you must get that from your father
― Janet Snakehole (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 17 February 2012 02:31 (1 year ago) Permalink
Is that a want or a need?
― dream words & nightmare paragraphs from a red factory in a dead town (Abbbottt), Friday, 17 February 2012 02:31 (1 year ago) Permalink
I don't have to like you, I just have to love you.
― drawn to them like a moth toward a spanakopita (Laurel), Friday, 17 February 2012 02:31 (1 year ago) Permalink
This is why we can't have anything nice.
― Nicole, Friday, 17 February 2012 02:32 (1 year ago) Permalink
She liked certain little snippets of poems:
"Life is real, life is earnest, and the grave is not its goal.""Malt does more than Milton can to justify god's ways to man.""The best laid plans o' mice and men gang aft aglay."
Invariable curse: god damn it to hell!
― Aimless, Friday, 17 February 2012 02:34 (1 year ago) Permalink
Home, James and don't spare the horses!
― Janet Snakehole (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 17 February 2012 02:35 (1 year ago) Permalink
^^^ That!
― drawn to them like a moth toward a spanakopita (Laurel), Friday, 17 February 2012 02:37 (1 year ago) Permalink
stone cold and dead in the market
― drawn to them like a moth toward a spanakopita (Laurel), Friday, 17 February 2012 02:38 (1 year ago) Permalink
share with your sisters
― more like slayla (NZA), Friday, 17 February 2012 02:38 (1 year ago) Permalink
you're supposed to be the responsible one
― more like slayla (NZA), Friday, 17 February 2012 02:39 (1 year ago) Permalink
If you're bored I can give you plenty of things to do
― stet, Friday, 17 February 2012 02:40 (1 year ago) Permalink
(in disapproving voice): "....joseph...."
― Prince Rebus (donna rouge), Friday, 17 February 2012 02:40 (1 year ago) Permalink
You only have one sister, and someday when I'm gone, you'll understand what that means.
― drawn to them like a moth toward a spanakopita (Laurel), Friday, 17 February 2012 02:42 (1 year ago) Permalink
oh, for PETE SAKES.
― epistantophus, Friday, 17 February 2012 02:43 (1 year ago) Permalink
Touch it, and I'll break your arm.
― drawn to them like a moth toward a spanakopita (Laurel), Friday, 17 February 2012 02:46 (1 year ago) Permalink
oh, poop!
― Check out these bent items: (arby's), Friday, 17 February 2012 02:47 (1 year ago) Permalink
"(in disapproving voice): "....joseph...."
SCOTT ANTHONY SEWARD!...(any time i swore/farted/burped/was even vaguely ribald)
― scott seward, Friday, 17 February 2012 02:49 (1 year ago) Permalink
I reserve the right to say 'I told you so'
― Janet Snakehole (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 17 February 2012 02:59 (1 year ago) Permalink
children should be seen and not heard
― demolition with discretion (m coleman), Friday, 17 February 2012 03:07 (1 year ago) Permalink
get your elbows off the table
― demolition with discretion (m coleman), Friday, 17 February 2012 03:08 (1 year ago) Permalink
"Tuppence ha'penny looking down on tuppence.""The dogs won't lick your blood.""...even in a joke", as in "don't tell people to shut up, even in a joke," or "don't slap your brother, even in a joke.""If you're not going to do it with a good heart, don't do it at all," (to which my response was always "fine, I won't do it at all, then")."I didn't ask you how you were, I asked you if you wanted a drink.""I like Helen Mirren but I don't like Faye Dunaway," (you'd be surprised how often this comes up).
― trishyb, Friday, 17 February 2012 10:41 (1 year ago) Permalink
If you can't say a nice thing don't say anything at all
― ledge, Friday, 17 February 2012 10:46 (1 year ago) Permalink
My mum is French, so there was the odd mis-translation:
- When my sister was an infant my Mum took her home from the doctor's who had told her she had "cradle crap" - If I'd lost something and she found it for me, she'd say "What is this, chicken?" - Although now a very good English speaker, she still has difficulty with the consonant clusters in "strength" and "length", which end up as "strench" and "lench", which used to confuse me loads.
― The Invisible Superstars (dog latin), Friday, 17 February 2012 11:10 (1 year ago) Permalink
"Drive carefully"--last thing she always said when you headed home from a visit. It was so automatic, she even said it to me once just before I hung up the phone.
