Battleship...the movie

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aldo you're really good at this

Janet Snakehole (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 21 February 2012 22:35 (2 years ago) Permalink

If only it paid the bills.

Aunt Acid and the Gaviscons (aldo), Tuesday, 21 February 2012 22:44 (2 years ago) Permalink

And also, arguably, hie thee to my I Love Comics thread where I have reviewed DC's output for the past six months in order to play fast and loose with my sanity.

Aunt Acid and the Gaviscons (aldo), Tuesday, 21 February 2012 22:48 (2 years ago) Permalink

> there is a burned doll

how'd it get burned

> there is a burned doll

how'd it get burned

> there is a burned doll

how'd it get burned

> there is a burned doll

how'd it get burned

> there is a burned doll

how'd it get burned

> there is a burned doll

how'd it get burned

Critique of Pure Moods (goole), Tuesday, 21 February 2012 22:50 (2 years ago) Permalink

lmao

max, Tuesday, 21 February 2012 22:51 (2 years ago) Permalink

WARNING: you probably need to know something about my references to get the most out of it i.e. you should really understand a fair bit about shitty modern comics to get a lot of it. If you have little idea about who Geoff Johns is and how I hate him you will get less out of it. </pimping my stuff>

Aunt Acid and the Gaviscons (aldo), Tuesday, 21 February 2012 22:53 (2 years ago) Permalink

I just clicked over and read through that thread. I had used the New 52 as an opportunity to try to get back into DC after many, many years, hoping they'd disentangled continuity crap that I couldn't be bothered with, and after 5 issues I've pretty much given up on all of them except Animal Man, Batgirl and Batwoman. Action and Superman are such a mess I can't be arsed, and Detective started strong and went straight into the crapper. Should I keep up w/Wonder Woman y/n?

A Full Torgo Apparition (Phil D.), Tuesday, 21 February 2012 23:38 (2 years ago) Permalink

Y

Aunt Acid and the Gaviscons (aldo), Wednesday, 22 February 2012 07:55 (2 years ago) Permalink

to his proctologist:

"i want to have this thoroughly investigated"

Little GTFO (contenderizer), Wednesday, 22 February 2012 08:35 (2 years ago) Permalink

The Mastermind box deconstruction thread already has the plot of Mastermind: The Movie.

Stockhausen's Ekranoplan Quartet (Elvis Telecom), Wednesday, 22 February 2012 09:06 (2 years ago) Permalink

Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 22 February 2012 17:13 (2 years ago) Permalink

"YOU CAN STAND UNDER MY UMBRELLA! AND BY UMBRELLA I MEAN MACHINE GUN-UN-UN-UN!"

A Full Torgo Apparition (Phil D.), Wednesday, 22 February 2012 17:15 (2 years ago) Permalink

rumpapapum rumpapapum shot a battleship down

piggyback payoff (NZA), Wednesday, 22 February 2012 20:45 (2 years ago) Permalink

Dolores O'Riordan is in this, too?

(thinks and smiles) (DJP), Wednesday, 22 February 2012 20:47 (2 years ago) Permalink

http://www.cinemablend.com/images/news/29550/Rihanna_Wields_Multiple_Massive_Guns_New_Battleship_Images_1329851796.jpg

this was the look on her face when chris martin called her to colab

piggyback payoff (NZA), Wednesday, 22 February 2012 20:48 (2 years ago) Permalink

doh

piggyback payoff (NZA), Wednesday, 22 February 2012 20:49 (2 years ago) Permalink

2 weeks pass...

i work with some guys who worked on this and claim she's one of the worst human beings on the planet.

Fetchboy, Saturday, 10 March 2012 03:29 (2 years ago) Permalink

i'm still trying to process how this whole film isn't a colossal joke.

kurwa mać (Polish for "long life") (Eisbaer), Saturday, 10 March 2012 03:36 (2 years ago) Permalink

wait...how isn't it

Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Saturday, 10 March 2012 03:42 (2 years ago) Permalink

That is truly a stupid two minutes.

Ned Raggett, Tuesday, 13 March 2012 18:45 (2 years ago) Permalink

Battleship Independence Alien Iron Man Day

Ned Raggett, Tuesday, 13 March 2012 18:46 (2 years ago) Permalink

hahahah ugh

Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 13 March 2012 18:51 (2 years ago) Permalink

this is one Tim Riggins movie I doubt I will turn the corner on

Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 13 March 2012 18:51 (2 years ago) Permalink

The trailer was on before John Carter OF MARS last night, and it looked like stupid, stupid, stupid fun. I was almost tempted.

