Bruno Mars/Smeezingtons singles poll

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still can't believe this dude managed to release a platinum, AOTY-nominated album called "doo-wops & hooligans"

CANDY aka JUNK (some dude), Thursday, 16 February 2012 15:06 (2 years ago) Permalink

"It Will Rain" is pretty dope

(thinks and smiles) (DJP), Thursday, 16 February 2012 15:07 (2 years ago) Permalink

Is this based on an actual Bruno Mars song?

getting good with gulags (beachville), Thursday, 16 February 2012 15:07 (2 years ago) Permalink

no tyler but can you imagine the trouble we would've been saved if someone had just dropped a bomb on whatever studio flo rida, bruno mars and ke$ha were working in 3 years ago?

CANDY aka JUNK (some dude), Thursday, 16 February 2012 15:35 (2 years ago) Permalink

I can't stand this dude so much that when my mom and sister were talking about enjoying him I was grinding my teeth

although that 'Grenade' song is so over-the-top emotional it's almost hilarious. I like to think he's singing "I'd drink lemonade, for yaaaaaaa" really dramatically

valleys of your mind (mh), Thursday, 16 February 2012 16:30 (2 years ago) Permalink

lol i will definitely hear the song that way now

CANDY aka JUNK (some dude), Thursday, 16 February 2012 16:31 (2 years ago) Permalink

he's just so unbelievably obnoxious

now that he's infiltrating rap more and more, i hope anyone who ever hated on t-pain takes a long look in the mirror

illuminati girl (J0rdan S.), Thursday, 16 February 2012 16:54 (2 years ago) Permalink

no tyler but can you imagine the trouble we would've been saved if someone had just dropped a bomb on whatever studio flo rida, bruno mars and ke$ha were working in 3 years ago?

― CANDY aka JUNK (some dude), Thursday, February 16, 2012 10:35 AM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

this is lol tho

illuminati girl (J0rdan S.), Thursday, 16 February 2012 16:55 (2 years ago) Permalink

voted cee-lo, but the wiz/snoop joint is an a+ out-of-season summer jam. sounds more like "toot it and boot it" than anything else and bruno notably stays completely out of the way. only thing that makes me rmde is the chantalong at the end.

The Reverend, Thursday, 16 February 2012 17:05 (2 years ago) Permalink

haha it does NOT sound like toot it and boot it

CANDY aka JUNK (some dude), Thursday, 16 February 2012 17:11 (2 years ago) Permalink

this and only this

first period don't give a fuck, second period gon get cut (lex pretend), Thursday, 16 February 2012 17:15 (2 years ago) Permalink

god i fucking hate "youtube that some people can't see presented without comment" posts

CANDY aka JUNK (some dude), Thursday, 16 February 2012 17:16 (2 years ago) Permalink

ok sorry i kinda hate it too sometimes

k michelle's cover of "nothin' on you", an answer record that kind of picks the original's sweet lies apart by speaking directly to the girl once she's been dumped "get over it and get on yo shit - it ain't that crucial, you can find some new dick". changes chorus to -

Beautiful girls all over the world
I know you're in pain, it's all a part of love's game
'Cause he don't deserve you baby
He don't deserve you baby
It's alright to cry but hurry up dry your eyes
He's only one man, don't let him ruin your life
I know he left you lonely
But he don't deserve you baby

first period don't give a fuck, second period gon get cut (lex pretend), Thursday, 16 February 2012 17:19 (2 years ago) Permalink

haha you and your arbitrary mixtape versions of lex-hated artists' songs done by lex-loved artists

CANDY aka JUNK (some dude), Thursday, 16 February 2012 17:21 (2 years ago) Permalink

well, it's a strong tune, and i hate the original cuz i don't like dude's smeary sleazy voice and his lyrics are boring, but i do like k michelle's voice and the angle she takes, so it stands to reason!