― clemenza, Friday, 17 February 2012 11:15 (1 year ago) Permalink
- "we'll all be rooned, said hanrahan"- "it's where you left it"- "if you cant remember what you wanted to tell me it can't have been very important"
― Lindsay NAGL (Trayce), Friday, 17 February 2012 11:19 (1 year ago) Permalink
"You have a CHOICE"
Which then leads to a massive door-slamming row about Agency vs Structure, but that's what happens when your mum has too many degrees from Yale and you're a high school dropout.
― White Chocolate Cheesecake, Friday, 17 February 2012 11:28 (1 year ago) Permalink
Douglas Douglas, strong and able, keep your elbows off the table.
― getting good with gulags (beachville), Friday, 17 February 2012 11:33 (1 year ago) Permalink
"Tuppence ha'penny looking down on tuppence."
Ah, nostalgia for a phrase I never heard.
― Mark G, Friday, 17 February 2012 11:33 (1 year ago) Permalink
stink 'em stank 'em, bee bow buck
― TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Friday, 17 February 2012 11:42 (1 year ago) Permalink
- "if you cant remember what you wanted to tell me it can't have been very important"
YES!
― The Invisible Superstars (dog latin), Friday, 17 February 2012 11:42 (1 year ago) Permalink
a cat may look at a king.
― estela, Friday, 17 February 2012 11:44 (1 year ago) Permalink
Look it up.
― getting good with gulags (beachville), Friday, 17 February 2012 11:48 (1 year ago) Permalink
"he doesn't know if it's Tuesday or oranges"
"you'd laugh to see a pudding crawl"
iirc she inherited both of these from her mother, I have never heard either anywhere else ever
― Sylv_ebanks (DJ Mencap), Friday, 17 February 2012 11:53 (1 year ago) Permalink
second one comes up in autocomplete tho fwiw
― Sylv_ebanks (DJ Mencap), Friday, 17 February 2012 11:54 (1 year ago) Permalink
this phrase is amazing
― desperado, rough rider (thomp), Friday, 17 February 2012 12:10 (1 year ago) Permalink
mainly because i like the idea of an alternative to 'narcissism of small differences'
Please use "you'd laugh to see a pudding crawl" in context. Is there a context?
― trishyb, Friday, 17 February 2012 13:24 (1 year ago) Permalink
"oh dear""well, well, well –– three holes in the ground"
― "renegade" gnome (remy bean), Friday, 17 February 2012 13:27 (1 year ago) Permalink
―demolition with discretion (m coleman), Thursday, February 16, 2012 10:08 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
Erica Erica willing and able get your elbows off the table.
― wolf kabob (ENBB), Friday, 17 February 2012 13:37 (1 year ago) Permalink
Lol I hadn't seen beachville's post.
― wolf kabob (ENBB), Friday, 17 February 2012 13:38 (1 year ago) Permalink
Don't be a goop.
Laurel will get that one.
― wolf kabob (ENBB), Friday, 17 February 2012 13:39 (1 year ago) Permalink
You are the best thing that ever happened to me.
Sweet but v v loaded.
― wolf kabob (ENBB), Friday, 17 February 2012 13:41 (1 year ago) Permalink
Don't make me wash your mouth out with soap!
― wolf kabob (ENBB), Friday, 17 February 2012 13:42 (1 year ago) Permalink
― trishyb, Friday, 17 February 2012 13:24 (26 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
supposing you were reading an excelsior thread and noticed that there was a poster submitting lols there about every five posts, many of which weren't that funny, and you felt you needed to say something
that is what you would say to them
― Sylv_ebanks (DJ Mencap), Friday, 17 February 2012 13:56 (1 year ago) Permalink
- Put your hat on!/Are you wearing a hat? (probably not)- We're not heating the outdoors! (why is it hard for kids to close doors)- elbows off the table! sit up straight! (ugh)- no fighting! (fighting!)- i love you (i love you too...)
― obliquity of the ecliptic (rrrobyn), Friday, 17 February 2012 14:50 (1 year ago) Permalink
over the last decade my mom has heavily used
ISH!
instead of shit or dang or what have you
― tmi but (Z S), Friday, 17 February 2012 14:53 (1 year ago) Permalink
something about the way it sounds makes the hair on the back of my neck standup
i should shave that hair btw
― tmi but (Z S), Friday, 17 February 2012 14:54 (1 year ago) Permalink
"If you're cold, put on a sweater."
