― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Thursday, 14 August 2003 09:57 (twenty years ago) link
But if I were asking for help, I'm sure this would not be helping.
― David. (Cozen), Thursday, 14 August 2003 10:23 (twenty years ago) link
however, it can be a bit creepy if people are too lecherous on the tube or bus. just smile at someone first, to see if they're even interested in making eye contact.
― colette (a2lette), Thursday, 14 August 2003 13:05 (twenty years ago) link
If N. didn't consistently use this line, he would never date.
― Larcole (Nicole), Thursday, 14 August 2003 13:10 (twenty years ago) link
― Andrew Thames (Andrew Thames), Thursday, 14 August 2003 13:14 (twenty years ago) link
Meaning he does date? But you've always insisted otherwise.
― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 14 August 2003 13:36 (twenty years ago) link
― praying mantis (praying mantis), Thursday, 14 August 2003 13:38 (twenty years ago) link
― Andrew Thames (Andrew Thames), Thursday, 14 August 2003 13:41 (twenty years ago) link
― Don (Mikey G), Thursday, 14 August 2003 13:56 (twenty years ago) link
― Dave B (daveb), Thursday, 14 August 2003 14:05 (twenty years ago) link
― mark p (Mark P), Thursday, 14 August 2003 14:09 (twenty years ago) link
Like I say, fingers burnt myself, hope it's someone else mate.
― Dalston Boy (Mikey G), Thursday, 14 August 2003 14:17 (twenty years ago) link
― Ricardo (RickyT), Thursday, 14 August 2003 14:22 (twenty years ago) link
― RJG (RJG), Thursday, 14 August 2003 14:26 (twenty years ago) link
― Mikey G (Mikey G), Thursday, 14 August 2003 14:29 (twenty years ago) link
in what way is victoria to stokie a heart?
― CarsmileSteve (CarsmileSteve), Thursday, 14 August 2003 14:30 (twenty years ago) link
― Mikey G (Mikey G), Thursday, 14 August 2003 14:33 (twenty years ago) link
― Dave B (daveb), Thursday, 14 August 2003 14:36 (twenty years ago) link
― Mikey G (Mikey G), Thursday, 14 August 2003 14:41 (twenty years ago) link
i. one-way system at victoriaii. hyde park corner roundaboutiii. one-way system at piccadillyiv. one-way system at hackney central v. lea bridge roundabout
i, iii and iv are all heart-shaped, more or less (well less, really, but not as less as a roundabout is)
(also i + iii + iv = 8 which is the shape of two hearts forever intertwined)
― mark s (mark s), Thursday, 14 August 2003 14:47 (twenty years ago) link
I can never quite think of what to say.
''however, it can be a bit creepy if people are too lecherous on the tube or bus. just smile at someone first, to see if they're even interested in making eye contact.''
I have never seen anyone ask or try to chat up someone on the tube or bus. has anyone?
― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Thursday, 14 August 2003 15:23 (twenty years ago) link
a friend of mine got picked up in a parking lot. it was her apartment parking lot, and the guy lived there too, and they ran into each other and made small talk a couple of times before he asked her out though. that sort of scenario could be creepy though, especially at night.
― JuliaA (j_bdules), Thursday, 14 August 2003 15:51 (twenty years ago) link
― Dave B (daveb), Thursday, 14 August 2003 16:05 (twenty years ago) link
― can can, Friday, 15 August 2003 11:59 (twenty years ago) link
― Cozen (Cozen), Monday, 1 September 2003 10:16 (twenty years ago) link
― Cozen (Cozen), Monday, 1 September 2003 10:17 (twenty years ago) link
― Ronan (Ronan), Monday, 1 September 2003 10:28 (twenty years ago) link
― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Monday, 1 September 2003 10:41 (twenty years ago) link
― Andrew Thames (Andrew Thames), Monday, 1 September 2003 10:43 (twenty years ago) link
― Cozen (Cozen), Monday, 1 September 2003 10:50 (twenty years ago) link
― Andrew Thames (Andrew Thames), Monday, 1 September 2003 10:56 (twenty years ago) link
― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Monday, 1 September 2003 11:21 (twenty years ago) link
― Cozen (Cozen), Monday, 1 September 2003 11:24 (twenty years ago) link
― Cozen (Cozen), Monday, 1 September 2003 11:25 (twenty years ago) link
― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Monday, 1 September 2003 11:25 (twenty years ago) link
500 posts by tomorrow morning on this plz.
― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Monday, 1 September 2003 11:27 (twenty years ago) link
― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Monday, 1 September 2003 11:37 (twenty years ago) link
― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Monday, 1 September 2003 11:58 (twenty years ago) link
I need a specific form of words to convey 'Am I your girlfriend or not' but not those exact words. And I need them not to scare the person off. I'm not planning to use them yet but keep them in abeyance for the right moment.
― ljubljana, Friday, 11 September 2009 10:41 (fourteen years ago) link
Why does it matter?
I'm not asking that facetiously, I'm wondering which part of girlfriendness you wish to ascertain your right to - and then ask that question instead.
Like, "Is this exclusive?" or "Is this short-term, or are you thinking longer?" or "Is this just sex, or is this emotional?"
OK, maybe those questions are even worse than "Am I yr girlfriend or not." But perhaps you could think which part of girlfriendness is important to you, and ask yourself if those needs are getting met or not.
― Evren Kader (Masonic Boom), Friday, 11 September 2009 10:46 (fourteen years ago) link
take her to see '500 days of summer'. groan loudly when zooey is fending off this question.
― history mayne, Friday, 11 September 2009 10:50 (fourteen years ago) link
Good question Kate. I know it's exclusive at the moment and believe I'd be told if there were any plans to change that/if it suddenly changed. I already know that due to complications (divorce, job problems, general hard time) he's not sure whether he wants an LTR right now or not. But he's also asking me whether I want children, how long I'll stay in the US, etc. - like a very upfront compatibility check.
I know really that the best thing to do if I really like him (which I do) is be patient and not ask anything, but that's hard especially as he's immersed in work and I can't see him till October (deadline). At the moment we're just doing email and occasional phone calls, which have got much shorter since the deadline thing kicked in.
xpost love this idea history mayne!
― ljubljana, Friday, 11 September 2009 10:58 (fourteen years ago) link
1. Drop the phrase 'my boyfriend' or 'your girlfriend' offhand into the most casual of conversation with him.2. Check reaction.3. PROFIT???
― Matt DC, Friday, 11 September 2009 11:00 (fourteen years ago) link
I think he would see straight through this.
― ljubljana, Friday, 11 September 2009 11:05 (fourteen years ago) link
I mean, just casually refer to him as your boyfriend, not pretend there's another mysterious boyfriend lurking somewhere.
― Matt DC, Friday, 11 September 2009 11:06 (fourteen years ago) link
Hrmmm. I know that I'm a cynical bitch and all, but I can't help thinking... does he really like you as much as you really like him? You can say this "ooh, issues due to divorce" and "job problems" and "general hard time" - but the thing is, there will *always* be job stress and hard times.
OK, people can go through bad periods in their life that clear up. But my suspicions are that if he's not OH YAY making time for you and being excited about the relationship when it's fresh and new, is this only going to get worse, rather than better? If you are really excited about a person, you make the time to meet them, even if it's nonstandard dating practices. If a person's priorities are not about having a relationships right now, then taht person won't make the time for that relationship.
But that goes back to the "are your needs getting met?" question to decide whether you're willing to take that chance or not.
― Evren Kader (Masonic Boom), Friday, 11 September 2009 11:12 (fourteen years ago) link
"Do you want children" and "How long are you staying in the country" are just standard box-ticking exercises, not indicative of any specific interest in you. I've made that mistake before. It's like the relationship equivalent of asking what team you support or something. Doesn't mean anything more than that.
― Evren Kader (Masonic Boom), Friday, 11 September 2009 11:14 (fourteen years ago) link
give him a note that says "do u want to be my boyfriend?" with YES and NO checkboxes.
