Battleship...the movie

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How about, (and this comes from currently watching Deathrace - although I'm remembering the original movie rather than this prison variation), in the future people play real Battleships with real ships out in the ocean. Pimped up aircraft carriers and submarines! Televised annual event. etc etc

PSOD (Ste), Friday, 6 April 2012 21:07 (2 years ago) Permalink

battleships transform into giant robots and do battle in the middle of the ocean

Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 6 April 2012 21:09 (2 years ago) Permalink

when i first saw the trailer, thats what i thought was happening for a moment.

PSOD (Ste), Friday, 6 April 2012 21:10 (2 years ago) Permalink

I hoped, but alas, twere not to be

Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 6 April 2012 21:12 (2 years ago) Permalink

PSOD (Ste), Friday, 6 April 2012 21:24 (2 years ago) Permalink

y are u not in the movie, battleshipformers

Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 6 April 2012 21:26 (2 years ago) Permalink

3 weeks pass...

http://io9.com/5907006/8-battleship-clips-unmask-the-alien-invaders-and-they-all-have-goatees/gallery/1

Also the "Mahalo motherfucker" line is here.

Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 2 May 2012 16:47 (2 years ago) Permalink

Now they should license the rights to make a board game of "Battleship: The Motion Picture" that has nothing to do with "Battleship." Like one of those myriad Monopoly versions or something.

i love the large auns pictures! (Phil D.), Wednesday, 2 May 2012 16:48 (2 years ago) Permalink

Battleshit

Roger Barfing (Shakey Mo Collier), Wednesday, 2 May 2012 20:48 (2 years ago) Permalink

Battleshart vs Giant Octopus

Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 2 May 2012 20:57 (2 years ago) Permalink

looool

Universal Studios claims its new big budget movie "Battleship" is in jeopardy -- all thanks to a low budget straight-to-DVD knockoff that's coming out

This is what the business world calls "managing expectations."

i love the large auns pictures! (Phil D.), Thursday, 3 May 2012 12:07 (2 years ago) Permalink

this piece of shit was in jeopardy when they were doing reshoots for like 2 years

wolves in our wounds (mayor jingleberries), Thursday, 3 May 2012 16:45 (2 years ago) Permalink

hey guys this movie looks really bad!

goole, Thursday, 3 May 2012 17:05 (2 years ago) Permalink

I don't have much use for this generally cretinous blogger, but he's upset.

I could call it stunningly idiotic alien-invader CG sludge for gamers but what's the point? What it is, boiled down, is yet another metaphor for the decline of civilization as it was once known and nourished by the likes of Norman Mailer, Anne Bancroft, Ernst Lubitsch, Jean Seberg, Gunter Grass, Bernardo Bertolucci, Jean Genet, Rainer Werner Fassbinder, William S. Burroughs, Francis Coppola, Sting, Gary Cooper and Jerry Lewis, et. al. Damn the ComicCon-ers for movies like this. Damn them all to hell.

If Battleship is a state-of-the-art 2012 Hollywood popcorn movie then kill me now. Stab me in the chest with a screwdriver.

http://hollywood-elsewhere.com/2012/05/alien_flotsam.php

Chuckled at "Sting."

World Congress of Itch (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 9 May 2012 15:44 (2 years ago) Permalink

He meant Sting in Dune.

Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 9 May 2012 15:47 (2 years ago) Permalink

I'll gladly stab him in the chest with a screwdriver. Nothing to do with hating on Battleship, mind.

Fas Ro Duh (Gukbe), Wednesday, 9 May 2012 16:13 (2 years ago) Permalink

get in line

World Congress of Itch (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 9 May 2012 16:14 (2 years ago) Permalink

I can feel the spittle spray from here

Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 9 May 2012 16:16 (2 years ago) Permalink

Battleship is obviously a popcorn movie, made in hollywood, released in 2012, with state-of-the-art effects. Dude really wants to get stabbed.

He's sick of the Swiss. He don't like em. (Austerity Ponies), Wednesday, 9 May 2012 17:39 (2 years ago) Permalink

He was hoping for a Das Boot sequel, y'see.

Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 9 May 2012 17:52 (2 years ago) Permalink

would you rather see 2 das 2 booteous or das boot: tokyo drift?

Philip Nunez, Wednesday, 9 May 2012 18:12 (2 years ago) Permalink

I heard The Das Boot Rises is the darkest one of all.

Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 9 May 2012 18:15 (2 years ago) Permalink

Das Booty Call

Scott, bass player for Tenth Avenue North (Hurting 2), Wednesday, 9 May 2012 18:20 (2 years ago) Permalink

i dunno if i'm even pronouncing it right but jurgen prochnow is a very satisfying name to say on any occasion.
rafe finnes who i always confuse with liam neeson is a very unsatisfying name to say.

so yes, dude is justified in preferring live free or das boot to battleship

Philip Nunez, Wednesday, 9 May 2012 18:22 (2 years ago) Permalink

this was a quality comment:

I dabble in languages and translated Jeff's comments into German then ran them back through Google translate.

