Bruno Mars/Smeezingtons singles poll

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still can't believe this dude managed to release a platinum, AOTY-nominated album called "doo-wops & hooligans"

CANDY aka JUNK (some dude), Thursday, 16 February 2012 15:06 (2 years ago) Permalink

"It Will Rain" is pretty dope

(thinks and smiles) (DJP), Thursday, 16 February 2012 15:07 (2 years ago) Permalink

Is this based on an actual Bruno Mars song?

getting good with gulags (beachville), Thursday, 16 February 2012 15:07 (2 years ago) Permalink

no tyler but can you imagine the trouble we would've been saved if someone had just dropped a bomb on whatever studio flo rida, bruno mars and ke$ha were working in 3 years ago?

CANDY aka JUNK (some dude), Thursday, 16 February 2012 15:35 (2 years ago) Permalink

I can't stand this dude so much that when my mom and sister were talking about enjoying him I was grinding my teeth

although that 'Grenade' song is so over-the-top emotional it's almost hilarious. I like to think he's singing "I'd drink lemonade, for yaaaaaaa" really dramatically

valleys of your mind (mh), Thursday, 16 February 2012 16:30 (2 years ago) Permalink

lol i will definitely hear the song that way now

CANDY aka JUNK (some dude), Thursday, 16 February 2012 16:31 (2 years ago) Permalink

he's just so unbelievably obnoxious

now that he's infiltrating rap more and more, i hope anyone who ever hated on t-pain takes a long look in the mirror

illuminati girl (J0rdan S.), Thursday, 16 February 2012 16:54 (2 years ago) Permalink

no tyler but can you imagine the trouble we would've been saved if someone had just dropped a bomb on whatever studio flo rida, bruno mars and ke$ha were working in 3 years ago?

― CANDY aka JUNK (some dude), Thursday, February 16, 2012 10:35 AM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

this is lol tho

illuminati girl (J0rdan S.), Thursday, 16 February 2012 16:55 (2 years ago) Permalink

voted cee-lo, but the wiz/snoop joint is an a+ out-of-season summer jam. sounds more like "toot it and boot it" than anything else and bruno notably stays completely out of the way. only thing that makes me rmde is the chantalong at the end.

The Reverend, Thursday, 16 February 2012 17:05 (2 years ago) Permalink

haha it does NOT sound like toot it and boot it

CANDY aka JUNK (some dude), Thursday, 16 February 2012 17:11 (2 years ago) Permalink

this and only this

first period don't give a fuck, second period gon get cut (lex pretend), Thursday, 16 February 2012 17:15 (2 years ago) Permalink

god i fucking hate "youtube that some people can't see presented without comment" posts

CANDY aka JUNK (some dude), Thursday, 16 February 2012 17:16 (2 years ago) Permalink

ok sorry i kinda hate it too sometimes

k michelle's cover of "nothin' on you", an answer record that kind of picks the original's sweet lies apart by speaking directly to the girl once she's been dumped "get over it and get on yo shit - it ain't that crucial, you can find some new dick". changes chorus to -

Beautiful girls all over the world
I know you're in pain, it's all a part of love's game
'Cause he don't deserve you baby
He don't deserve you baby
It's alright to cry but hurry up dry your eyes
He's only one man, don't let him ruin your life
I know he left you lonely
But he don't deserve you baby

first period don't give a fuck, second period gon get cut (lex pretend), Thursday, 16 February 2012 17:19 (2 years ago) Permalink

haha you and your arbitrary mixtape versions of lex-hated artists' songs done by lex-loved artists

CANDY aka JUNK (some dude), Thursday, 16 February 2012 17:21 (2 years ago) Permalink

well, it's a strong tune, and i hate the original cuz i don't like dude's smeary sleazy voice and his lyrics are boring, but i do like k michelle's voice and the angle she takes, so it stands to reason!