first period don't give a fuck, second period gon get cut (lex pretend), Thursday, 16 February 2012 17:23 (2 years ago) Permalink

haha wait, why is the thesis statement here that B.O.B. is obviously lying and planning on dumping the woman

maybe they lived happily every after, or maybe she dumped him for being clingy

(thinks and smiles) (DJP), Thursday, 16 February 2012 17:26 (2 years ago) Permalink

well, it comes off like it's k michelle's interpretation of the original! based on the way the original is made up of clichés and sweet nothings designed to seduce girls, i guess

first period don't give a fuck, second period gon get cut (lex pretend), Thursday, 16 February 2012 17:34 (2 years ago) Permalink

Tt's a total cliche in song for a woman to automatically assume that everything a guy says to her is insincere nonsense in service of getting her to have sex with him so I don't really see how she's any better in this particular scenario, plus those lyrics do not scan to the cadence of the melody at all. She sounds like she never heard the word "deserve" before.

(thinks and smiles) (DJP), Thursday, 16 February 2012 17:39 (2 years ago) Permalink

like, that is the clumsiest, least musical thing I've heard this week, and I heard "Starships"

(thinks and smiles) (DJP), Thursday, 16 February 2012 17:40 (2 years ago) Permalink

1. Grenade
2. uh billionaire i guess
3. uh

Thu'um gang (jjjusten), Thursday, 16 February 2012 17:43 (2 years ago) Permalink

"Right Round" kind of seems like the odd one out on this list since they're not credited as producers on it, and always seemed more like a Dr. Luke joint to me.

MarkoP, Thursday, 16 February 2012 17:58 (2 years ago) Permalink

two out of three Smeezingtons have writing credits, though

CANDY aka JUNK (some dude), Thursday, 16 February 2012 18:03 (2 years ago) Permalink

Too much indie hate for this guy around here imo. Some good stuff here; he's actually pretty talented, wish he'd let himself stretch a bit commercial artists gonna be commercial.

Display Name (this cannot be changed):, Thursday, 16 February 2012 18:18 (2 years ago) Permalink

tbf hipsters would be all over "The Lazy Song" and "Bow Chicka Wow Wow" if they were sung by Gnarls Barkley

CANDY aka JUNK (some dude), Thursday, 16 February 2012 18:23 (2 years ago) Permalink

haha it does NOT sound like toot it and boot it

― CANDY aka JUNK (some dude), Thursday, February 16, 2012 9:11 AM Bookmark

It's got the same kind of upbeat looped soul piano and the choruses are v similar in melody. YW&F is slicker for sure, though.

The Reverend, Thursday, 16 February 2012 19:13 (2 years ago) Permalink

Would like to hear Lana Del Rey do "Grenade."

‘Neuroscience’ and ‘near death’ pepper (Eazy), Thursday, 16 February 2012 19:18 (2 years ago) Permalink

nonononononoNONONononononoNO

(thinks and smiles) (DJP), Thursday, 16 February 2012 19:20 (2 years ago) Permalink

I'd catch a grenade for you
in my polka dot swimsuit
at the drag race holding a white handkerchief
running a comb through your pompadour
I'd do anything for you

CANDY aka JUNK (some dude), Thursday, 16 February 2012 19:22 (2 years ago) Permalink

It would have this great tension between her ice-queen delivery and the grandiose promises.

‘Neuroscience’ and ‘near death’ pepper (Eazy), Thursday, 16 February 2012 19:27 (2 years ago) Permalink

And then she could do "Right Round."

