things you're secretly kinda fascisty about

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they are pointless

iatee, Monday, 13 February 2012 17:59 (twelve years ago) link

Comprehensive evidence based sex-ed should be mandatory in each and every school in this country starting at the elementary level.

wolf kabob (ENBB), Monday, 13 February 2012 17:59 (twelve years ago) link

otm

horseshoe, Monday, 13 February 2012 18:00 (twelve years ago) link

i love this thread!

horseshoe, Monday, 13 February 2012 18:00 (twelve years ago) link

(i meant to hyphnate evidence-based and not sex ed - oops)

wolf kabob (ENBB), Monday, 13 February 2012 18:00 (twelve years ago) link

everyone on this thread otm

max, Monday, 13 February 2012 18:00 (twelve years ago) link

guns and cars should be banned forever

max, Monday, 13 February 2012 18:00 (twelve years ago) link

automatic tickets for any speeding

students who goof off in the classroom should be expelled immediately

Euler, Monday, 13 February 2012 18:00 (twelve years ago) link

Alfred OTM re: comma splices.

Not bothering to fix smartphone typos -- I want to take your phone away from you and drop it in raw sewage.

modding

― beware of greeks bearing petrol bombs (darraghmac), Monday, February 13, 2012 11:53 AM

Meaning you approve of heavyhandedness? I like this!

Steamtable Willie (WmC), Monday, 13 February 2012 18:01 (twelve years ago) link

People who abuse or molest their children should be sterilized put down.

― wolf kabob (ENBB), Monday, February 13, 2012 12:57 PM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

things you're secretly kinda libertranny about (beachville), Monday, 13 February 2012 18:01 (twelve years ago) link

don't be so obv max, everyone in the world knows that guns and cars should be banned forever

iatee, Monday, 13 February 2012 18:01 (twelve years ago) link

there is a moment in dr. horrible's sing-along blog (shut up) where neil patrick harris, the villain, says "the world is a mess and i just need to...rule it" and rarely have i so fully identified with a television character.

horseshoe, Monday, 13 February 2012 18:01 (twelve years ago) link

sing along blogs

Mr. Que, Monday, 13 February 2012 18:01 (twelve years ago) link

I could make a long long list of health care related ones but abortion should be covered under all insurance plans regardless of reason or number or anything tbh.

wolf kabob (ENBB), Monday, 13 February 2012 18:02 (twelve years ago) link

OTM

horseshoe, Monday, 13 February 2012 18:02 (twelve years ago) link

come on the point of these threads is challops don't go for the easy stuff

iatee, Monday, 13 February 2012 18:02 (twelve years ago) link

oh okay. i was thinking forced economic and racial integration at the housing level could be carried out alongside a program to move people back into city centers from the suburbs /pandering

horseshoe, Monday, 13 February 2012 18:03 (twelve years ago) link

again, you would have to be insane to not agree w/ that

iatee, Monday, 13 February 2012 18:04 (twelve years ago) link

whoever said due dates in libraries in the other thread, otm

Mr. Que, Monday, 13 February 2012 18:04 (twelve years ago) link

it's hard because what's challops in american political discourse vs. what's challops on ilx, you know?

horseshoe, Monday, 13 February 2012 18:04 (twelve years ago) link

lol xp to iatee

horseshoe, Monday, 13 February 2012 18:04 (twelve years ago) link

PIZZA

CAPITALISM

TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Monday, 13 February 2012 18:06 (twelve years ago) link

talking on cellphone while driving should be illegal and equivalent to a dui

ciderpress, Monday, 13 February 2012 18:07 (twelve years ago) link

democracy is dumb, you should lose voting points for every dollar u earn (start off with 1 million points, millionaires get no points, children get 1 mil points cos they have no money etc)

oneohtrix and park (m bison), Monday, 13 February 2012 18:07 (twelve years ago) link

pizza otm

wolf kabob (ENBB), Monday, 13 February 2012 18:07 (twelve years ago) link

I secretly yearn for the imprisonment of my political enemies, in a facility where they could enjoy the benefits of publically provided health care, nutritious food, free educational opportunities and easy listening music piped into their well-appointed cells.

