Getting married and blowing off your friends without warning, C/D S/D

so you live in a very large warehouse loft y/n

ha i meant space as in...time

though physical space is crucial too, i don't really feel like the idea of living with a partner appeals. i like the tim burton/helena bonham carter model of separate, adjoining houses

in the vast emptiness of space

I don't mind talking on the phone, I just hate making phone calls.

Having a stutter makes phones conversations painful for both me and the other person, I've even lost job opportunities because of it.

:(

my Dad stutters, I totally understand that.

I'm good in person but on the phone I sometimes can't even get a word out.

i am probably guilty of this :(
i still go out to shows and see some friends that way, but the idea of going out for drinks after work has become foreign to me. kinda sucks sometimes.

I did learn that moving countries placed most of the responsibility of staying in touch on me, since everyone else's life was pretty much unchanged, they sort of adapted pretty quickly to me not being around, and it was my job to say hey I'm over here missing you guys what's up, etc. I was never that kind of friend before that, so it was a big adjustment. But fuuuuuck it helped me so much with homesickness etc.

Yeah this is so true. I actually quite enjoy just emailing a person with a 'hey! what's up!' if they pop into my head. I will defend Facebook forever as well for the 'ambient awareness' (although I'm p sure at least two not-very-close friends have had secret babies in the last 6 months or so)

lol secret babies

kinder otm -- Facebook has been awesome for letting me stay in touch with a wider circle of friends than I would have if it was just me and email, and the 'ambient awareness' is def key where distance is a factor.

I've definitely withdrawn from most of my friends in the past several years (except work friends of course, since I see them all the time). It wasn't getting married that caused this, though. I think it was my job getting more demanding. Then I felt like my first priority for whatever "free time" I had left ought to be to my wife. Next priority (very recently) is preparing for the new baby! Third priority is doing chores/fixing things around the house. Fourth priority is to family (which means I don't see them too often), fifth is to friends (who I almost never see now), and finally, the last priority is to myself (downtime, hobbies, etc. which I never EVER have time for anymore). So yeah, I barely ever see my friends anymore, but that's only partly, indirectly due to getting married. It's more about growing up and having way more responsibilities than I used to. It doesn't help that they are all busy/married/growing up too, and our free time hardly ever occurs at the same time. And even if it does, I'm usually too tired from the workweek to even make an effort anymore.

Facebook just irritates me anymore because it's just a constant reminder of all the people I should talk to because it's so convenient and easy now, but I'm ignoring them because I'm too busy/tired/etc. or they've changed, or I've changed, or I'm horrified at something they posted, or whatever. Before Facebook, there were so many people I wished I could get back in touch with- now, I'm Facebook friends with all of them, and I can see some of what's going on in their lives, and maybe they can see some of what's going on in mine, but that's about as far as I want it to go. Since I don't have time to contact everyone that I feel like I should, it makes me not want to contact anyone. It's just too overwhelming.

You don't have to write long paragraphs every time, you know. A line or two reminds people that you care!

Hahaha, for a horrifying second I thought you were chiding me for the long-ish posts! But you're right, I should make more of an effort, and it wouldn't take much.

and if that means blowing other friends off, eh, i'm okay with that.

!!! very good friend to have