‘Neuroscience’ and ‘near death’ pepper (Eazy), Thursday, 16 February 2012 19:27 (2 years ago) Permalink

you spin me right round baby right round
like a record baby
a 45
on my sassy mama's victrola
black and white movies
stickball gaaaames

CANDY aka JUNK (some dude), Thursday, 16 February 2012 19:30 (2 years ago) Permalink

the worst of these are seriously some of the most atrocious songs of my lifetime

― illuminati girl (J0rdan S.), Thursday, February 16, 2012 10:04 AM (4 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

otm

flopson, Thursday, 16 February 2012 20:04 (2 years ago) Permalink

Why is this a poll? This is like asking "which pile of vomit is least fermented."

billstevejim, Thursday, 16 February 2012 21:46 (2 years ago) Permalink

tbf hipsters would be all over "The Lazy Song" and "Bow Chicka Wow Wow" if they were sung by Gnarls Barkley
― CANDY aka JUNK (some dude), Thursday, February 16, 2012 1:23 PM (3 hours ago) Bookmark

Are you sure hipsters are really that stupid?

billstevejim, Thursday, 16 February 2012 21:47 (2 years ago) Permalink

the ones that went nuts for "Fuck You" are, yes

CANDY aka JUNK (some dude), Thursday, 16 February 2012 21:54 (2 years ago) Permalink

its equally obvious that "fuck you" would not have been a hit among hipsters if bruno mars had sung it but i dont think it works the other way, esp for "the lazy song"

flopson, Friday, 17 February 2012 00:19 (2 years ago) Permalink

well yeah i'm trolling mostly but i still feel like those songs are all pretty interchangeable in terms of their musical merit or senses of humor

CANDY aka JUNK (some dude), Friday, 17 February 2012 00:49 (2 years ago) Permalink

about a month ago i finally found myself having to give in and accept that i actually love a bruno mars song ("it will rain")

also like or tolerate:

right round
nothin' on you
fuck you
grenade

teledyldonix, Friday, 17 February 2012 06:08 (2 years ago) Permalink

Billionaire probably annoys me more than any other song in recent memory, particularly for being so historically/politically tone deaf

Chris S, Friday, 17 February 2012 06:24 (2 years ago) Permalink

Nothing is interchangeable with "The Lazy Song". Nothing.

Tim F, Friday, 17 February 2012 07:07 (2 years ago) Permalink

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

System, Wednesday, 22 February 2012 00:01 (2 years ago) Permalink

My mom was arguing with me about how it is impossible to dislike "The Lazy Song", and it was in fact the greatest song of the past year. This disturbed me a great deal.

Nicole, Wednesday, 22 February 2012 01:34 (2 years ago) Permalink

It upsets me to ponder even for a moment the worldview vantage point from which "The Lazy Song" is a great song.

Like think about how sad (emotionally) you must be to hear this song and really vibe with it.

Tim F, Wednesday, 22 February 2012 01:43 (2 years ago) Permalink

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

System, Thursday, 23 February 2012 00:01 (2 years ago) Permalink

fuck all five of you

TERMAINTOR 2 (some dude), Thursday, 23 February 2012 03:20 (2 years ago) Permalink

shoulda been six coz I forgot to vote #takethat

Display Name (this cannot be changed):, Thursday, 23 February 2012 04:27 (2 years ago) Permalink

Wait Bruno Mars wrote 'fuck you'? I would've voted for that and yeah whoever said that a hipster like myself would love Lazy Song if it was sung by Cee-lo is otm. Why is there anything wrong with that idk.

Moka, Thursday, 23 February 2012 06:05 (2 years ago) Permalink

cuz it's a dogshit song that's completely reprehensible on many, many grounds that transcend who happens to be singing the song

J0rdan S., Thursday, 23 February 2012 06:23 (2 years ago) Permalink

Oh I know the song is dogshit. I was just saying I'd prefer any Bruno Mars song with Cee-loo singing it instead of him. I guess the polemic was that someone upthread was debating that we should prefer the real Bruno Mars' version just because he is the composer but that is utter bollocks. Lazy Song by Bruno Mars is offensive as performance and composition and with Cee-lo it would only be offensive as composition.

Moka, Thursday, 23 February 2012 06:31 (2 years ago) Permalink

"i prefer my shit painted with gold"

billstevejim, Thursday, 23 February 2012 07:10 (2 years ago) Permalink

"Fuck You" - This is just a fun, bitter song. It hits all the same buttons as "Hey Ya!" so I understand why so many people here hate it.

