Unemployed Watercooler Fridge Buzz Commiseration, Alienation and Mental Anti-Stagnation Society (DNRIYHM)

What do you mean by work every day, though? Because if I "worked" every day my head would figuratively explode, but that's because I have such a delineation between "work" (meaning databases and crap) and "personal interests" meaning drawing and writing and stuff, and I supposed I could say, it helps to work every day meaning I do drawing or writing every day, but the idea of doing database stuff every day would be completely intolerable.

ARGH.

Anyway, I just had my first phoner interview / CV talkthrough. Which was nervewracking, just because it's been so long. That "why did you leave your last job?" question is an absolute nerve-wracker. I wish my heart wouldn't lurch in my chest when I try to answer that one, it is just heart-rate off the chart and adrenaline response, even as I'm admitting "this is awkward" and trying to explain. I suppose this will get easier with practice, but right now it's completely flummoxing. Not to let that one throw me.

fuck unemployment

i run out of money in a month. i've got a contract job set up in may that'll cover my rent through the summer and buy me two more months to find full time work, but there'll be a gap where i'm short to pay rent in may. as it stands now i'm looking to do gig work through april that i'm hoping will fill out the coffers enough, but if worse comes to worse i may ask 3-4 people for a small loan that cumulatively should cover me til i can pay back a week or so later.

the state of VA won't give me unemployment bcz my previous job didn't deduct anything for it, so i've never paid in, so they won't give me any. and of course i'm near 2 years out of texas, where i paid into unemployment. so that's not an option.

and i'm not pretty enough to bartend.

ugh.

Goodness! An American! You're up early! And welcome.

This is where I count myself v v lucky, in that I planned this for such a long time, and I'm really privileged that I was able to accumulate savings. I need to remind myself of that, that it could be a lot worse.

I hope that something comes through for you to fill in the gap, I know it's the most frustrating feeling in the world "I will have something in a couple of weeks, but I need to pay the rent *now*!!!" and not falling into debt because of it.

What is "gig work"? Is that contracting?

I was lucky too, I've been unemployed for 2 months now and have been making it fine, but I only had 3 months worth put away. I'd have put away more if I'd known I'd need it, of course (low rent & high pay meant that two weeks notice would have been two months rent!) but I got no notice at my last job at all. It was literally "we've decided we no longer require your services, and today will be your last day."

When I say "gig work" I just mean one-off jobs: ghostwriting, transcription, short-term content creation, that sort of thing, that would earn me enough with what's still set aside to cover May. Alternately I can ask a parent each, a friend, and my lady friend to band up and cover me til that first check comes in. Split four ways my rent isn't so bad at all.

This May gig will only be a month, but it'll cover me through to September. If I still haven't found something by late July I'm even considering hotel jobs, which is a nightmarish and sad thought given that I resigned a management spot 3 years ago resolved never to go back. But such is the deal. I've had 4 interviews, all four of which I felt quite good about, but they've all turned me down for reasons that remain a mystery to me.

Also I'm not so much up early as up late--the sleep schedule has gradually shifted over the last month to keep me in bed later in the day and keep me up til longer and longer in the night. I should probably do something about that.

That always happens when you're unemployed, though, doesn't it? Your sleep schedule shifts to what is actually more "natural" for you. I've actually been getting up earlier and earlier because my huge windows and poor coverings let so much light in. I was up at 7, which is distinctly odd.

Can you turn that "gig work" into a steady drip? Chasing freelance stuff like that is a pain in the arse, but if you can get it to land regularly, that can turn into something which covers a lot of holes. Or is chasing it as much of a full time job as looking for "proper" work?

Two months is not actually that long a time, at least in my experience - how long did it take to find a job last time? I totally know that panic feeling, when you're down to your last chunk of money - but that's exactly when something usually turns up.

That no-notice thing, that sucks though, that really is a kick in the teeth. (I gave no notice, but I quit on payday.) But if you can get clear to September - that's ages, that gives you loads of time. It will be alright!

