ILE rolling non-slam Tennis thread

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LOVE YOU A-RAD LET'S NEVER FIGHT AGAIN.

this pooper, give it to her in the christmas (edwardo), Saturday, 31 March 2012 23:01 (2 years ago) Permalink

Quite honestly this is a better result than I could have hoped for.

THIS TRADE SERVES ZERO FOOTBALL PURPOSE (DJP), Sunday, 1 April 2012 14:59 (2 years ago) Permalink

good lord what a point

recent thug (k3vin k.), Sunday, 1 April 2012 17:21 (2 years ago) Permalink

lol @ how much Murray stuffed up that game. from 40-0 up iirc?

I also forgot that Murray beat Djokovic in the Miami final 3 years ago.

lex pretend, Sunday, 1 April 2012 17:37 (2 years ago) Permalink

Heh, every game going to multiple deuces and Murray losing them all.

lex pretend, Sunday, 1 April 2012 17:55 (2 years ago) Permalink

lol @ how much Murray stuffed up that game. from 40-0 up iirc?

^yup -__-

recent thug (k3vin k.), Sunday, 1 April 2012 18:05 (2 years ago) Permalink

aaaagh I cannot take this shitty stream that constantly freezes but I can still hear the point getting better and better. why is technology so shit?

lex pretend, Sunday, 1 April 2012 18:27 (2 years ago) Permalink

Live streaming sites seem to be getting worse all the time, 'tis true.

Points are getting longer but not sure they're getting better exactly - practically every one seems to end on another Murray forehand into the net.

Roz, Sunday, 1 April 2012 18:35 (2 years ago) Permalink

I have turned it off b/c I can't fucking see anything anyway. Going to see the new Werner Herzog film instead. Might stab a couple of live stream site owners on the way.

lex pretend, Sunday, 1 April 2012 18:45 (2 years ago) Permalink

Sounds like I didn't miss much anyway.

Djokovic may still be winning but he is definitely nowhere near the level he was playing at this time last year, and sooner or later players are going to realise he's beatable. I say the NOLESLAM doesn't happen.

lex pretend, Sunday, 1 April 2012 20:28 (2 years ago) Permalink

Venus d. Jankovic.

FUCK YES. Soon, she comes for the actual elite.

this pooper, give it to her in the christmas (edwardo), Thursday, 5 April 2012 07:19 (2 years ago) Permalink

We need to talk about what amazing shade Sloane Stephens throws.

http://www.10sworld.com/tennis/blog/sloane-stephens-healthy-happy-and-nineteen

“I’m friends with Jamie (Hampton), Christina (McHale), and Melanie (Oudin) - well, we don’t see Melanie as much anymore,” she said, trailing off.

...

Stephens, on the other hand, only had positive things to say about the current torchbearer of the WTA, number one Victoria Azarenka. ““I love Vika. You could tell me she sucks toes - I wouldn’t care,” she laughed. “She’s been nice to me since I met her for the first time. She and my mom are always chatting it up. People are always telling me they hate her - I don’t know why.”

lex pretend, Thursday, 5 April 2012 07:34 (2 years ago) Permalink

jankovic needs to retire asap before she fucks up her h2h vs the williamses completely.

groovemaaan, Thursday, 5 April 2012 07:52 (2 years ago) Permalink

that is the least shady shade I've ever seen

God, Music and Romeo and Juliet (DJP), Thursday, 5 April 2012 13:51 (2 years ago) Permalink

What does a Djokalo look like?

we gotta move these refrigerators (CaptainLorax), Friday, 6 April 2012 03:51 (2 years ago) Permalink

I'm ready for the Serena/Venus Charleston SF. Haven't played on clay since RG final 02 IIRC??? :o

nowadays suckers seem to be so fucking naïve (uberweiss), Friday, 6 April 2012 13:30 (2 years ago) Permalink

lisicki injury time-out

music playing: ASHLEE SIMPSON - NOTHING NEW

never did i think i'd see the day where an ashlee album track would be played at a tennis tournament. so much life

nowadays suckers seem to be so fucking naïve (uberweiss), Friday, 6 April 2012 17:34 (2 years ago) Permalink

serena and ashlee simpson at the same time, captured on my tv. this is too much for me to take right now tbqh

nowadays suckers seem to be so fucking naïve (uberweiss), Friday, 6 April 2012 17:35 (2 years ago) Permalink

hahaha now THAT is shade

God, Music and Romeo and Juliet (DJP), Friday, 6 April 2012 17:41 (2 years ago) Permalink

you realise i was serious right -_-

OMG AT THAT FIRST SET. SERENA YES YES YES THOSE BACKHANDS

nowadays suckers seem to be so fucking naïve (uberweiss), Saturday, 7 April 2012 17:42 (2 years ago) Permalink