"Right Round" - This song is pretty much wholly indefensible but the chorus cracks me up like a mug so I like it more than I normally would.

"It Will Rain" - This is slightly melodramatic but a good enough song.

"Grenade" - I unreservedly love this song. It's so ridiculously wounded and earnest.

"Just The Way You Are" - This song describes perfectly how I feel about my wife. I pretty much pity anyone who can't share in the sunny joy shooting out of this song; life is too short to not appreciate someone else's uncomplicated happiness.

"Nothin' On You" - see "Just The Way You Are"

"Rocketeer" - I've heard this song maybe three times. It has a nice melody but beyond that I have zero opinion on it.

"Billionaire" - I am not sure how a song that says "if I had a shit-ton of money, I would feed a bunch of people, try to help disaster victims, then split the rest with family and friends after I bought myself a couple of cars" is worthy of criticism on a socio-economic level; are you maybe overthinking this?

"Young Wild & Free" - I have heard this song three times. I don't remember how it goes at all but I remember that I loved it every time I heard it.

"The Lazy Song" - This song is Bieber-level irritating. Fucking pustulent unforgivable bullshit raghr fuck everyone for listening to this kill you in yr sleep

I have not heard any of the other songs.

(thinks and smiles) (DJP), Thursday, 23 February 2012 19:06 (2 years ago) Permalink

otm about "Just The Way" and "Nothin'," i never really got the hate for those songs because they're so effectively sunny and sweet

some dude, Thursday, 23 February 2012 19:12 (2 years ago) Permalink

well i for one am perfectly okay with hating bruno mars and janelle monae the same amount

pre-tennis ball head-era chris brown (J0rdan S.), Thursday, 23 February 2012 19:31 (2 years ago) Permalink

"Fuck You" -- done to death on these boards but i'm just sick of it and the sentiment is nasty

"Right Round" -- you'd think a shuffley beat would be up my alley. the bright jokey trancey kind of aesthetic that runs through a lot of pop right now is just not for me. what are we europe? the fuck is with this stuff. (incidentally i think there's a youtube troll meme going on this song where there are dozens of videos with different or deliberately garbage audio)

"It Will Rain" -- smarmy, treacly, plodding, can't stand it

"Grenade" -- see above

"Just The Way You Are" -- see above

"Nothin' On You" -- this has some light charm but in the context of already hating mars it's not enough of a lift i guess. BOB is chattering and grating.

"Wavin' Flag" -- didn't know he was behind this tbh. really bad.

"Mirror" -- i kind of like the beat on this

"Marry You" -- really cheap and cynical

"Lighters" -- just no

"The Lazy Song" -- i'm getting a really heavy private college talent show vibe from this. like i can already hear a million bad covers contained in the original, kind of a thing

"Bow Chicka Wow Wow" -- ha the one bit of fake neal schon almost saves this for a second

"Rocketeer" -- at this point these are like http://www.theonion.com/articles/taco-bells-five-ingredients-combined-in-totally-ne,3781/

"Billionaire" -- see above

"Get Sexy" -- really forced and weak.

"Young, Wild & Free" -- i like this!

goole, Thursday, 23 February 2012 19:37 (2 years ago) Permalink

the bright jokey trancey kind of aesthetic that runs through a lot of pop right now is just not for me. what are we europe? the fuck is with this stuff.

this is probably overstated considering how much i've liked plenty of gaga, k8y perry and kesha singles. it's the 'jokey' part that gets on my nerves instantly.

goole, Thursday, 23 February 2012 19:40 (2 years ago) Permalink

well i for one am perfectly okay with hating bruno mars and janelle monae the same amount

― pre-tennis ball head-era chris brown (J0rdan S.), Thursday, February 23, 2012 2:31 PM (9 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

her pompadour alone makes me hate her so much more than bruno and his pompadour

some dude, Thursday, 23 February 2012 19:40 (2 years ago) Permalink

you leave my spiritual little sister alone, dicks

(thinks and smiles) (DJP), Thursday, 23 February 2012 19:41 (2 years ago) Permalink