Two months isn't so long, you're right, but given DC's unemployment numbers (and the experience of a couple of friends) I thought I'd be back at it a month ago. Last time I was unemployed it took about two and a half months to find something, and it just makes me wish I had one more month's savings put away to take the stress off.

I always wish I had another month's savings. And another. But - in my experience only - it's that last push of desperation that makes me actually go the extra mile that finds something.

That said, that was how I ended up in my last job, and we all know how badly that turned out, so perhaps that isn't the greatest course to follow.

Getting back to being Britishes for a minute...

PASTY TAX?!?!?! what's that about?

I thought my Cornish friends were making it up, but apparently it is a real thing in the world.

The 'pasty tax' needs to be dropped | Politicus - Connecting People ...
www.politicus.org.uk/news/the-pasty-tax-needs-to-be-dropped
You +1'd this publicly. Undo
Plans by the Government to introduce VAT on hot takeaway food from bakeries and supermarkets will actually mean a pasty tax which will cost Cornwall jobs.

There's a facebook page called "Say not to the Pasty Tax", the papers are all over the Granny Tax at the mo, but the pasty's day will come..

pasty tax????

Toll an Pasti!

I put a link on the politics page. The Cornish are already up in arms over Granny Tax, I suspect armed rebellion is on its way. I volunteer Streatham Common as somewhat safer than Blackheath...

Urgh, we need to fire our employee but it means a six month pay out. ARGH!

Oh god, my heart feels for you. That has to be the hardest decision to have to make.

To fire someone? If it's for your own survival, then no. I know that sounds pretty cold, but consider making a choice of feeding your kids or keeping someone on (and going bankrupt). The decision is hard in this way: where the f will we find that money?

As heartless as it sounds, I meant that decision as well. Going broke over the course of the next year or going broke in one big bang.

6 month payout !
blimey how long have they worked for you ?
in my world the normal rules = 1 weeks pay per year of employment

Yes but Nath lives in socialist welfare paradise, aka Europe, where there are actual unions and proper labour laws.

ahh .. had no idea things were that heavily weighted to the employee.

yet another insight into how f*cked the uk workers are.

(but still things are better than US side .. at the moment)

I do understand employees should be protected, but what about employers? Like in our case, where we might face bankruptcy if we do not act quickly (and the crisis goes away). There are solutions of course, but still... I mean, fuck, we can't afford a six month payout.

She has been working for about 10 years now.

I understand the protection employees have now: we fucked'em over for way too long. Time to make a change. lol.

(Also, self-employed people can not have any unemployment income the first six months. lol Employees might be fucked over in the UK and US, employers here are pretty much on the same level: such high taxes,......)

Anyway, in the grand scheme of things, I am okay. It's a bad situation, but I do think we shouldn't complain THAT much: health is good (knock on wood). That's much more important!

I had a Watercoolery dream last week after reading the introverts article from the Graun linked above and having read a vaguely maths-related Ted Chiang short story just before bed, in which I and I alone had determined that introverts were in fact odd numbers, and extraverts were even numbers, and this knowledge was going to save mankind in some way

good luck to all ILXors with employment/money worries

That is the best dream ever.

And prime numbers (being mostly odd), are introverts that just know!.

Primes as extra special reclusive genius introverts*? Maybe there's something to it after all...

(* oh wait, I think I derided that one as a sexist myth upthread. don't expect me to be consistent in my internet rantings, please)

WCC, save me from myself and the maddening internet arguments I get myself into on Saturday afternoons.

What are you arguing about?

I'm right in the middle of making a cheesecake. Penderecki may be involved. (No, I'm not slashing him, it's just in the set-up. That would be BAD.)

I'm arguing with a bunch of mansplaining neckbeards about whether or not the female brain is capable of enjoying film scores instead of the usual female diet of romantic comedies and issues of Cosmo. It's literally the stupidest argument I've ever had in my life.

Evopsych was the worst thing to ever happen to the internet.

