fuck the assholes who write copy for Groupon

has there ever been another billion dollar business that was 100% dependent on millions of people setting themselves up to be mad or disappointed?

― iatee, Saturday, March 10, 2012 3:13 PM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

how do you mean? i've used them before & been happy w/ it ...

or do you mean the restaurants?

both sides seem to get burned pretty regularly

most of the examples in that article are idiots buying shit they didn't actually want. like buying ... anything, its buyer beware.

I had an interview with groupon last week to write this sort of stuff. I would hate them too but need the work, which it looks like I haven't got. So, yeah, fuck them.

the companies often get fucked w/ Groupon.

Groupon usually tries to keep 100% of the revenues from the groupon, but will occasionally be so kind as to split it 50/50. Their logic is "the customer almost always spends a larger amount than the value of the Groupon". which isn't always true.

Groupon copywriter loathes his job:

"Features
7"x11" softcover photobook
20 pages hold up to 150 failed self-taken profile pictures
Photos uploaded directly from Facebook albums
Arranged in a theme of your choosing
Crop and move photos within online photobook template"

http://www.groupon.com/deals/gg-ca-rexall-custom-photobook

Also contains sentence "photos you upload directly from Facebook albums or surveillance drones."

hah, once you notice that stuff like "Each album boasts a customer-chosen theme and holds photos that can be cropped and moved around in the most eye-pleasing arrangement" really starts to sound just as harsh

Celebrate the Man Who Gave Birth to You

He felt you grow and kick inside of him for nine months—
thank him with deals on Father's Day gifts.

does Groupon know something about my father that I don't

Yes.

h8 when Groupon writers try to be "funny"

I always think of this guy when I read the "funny" groupon copy:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_0qLxIzEndA

hahahaha

https://livingsocial.com/events/cities/1171-georgetown-foggy-bottom/683996-djing-with-biz-markie-presented-by-stanton

I was waiting for it, and it delivered in the last sentence

u_u

umair haque
‏@umairh
Hey, what is that "1,2,3,4" song that came out a few years back? Was that Ting Tings?

So dip your brush or tune your ear to what’s happening on F Street -- you won’t be disappointed.

amirite?

haha oops wrong "assholes" thread

groupon is fucking crazy

http://i.imgur.com/5cYYGme.png

lol @ thread title too

really hope they're stroking the mouth BEFORE the anus

what's a skin vagina

Glad to know Groupon still has skin vagina in the game.

if you include the sushi at the bottom that is a real solid date night

lol I almost made a very similar post

so what are you doing later?

getting kicked out of the sushi place when I ask if the vulcan love roll only has salmon skin

I think I've used this like twice in my life, but get so many emails. They seem to be really pushing these faintly scammy-looking lottery ticket broker websites recently

I dodged the bullet of becoming one of these titular assholes thanks to my famed lack of follow-through in the face of opportunity. Whew!