"young, wild & free" would be either no 1 or 2 on my list

pre-tennis ball head-era chris brown (J0rdan S.), Friday, 24 February 2012 04:47 (2 years ago) Permalink

does bruno mars sing the hook on this?? can barely tell it's him, thank god

pre-tennis ball head-era chris brown (J0rdan S.), Friday, 24 February 2012 04:48 (2 years ago) Permalink

I've heard "Count on You" a few times in the past 48 hours and I'm wondering why it's missing from this list. Unmistakably Mars.

Fonz Hour (Eazy), Friday, 24 February 2012 04:54 (2 years ago) Permalink

"Fuck You" - This is just a fun, bitter song. It hits all the same buttons as "Hey Ya!" so I understand why so many people here hate it.

Which buttons are those? "Hey Ya" was fresh-sounding the first time I heard it, and despite that it was so hugely overplayed, I never ended up actively hating it.. "Fuck You" made me angry the first time, and every time since.

I loved it the first time I heard it, and so did America. Define "America" please.

billstevejim, Friday, 24 February 2012 05:57 (2 years ago) Permalink

"Hey Ya" also isn't bitter.

billstevejim, Friday, 24 February 2012 05:58 (2 years ago) Permalink

"Fuck You" - This is just a fun, bitter song. It hits all the same buttons as "Hey Ya!" so I understand why so many people here hate it.

Which buttons are those? "Hey Ya" was fresh-sounding the first time I heard it, and despite that it was so hugely overplayed, I never ended up actively hating it.. "Fuck You" made me angry the first time, and every time since.

I loved it the first time I heard it, and so did America. Define "America" please.

― billstevejim

I guess it just means it was a big hit in Amur'rica. It's not the same thing as being a pop hit elsewhere, if America loves your song it features heavily on all sorts of ads and parodies through the year.

Moka, Friday, 24 February 2012 07:49 (2 years ago) Permalink

I actually have no idea what he meant, just guessing.

Moka, Friday, 24 February 2012 07:51 (2 years ago) Permalink

Moka, Friday, 24 February 2012 07:52 (2 years ago) Permalink

FYI while we're doing the anecdote-as-data thing i knew PLENTY of women who hate bruno mars and think he's pretty much irredeemable

lex pretend, Friday, 24 February 2012 08:22 (2 years ago) Permalink

Include me in the list of women who hate him but I don't even see why gender should be a matter of discussion in here tho. The statement could hold true for all pop artists since the beginning of times. Women are generally more open in their love for dumb pop music and rarely hold guilty pleasures.

Moka, Friday, 24 February 2012 08:44 (2 years ago) Permalink

I've heard "Count on You" a few times in the past 48 hours and I'm wondering why it's missing from this list. Unmistakably Mars.

― Fonz Hour (Eazy), Thursday, February 23, 2012 11:54 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

sorry i limited it to songs that were singles in the US ::shrugs::

some dude, Friday, 24 February 2012 12:09 (2 years ago) Permalink

Which buttons are those?

Bright, cheery sounding retropop with angry lyrics about a breakup.

"Hey Ya" also isn't bitter.

Have you never listened to the lyrics?

robbery by sudden snatching (DJP), Friday, 24 February 2012 13:33 (2 years ago) Permalink

"y'all don't hear me you just wanna dance" is the only genuinely bitter lyric in "Hey Ya"

DNRIYHM NATION 1814 (some dude), Friday, 24 February 2012 14:25 (2 years ago) Permalink

No prob some dude--maybe it's a new single this week.

Don't y'all think his reggae-ish songs (Lazy included) are more irritating than the R&B ones?

Fonz Hour (Eazy), Friday, 24 February 2012 14:33 (2 years ago) Permalink

they're pretty cheesy, although i don't know if they're any cheesier than the retro R&B songs (and i'm fine with most of the contemporary R&B-sounding songs)

DNRIYHM NATION 1814 (some dude), Friday, 24 February 2012 14:35 (2 years ago) Permalink

Bet a lot of dorm action has been underscored with "Just The Way You Are."

