Who will win the Palme at Cannes? [2012 edition]

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That's so cute you think you can play that game too.

jungleous butterflies strange birds (Eric H.), Thursday, 19 April 2012 15:18 (1 year ago) Permalink

It's not a game when you're so transparent about it....

wow, 1990-91 was Wild at Heart & Barton Fink. What an unsurpassable double-whammy of stinkshit.

World Congress of Itch (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 19 April 2012 15:19 (1 year ago) Permalink

Triple whammy:

Fahrenheit 9/11
L'enfant
The Wind That Shakes the Barley

jungleous butterflies strange birds (Eric H.), Thursday, 19 April 2012 15:20 (1 year ago) Permalink

see I've seen both Wild at Heart & Barton Fink

What is the source of your irrational hatred of unseen Loach? You don't want reality, you want magic? (apparently the Dardennes wd fit there too)

World Congress of Itch (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 19 April 2012 15:30 (1 year ago) Permalink

magic realism

nostormo, Thursday, 19 April 2012 15:40 (1 year ago) Permalink

I repost the review one of my friends wrote about Barley that effectively killed all interest [sic] I would've had in seeing it.

To everyone who liked THE WIND THAT SHAKES THE BARLEY:

OK so I've watched an hour of this thing now, and Jesus Christ is it one goddam monotonous scene after another. Is there any reason to watch the next hour?

Summary of the screenplay:

FADE IN

[Evil, rampaging English soldiers rush in with guns]

Soldier: You fucking Irish bastards!
Soldier: Get over here!
Soldier: Fucking Fenian fuckers!
Soldier: Irish scum!

[They hit innocent Irish lads in the face with guns, kill some]

FADE OUT

FADE IN

[Evil, rampaging English soldiers rush in with guns]

Soldier: What's your name you fucking Irish scum?!
Soldier: What's your name?
Irish lad: [sings a rousing traditional Gaelic song in defiance, gets shot]
Soldier: Fucking Irish fuckers!

FADE OUT

FADE IN

[Irish rebels fight back, silently kill some English soldiers, finish scene by singing rousing traditional Gaelic song in defiance, heads hung low]

FADE OUT

FADE IN

[English soldiers rush in with guns]

Soldier: Get the fuck down you fucking Irish fuckers!
Soldier: What's your name?!
Soldier: Fenian fucker!
Soldier: You bastards!

[Old Irish woman cries]

Soldier: Fucking move, you bitch! [Hits in face with gun]

[Irishmen are beaten up, English soldiers laugh menacingly]

FADE OUT

FADE IN

Repeat scene from RED DAWN when good guy turns traitor, has to get shot by another good guy, sadness. These are the true casualties of war, etc.

FADE OUT

ZOMG RINSE REPEAT, MORE MORE MORE OF THE SAME

Are you kidding Best Picture at Cannes? I liked it better when Charlie Sheen and Patrick Swayze were in it.

jungleous butterflies strange birds (Eric H.), Thursday, 19 April 2012 15:40 (1 year ago) Permalink

ugh

A Little Princess btw (s1ocki), Thursday, 19 April 2012 15:43 (1 year ago) Permalink

that review killed all my interest in something all right

A Little Princess btw (s1ocki), Thursday, 19 April 2012 15:43 (1 year ago) Permalink

Eric's friends?

World Congress of Itch (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 19 April 2012 15:48 (1 year ago) Permalink

xpost I know right?

jungleous butterflies strange birds (Eric H.), Thursday, 19 April 2012 15:48 (1 year ago) Permalink

closeminded apologists for murderous Brit imperialism?

anyway, for a filmmaker whose first Palme-winner Eric has never seen to win a second would be just the worst. Check.

World Congress of Itch (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 19 April 2012 15:58 (1 year ago) Permalink

closeminded apologists for murderous Brit imperialism?