Aimless, Monday, 13 February 2012 18:07 (twelve years ago) link

whoa

xp to m bison's next-level proposal

horseshoe, Monday, 13 February 2012 18:08 (twelve years ago) link

winning vote totals are like...spongebob 1 trillion pts, tupac 1.1 trillion pts, barbara bush 3 pts

oneohtrix and park (m bison), Monday, 13 February 2012 18:08 (twelve years ago) link

2nd-4th grades in the USA should be entirely taught in languages besides English

Euler, Monday, 13 February 2012 18:08 (twelve years ago) link

wow m bison just solved all of our problems

max, Monday, 13 February 2012 18:08 (twelve years ago) link

sure u can practice your religion every day if every day u want to be forced to eat dog shit, the choice is yours!

lil kink (Matt P), Monday, 13 February 2012 18:08 (twelve years ago) link

I'm pretty fascity about things related to pregnancy and birth that may not seem controversial here but are considered surprisingly "crazy" to a lot of people outside certain circles.

wolf kabob (ENBB), Monday, 13 February 2012 18:08 (twelve years ago) link

haha euler otm

iatee, Monday, 13 February 2012 18:08 (twelve years ago) link

i know i am still absorbing it

xxp

horseshoe, Monday, 13 February 2012 18:09 (twelve years ago) link

Everything at work has to be made with a welder to the acompanyment of the a-team soundtrack. EVERYTHING

"Oh shit, we're out of highlighters." Da-da-da *click, whooosh* da-da-da-da-daaa

Unleash the Chang (he did what!) (Austerity Ponies), Monday, 13 February 2012 18:09 (twelve years ago) link

i now see what this thread is about but i am not about to divulge my secret fascist fantasies.

horseshoe, Monday, 13 February 2012 18:09 (twelve years ago) link

there should be an enforced sterilization program on the bottom 5% and the top 5% of the population as ranked economically; you are in one fell swoop removing the people who cannot achieve and the people who achieve primarily via gross cheating and exploitation from the gene pool

I spend a lot of time thinking about apricots (DJP), Monday, 13 February 2012 18:10 (twelve years ago) link

Men can't wear ratty flip-flops at amusement parks.

Exile in lolville (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Monday, 13 February 2012 18:10 (twelve years ago) link

I held back on making this cause secret libertarian fantasies are a lot more shameful than secret fascist fantasies

iatee, Monday, 13 February 2012 18:10 (twelve years ago) link

ban advertising everywhere on tv on billboards all of it

max, Monday, 13 February 2012 18:11 (twelve years ago) link

this thread could be interesting if its not interpreted as lol minor irritation couched in hyperbolic language lol like that tedious disgusting savages thread

judith, Monday, 13 February 2012 18:11 (twelve years ago) link

come on the point of these threads is challops don't go for the easy stuff

― iatee, Monday, February 13, 2012 6:02 PM (4 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Okay, fine: Free speech is overrated and I would like to be the fascist in charge of what is and isn't okay. Step one: burn reddit to the ground. Step two: send dog-whistle racist/misogynist politicians to gulags in the fetid swamps of southern Florida.

carl agatha, Monday, 13 February 2012 18:12 (twelve years ago) link

Ok, I'm honestly very serious about environmental regulations and companies being strong-armed into cleaning up after themselves and would be a total dictator about it.

But since I'm sure most everyone agrees with that, my contribution to our new fascist ilxorland would be enforced American (& state) flag display. Flags are pretty fascist right? I fucking love flags and now you're gonna fly 'em!

things you're secretly kinda libertranny about (beachville), Monday, 13 February 2012 18:12 (twelve years ago) link

Step three: that "girls gone wild" guy publicly pilloried.*

*I don't even know if he's done anything horrible lately. I am just holding a grudge.

carl agatha, Monday, 13 February 2012 18:12 (twelve years ago) link

is anyone against flag burning?

iatee, Monday, 13 February 2012 18:12 (twelve years ago) link

Step two: send dog-whistle racist/misogynist politicians to gulags in the fetid swamps of southern Florida.