Sick Mouthy (Scik Mouthy), Tuesday, 13 March 2012 18:54 (2 years ago) Permalink

Oh yay.

http://io9.com/5894180/our-first-look-at-battleships-mysterious-aliens

Alex interrupts him, and sends Cora to the control deck while he leads the alien out onto the deck. He gets the crap more or less beaten out of him, but he and Cora have a plan. He buys her time to aim one of the cannons point-blank at the alien's head. It turns around to see the cannon about to be fired. Rihanna quips, "Mahalo, motherfucker" — and the cannon blows the alien away.

Ned Raggett, Saturday, 17 March 2012 23:39 (2 years ago) Permalink

Namaste, motherfucker

ledge, Sunday, 18 March 2012 01:04 (2 years ago) Permalink

peace be with you, dickhead

arsenio and old ma$e (m bison), Sunday, 18 March 2012 01:19 (2 years ago) Permalink

Go in peace and love to serve the lord, motherfucker

Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Sunday, 18 March 2012 01:28 (2 years ago) Permalink

So that's what a quip is these days

Not only dermatologists hate her (James Morrison), Sunday, 18 March 2012 07:02 (2 years ago) Permalink

the movie's ... zany sense of humor

Alex tries to win her over by getting her a burrito in five minutes. Unfortunately, the convenience store next door is closed, so Alex decides to break in and get her the burrito anyway. We switch to security cam footage - complete with Pink Panther theme - to see Alex breaking into the store, getting the burrito, and subsequently wrecking most of the merchandise in his attempt to get back out. The scene ends in complete chaos, with Alex running away from - and getting tasered by — the cops, a sequence that causes multiple cars to crash into each other to avoid hitting him. But hey — he gets Brooklyn Decker the burrito, and a true love is born.

Fuck OFF!

Not only dermatologists hate her (James Morrison), Sunday, 18 March 2012 07:04 (2 years ago) Permalink

"From Hasbro the company that brought you Transformers"

polyphonic, Sunday, 18 March 2012 07:16 (2 years ago) Permalink

2 weeks pass...

so this sounds like starship troopers done sincerely

the aliens are called "thugs"

TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Tuesday, 3 April 2012 11:36 (2 years ago) Permalink

"B-27!"

Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 6 April 2012 16:48 (2 years ago) Permalink

this would have been so awesome if it had the exact same cast but was set at a Battleship tournament

God, Music and Romeo and Juliet (DJP), Friday, 6 April 2012 16:49 (2 years ago) Permalink

battleship the board game involved chain whips? p kinky

dayo, Friday, 6 April 2012 18:23 (2 years ago) Permalink

haha wow i hadn't heard of this till now, this is easily the most half-baked idea for a movie i've ever heard in my life

it will make back the 200 million opening weekend probably

the late great, Friday, 6 April 2012 18:37 (2 years ago) Permalink

I can't see this being anything other than a total flop, but I've been wrong many times before.

stay in school if you want to kiw (Gukbe), Friday, 6 April 2012 19:14 (2 years ago) Permalink

yeah I think there's little likelihood of a John Carter-esque 'you won't believe this but it's actually really fucking great' turnaround.

But then again...Tim Riggins DOES star in this also

Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 6 April 2012 20:03 (2 years ago) Permalink

> there is a burned doll

how'd it get burned

=D (am0n), Friday, 6 April 2012 20:19 (2 years ago) Permalink

lol

Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 6 April 2012 20:31 (2 years ago) Permalink

so in all the film has nothing whatsoever to do with the board game? What is the point in paying the money, I'm assuming there was a licence cost, for the rights to use the board game name?

PSOD (Ste), Friday, 6 April 2012 20:42 (2 years ago) Permalink

just to have the name attached to the movie, I think is what Hasbro wanted

i don't think there was ever much intention to make a movie OF the boardgame - more to reassociate the boardgame with something whizzbang cool so they can remarket it or something idk

Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 6 April 2012 20:47 (2 years ago) Permalink

they should have gone the Tron route. Some kid gets 'sucked' into a real life Batteships board game and has to play the Grid.

PSOD (Ste), Friday, 6 April 2012 20:58 (2 years ago) Permalink

Or like 20 people in a giant Battleship costume

Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 6 April 2012 21:00 (2 years ago) Permalink

That would be some shit-head indie comedy though.

Ned Raggett, Friday, 6 April 2012 21:02 (2 years ago) Permalink

Michel Gondry/Charlie Kaufman present Tweetleship

Ned Raggett, Friday, 6 April 2012 21:02 (2 years ago) Permalink

baahaha

Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 6 April 2012 21:04 (2 years ago) Permalink


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