― call all destroyer, Friday, 11 September 2009 11:19 (fourteen years ago) link
MAYBE????
― CEO OF MY LYFE (Upt0eleven), Friday, 11 September 2009 11:24 (fourteen years ago) link
Seriously, there are still people in this world so stunted as to be actively scared if the person they were seeing referred to them as their "boyfriend"?!
Jesusfuck.
― CEO OF MY LYFE (Upt0eleven), Friday, 11 September 2009 11:25 (fourteen years ago) link
EDB is ed b. iirc?
― kelp, clam and carrion (sic), Saturday, 16 June 2018 04:13 (five years ago) link
this sounds nice! ride the wave imo, wherever it leads seems like it'll be a good place
ime this is never the case but I earnestly appreciate the optimism!!
― Simon H., Sunday, 17 June 2018 06:15 (five years ago) link
The ending of Let the Sunshine In should be a good lead in for drinks on a 3rd date.
― xyzzzz__, Sunday, 17 June 2018 09:49 (five years ago) link
Good luck Simon. sounds positive
― My name is the Pope and in the 90s I smoked a lot of dope (dog latin), Sunday, 17 June 2018 10:40 (five years ago) link
you can do it simon.
― homosexual II, Sunday, 17 June 2018 17:58 (five years ago) link
Go Simon!!!
I had a stellar day with a lady Friday and I look forward to the next time. I’m patient and not pushing things too hard but I take it as a good sign that she stayed up with me from early afternoon to midnight /)
― sunburst N snowblind (Ross), Sunday, 17 June 2018 18:17 (five years ago) link
I am about to tell you an epic tale about subterfuge, dating in the 21st century and the fall of human civilization. This actually happened to me and it could happen to you too. Get some popcorn. *Thread*— миша (@bvdhai) August 19, 2018
― mookieproof, Monday, 20 August 2018 17:45 (five years ago) link
completely nuts
PS my thing went nowhere lol
― wayne trotsky (Simon H.), Monday, 20 August 2018 17:46 (five years ago) link
saw that earlier via max tundra retweeting an ilxor, which felt weird
― imago, Monday, 20 August 2018 17:59 (five years ago) link
Max Tundra is extremely online
― 16, 35, DCP, Go! (sic), Monday, 20 August 2018 19:34 (five years ago) link
Emily Witt writes well on Feeld, online dating during and post- pandemic, with a couple of lines on Roe. All pretty well handled.
https://www.newyorker.com/culture/annals-of-inquiry/feeld-dating-app-sex
― xyzzzz__, Thursday, 11 August 2022 13:32 (one year ago) link
Though it could've been better if someone from The Queer community wrote it but that's not The New Yorker.
― xyzzzz__, Thursday, 11 August 2022 13:49 (one year ago) link
Nothing is enjoyable anymore.
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2023/jul/22/is-housing-crisis-killing-romance-modern-dating-jane-austen
― xyzzzz__, Saturday, 22 July 2023 11:32 (nine months ago) link
Obviously it's all very middle-class. Partners can't get out of abusive relationships due to scarcity of a safe, affordable space. But you can see this stuff extending through society.
― xyzzzz__, Saturday, 22 July 2023 12:07 (nine months ago) link
this has been "a thing" in the SF Bay Area for quite a while. ... the article definitely has that middle class focus, (to the point where I lost patience with it) but the housing crisis/relationship "stuck-ness" is harder on poorer people.
― sarahell, Saturday, 22 July 2023 15:38 (nine months ago) link
It's another category of gofundme campaign now ... along with "help pay medical bills" ... that is a clear example how broken "the system" is.
― sarahell, Saturday, 22 July 2023 15:40 (nine months ago) link
Sarahell otm. Of course everything is harder on poorer people, and one still hears the standard advice "well, then don't be poor."
― Some people call me Maurice Chevalier (Ye Mad Puffin), Saturday, 22 July 2023 15:52 (nine months ago) link
Yeah I couldn't finish that piece either.
― xyzzzz__, Saturday, 22 July 2023 17:52 (nine months ago) link