I thought you liked me!!

Exile in lolville (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Monday, 13 February 2012 18:13 (twelve years ago) link

Serial rapists should be castrated.

wolf kabob (ENBB), Monday, 13 February 2012 18:13 (twelve years ago) link

is anyone against flag burning?

John Paul Stevens

Exile in lolville (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Monday, 13 February 2012 18:13 (twelve years ago) link

is he reading this thread

iatee, Monday, 13 February 2012 18:13 (twelve years ago) link

xx-post publicly

wolf kabob (ENBB), Monday, 13 February 2012 18:13 (twelve years ago) link

Cyclists need to have front and rear lights while riding at night

Already the law in the state of Ohio. And it specifies a red light in the rear and a white light in the front. I have two each, actually, yr standard battery-powered blinky lights plus these.

Tom Hardy & the Batbreakers (Phil D.), Thursday, 4 October 2012 15:36 (eleven years ago) link

I know people who have this weird irrational anger, a couple years on, that there were bike lanes added to this street near my home. It used to be a clusterfuck of lanes, parking, and unpainted lines as the city decided what to do. It was either a four lane road (two in either direction) plus occasional turning lanes, or three lanes with parking, or w/e. Now it's mostly two lanes of traffic, a center turning lane for about half the length of the road, and two bike lanes. There's also lots more parking.

The only real thing a driver had to learn was that there is a turning lane for right turns where you cross the bike lane into what is usually the parking lane. It's easy, you look for bicyclists, then merge over when the lane has a dashed line. People RAGE about this. Note that this entire stretch of road is 1.5 miles. A mere two blocks up the hill is a four lane road with next to zero traffic, so if you really wanted to avoid this, you could go up there. All of the numbers so far indicate that shops along the stretch are making more money, the number of accidents has gone down, and there's more foot traffic.

I DON'T GET IT.

ɥɯ ︵ (°□°) (mh), Thursday, 4 October 2012 15:42 (eleven years ago) link

people hate change

iatee, Thursday, 4 October 2012 15:43 (eleven years ago) link

I think the rage comes from the fact people want to take the most direct road, drive as fast as they possibly can, and not have to actually look for things near the road. We have places where you can drive like that, they're called suburbs.

ɥɯ ︵ (°□°) (mh), Thursday, 4 October 2012 15:44 (eleven years ago) link

nah man that's called italy

Randy Carol (darraghmac), Thursday, 4 October 2012 15:47 (eleven years ago) link

as someone who didn't own a car until age 28 i'm very sympathetic to cyclists but shitty cyclists (that is, all the cyclists in my neighborhood) enrage me. i think it should be perfectly legal to mow down some beardo fuck going the wrong way down a one-way street.

adam, Thursday, 4 October 2012 15:52 (eleven years ago) link

5 years dungeon for thread derails

how's life, Thursday, 4 October 2012 16:03 (eleven years ago) link

The 10 best drivers I know are still 10,000x the danger to themselves and others than the 10 worst cyclists.

ok I cannot tell you HOW many times a fucking week I almost hit a cyclist because they're not obeying the traffic laws they're supposed to obey. running red lights, etc.

gesange der yuengling (crüt), Thursday, 4 October 2012 16:40 (eleven years ago) link

three or four day work week whatever makes most economic sense but you ~have~ to directly contribute to the construction of entire cities designed by rem koolhaas (maybe) and the organization of massive rio de janeiro style carnivals for the entire population.

I like these suggestions because they seem taken straight of the SIm City 2000 model for urban planning.

The Most Typical and Popular Girl Rider (Crabbits), Thursday, 4 October 2012 16:49 (eleven years ago) link

The 10 best drivers I know are still 10,000x the danger to themselves and others than the 10 worst cyclists.
ok I cannot tell you HOW many times a fucking week I almost hit a cyclist because they're not obeying the traffic laws they're supposed to obey. running red lights, etc.

