Innocuous things that make you irrationally angry (a list thread)

mmmmmmmmm sriracha

I enjoy calling it cock sauce (giggle)

I keep salt at my desk.

I have a drawer full of oranges at work

In the drawer to my left: larabars, trail mix
In the drawer to my right: ricolas, emergen-c, and a single purple nitrile glove (no idea where that came from)
no salt :(
no sriracha :(

in the draw to my left: soy sauce
in the draw to my right: travel sized crest toothpaste

classy

i know right. no chopsticks or toothbrush though

Fingers for both, I say.

L1ggy?

Jesse's googleproofed nickname for his boss. As it the name is a special nickname he gave his boss, which he then googleproofed. Two-level security.

we've been given temporary eyes-only clearance - it's very hush-hush

It's only one level. 6 = b

But we do call her Liggy now. Which makes me think of tubal ligation. And she's a lawyer, so "ligation" makes me think of litigation.

Oh, I didn't see that you had written "Li66y." I was just going by Stevie's L1ggy, which is Liggy, googleproofed.

ipad keyboard makes me IA
it's *just* spread out enough to fool you into thinking you can touch-type but nooooo it's just cramped enough that you hit the N key everytime you try to hit the space key and raaaggh

what about if you split it?

split what?

there's a button in the lower right of the ipad on-screen keyboard that splits it into right and left sides that are further apart

the hell you say

i'm IA that over the weekend i bought two sticks of the same deodorant, and the deodorant ended up having such a disgusting cheap-perfume smell that it made me nauseous the whole time i wore it. i'm not a delicate flower but i do have some allergies to chemically produced fragrances. anyway, i'm mad that i wasted money and a trip to the drugstore, and i'm mad at arm & hammer, who usually make reputable products, for selling me garbage.

when i was at tj's yesterday, i bought a stick of their house-brand unscented, and it's MUCH better. i can breathe again.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xgZ_HFJIGQw

^ hahaha

- Yelp keeps defaulting me to London. I have never lived in London!
- Trying to order takeout and NO phone contact details on the website, not even under 'contact' which is a customer feedback form.

^That last one reminds me...

What I want to see when I visit a restaurant's website: days and hours of operation

What the restaurant thinks I want to see:

the story behind the name of the restaurant
what the chef's grandmother used to cook on Sunday
what TV shows the chef has appeared on
coverage of latest charitable food program sponsored by restaurant
awards won by their desserts
pictures of Tuscany

- under no circumstances, their phone number

Relevant: http://theoatmeal.com/comics/restaurant_website

Also relevant: Why are restaurant websites so horrifically bad?

Relevant: http://theoatmeal.com/comics/restaurant_website

Haha! "The Papyrus font," so true.

oh god I love that oatmeal cartoon

Yeah, what I want to see: the opening hours, the menu, the phone number and maybe a link to Google maps.

All they ever have:
- a massive Flash gallery of pictures of attractive young people (90%) interspersed with arty shots of a fork (10%) where you can't even see what's on the attractive young peoples' plates
- horrible tinny piano music which can't be turned off
- what looks like a sidebar of links which reads "Gallery - About - Menu - Contact", except the "menu" and "contact" links don't work, and the "about" page is some typo-riddled rubbish about the fragrance of the sea near the chef's grandmother's house when he was 6 and a picture of Tuscany
- but hey, why not look at our massive Flash gallery?

and you have to download a giant PDF of the stupid menu because why not

my favorite is sites that have some sort of menu that is obviously the "export to html" or (god forbid) "export to flash" from an out-of-date version of a desktop publishing or design tool creating a 5MB web page that is slow as hell

pdfs on web sites always annoy me

it also doesn't help that all of the browser integrated pfd viewers are terrible

Exclaiming "Ah, ya cunt" at a cold tap I've just myself turned on way too hard.

normally over the back of a spoon for preference of course, but in this particular case washing a salad.

I don't know when but at some point Robot Chicken-style comedy just really started annoying me. Basically when the joke is that something strange is taken out of context and placed into 'normal'/'everyday'. Like "what if Darth Vader suddenly remembered he had to do his laundry?" It's not funny, it's not clever, it's just lazy and easy and cheap. And more often than not, it involves an awkward pause joke, and at that point I just have to turn away.

Agh! I had some time to kill before magnetic fields show. Went to Trader joes and stocked up on a few bags of trail mix. And they wouldn't let me in with my goddamn trail mix, and im too cheap to just throw away pristine bags of food I just bought so I got on the subway to dump my food at work and lo and behold the train switches to express and I don't hear it because try only announce it once and quietly.

stephin merritt is so bitchy!

They didn't have coat check?? I would never take the train to save bags of trail mix - my time is worth money - but it's nuts that they wouldn't let you check it.

lol "nuts" geddit

I don't seem to be able to get myspace player to play through the several tracks of the artist I'm looking up without jumping to another artist first. Guess that's not irrational.
Is it just me or did they change the settings recently?
JUst trying to check out one thing I'm unfamiliar with while I'm doing something else and find out I've been listening to a totally different band for a couple of tracks its not very helpful in me building a picture of whether I like/dislike the band I'm trying to check out.

The course yet again. hours of repetitive nothingness. Well at least I'm learning to type,roughly but Mavis Beacon keeps graduating personas I've set up to allow me to practise typing without looking at the screen to a level I'm not ready for.
& now I've got to find a work placement for 2 weeks in June when it's unlikely that everybody in the course will find one and there's almost no hope from the course itself. Think it's a vital part of the marks too.

& we could be spending what time we do have on the course going over examples of the programs we're using in a more in depth way instead of being on typing tutors so much. I'm going over e.gs from other sources and half wishing I'd taken the course online as had been offered as an option. wah.

Yeah they wouldn't let me check it. I was so mad! But in retrospect, I'm more annoyed at my own irrationality. I probably could have walked around the block, stuck them at the bottom of my bag, and come back in like 20 min.

rayuela: in Toronto a few friends similarly bought groceries before the show (why do the MF keep playing near grocery stores? Hmmm.) and the security guard gave them a plastic bag to stash it in a bush near the door! It was unscathed post-show.

that security guard was much more accomodating than mine!

too bad they don't travel with their own security guards!

I don't know when but at some point Robot Chicken-style comedy just really started annoying me. Basically when the joke is that something strange is taken out of context and placed into 'normal'/'everyday'. Like "what if Darth Vader suddenly remembered he had to do his laundry?" It's not funny, it's not clever, it's just lazy and easy and cheap. And more often than not, it involves an awkward pause joke, and at that point I just have to turn away.

absolutely, but this type of comedy is A) incredibly easy to write and B) strangely popular with whoever "gets" the reference, so it's probably not going away, unless Seth MacFarlane dies in a plane crash or something

you mean seth green? seth identification can be tricky i know.

Well, Family Guy did this too, but it feels more like a watered down version of early Adult Swim style.

Either/Or. They both do work on both shows and have the same humor.

Keep tempting fate with that "Seth MacFarlane dies in a plane crash" comments. Dude was probably scheduled to sleep in a boxcar outside Dallas yesterday, but missed his cab.