve years ago) link
forgot to put "trigger warning" on this for Farrell I guess
― suidavyvan eht nioj (Whiney G. Weingarten), Tuesday, 24 April 2012 21:41 (twelve years ago) link
You're a trigger warning.
― Andrew Farrell, Tuesday, 24 April 2012 21:44 (twelve years ago) link
you know what would have been perfect, is if in the followup report dude had burst back in, snatched the mic and shouted "I'M STILL THAT N_____, AAAAAAAAAAAH"
― I need new, hip khakis (DJP), Tuesday, 24 April 2012 21:44 (twelve years ago) link
hahahahahaha
― suidavyvan eht nioj (Whiney G. Weingarten), Tuesday, 24 April 2012 21:45 (twelve years ago) link
loooooool
― i don't believe in zimmerman (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 24 April 2012 21:49 (twelve years ago) link
Am I the only person who thought of SNL's "Buckwheat has been shot" when they did the slow motion replay?
― i don't believe in zimmerman (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 24 April 2012 21:51 (twelve years ago) link
I am also dying at "I knew instantly that something was about to go TERRIBLY WRONG..."
also lol at the unearned back-patting over the "good police work" that managed to secure a picture of the person who jumped in front of a running video camera
― I need new, hip khakis (DJP), Tuesday, 24 April 2012 21:53 (twelve years ago) link
Channel seven reports that police have identified THAT N_____ AAAAHHHHHHH!
― i don't believe in zimmerman (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 24 April 2012 21:58 (twelve years ago) link
at the end of the day, I think we can all agree that this is Odd Future's fault
― I'M THAT POSTA, AAAAAAAAAH (DJP), Tuesday, 24 April 2012 22:02 (twelve years ago) link
hah is that an odd future meme?
― dayo, Tuesday, 24 April 2012 22:09 (twelve years ago) link
― I need new, hip khakis (DJP), Tuesday, April 24, 2012 9:15 PM (51 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
also how i feel about most "assault on a police officer" charges.
― BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Tuesday, 24 April 2012 22:13 (twelve years ago) link
it's probably like low-level misdemeanor assault or something. It's at least some level of misdemeanor in most if not all states to deliberately make any kind of unwanted contact with another person (beyond, you know, tapping them on the shoulder to ask what time it is or w/e)
― i don't believe in zimmerman (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 24 April 2012 22:18 (twelve years ago) link
not specifically that I know of, it's just that whole thing looks like it fell out of a Loiter Squad promo
― I'M THAT POSTA, AAAAAAAAAH (DJP), Tuesday, 24 April 2012 22:20 (twelve years ago) link
ashley taylor is kinda ws of shame
― i don't believe in zimmerman (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 24 April 2012 22:45 (twelve years ago) link
ok grabbing a mic from somebody is not assault
― cosi fan whitford (underrated aerosmith bootlegs I have owned), Tuesday, 24 April 2012 23:14 (twelve years ago) link
yeah it's theft
― catbus otm (gbx), Tuesday, 24 April 2012 23:14 (twelve years ago) link
no it's adultery
― dayo, Tuesday, 24 April 2012 23:15 (twelve years ago) link
This dude is guilty of second-degree lamping
― I'M THAT POSTA, AAAAAAAAAH (DJP), Tuesday, 24 April 2012 23:18 (twelve years ago) link
ahaha
― BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Tuesday, 24 April 2012 23:21 (twelve years ago) link
loool
― dayo, Tuesday, 24 April 2012 23:22 (twelve years ago) link
at some point they will be able to add a Flag Post option to reality so we won't need to arrest people over things like this
― crüt, Tuesday, 24 April 2012 23:26 (twelve years ago) link
Is it just me or was there a laser pointer dot on the police guy's shirt for a second after they flipped the camera to him at the end of him speaking? Lots of shenanigans going down.
― mh, Tuesday, 24 April 2012 23:40 (twelve years ago) link
oh my god that poor journalist how long was she in hospital for getting treated for the assault?
― aboulia banks (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 24 April 2012 23:46 (twelve years ago) link
second-degree lamping is all-time
― cosi fan whitford (underrated aerosmith bootlegs I have owned), Wednesday, 25 April 2012 00:20 (twelve years ago) link
dying
― the late great, Wednesday, 25 April 2012 00:21 (twelve years ago) link
The third report about that report would have been well worth watching.
― pplains, Wednesday, 25 April 2012 00:48 (twelve years ago) link
The slow mo like america's most wanted is what really does it for me.
― s.clover, Wednesday, 25 April 2012 05:00 (twelve years ago) link
except he couldn't because she had him arrested
― the acquisition and practice of music is unfavourable to the health of (abanana), Wednesday, 25 April 2012 07:13 (twelve years ago) link
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NtBfvjsSjag
note the name of the store that had crime in it
― the acquisition and practice of music is unfavourable to the health of (abanana), Wednesday, 25 April 2012 07:16 (twelve years ago) link
how can that be?
― THE KITTEN TYPE (contenderizer), Wednesday, 25 April 2012 07:26 (twelve years ago) link
If this were a poll, I don't know which I'd vote for: "I'm THAT N_, AAAAAHHHHH!" or Gay Dolphin.
― I wish to be DINOSAUR SOLDIER again...and for EVERY WEAPON (Austerity Ponies), Wednesday, 25 April 2012 13:17 (twelve years ago) link
I know it's 2012, but I want to see the Keyboard Cat version of this report.
― pplains, Wednesday, 25 April 2012 13:46 (twelve years ago) link
he's out on bail, as was painstakingly detailed in the "now I am a victim of a crime" portion of the report
― I'M THAT POSTA, AAAAAAAAAH (DJP), Wednesday, 25 April 2012 13:51 (twelve years ago) link
http://www.gaydolphin.com/
this store is a Thing, apparently!
― I'M THAT POSTA, AAAAAAAAAH (DJP), Wednesday, 25 April 2012 13:54 (twelve years ago) link
Dangit, Cape Fear was in North Carolina. Would've liked to see dude doing push-ups in his cell, looking at a picture of her with I'M THE NIGGHAAUUURREEEEEYAAAAAA scrawled across her face.
― pplains, Wednesday, 25 April 2012 13:55 (twelve years ago) link
Justin and Eloise also operated three of Myrtle Beach’s original guest houses: The Tuck-Em Inn, The Coast Inn and The Just Inn
― I wish to be DINOSAUR SOLDIER again...and for EVERY WEAPON (Austerity Ponies), Wednesday, 25 April 2012 14:03 (twelve years ago) link
one time my friends and I shot a TV news van with squirt guns and the cops showed up at my house not long afterwards...
― when will Jesus bring the composition chops? (loves laboured breathing), Wednesday, 25 April 2012 14:11 (twelve years ago) link
Anyone know who the drummer for Gay Dolphin was?
― i love the large auns pictures! (Phil D.), Wednesday, 25 April 2012 14:25 (twelve years ago) link
Asking for a friend btw.
― i love the large auns pictures! (Phil D.), Wednesday, 25 April 2012 14:38 (twelve years ago) link
if dude had shown up for the follow-up report it'd be chappelle sketch as real life event
― mh, Wednesday, 25 April 2012 14:38 (twelve years ago) link