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

THAT is the serena i love. such clean hitting. absolutely unbeatable.

nowadays suckers seem to be so fucking naïve (uberweiss), Saturday, 7 April 2012 18:12 (2 years ago) Permalink

you realise i was serious right -_-

You realize I was talking about the music they played when Lisicki got hurt

God, Music and Romeo and Juliet (DJP), Saturday, 7 April 2012 18:39 (2 years ago) Permalink

Serena was so good against Stosur, who just looked totally hapless.

Though not as hapless as Hercog's doing right now. This is embarrassing for her. Oddly enough Hercog's game reminds me of a destitute man's Stosur - obviously based on a big serve and running around her big FH but everything's so awkward and disjointed and her BH is laughable. Even brainless Lucie knows to aim 90% of her shots there.

lex pretend, Saturday, 7 April 2012 19:18 (2 years ago) Permalink

You realize I was talking about the music they played when Lisicki got hurt

oh lol

yes

nowadays suckers seem to be so fucking naïve (uberweiss), Saturday, 7 April 2012 19:39 (2 years ago) Permalink

Today's ticketholders must be on top of the world right now.

lex pretend, Saturday, 7 April 2012 19:45 (2 years ago) Permalink

i would have been :D getting to see one of the best performances of the last few years :D

nowadays suckers seem to be so fucking naïve (uberweiss), Saturday, 7 April 2012 19:59 (2 years ago) Permalink

"I have to say this is probably the best match I've played in my career, either in a long time or it's up there in the top five," Williams said.

wowzas.

nowadays suckers seem to be so fucking naïve (uberweiss), Saturday, 7 April 2012 23:05 (2 years ago) Permalink

Hercog, based on my observations of her, has a very specific game plan against lefties like Lucie. That is to hit to the forehand constantly. Saw it when she was playing Makarova earlier this year and it was such a spectacular failure. Can imagine the match was just like that. Not that I mind, because I <3 Lucie.

this pooper, give it to her in the christmas (edwardo), Sunday, 8 April 2012 00:23 (2 years ago) Permalink

ATTENTION

Yulia Putintseva and her antics will be streamed for the first time later today. Against JANKOVIC, appropriately enough. CAN'T FUCKING WAIT hope she's as insane as she's made out to be. I have waited for her to make it on to the tour for YEARS

liberté, égalité, beyoncé (lex pretend), Thursday, 12 April 2012 10:49 (2 years ago) Permalink

http://cowbell.typepad.com/forty_deuce/2010/01/robbie-watch-2010-shes-so-annoying.html

The diminutive but confrontational 15 year-old Russian has developed quite a reputation for herself in a short space of time and her penchant for intimidating umpires by persistent arguing and attempting to influence the calls of line judges have become notorious.

“She is a pit-bull, pure and simple,” said Peter McNamara, the former Australian doubles champion who now figures amongst the elite coaching team at the Mouratoglou Academy just outside Paris. “She will fight and scrap and do anything. The only person I’ve seen argue and try and intimidate umpires more consistently is John McEnroe.

liberté, égalité, beyoncé (lex pretend), Thursday, 12 April 2012 10:49 (2 years ago) Permalink

i <3 her already

she's totally gonna double bagel jankovic

nowadays suckers seem to be so fucking naïve (uberweiss), Thursday, 12 April 2012 12:16 (2 years ago) Permalink

OH MY GOD WHAT HAS DOLGOPOLOV DONE TO HIS HAIR

I CAN NOT

liberté, égalité, beyoncé (lex pretend), Thursday, 12 April 2012 15:27 (2 years ago) Permalink

apparently the skin on his face hates it so much it's attempting to melt itself off his skull in protest

an independent online phenomenon (DJP), Thursday, 12 April 2012 15:32 (2 years ago) Permalink

The VERY FIRST Putintseva point I see is followed by a racquet toss :D

liberté, égalité, beyoncé (lex pretend), Thursday, 12 April 2012 16:23 (2 years ago) Permalink

TRIPLE racquet toss!