first period don't give a fuck, second period gon get cut (lex pretend), Thursday, 16 February 2012 17:23 (2 years ago) Permalink

haha wait, why is the thesis statement here that B.O.B. is obviously lying and planning on dumping the woman

maybe they lived happily every after, or maybe she dumped him for being clingy

(thinks and smiles) (DJP), Thursday, 16 February 2012 17:26 (2 years ago) Permalink

well, it comes off like it's k michelle's interpretation of the original! based on the way the original is made up of clichés and sweet nothings designed to seduce girls, i guess

first period don't give a fuck, second period gon get cut (lex pretend), Thursday, 16 February 2012 17:34 (2 years ago) Permalink

Tt's a total cliche in song for a woman to automatically assume that everything a guy says to her is insincere nonsense in service of getting her to have sex with him so I don't really see how she's any better in this particular scenario, plus those lyrics do not scan to the cadence of the melody at all. She sounds like she never heard the word "deserve" before.

(thinks and smiles) (DJP), Thursday, 16 February 2012 17:39 (2 years ago) Permalink

like, that is the clumsiest, least musical thing I've heard this week, and I heard "Starships"

(thinks and smiles) (DJP), Thursday, 16 February 2012 17:40 (2 years ago) Permalink

1. Grenade
2. uh billionaire i guess
3. uh

Thu'um gang (jjjusten), Thursday, 16 February 2012 17:43 (2 years ago) Permalink

"Right Round" kind of seems like the odd one out on this list since they're not credited as producers on it, and always seemed more like a Dr. Luke joint to me.

MarkoP, Thursday, 16 February 2012 17:58 (2 years ago) Permalink

two out of three Smeezingtons have writing credits, though

CANDY aka JUNK (some dude), Thursday, 16 February 2012 18:03 (2 years ago) Permalink

Too much indie hate for this guy around here imo. Some good stuff here; he's actually pretty talented, wish he'd let himself stretch a bit commercial artists gonna be commercial.

Display Name (this cannot be changed):, Thursday, 16 February 2012 18:18 (2 years ago) Permalink

tbf hipsters would be all over "The Lazy Song" and "Bow Chicka Wow Wow" if they were sung by Gnarls Barkley

CANDY aka JUNK (some dude), Thursday, 16 February 2012 18:23 (2 years ago) Permalink

haha it does NOT sound like toot it and boot it

― CANDY aka JUNK (some dude), Thursday, February 16, 2012 9:11 AM Bookmark

It's got the same kind of upbeat looped soul piano and the choruses are v similar in melody. YW&F is slicker for sure, though.

The Reverend, Thursday, 16 February 2012 19:13 (2 years ago) Permalink

Would like to hear Lana Del Rey do "Grenade."

‘Neuroscience’ and ‘near death’ pepper (Eazy), Thursday, 16 February 2012 19:18 (2 years ago) Permalink

nonononononoNONONononononoNO

(thinks and smiles) (DJP), Thursday, 16 February 2012 19:20 (2 years ago) Permalink

I'd catch a grenade for you
in my polka dot swimsuit
at the drag race holding a white handkerchief
running a comb through your pompadour
I'd do anything for you

CANDY aka JUNK (some dude), Thursday, 16 February 2012 19:22 (2 years ago) Permalink

It would have this great tension between her ice-queen delivery and the grandiose promises.

‘Neuroscience’ and ‘near death’ pepper (Eazy), Thursday, 16 February 2012 19:27 (2 years ago) Permalink

And then she could do "Right Round."

‘Neuroscience’ and ‘near death’ pepper (Eazy), Thursday, 16 February 2012 19:27 (2 years ago) Permalink

you spin me right round baby right round
like a record baby
a 45
on my sassy mama's victrola
black and white movies
stickball gaaaames

CANDY aka JUNK (some dude), Thursday, 16 February 2012 19:30 (2 years ago) Permalink

the worst of these are seriously some of the most atrocious songs of my lifetime

― illuminati girl (J0rdan S.), Thursday, February 16, 2012 10:04 AM (4 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

otm

flopson, Thursday, 16 February 2012 20:04 (2 years ago) Permalink

Why is this a poll? This is like asking "which pile of vomit is least fermented."