For a start, do they know any actual women? Like, whose surname isn't .gif ? And for a second, "female brain" - what is that, I can't even.

Don't be silly, we don't enjoy film scores at all. We just gawp at Jonny Greenwood's cheekbones and oddly rhomboid jawline. What do I know, I think violin flourishes sound like serifs.

I mean, they might be right, because I don't watch films at all, ever. But that might be because my "female brain" is literally unable to actually process films that don't pass the Bechdel Test without glazing over and dying of boredom. Quick, pass me Marie Claire I need to pick next season's eyeshadow.

RETCH. Idiots aren't worth time.

Me, I'm counting down until Jonny starts making Thom wear a doo-rag like Marek Mos. I can't wait, that will be awesome.

Anyone who tries to tell you about evopsych, just ask them what hunter gatherer tribes they've spent time with recently. Because most modern humans can't even conceive of what our environment was like before the Industrial Revolution, let alone what is was before the tiny crust of time that spawned the Agrarian Revolution, how can they even talk about evopsych without quoting their sources. Citations or GTFO.

I just really need to stay away from all 90% male special interest internet forums.

This is actually an incredibly invaluable lesson to learn.

And it's weird that I say that, because I've spent so much of my life in male dominated and male coded spaces IRL, and my attitude in them was always that... I had as much right to be there as they did, and I would stand up for myself, and women in general, but more in the sense of leading by example, and if, say, the Sys Admin said something sexist, I'd just look at him and cough and challenge him on it in a jokey way, and slowly, I'd start to make headway. Like, my being a woman in that space, and just existing there, would slowly start to change their ideas about What Women Were.

But on the internet, that doesn't seem to happen. There's this synergy that once a forum becomes overwhelmingly male, it just seems to generate its own momentum and resistance to, like... reality?

I used to really try to stick it out on mostly-male forums with the same intentions, of opening up space by just existing there. And it really started to wear on me, and make me angry, and unhappy. And I would wonder why I was so miserable all the time, to the point where I didn't actually like who I was, when I was in those spaces. So I stopped. And I magically stopped being so angry and unhappy all the time! (obviously I still am, some of the time) But things one can avoid... it's sometimes a good idea to avoid them. And it sucks, but if it makes you less unhappy, less unhappy is a good state.

I happened to look at this thread for the first time today... Melissa W, I've often wondered if there were any other Ilxors who also follow the F$M message boards, and now I see there's at least one. That place frustrates me no end. I'm fascinated/obsessed by film music but the level of emotional intelligence on that board is pretty appalling. Even a lot of the ppl whose music-related comments I respect greatly begin to reveal themselves as clods when subjects like this come up. Sadly, I don't know of a better place to talk about film scores on the web. ILX has certainly never engaged deeply on the subject.

Hello Jon and welcome, thanks for saying something.

I've been kinda thinking about this, because this is the kind of thing that rattles around my head and irritates me.

And I guess I started it with that quip about "do they know any actual women" because I didn't think that this was a serious discussion, I thought what would be best was just "sneer at the bad people and make jokes about TY's hair bcuz that will cheer up MW"

But now I'm thinking about it, it's like... actually, they *do* know at least one actual woman. They know MW. They just choose *not* to listen to her, because women are, you know, not worth paying attention to because we have silly ladybrains and only care about rom-coms and Cosmo magazine.

But then when you go and use a word like lack of "emotional intelligence" to describe this behaviour. Um, no. that's not the right word. Because people who can discuss films, and soundtracks, and the emotional effect of sound upon vision and how music and plot work together etc etc yadda yadda - that actually shows quite a high level of emotional literacy.

So this idea that these men are dismissing the ideas of one woman in specific and all women in general - something makes me think, hey, this is not down to lack of emotional literacy. This is down to a deep level bias, a prejudice - and that has a name and that name is sexism. You can dress it up in sciencey sounding clothes, and then it's neurosexism - but this thing, of why it's still somehow such a *surprise* to other men, that intelligent, cultured men with good taste can carry around unchallenged prejudices like sexism? Don't dress it up and excuse it and call it something it isn't, because that's kind of enabling of more continued prejudice.