― gesange der yuengling (crüt), Thursday, October 4, 2012 9:40 AM (43 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

go slower

THEE-AH-TER (Matt P), Thursday, 4 October 2012 17:26 (eleven years ago) link

very very fascisty about drivers bitching about cyclists, and i drive everywhere.

THEE-AH-TER (Matt P), Thursday, 4 October 2012 17:28 (eleven years ago) link

I hit three whole cyclists this morning and I still hate when drivers complain about them

ɥɯ ︵ (°□°) (mh), Thursday, 4 October 2012 17:50 (eleven years ago) link

fuck off, Matt P. I follow the law.

gesange der yuengling (crüt), Thursday, 4 October 2012 17:53 (eleven years ago) link

I don't blame all cyclists for the antics of these clowns that surround my college campus, fwiw -- I think it's an engineering student thing.

gesange der yuengling (crüt), Thursday, 4 October 2012 17:55 (eleven years ago) link

my brother's just been in a bike accident :( on way to hospital now. Jinx.

Randy Carol (darraghmac), Friday, 5 October 2012 19:34 (eleven years ago) link

DARRA. Shit, I'm sorry. Speed to his side and take our support & concern as you go.

purveyor of generations (in orbit), Friday, 5 October 2012 19:35 (eleven years ago) link

:[

gesange der yuengling (crüt), Friday, 5 October 2012 19:37 (eleven years ago) link

best to you and your brother

ɥɯ ︵ (°□°) (mh), Friday, 5 October 2012 19:41 (eleven years ago) link

good luck.

how's life, Friday, 5 October 2012 19:41 (eleven years ago) link

thks guys. Spoke to him and he's ok but banged up a little. Phew

Randy Carol (darraghmac), Friday, 5 October 2012 19:56 (eleven years ago) link

thank goodness!

gesange der yuengling (crüt), Friday, 5 October 2012 20:00 (eleven years ago) link

bicycle meets automobile never ends well, but banged up a little is well to the better side of the spectrum

Aimless, Friday, 5 October 2012 20:02 (eleven years ago) link

pizza

TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Friday, 5 October 2012 20:08 (eleven years ago) link

pssh, who needs an automobile present to have a bike accident

ɥɯ ︵ (°□°) (mh), Friday, 5 October 2012 22:09 (eleven years ago) link

mh otm, no cars involved,

jumper caught in front wheel at speed, no helmet. Big forehead gash, likely be carrying a decent scar for life, likewise from lip to nose (which is broken), large chip off front tooth, broken fingers, maybe torn calf muscle, shock and concussion. And lucky at that.

Randy Carol (darraghmac), Friday, 5 October 2012 22:26 (eleven years ago) link

uuungh I will only be reading that description once

I feel like I got away relatively unscathed with two broken wrists, one of which was unnoticeable to me

ɥɯ ︵ (°□°) (mh), Friday, 5 October 2012 22:42 (eleven years ago) link

what kind of jumper was he wearing, that it could get caught in the front wheel like that?

how's life, Friday, 5 October 2012 22:52 (eleven years ago) link

he had it on the handlebars, he is 32 fyi

Randy Carol (darraghmac), Friday, 5 October 2012 22:56 (eleven years ago) link

sounds horrible. i hit my face hard into the ground in a non-bike accident a few weeks ago and it hurt like absolute hell. the hard bone of your head just smacks right into the unbelievable hardness of the road and any soft tissue in the way just gets smashed right through like it isn't even there. good luck to the poor guy

Superphysical Resurrection (NickB), Friday, 5 October 2012 23:06 (eleven years ago) link

Securing my load when biking.

(me and everyone else reading this thread)

nickn, Friday, 5 October 2012 23:15 (eleven years ago) link

i am p fascisty about fascists

BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Sunday, 7 October 2012 03:23 (eleven years ago) link


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