billstevejim, Thursday, 16 February 2012 21:46 (2 years ago) Permalink

tbf hipsters would be all over "The Lazy Song" and "Bow Chicka Wow Wow" if they were sung by Gnarls Barkley
― CANDY aka JUNK (some dude), Thursday, February 16, 2012 1:23 PM (3 hours ago) Bookmark

Are you sure hipsters are really that stupid?

billstevejim, Thursday, 16 February 2012 21:47 (2 years ago) Permalink

the ones that went nuts for "Fuck You" are, yes

CANDY aka JUNK (some dude), Thursday, 16 February 2012 21:54 (2 years ago) Permalink

its equally obvious that "fuck you" would not have been a hit among hipsters if bruno mars had sung it but i dont think it works the other way, esp for "the lazy song"

flopson, Friday, 17 February 2012 00:19 (2 years ago) Permalink

well yeah i'm trolling mostly but i still feel like those songs are all pretty interchangeable in terms of their musical merit or senses of humor

CANDY aka JUNK (some dude), Friday, 17 February 2012 00:49 (2 years ago) Permalink

about a month ago i finally found myself having to give in and accept that i actually love a bruno mars song ("it will rain")

also like or tolerate:

right round
nothin' on you
fuck you
grenade

teledyldonix, Friday, 17 February 2012 06:08 (2 years ago) Permalink

Billionaire probably annoys me more than any other song in recent memory, particularly for being so historically/politically tone deaf

Chris S, Friday, 17 February 2012 06:24 (2 years ago) Permalink

Nothing is interchangeable with "The Lazy Song". Nothing.

Tim F, Friday, 17 February 2012 07:07 (2 years ago) Permalink

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

System, Wednesday, 22 February 2012 00:01 (2 years ago) Permalink

My mom was arguing with me about how it is impossible to dislike "The Lazy Song", and it was in fact the greatest song of the past year. This disturbed me a great deal.

Nicole, Wednesday, 22 February 2012 01:34 (2 years ago) Permalink

It upsets me to ponder even for a moment the worldview vantage point from which "The Lazy Song" is a great song.

Like think about how sad (emotionally) you must be to hear this song and really vibe with it.

Tim F, Wednesday, 22 February 2012 01:43 (2 years ago) Permalink

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

System, Thursday, 23 February 2012 00:01 (2 years ago) Permalink

fuck all five of you

TERMAINTOR 2 (some dude), Thursday, 23 February 2012 03:20 (2 years ago) Permalink

shoulda been six coz I forgot to vote #takethat

Display Name (this cannot be changed):, Thursday, 23 February 2012 04:27 (2 years ago) Permalink

Wait Bruno Mars wrote 'fuck you'? I would've voted for that and yeah whoever said that a hipster like myself would love Lazy Song if it was sung by Cee-lo is otm. Why is there anything wrong with that idk.

Moka, Thursday, 23 February 2012 06:05 (2 years ago) Permalink

cuz it's a dogshit song that's completely reprehensible on many, many grounds that transcend who happens to be singing the song

J0rdan S., Thursday, 23 February 2012 06:23 (2 years ago) Permalink

Oh I know the song is dogshit. I was just saying I'd prefer any Bruno Mars song with Cee-loo singing it instead of him. I guess the polemic was that someone upthread was debating that we should prefer the real Bruno Mars' version just because he is the composer but that is utter bollocks. Lazy Song by Bruno Mars is offensive as performance and composition and with Cee-lo it would only be offensive as composition.

Moka, Thursday, 23 February 2012 06:31 (2 years ago) Permalink

"i prefer my shit painted with gold"

billstevejim, Thursday, 23 February 2012 07:10 (2 years ago) Permalink

(I apparently can only deliver jokes in fractions)

the endless white snow has never felt more textile (loves laboured breathing), Thursday, 3 May 2012 02:23 (2 years ago) Permalink

lolz

Moka, Thursday, 3 May 2012 07:15 (2 years ago) Permalink

7 months pass...

http://www.unorthodoxjukebox.com/

kinda digging this, although i keep waiting for a song around the corner that will make me regret saying that

RIP Gramp C (some dude), Wednesday, 5 December 2012 21:58 (2 years ago) Permalink

2 years pass...