Submit yr suggestions to the horror movie poll, plz.

jungleous butterflies strange birds (Eric H.), Thursday, 19 April 2012 16:02 (1 year ago) Permalink

oh no

nostormo, Thursday, 19 April 2012 16:36 (1 year ago) Permalink

nostormo, Thursday, 19 April 2012 16:40 (1 year ago) Permalink

"A young female student named Akiko (Rin Takanashi) works as a prostitute to pay off her univeisty fees. One of her clients is an elderly academic (Tadashi Okuno) who is fond of her. Soon a relationship develops between the two."

nostormo, Thursday, 19 April 2012 16:42 (1 year ago) Permalink

a good lawyer's wife is one of the great unsung korean films, but I still think it's weird that im sang-soo has becomes a cannes favorite

diamanda ram dass (Edward III), Thursday, 19 April 2012 16:56 (1 year ago) Permalink

I don't know much about that Reygadas film, but if it is half as good as Silent Light, then...that. I'm always hoping Leos Carax will have a resurgence one day, though

Memorial Highway (admrl), Thursday, 19 April 2012 17:00 (1 year ago) Permalink

Directors Fortnight includes the final Ruiz film:

http://mubi.com/notebook/posts/cannes-2012-directors-fortnight-lineup

World Congress of Itch (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 24 April 2012 17:22 (1 year ago) Permalink

i'd be okay with haneke if it was two hours of him slowly torturing himself with occasional fourth-wall breaks to tell us what bourgeoisie scum we are for watching him torture himself

I hate even seeing his name mentioned anywhere because I hurt my eyes rolling them.

Respectfully, Tyrese Gibson (Nicole), Tuesday, 24 April 2012 17:41 (1 year ago) Permalink

I've not seen any Reygadas or Carax but a Cannes-frequenting associate of mine more than loathes both of them (especially Reygadas), so I'm anticipating his reports even more than usual.

Most curious to see Cronenberg, Nichols, Kiarostami, Resnais, Audiard, Garrone, Mungiu, Hillcoat. Not so promising: Daniels and Salles. I'm pretty much completely indifferent to Haneke at this point.

Simon H., Tuesday, 24 April 2012 19:51 (1 year ago) Permalink

didn't much care for Silent Light, either - felt a bit precious, a bit 'forced', a bit straining for effect, and i'm generally a fan of the slow cinema aesthetic.

Ward Fowler, Tuesday, 24 April 2012 20:27 (1 year ago) Permalink

has haneke won before? i always think of him as the guy who gets booed at cannes but that doesnt mean he cant win i guess

big fest for matt mcconaughey

― johnny crunch, Thursday, April 19, 2012 9:13 AM (5 days ago) Bookmark

c'mon man show some respect. its matthew

these pretzels are makeing me horney (Hungry4Ass), Tuesday, 24 April 2012 20:41 (1 year ago) Permalink

White Ribbon won.

jungleous butterflies strange birds (Eric H.), Tuesday, 24 April 2012 20:54 (1 year ago) Permalink

everyone gets booed at cannes, especially the winners.

jesus christ (strongo hulkington's ghost dad), Tuesday, 24 April 2012 21:33 (1 year ago) Permalink

didn't much care for Silent Light, either - felt a bit precious, a bit 'forced', a bit straining for effect, and i'm generally a fan of the slow cinema aesthetic.

in spite of containing some stunning images i agree with this. i was ready to love it, i just didn't.

jed_, Monday, 30 April 2012 19:29 (1 year ago) Permalink

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

System, Wednesday, 9 May 2012 00:01 (1 year ago) Permalink

I don't know much about that Reygadas film, but if it is half as good as Silent Light, then...that. I'm always hoping Leos Carax will have a resurgence one day, though

― Memorial Highway (admrl), Thursday, 19 April 2012 18:00 (2 weeks ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i feel like everything i've heard about the new reygadas makes it sound like what you want from him; that it's diaristic and loose and impressionistic. there was a write up in iirc cinemascope talking about a recent short he made for an anthology film, it said it was the best thing he'd done.

this line up looks great, anyway. no hou or wkw were bigger disappointments than inevitable-malick-postponement.

blossom smulch (schlump), Wednesday, 9 May 2012 10:03 (1 year ago) Permalink

this thread semi-inspired me to look up previous palme winners - biggest wtf was the mission getting it in 1986

Ward Fowler, Wednesday, 9 May 2012 13:29 (1 year ago) Permalink

The Mission soundtrack/score is amazing. That's the only reason/justification I can think of for that.

Respectfully, Tyrese Gibson (Nicole), Wednesday, 9 May 2012 13:32 (1 year ago) Permalink

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

System, Thursday, 10 May 2012 00:01 (1 year ago) Permalink

holy motors getting raves

trailer - http://www.festival-cannes.fr/en/mediaPlayer/12214.html

press kit - http://www.festival-cannes.fr/assets/Image/Direct/045904.pdf

johnny crunch, Wednesday, 23 May 2012 14:15 (1 year ago) Permalink

Not following reviews too closely this time around, but does it seem most of them are getting tepid reax?