Anyway, sorry, this was probably the wrong thread and I should just make a Thonny reference to make everything happy-happy again, but I just wanted to say that.

Sexism, like racism, is a branch of 'pejudice'.

The idea that you can be pre-judged by people who know little about you.

pre-judice, obv

Well, you're right that 'emotional intelligence' is not what's lacking in these guys' attitudes toward women and ideas about 'how women process art' etc-- it is plain sexism. And i know it's dumb that it surprises me sometimes when it turns out someone who I thought I respected holds these prejudices.

But I was meaning to cite 'emotional intelligence' as a global problem with that board, which is to say these guys interact with other like children, constantly attacking/trolling each other over the tiniest perceived slights, holding these annoying vendettas against each other, etc etc, so that it's a lucky thing if there even is any discussion of music. And then one of the few posters who actually does talk about music intelligently shows his colors as an old school sexist and it's just ugh fuck life.

ITT I basically just wanted to give a shout-out to a fellow film music nerd and say 'sorry about those assholes.'

I didn't see your responses until now! Have you posted in that thread/what's your user name? I don't post on FSM much but I'm glad to find that someone else on ILX also posts there. I wish there were a better place to read about and discuss film music. It's far from my main musical passion, but I do enjoy having a nice discussion about Herrmann from time to time.

OK, that makes sense, Jon, thanks for the clarification. And yeah, I suppose I should find it more surprising but I'm cynical - and find it more disappointed than surprising, I guess.

Film music is, oddly, one of my blind spots - in that it's something I should know a lot more about than I do, but that's mostly a result of my film deafness, rather than lack of interest, because, actually, I think the first 2 (possibly 3?) albums I ever bought were all soundtracks, back when albums were something I bought once every 6 months when I'd saved up my pocket money. I often think that it *should* be a way in, to film, for me. And many of the films I've managed to love or even obsess over, are ones where the soundtracking is very important to it - I guess I'm thinking of the close association between sci fi (and horror) and early electronic music. (Ironically, the only film of the past 10 years or so, whose soundtrack really moved me was Moon)

Could you maybe do an ILX thread? (Not sure if it would go on ILE or ILF or ILM) Is there one already?

lol your display name

(I had to write a cheesecake with that name. I just *had* to.)

Where do you post such things when you're done with them?

The Cheesecake Archive but I don't think that one is approved yet.

What user name are you using there?

My primary interest in the last 15 or so years has been classical music; I started getting fascinated with film music about 4 years ago because of how it uses the classical music toolbox to accomplish a quite different set of aims. I actually don't even see very many movies! I prefer to listen to the composers' angle on the story and let my sense of the film be sort of vaporous/vague.

I don't think there's ever been a hardy film music thread on ILM. Actually, I feel like a lot of ppl who would comment on such a thread keep to the ILE side. Maybe it's worth a try though.

(Melissa, my user name on fsm is my real name. I post rather sparsely there but read it frequently).

Yeah, for me my interest in film music is an extension of my interest in classical music. I'm not into the geeking out over Jerry Goldsmith or John Williams side of it at all (which most of FSM seems to be).

I really like megaliths. And long barrows. And White Horses. And megalithic long barrows that happen to be in the Vale of the White Horse near the Wlitshire / Oxfordshire border where the PRS has rambled and Pop was buried? Put those together - or just look on the recent stories, you'll work it out.

Sorry to be so cryptic. I'm still weird about it.

Jon that might be a cool thread - I know I've had discussions w ILXors (ESP Elvis Telecom) but that might have been on twitter.

X-post ok that's probably me and my Vangelis records out. ;-)

And I've just realized you were asking Jon not me so disregard previous post, stupid iPhone.

No, I asked you as well!

Are you on there? You can leave cryptic clues or just email me if you don't want to unmask.