NO PARKIN BABY

NO PARKIN ON THE DANCEFLOOR

TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Sunday, 14 December 2014 23:15 (6 days ago) Permalink

basically every single of his since this poll has been better than the best song on this list

J0rdan S., Monday, 15 December 2014 01:47 (5 days ago) Permalink

otm

gr8080, Monday, 15 December 2014 01:49 (5 days ago) Permalink

"uptown funk" is dope imo

J0rdan S., Wednesday, 17 December 2014 18:01 (3 days ago) Permalink

it is awesome and will be filling wedding playlists for at least the next 5 years

TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Wednesday, 17 December 2014 18:37 (3 days ago) Permalink

"uptown funk" repulses me

lex pretend, Wednesday, 17 December 2014 18:47 (3 days ago) Permalink

the new "happy" the new "fuck you" the worst music ever

lex pretend, Wednesday, 17 December 2014 18:47 (3 days ago) Permalink

Uptown Funk is great.

Greer, Wednesday, 17 December 2014 19:33 (3 days ago) Permalink

Uptown Funk is really, really great

the farakhan of gg (DJP), Wednesday, 17 December 2014 19:37 (3 days ago) Permalink

"uptown funk" has so much more oomph than "happy" "fuck you" et al, i like it

dyl, Wednesday, 17 December 2014 19:48 (3 days ago) Permalink

i think "uptown funk" structurally sounds like five vines bolted together but the horns are great and it's probably a blast to dance to

emo canon in twee major (BradNelson), Wednesday, 17 December 2014 21:04 (3 days ago) Permalink

it has a bunch of fun little details that push it over the top for me, also the live performances (not video) have been great

J0rdan S., Wednesday, 17 December 2014 22:00 (3 days ago) Permalink

i also love the trinidad james thing

J0rdan S., Wednesday, 17 December 2014 22:06 (3 days ago) Permalink

haha i was about to say that's the worst part

christmas with the canks (some dude), Thursday, 18 December 2014 00:44 (2 days ago) Permalink

other than the fixation on dragon retirement plans

christmas with the canks (some dude), Thursday, 18 December 2014 00:44 (2 days ago) Permalink

with the exception of "treasure", i think that i have liked each of his singles successively more as they have been released. "uptown funk" is charming. i prefer it to "happy" and "fuck you" but enjoy both those songs too.

fennel cartwright, Thursday, 18 December 2014 05:23 (2 days ago) Permalink

We had our work Xmas night in one of those party nights hotels throw and "Uptown Funk" was played three times to rapturous joy each time, it is definitely going to turn into a wedding classic. The song is good, better than anything from Mars and Ronson ought to be, but the video sucks away so much of it's joy, especially after seeing X Factor runner-up Fleur selling the song with much more personality.

boxedjoy, Thursday, 18 December 2014 11:16 (2 days ago) Permalink

uptown funk came on at about 1am on sunday morning at a festival i was at on the weekend and ppl went ballistic

also uptown funk >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> happy & fck you

uxorious gazumping (monotony), Thursday, 18 December 2014 12:05 (2 days ago) Permalink

Each single made me loathe his voice more, but "Uptown Funk" presents the best setting for it. Better grit than awful falsetto. Or: James Brown >>>>> Sting.

guess that bundt gettin eaten (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, 18 December 2014 12:38 (2 days ago) Permalink

even if it's Dan Hartman-produced Brown.

guess that bundt gettin eaten (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, 18 December 2014 13:01 (2 days ago) Permalink

"Uptown Funk" is whatever but there are more pressing issues going on in the world than Bruno's Kool & the Gang cosplay. Like getting Sam Smith out the paint.

Dej & the Fommly Loaf (The Reverend), Thursday, 18 December 2014 14:41 (2 days ago) Permalink

Middle-aged people fucking love this song ime.