― getting good with gulags (beachville), Friday, 17 February 2012 14:54 (1 year ago) Permalink
― getting good with gulags (beachville), Friday, February 17, 2012 8:54 AM (25 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
― flesh, the devil, and a wolf (wolf) (amateurist), Friday, 17 February 2012 15:19 (1 year ago) Permalink
Mom otm about the sweater
― tmi but (Z S), Friday, 17 February 2012 15:22 (1 year ago) Permalink
(she doesnt swear at all, that aside, so if she ever utters "shit" you know she is VERY UPSET)
― Lindsay NAGL (Trayce), Saturday, 18 February 2012 00:14 (1 year ago) Permalink
Nicole, I have been internally chortling all day at yours from v early on: "I should never have had children."
― drawn to them like a moth toward a spanakopita (Laurel), Friday, February 17, 2012 4:15 PM (4 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
this is how i read my mother's urgent "i love you! don't get pregnant!" sign off to ever phone conversation i have ever had with her.
― horseshoe, Saturday, 18 February 2012 01:48 (1 year ago) Permalink
"Let's don't and say we did."
― andrew m., Friday, 2 March 2012 18:16 (1 year ago) Permalink
"take that pirate hat off at the dinner table"
― large ornery cat (blank), Friday, 2 March 2012 18:24 (1 year ago) Permalink
My mom will always opine that the sex scene in a movie was "unnecessary".
― MrDasher, Friday, 2 March 2012 18:29 (1 year ago) Permalink
haha my mom does the same thing -- "it's not that I have a problem with nudity in movies, I just thought it was gratuitous in that case." This is in every case.
― simulation and similac (Hurting 2), Friday, 2 March 2012 19:23 (1 year ago) Permalink
When instead of 'you two' or 'you all' etc my brother and I would say 'youse' my mother would replay 'Ewes are the sheep in the street baa baa'
― Uncle Terry's Tampon Tea (sunny successor), Monday, 5 March 2012 23:33 (1 year ago) Permalink
Also calling a woman 'she' rather than by her name my mother would say 'She is the cats mother'
I still have no clue what this means
― Uncle Terry's Tampon Tea (sunny successor), Monday, 5 March 2012 23:34 (1 year ago) Permalink
To me in particular "My our cat has a long tail"
As a teen I collected every issue of every fashion and music magazine that came out. I would pile these on bookshelves, under my bed, stacked around the room. My mother would say 'I've told you paper attracts rats. THIS ROOM IS A RATS NEST! MY DAUGHTER LIVES IN A RATS NEST!! ARE YOU PROUD OF YOURSELF??? A RAT'S NEST!!!!!'
― Uncle Terry's Tampon Tea (sunny successor), Monday, 5 March 2012 23:38 (1 year ago) Permalink
totally proud btw
― Uncle Terry's Tampon Tea (sunny successor), Monday, 5 March 2012 23:39 (1 year ago) Permalink
She is the cats mother --- all the timeWaste not want not
― Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Monday, 5 March 2012 23:39 (1 year ago) Permalink
i went to stay with a good friend of mine at his parents house in Byron Bay (east coast hippie bullshit town in australia). We were watching some romantic comedy type thing one night. When the actors finally started kissing my friend's father leapt out of his chair, turned to us, and asked in a very loud voice 'Coffee? Tea? Bonox? Anyone?' and then scurried off to the kitchen for the next 20 minutes. I came to realize that any movie we watched where there was anything from kissing to nude scenes to sex he would always do this. "Coffee? Tea? Bonox??". Def the best part of every movie I watched on the vacation.
― Uncle Terry's Tampon Tea (sunny successor), Monday, 5 March 2012 23:46 (1 year ago) Permalink
I have the weirdest bonox
― kinder, Tuesday, 6 March 2012 02:29 (1 year ago) Permalink
"Patience is a virtue, virtue is a grace."
"You can't go out dressed like that!"
and when she's upset, she just says, "Daaaaaammmmmmnnn". Like really drawn out, which is weird, because she grew up in a Polish section of Philadelphia in the 50s and 60s.
― Sophomore subs are the new Smith lesbians. (the table is the table), Tuesday, 6 March 2012 02:45 (1 year ago) Permalink
'stop showing off'
― owenf, Tuesday, 6 March 2012 11:36 (1 year ago) Permalink
Bonox is... beef extract that you drink? Do people often request a Bonox beef drink over coffee or tea?