Fonz Hour (Eazy), Friday, 24 February 2012 14:49 (2 years ago) Permalink

that seems like his most housewife-y song imo

DNRIYHM NATION 1814 (some dude), Friday, 24 February 2012 14:54 (2 years ago) Permalink

this guy is completely indefensible and horrible and I don't know how you can think differently

valleys of your mind (mh), Friday, 24 February 2012 15:21 (2 years ago) Permalink

this isn't the Bieber thread, dude

robbery by sudden snatching (DJP), Friday, 24 February 2012 15:21 (2 years ago) Permalink

I'm not going to encounter Bieber songs on adult-targeted radio throughout my day as often, either, though! Not that I'm trying to listen to Lite FM stylings but urrrgh

valleys of your mind (mh), Friday, 24 February 2012 15:24 (2 years ago) Permalink

Don't y'all think his reggae-ish songs (Lazy included) are more irritating than the R&B ones?

― Fonz Hour (Eazy), Friday, February 24, 2012 6:33 AM Bookmark

totally

marissa explains it all (The Reverend), Monday, 27 February 2012 21:29 (2 years ago) Permalink

2 weeks pass...

every time i hear "it will rain" i expect him to break out into the "chasing pavements" chorus

3hunn O))) (J0rdan S.), Friday, 16 March 2012 15:39 (2 years ago) Permalink

ha i can kinda see that, althoguh i personally think "It Will Rain" is so much better. on the local pop-leaning R&B station it sounds so right in between Miguel and Trey Songz joints.

some dude, Friday, 16 March 2012 15:41 (2 years ago) Permalink

the funny thing about that song is the one line where he says "i won't be your mom's favorite" or whatever when i'd venture to say he's in the top 3 of current pop stars that moms love/are even aware of

3hunn O))) (J0rdan S.), Friday, 16 March 2012 15:47 (2 years ago) Permalink

1 month passes...

haha

hologram ned raggett (The Reverend), Wednesday, 2 May 2012 16:17 (1 year ago) Permalink

every time i hear "it will rain" i expect him to break out into the "chasing pavements" chorus

― 3hunn O))) (J0rdan S.), Friday, March 16, 2012 11:39 AM (1 month ago) Bookmark

heh my wife made the same observation the other day and i had forgot where i heard it first. still like "rain" way way way more though.

Neil Young’s social media channels (some dude), Wednesday, 2 May 2012 17:25 (1 year ago) Permalink

Sneezyngtons. And he's Sneezy. Because he does cocaine. Get it?

Moka, Wednesday, 2 May 2012 18:27 (1 year ago) Permalink

good one, Joka

Neil Young’s social media channels (some dude), Wednesday, 2 May 2012 18:32 (1 year ago) Permalink

some dude: putting the 'zing' in Smeezingtons since 2011

the endless white snow has never felt more textile (loves laboured breathing), Wednesday, 2 May 2012 22:11 (1 year ago) Permalink

Because I'm zingy. Get it?

Neil Young’s social media channels (some dude), Wednesday, 2 May 2012 23:25 (1 year ago) Permalink

Miracle Ship

the endless white snow has never felt more textile (loves laboured breathing), Thursday, 3 May 2012 02:21 (1 year ago) Permalink

(I apparently can only deliver jokes in fractions)

the endless white snow has never felt more textile (loves laboured breathing), Thursday, 3 May 2012 02:23 (1 year ago) Permalink

lolz

Moka, Thursday, 3 May 2012 07:15 (1 year ago) Permalink

7 months pass...

http://www.unorthodoxjukebox.com/

kinda digging this, although i keep waiting for a song around the corner that will make me regret saying that

RIP Gramp C (some dude), Wednesday, 5 December 2012 21:58 (1 year ago) Permalink


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