Her tortured facial expressions are something else.

liberté, égalité, beyoncé (lex pretend), Thursday, 12 April 2012 16:46 (2 years ago) Permalink

She is so tiny and she just cannot smash at all!

liberté, égalité, beyoncé (lex pretend), Thursday, 12 April 2012 16:50 (2 years ago) Permalink

his mustache is coming in nicely

andrew m., Thursday, 12 April 2012 19:43 (2 years ago) Permalink

lol @ the explicit version of "niggas in paris" being blasted at top volume on the changeover during this Wozniacki Invitational final

liberté, égalité, beyoncé (lex pretend), Sunday, 15 April 2012 14:29 (2 years ago) Permalink

kanye and jay-z inspiring Care Bear! she's playing well again!

liberté, égalité, beyoncé (lex pretend), Sunday, 15 April 2012 14:31 (2 years ago) Permalink

Care Bear reels off five games in a row for the title following the Jay-Z/Kanye intervention and Wozniacki's sour face as she approaches the net is a glorious sight to behold :D

liberté, égalité, beyoncé (lex pretend), Sunday, 15 April 2012 14:47 (2 years ago) Permalink

Haha that's great

an independent online phenomenon (DJP), Sunday, 15 April 2012 14:56 (2 years ago) Permalink

it was even sweeter because prior to Jay and Kanye, Wozniacki had won four games in a row herself following a HIGHLY DUBIOUS medical time-out that broke Kerber's momentum

liberté, égalité, beyoncé (lex pretend), Sunday, 15 April 2012 15:00 (2 years ago) Permalink

omg lollllllllllllllllllllllllll at woz losing the woz invitational :)

nowadays suckers seem to be so fucking naïve (uberweiss), Sunday, 15 April 2012 15:26 (2 years ago) Permalink

Kerber will be up to 14 this week. Not bad for a fluke Slam SFist! And the people ahead of her are injured Petko, probably injured Lisicki defending SF at Wimbledon, Li and Fran defending W and F at RG, and Zvonareva, who is Zvonareva, only more so than usual this year. She'll be at least #9 by June.

this pooper, give it to her in the christmas (edwardo), Sunday, 15 April 2012 21:52 (2 years ago) Permalink

I have no idea what to say about this other than that until I saw the finished product, I was sure they were kidding.

this pooper, give it to her in the christmas (edwardo), Sunday, 22 April 2012 01:16 (2 years ago) Permalink

lol at some angles, the dude looks like conan o brien

sometimes i feel sorry for her, i'm not sure she realises how much of a joke she is.

Roz, Sunday, 22 April 2012 08:48 (2 years ago) Permalink

I half expected the German Shepherd to put its paws over its eyes at the end.

katstevens, Sunday, 22 April 2012 21:58 (2 years ago) Permalink

In further Wozniacki joke news, did anyone else see the utter beating Kerber just laid on her. That was just...an impeccable match from start to end. Kerber absolutely brilliant in offense and defense and in knowing which to play when. Just an absolute joy to watch. The 1 and 2 scoreline flatters Wozniacki if anything.

Wozniacki was obviously powerless to do a single thing and becomes more irrelevant by the day :D

liberté, égalité, beyoncé (lex pretend), Thursday, 26 April 2012 19:49 (2 years ago) Permalink

Some of Kerber's FHs were just <3 <3 Putting the ball where the fuck she wanted to.

That amazing defensive point early in the second set where she got back about 4 impossible shots, lobbed Wozniacki and then THUMPED the weak reply for a FH DTL winner <3 <3

liberté, égalité, beyoncé (lex pretend), Thursday, 26 April 2012 19:50 (2 years ago) Permalink

ugh i am still on easter holiday and constantly bored yet still manage to forget this tournament's happening

lol @ woz altho at this point it's just like... yeah w/e just go away 4ever you're not even funny to watch any more

uberweiss, Friday, 27 April 2012 00:28 (2 years ago) Permalink


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