TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES MICHAEL BAY REBOOT (2014)

I REMEMBER THAT SHIT

dude on the right is totally on roids

fuck yeah i'ma play me some battletoads right now

http://www.1980-games.com/us/old-games/nintendo/b/Battletoads/big-game.php

yknow mikey bay should make a live action 'bubble bobble' movie that shitd be real

omg yes the whole point of bubble bobble is explosions basically

bubble bobble is about FRIENDSHIP

used nhex's method of pausing and memorizing nintendo power maps to beat the speeder stage of battletoads iirc

which turtle is Shia Lebouf playing. also what percentage of the Turtles' dialogue will be an offensively awkward attempt at street lingo as filtered through alien amphibians

as part of mikey bay's homage to silent classics like 'the artist' the turtles won't have any dialogue

the pause music in battletoads is better than 99% of other music

i think i always lost in in the speeder stage on one when you were supposed to jump twice?

turtles in time was at aladdin's castle in the mall, many a quarter rolled into that machine...it was right next to samurai showdown

fuckin loved BattleToads

fuck yeah brb still playin battletoads

I spent a lot of time playing the original ninja turtles arcade game at bowling alleys . First video game that I ever beat!

me too!

kind of felt like it was the day i became a man.

i'm still mad that the first time i ever played it I was getting my ass kicked by one of those robot-machine thingies and my friend (who was Michaelangelo) was nearby and his sister was screaming KURT SHOOT HIM! over and over but the dude kept jumping for whatever reason because he apparently couldn't master both buttons at the same time and finally after I died he figured out what he aws doing wrong and vaporized it.

I burnt his house down in retaliation. hope he's fucking happy.

My family started a Christmas tradition a few years ago where we sit around and eat Christmas snacks and watch my brother beat the NES Ninja Turtles game.

the OG one? aws that even possible? that game was insanely difficult

Yeah that's why it became a tradition. That game lead to so many fights between me and my siblings growing up. If my brother got a game over, he'd throw the controller at me and have a tantrum. Day ruined.

Like most video games, I really only liked the part where you're walking around on the overworld map (where you can still get your ass killed, wtf).

idk Mario Bros 3 might have been amusing if Mario could be struck by a vehicle while attempting to select the next World to enter.

Hammer bros. kind of approached this, but it just led into a RPG-style battle

do they even have wheels in the Mushroom Kingdom?

hey hey hey let's not take a swing at the not-so-well to do, they may be third world, but WE made them that way!

They have that sweet little boat in world 3.

All the islands off the mainlands had mushroom houses and matching games...

Also some of the best parts of the game IMO.

Would like an iOS battle toads reboot.

World 3 is def one of my favorite levels (alomg with World 5)

i was just playing the original NES game and guess where i game over'd?

if your NES was anything like mine, before the damn thing even loaded

was your nes a cereal box

irl lol

hahahaha

http://db.gamefaqs.com/console/nes/file/teenage_mutant_ninja_turtles_nes_hudson_bomb.gif

Michael Bay apparently bringing more creative reinventmentisation to the table, making the turtles not only alien, but non-teenaged, too.

meanwhile longtime main Turtle artist Jim Lawson has been posting pisstake art on the facialbook:

https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/s720x720/535273_244637528964997_155495057879245_505751_588748507_n.jpg

http://a8.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/s720x720/375094_243496805745736_155495057879245_502508_1838993457_n.jpg

http://a6.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/s720x720/549062_244637788964971_155495057879245_505753_520910028_n.jpg

hahah! Now that I would watch

title may be shortened just to "NINJA TURTLES"

http://www.bleedingcool.com/2012/03/24/scoop-michael-bays-alien-turtles-apparently-arent-teenagers-either/

Next Week: Just ninja aliens but they're still green.

"NINJAS!"

World 3 is def one of my favorite levels (alomg with World 5)

yeah when i was older all the post-desert worlds except world 8 were such a revelation to me cuz when i was a kid i would always use the magic flute trick to skip past them. i think world 7's jungle archipelago was my favorite tho

Gah I was not patient enough for World 7; I think it was 7-1, with the undergrouynd pipe maze that sent you all the way back down to the bottom w/ one wrong move. It was such a pain in the ass and the level with its utilitarian 'black background and shitloads of pipe' aesthetic just didn't reward the ton of time I inevitably spent there. Pipe world just too draining...

World 6, the ice world, was even worse, bcz you couldn't maneuver for shit, but for some reason I loved the idea of ice world, so I tried to hang with it as long as I could before being o'ertaken with despair and double warping to level 8...

i liked the cartoonishly menacing minimalism of those pipe levels, all the black and green and space. i hated the cloud world tho the secrets in those levels were too punishing and unrewarding (all those finnick-y jumps!)

but i also really liked the snakeman levels of mega man

Ha its only recently (with a modded PSP that has most of the NES games on it that my sister had) that I've gotten the hang of any of the Mega Man games...

I spent a lot of time drawing my own World 7 pipe mazes as a kid but part of the thrill was just having mastered freestyling pictures of overlapping contoured tubes.

Ok that's awesome; my prior groans about World 7 aesthetics be damned

Next Week: Just ninja aliens but they're still green.

Since the character in the movie are alien life forms, they can't really be "turtles", can they? And since they come from another planet, which presumably doesn't have a perfect equivalent of Japan and Japanese culture, they can't be "ninjas" either. So logically the new movie should be called Aliens.

lol otm

Hoping someone will make a companion piece called Teenage Mutant. But I guess that's basically Toxic Avenger.