Count-Dracula-Down (Eric H.), Wednesday, 23 May 2012 14:26 (1 year ago) Permalink

seems that way so far

johnny crunch, Wednesday, 23 May 2012 14:27 (1 year ago) Permalink

No boos as far as i've heard

Number None, Wednesday, 23 May 2012 14:37 (1 year ago) Permalink

ppl seem mad for Haneke, and jeez, JEFF WELLS liked the Kiarostami.

World Congress of Itch (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 23 May 2012 14:45 (1 year ago) Permalink

That's bad news.

Count-Dracula-Down (Eric H.), Wednesday, 23 May 2012 14:47 (1 year ago) Permalink

Holy Motors is the only one I've read so far to get pretty much unanimous raves.

Simon H., Wednesday, 23 May 2012 14:48 (1 year ago) Permalink

five-star review of the haneke here:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/film/2012/may/20/amour-haneke-film-review

Ward Fowler, Wednesday, 23 May 2012 14:49 (1 year ago) Permalink

any reviews of the carax?

this thread semi-inspired me to look up previous palme winners - biggest wtf was the mission getting it in 1986

― Ward Fowler, Wednesday, May 9, 2012 8:29 AM (2 weeks ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

fahrenheit 911 iirc

flesh, the devil, and a wolf (wolf) (amateurist), Wednesday, 23 May 2012 15:41 (1 year ago) Permalink

Both were incredibly bad choices, but at least F911 made sense in the moment.

Count-Dracula-Down (Eric H.), Wednesday, 23 May 2012 15:42 (1 year ago) Permalink

although i really don't like michael moore's film, i remember being impressed by tarantino's explanation for why they (he was head of the jury that year) chose it.

flesh, the devil, and a wolf (wolf) (amateurist), Wednesday, 23 May 2012 15:45 (1 year ago) Permalink

anyway any reviews of holly motors? i hope for the best, but fear the worst.

flesh, the devil, and a wolf (wolf) (amateurist), Wednesday, 23 May 2012 15:45 (1 year ago) Permalink

again, here's peter bradshaw on the Carax:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/film/2012/may/23/holy-motors-review?newsfeed=true

Ward Fowler, Wednesday, 23 May 2012 15:48 (1 year ago) Permalink

really psyched for it and i pretty much loved Pola X.

jed_, Wednesday, 23 May 2012 16:10 (1 year ago) Permalink

Haneke pic was very well received. Supposedly an uncharacteristically humane film for him. Looks like that and the Carax are front-runners at this point.

circa1916, Wednesday, 23 May 2012 16:55 (1 year ago) Permalink

i sorta tell myself that everyone at festivals is just psyched for the masterpieces so zones out whenever something meanders or doesn't go all out. i can handle a minor kiarostami, which is what it sounds like the kiarostami was, or a weird elliptical reygadas, which is what it sounds like post tenebrax lux is.

blossom smulch (schlump), Thursday, 24 May 2012 10:32 (1 year ago) Permalink

Meanwhile the Lee Daniels sounds like a fucking hoot:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/film/cannes-film-festival/9287238/Cannes-2012-The-Paperboy-review.html

Simon H., Thursday, 24 May 2012 11:32 (1 year ago) Permalink

wow the carax sounds fucking balls to the wall nuts. not that i expected much less but...

you know there's a miniseries-length version of pola x, called pierre ou les extremites, that aired on european TV and is supposedly (per jean-michel frodon and others) really great? but i have _never_ been able to find even a shit-quality copy.

flesh, the devil, and a wolf (wolf) (amateurist), Thursday, 24 May 2012 14:12 (1 year ago) Permalink

'course I'm hoping extra hard that'll be good since I'm seeing it Monday morning.

Simon H., Friday, 25 May 2012 15:31 (1 year ago) Permalink

http://www.vulture.com/2012/05/kanye-west-cruel-summer-cannes-2012.html

As I exited the arena to an outdoor party with Champagne and sushi that then led to an after-party in a crazy French nightclub where Cudi, Big Sean, and Pusha T performed, I unexpectedly found myself standing next to Jay-Z. What was his review? "Amazing!" Had he ever seen a movie like this before? "Have you?" he asked me back, and laughed and laughed while rubbing my back. (My review of that: amazing!) Had Kanye talked to him about this? "Yeah, about the idea, but to see it come to fruition is great, because the execution of idea is everything." So what did he think the film meant? He got deep: "It's about the things that separate us — race and class in society and things like that. But the only thing that really binds us is true love." He continued to rub my back. I got nervous. I tried to ask another question. "No, no, hold onto that," said Jay-Z. "That's what I'm going to leave you on." He laughed some more and walked away, and as he did, I think I finally got what he meant about true love.