Dej & the Fommly Loaf (The Reverend), Thursday, 18 December 2014 14:42 (2 days ago) Permalink

^^^ OTM

the farakhan of gg (DJP), Thursday, 18 December 2014 14:43 (2 days ago) Permalink

middle aged people fucking love bruno mars

J0rdan S., Thursday, 18 December 2014 14:44 (2 days ago) Permalink

^^^ also OTM

the farakhan of gg (DJP), Thursday, 18 December 2014 14:49 (2 days ago) Permalink

True but I feel like it's ESPECIALLY the case with this one.

Dej & the Fommly Loaf (The Reverend), Thursday, 18 December 2014 14:53 (2 days ago) Permalink

My middleaged mom fucking loves Uptown Funk. She says she put it on at her workchristmasparty, and all the young people thought she was cool. I'm young, and I think it's cool as well, so I believe her. BradNelson is right that it sounds like Vines cobbled together, though, it has that EDM-like structure, or perhaps like a K-pop track. I love it for that. And the SNL performance was amazing.

Frederik B, Thursday, 18 December 2014 17:22 (2 days ago) Permalink

it sounds like Vines cobbled together

I have no idea what the fuck this is supposed to mean. Like a bunch of shorter sections cobbled together? Like people have written songs for ages?

Dej & the Fommly Loaf (The Reverend), Thursday, 18 December 2014 17:45 (2 days ago) Permalink

it definitely sounds more like a bunch of different loosely related vamps strung together than verse/chorus/bridge, even if it actually is structured like a pop song. like, the Prince song it's most analogous to would be "It's Gonna Be A Beautiful Night" (although obv it's more The Time than Prince proper).

christmas with the canks (some dude), Thursday, 18 December 2014 17:48 (2 days ago) Permalink

"It's Gonna Be A Beautiful Night" and The Time existed long before Vine videos, as do funk jam songs structured like this, so using that as your comparison point comes across like you've never heard of James Brown, Prince, Morris Day, Parliament, or really any funk band that existed before 2010

the farakhan of gg (DJP), Thursday, 18 December 2014 17:54 (2 days ago) Permalink

this one particularly:
'

guess that bundt gettin eaten (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, 18 December 2014 17:55 (2 days ago) Permalink

"It's Gonna Be A Beautiful Night" and The Time existed long before Vine videos, as do funk jam songs structured like this, so using that as your comparison point comes across like you've never heard of James Brown, Prince, Morris Day, Parliament, or really any funk band that existed before 2010

lol thanks dan

emo canon in twee major (BradNelson), Thursday, 18 December 2014 18:00 (2 days ago) Permalink

i just think it sounds super disorganized and about its own "moments" in a way that zero of your examples necessarily are

emo canon in twee major (BradNelson), Thursday, 18 December 2014 18:01 (2 days ago) Permalink

glad y'all like this song though it's pretty good!

emo canon in twee major (BradNelson), Thursday, 18 December 2014 18:02 (2 days ago) Permalink

make a brad wanna retire, man

christmas with the canks (some dude), Thursday, 18 December 2014 18:02 (2 days ago) Permalink

Bruno Mars and Mark Ronson are such a natural match of tasteful retro nerds but my feelings on the song kind of split the difference between how i feel about them -- Mars has undeniable skill/star quality and has written a few hits that aren't full-on genre pastiches, but Ronson is just a well connected rich kid who'd probably be making mashups if he didn't have access to big stars to collaborate with.

christmas with the canks (some dude), Thursday, 18 December 2014 18:06 (2 days ago) Permalink

It's just that those sections are particularly short. I said it was like EDM before, which is how I've mainly thought about it. That build to the drop where the horns come in - and those horns are Antibalas, right? That The Time song doesn't do the same at all.

Frederik B, Thursday, 18 December 2014 18:08 (2 days ago) Permalink

those horns are Antibalas, right?

!!!!!

Dej & the Fommly Loaf (The Reverend), Thursday, 18 December 2014 18:24 (2 days ago) Permalink

Wiki says: 'the airtight turnarounds and sharp horn lines in "Uptown Funk", courtesy of members of Antibalas and Dap Kings, didn’t come easy.'

Frederik B, Thursday, 18 December 2014 19:24 (2 days ago) Permalink


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