― carl agatha, Tuesday, 6 March 2012 13:32 (1 year ago) Permalink
― carl agatha, Tuesday, 6 March 2012 13:33 (1 year ago) Permalink
Who am I kidding, I would probably love that stuff.
DELL!!!!
Are you cold?
Why are you sitting in the dark? Here, let me turn on a light for you so you don't go blind
― dell (del), Tuesday, 6 March 2012 13:34 (1 year ago) Permalink
east coast hippie bullshit town in australia
Australia has an "east coast"? I thought that when you were that antipodal everything just converges into some mobius strip situation. If anything is a direction it would be north. Fucking magnets
― dell (del), Tuesday, 6 March 2012 13:37 (1 year ago) Permalink
(upon seeing me sitting around with my legs splayed in an unlady-like manner)
"close your legs, no one wants to see what you had for breakfast"
― just1n3, Wednesday, 9 May 2012 18:46 (1 year ago) Permalink
omg my mum says that too!
― Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 9 May 2012 18:51 (1 year ago) Permalink
Must be an Antipodean thing.
― Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 9 May 2012 18:51 (1 year ago) Permalink
girls be showin their breakfast
― Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 9 May 2012 18:55 (1 year ago) Permalink
so what DID you have for breakfast...?
― zubaz fupa (elmo argonaut), Wednesday, 9 May 2012 19:05 (1 year ago) Permalink
a lady never tells
― Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 9 May 2012 19:07 (1 year ago) Permalink
You all have a strange way of eating breakfast.
― Polly biscuit face (carl agatha), Wednesday, 9 May 2012 19:32 (1 year ago) Permalink
That's what I never understood!
― just1n3, Wednesday, 9 May 2012 19:50 (1 year ago) Permalink
Whenever anything sexual occurs on TV: "Sex rears its ugly head." It's a real expression from the 1930s.
"Insurance pee": precautionary urination before a car ride. Origins unknown.
― Träumerei, Wednesday, 9 May 2012 20:40 (1 year ago) Permalink
The only way I can understand this is as an implication that you ate pussy for breakfast? Which is the kind of crass joke my dad would crack, but never my mom!
― Dale, dale, dale (Abbbottt), Wednesday, 9 May 2012 21:25 (1 year ago) Permalink
"no one wants to see what you had for breakfast" is just blowing my mind
― 40oz of tears (Jordan), Wednesday, 9 May 2012 21:28 (1 year ago) Permalink
it is gross/hilarious. maybe it means she can see up your butt into your digestive system?
― congratulations (n/a), Wednesday, 9 May 2012 21:30 (1 year ago) Permalink
In that case, you must sit very strangely...
― Polly biscuit face (carl agatha), Wednesday, 9 May 2012 21:31 (1 year ago) Permalink
― Polly biscuit face (carl agatha), Wednesday, 9 May 2012 21:34 (1 year ago) Permalink
xps or if you sit that way it's just going to tumble right out of you? my head...
― arby's, Wednesday, 9 May 2012 21:35 (1 year ago) Permalink
this has quickly become my favorite thread
― He's sick of the Swiss. He don't like em. (Austerity Ponies), Wednesday, 9 May 2012 21:38 (1 year ago) Permalink
Maybe it has to do with skid marks...
*burning shame* :(
― Träumerei, Wednesday, 9 May 2012 21:47 (1 year ago) Permalink
vulva over-easy
― Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 9 May 2012 21:53 (1 year ago) Permalink
instant regret
― He's sick of the Swiss. He don't like em. (Austerity Ponies), Thursday, 10 May 2012 13:52 (1 year ago) Permalink
lol
― andrew m., Thursday, 10 May 2012 14:07 (1 year ago) Permalink
at least once a day my mother eats a 'little bowl of nice greens' which is what she calls her spring mix salads. this isn't noteable in itself, except she always announces that's she's eating her 'little bowl of nice greens' to which my father always replies 'at least they're not rude greens, or horrid greens - no, you wouldn't want that.' it is their routine, but they never seem to enjoy it: my father is annoyed that my mother introduced her salad, and my mother feels mocked. but, like clockwork...
― remy bean, Thursday, 10 May 2012 14:15 (1 year ago) Permalink