Hungry4Ass, Friday, 25 May 2012 15:31 (1 year ago) Permalink

aren't everyone in love with the new vinterberg?

nostormo, Friday, 25 May 2012 15:32 (1 year ago) Permalink

Cosmopolis the book was kinda dull/inert, IIRC, so a film adaptation is already a tall order. Agreed that Cronenberg is maybe not the best dude for it.

Never translate Dutch (jaymc), Friday, 25 May 2012 15:35 (1 year ago) Permalink

"Cosmopolis the book was kinda dull/inert, IIRC, so a film adaptation is already a tall order"

on the contrary. a dull book usually equals great adaptation (Hitchcock for example).
while a masterpiece is usually better left out of the screen.

nostormo, Friday, 25 May 2012 15:37 (1 year ago) Permalink

(Campion's Poertrait Of a Lady, for example)

nostormo, Friday, 25 May 2012 15:38 (1 year ago) Permalink

re: Vinterberg - I've read some middling takes and at least one F.

Simon H., Friday, 25 May 2012 15:38 (1 year ago) Permalink

did anyone but me see his last one, Submarino?

Simon H., Friday, 25 May 2012 15:39 (1 year ago) Permalink

anyway, as usual - the interesting movies are on the Certain Regard.
Haneke and Co. are predictable at this point.we need fresh blood.

nostormo, Friday, 25 May 2012 15:40 (1 year ago) Permalink

re: Un Certain Regard, I've seen the Dolan (it's out already in QC). Some good stuff, but an hour (!) too long.

Simon H., Friday, 25 May 2012 15:43 (1 year ago) Permalink

hadnt heard a peep abt this thing or just overlooked it, robert duvall & lars ulrich in bit roles, cowritten by jerry stahl, walter murch editor, phil kaufman directs, will be on hbo 5/28

http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/review/hemingway-gellhorn-tv-review-hbo-cannes-329332

johnny crunch, Friday, 25 May 2012 15:43 (1 year ago) Permalink

yeah heres the trailer

clive owen going 'you inspire the hell outta me' and zestily biting a celery stick... i just dunno man. i hope its good

Hungry4Ass, Friday, 25 May 2012 16:06 (1 year ago) Permalink

god i wish they'd stop making biopics

this is like a heroin addict politely asking middle eastern farmers to stop growing poppies tho

me so fat (strongo hulkington's ghost dad), Friday, 25 May 2012 16:07 (1 year ago) Permalink

I generally don't read reviews til after I've seen something. I go by general reputation and the absence of Peter Travers in the ad quotes.

World Congress of Itch (Dr Morbius), Friday, 25 May 2012 16:16 (1 year ago) Permalink

dam that trailer looks v suspect

seems really weird to me that this thing is also happening i guess unrelatedly

http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/cannes-2012-anthony-hopkins-andy-garcia-anthony-hemingway-fuentes-324704

Andy Garcia’s passion project

johnny crunch, Friday, 25 May 2012 22:03 (1 year ago) Permalink

biopics probably have the worst shit-to-shinola ratio of any film genre ever.

flesh, the devil, and a wolf (wolf) (amateurist), Friday, 25 May 2012 22:07 (1 year ago) Permalink

In fact, as an uninhibited teenager who takes up with Garrett Hedlund's Neal Cassady stand-in, both [Kristen Stewart] and Hedlund go nude in their very first scenes in On the Road, and Stewart later takes part in a ménage à trois, initiates road head, and jerks off both Hedlund and Sam Riley while all three are naked in a moving car. She's so horny and curious that when another couple excuses themselves to have sex, a nosy Stewart follows them into the doorway and asks, "Can I watch you guys screw?"

...

Her On the Road co-star Hedlund is a case in point: Neutered of his natural charisma in all-ages blockbusters like Tron Legacy, Hedlund finally gets to make a strong impression here, wielding that window-shaking deep voice like a sensual weapon and inviting men and women alike to ogle him and eventually join him in bed. (There is even a scene where a sweaty Hedlund athletically power-fucks Steve Buscemi, which is not something anyone expected to see today, and yet it occurred!)