Interestingly, they came back as "Who if I cried about BATTLESHIP would hear me among the angelic orders, for BATTLESHIP is only the beginning of a terror I can barely endure."

World Congress of Itch (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 9 May 2012 18:25 (2 years ago) Permalink

lol

He's sick of the Swiss. He don't like em. (Austerity Ponies), Wednesday, 9 May 2012 18:28 (2 years ago) Permalink

Michel Gondry/Charlie Kaufman present Tweetleship
― Ned Raggett, Friday, April 6, 2012 9:02 PM

underrated post

(Name Withheld to Avoid Hassle) (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 9 May 2012 18:36 (2 years ago) Permalink

still cracks me up

Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 9 May 2012 18:50 (2 years ago) Permalink

Rainer Werner Fassbinder, William S. Burroughs, Francis Coppola

DavidM, Wednesday, 9 May 2012 19:14 (2 years ago) Permalink

Had no idea I should be holding Hollywood films up against a list of The History of Western Literature & Filmmaking 101 Required Summer Reading and/or Viewing.

Also, where does all the Rihanna hate come from? She's just a Barbadian goddess tryin' to make it in this crazy world.

Emperor Cos Dashit (Adam Bruneau), Wednesday, 9 May 2012 19:36 (2 years ago) Permalink

I think Wells was just writing a "We Didn't Start the Fire" sequel

World Congress of Itch (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 9 May 2012 19:38 (2 years ago) Permalink

Boggle! The Story of Boggle

fishermen are coveted by whores & stoners (Pillbox), Wednesday, 9 May 2012 19:53 (2 years ago) Permalink

Dare I make this joke:

Das Boot 2: Eletrik Boot-a-loo

Scott, bass player for Tenth Avenue North (Hurting 2), Wednesday, 9 May 2012 20:04 (2 years ago) Permalink

(Elektrik)

Scott, bass player for Tenth Avenue North (Hurting 2), Wednesday, 9 May 2012 20:04 (2 years ago) Permalink

Vini Reilly Invasion (Elvis Telecom), Tuesday, 15 May 2012 01:18 (2 years ago) Permalink

Ha, the other day me and my brother were talking about how shit like Battleship makes it feel like we're closer than ever to Coupon: The Movie

bark ruffalo (latebloomer), Tuesday, 15 May 2012 01:37 (2 years ago) Permalink

I saw the shit out of it!

wolves in our wounds (mayor jingleberries), Tuesday, 15 May 2012 05:39 (2 years ago) Permalink

If they did manage to make a Hungry Hungry Hippos movie, though, I would see it.

bark ruffalo (latebloomer), Tuesday, 15 May 2012 05:59 (2 years ago) Permalink

Only if the hippos are something more like Brick Top's pigs in Snatch

Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 15 May 2012 06:08 (2 years ago) Permalink

Just occured to me that what the hell is Liam Neeson doing in the U. S. Navy?

Also occured to me that "TRANSFORMERS + Neeson speechifying" is a really good selling point.

I serve at the pleasure of Dr. Dre and a team of Sorbonne scientists. (R Baez), Thursday, 17 May 2012 02:35 (2 years ago) Permalink

Neeson is more American now than anything. Didn't you see Taken, where he donned the stars and stripes to shoot the shit out of foreigners?

Fas Ro Duh (Gukbe), Thursday, 17 May 2012 04:07 (2 years ago) Permalink

i think the citizenship test is now just doing the "i have a particular set of skills" monologue

goole, Thursday, 17 May 2012 04:55 (2 years ago) Permalink

lol

bark ruffalo (latebloomer), Thursday, 17 May 2012 04:56 (2 years ago) Permalink

lool so apparently I'm seeing this tomorrow for a work outing.

Boy o boy I'm so excited to see Tim Riggins Joins The Navy, Fights Transformers

Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 17 May 2012 22:16 (2 years ago) Permalink

The only reviewer that matters (aka Rick Juzwiak, the man who helped codify Punisher: War Zone as the slice of genius it is) takes it on:

http://gawker.com/5911532/battleshit

Ned Raggett, Friday, 18 May 2012 20:28 (2 years ago) Permalink

Rich Lawson's opinion carries more weight with me and he liked it.

polyphonic, Friday, 18 May 2012 20:30 (2 years ago) Permalink

He would.

Respectfully, Tyrese Gibson (Nicole), Friday, 18 May 2012 20:53 (2 years ago) Permalink


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