Hungry4Ass, Friday, 25 May 2012 22:14 (1 year ago) Permalink

johnny crunch, Friday, 25 May 2012 22:27 (1 year ago) Permalink

Palme d’Or:
"Amour"

Grand Prix:
"Reality"

Prix de la Mise en Scene (best director):
Carlos Reygadas, "Post Tenebras Lux"

Prix du Scenario (best screenplay):
"Beyond The Hills"

Camera d’Or (best first feature):
"Beasts of the Southern Wild"

Prix du Jury (jury prize):
"The Angel's Share"

Prix d’interpretation feminine (best actress):
Cosmina Stratan and Christina Flutor, "Beyond The Hills"

Prix d’interpretation masculine (best actor):
Mads Mikkelsen, "The Hunt"

Number None, Sunday, 27 May 2012 18:35 (1 year ago) Permalink

called it tbqfh

Éden Éden Éden / H.A.Z.A.R.D (nakhchivan), Sunday, 27 May 2012 18:37 (1 year ago) Permalink

stop hoggin them palmes, haneke

me so fat (strongo hulkington's ghost dad), Sunday, 27 May 2012 19:51 (1 year ago) Permalink

I generally don't read reviews til after I've seen something. I go by general reputation and the absence of Peter Travers in the ad quotes.

Your intense allergy to 'rides' handily explained in one fell swoop.

Quiet Desperation, LLC (Deric W. Haircare), Sunday, 27 May 2012 21:31 (1 year ago) Permalink

I generally don't read reviews til after I've seen something.

and with films you don't intend to see...? oh yeah, occupy film threads (TM)

jed_, Sunday, 27 May 2012 21:36 (1 year ago) Permalink

carax can't catch a break poor dood

of family bonds and individual triumph. Narrated by Tim Allen, (zachlyon), Sunday, 27 May 2012 23:08 (1 year ago) Permalink

worst. cannes. ever.

Count-Dracula-Down (Eric H.), Monday, 28 May 2012 01:57 (1 year ago) Permalink

I've seen two Haneke films (Caché and White Ribbon) and I didn't like either. I don't think I'll even bother with his new one.

There’s almost an “aww” factor to Georges’ attentiveness following Anne’s first stroke, which ill-prepares you for the truly grueling compendium of slow deterioration to come. By the time she’s reduced to an immobile husk capable only of slurring the word “hurts” over and over again,

yeah, i don't think so

the acquisition and practice of music is unfavourable to the health of (abanana), Monday, 28 May 2012 02:05 (1 year ago) Permalink

biopics probably have the worst shit-to-shinola ratio of any film genre ever.

next to horror obv

World Congress of Itch (Dr Morbius), Monday, 28 May 2012 03:00 (1 year ago) Permalink

and "rides"

ie fuck somebody or two itt

World Congress of Itch (Dr Morbius), Monday, 28 May 2012 03:01 (1 year ago) Permalink

http://www.guardian.co.uk/film/2012/may/29/venice-film-festival-slims-down-sober

The new director of the Venice film festival has promised a "more sober, less glitzy" event for the 69th edition later this year.

Artistic director Alberto Barbera, who was appointed in December, has revealed plans to cut the number of films showing on the Lido. There will be fewer than 50 films in total at this year's festival, with only 18 showing in competition, he told Italian reporters.

jed_, Thursday, 31 May 2012 16:32 (1 year ago) Permalink

The Death of Cinema pt. 94

Björk lied (Eric H.), Thursday, 31 May 2012 16:36 (1 year ago) Permalink

rlly looking fwd to Reygadas after all those pans

World Congress of Itch (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 31 May 2012 17:31 (1 year ago) Permalink

word

blossom smulch (schlump), Thursday, 31 May 2012 23:09 (1 year ago) Permalink

Hungry4Ass, Friday, 1 June 2012 17:43 (1 year ago) Permalink

Two interesting tidbits:

Carax said about the leading role which had been written specifically for Lavant: "If Denis had said no, I would have offered the part to Lon Chaney or to Chaplin. Or to Peter Lorre or Michel Simon."

The soundtrack includes Minogue performing the original song "Who Were We?" written by Carax and Neil Hannon, as well as previously existing music by Dmitri Shostakovich, Sparks, Manset, R. L. Burnside, and the track "Sinking of Bingou-Maru" from Godzilla.

poxen, Saturday, 2 June 2012 03:22 (1 year ago) Permalink


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