Movies That Were Probably Made By a Spasm of Six Year-Olds on Acid: The Top 75 Action Films Poll Results Thread

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#75

APOCALYPTO

Mel Gibson
2006
United States
(156 points, 4 votes)

Saw this the other night. Thought I was going to be bored because the capture scene went on a bit, but as it got going it ruled. The city scene is amazing. Costumes deserved triple oscars. Those people with the elaborate headdresses and shaved foreheads!

― Beth Parker

yeah so this basically fucking ruled. I watched it through twice yesterday, once with commentary. gibson is, uh, kind of a crypto-bigot, wow.

― El Tomboto

I just thought it was funny that mel could only remember like three of his actors' names from the whole movie. I mean he did remember a lot of details about so many of the people who worked on the film but clearly in his brain everybody was probably pedro 1, pedro 2, frank, pedro 8, carlito, pedro 26, fast pedro, old pedro, etc.

― El Tomboto

I checked this out of the library and watched it the other night, up to the point where the hero escapes and clambers through the pit of corpses. Right there I could see the entire remainder of the film would be an extended chase scene, so I bailed out.

Mel's POV as a writer and director is simple, simple, simple. The whole plot could be written on a napkin. However, the costumes for this film were utterly, jaw-droppingly fabulous! I can't rave enough about the costumes. The set design, cinematography and editing were all pretty darn good, too, but the costumes were mesmerizing. Loved 'em all.

Bottom line: I still couldn't finish watching the movie. Too reductive and too predictable.

― Aimless

Mel Gibson's APOCALYPTO!

omar little, Monday, 13 February 2012 15:34 (1 year ago) Permalink

omar little, Monday, 13 February 2012 15:35 (1 year ago) Permalink

lol nice title

wolf kabob (ENBB), Monday, 13 February 2012 15:35 (1 year ago) Permalink

luv apocalypto

lag∞n, Monday, 13 February 2012 15:37 (1 year ago) Permalink

kinda like digging a chris brown album at this point, but, yeah, that was a good action movie.

scott seward, Monday, 13 February 2012 15:39 (1 year ago) Permalink

#74

INDIANA JONES AND THE TEMPLE OF DOOM

Steven Spielberg
1984
United States
(157 points, 5 votes)

I'll defend The Temple of Doom as the closest Spielberg came in the series to recreating the absurdity of those Saturday afternoon adventures he loved.

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn

first 20-30 mins of temple of doom are unimpeachable. rest of it... impeachable.

― s1ocki

I'm actually starting to rethink my anti-Temple of Doom stance. It's got some pretty intense moments...like the people being lowered into the lava pit has really creeped me out a time or two. And honestly the kid (I'm just gonna call him Data even though that wasn't his characters name in this, I'll always know that kid as Data) was not really that annoying at all. The blonde lady, on the other hand...
― nickalicious (nickalicious)

Indiana Jones LOVE thread

Rank the Indiana Jones Canon

omar little, Monday, 13 February 2012 15:42 (1 year ago) Permalink

mel gibson is a great artist and is not subject to your petty societal norms xp

lag∞n, Monday, 13 February 2012 15:43 (1 year ago) Permalink

Short...Short-something.

one little aioli (Laurel), Monday, 13 February 2012 15:43 (1 year ago) Permalink

would think it would be lower, maybe? another good one though.

scott seward, Monday, 13 February 2012 15:45 (1 year ago) Permalink

this thread is reminding me that recently got thru like half an end of the world movie on netflix and suddenly realized oh shit this is some christian shit! left behind got a lot to answer for.

scott seward, Monday, 13 February 2012 15:47 (1 year ago) Permalink

SHORT ROUND

man why didn't I get my act together, Temple of Doom would have been on my ballot

I spend a lot of time thinking about apricots (DJP), Monday, 13 February 2012 15:47 (1 year ago) Permalink

<3 Ke "Jonathan" Huy-Quan <3

wolf kabob (ENBB), Monday, 13 February 2012 15:48 (1 year ago) Permalink

#73

GOLDFINGER

Guy Hamilton
1964
United Kingdom
(159 points, 6 votes)

Pussy Galore. the best song. girl killed with gold paint. a guy with a blade in his hat. NO, MR BOND, I EXPECT YOU TO DIE! and only 112 minutes.

― Dr Morbius

Goldfinger isn't necessarily the "best" Bond film, but it's the only "good" one, if that makes sense.

― Chuck_Tatum

Goldfinger looks like such a dork in his golf outfit. The golf scene in the film is tedious, but in the book it's three chapters.

― Les centimètres énigmatiques (snoball)

which is the best James Bond movie?

omar little, Monday, 13 February 2012 15:51 (1 year ago) Permalink

Do you actually suffocate if all your skin is painted and sealed off from this oxygen-bearing world?

one little aioli (Laurel), Monday, 13 February 2012 15:52 (1 year ago) Permalink

yes, if at the same time u do not breathe through your mouth/nose

lag∞n, Monday, 13 February 2012 15:53 (1 year ago) Permalink

i kinda like all the bond movies the same. pretty much. i don't love any of them though. they're all very entertaining.

scott seward, Monday, 13 February 2012 15:54 (1 year ago) Permalink

i mean, i like john barry his own self more than any bond movie.

scott seward, Monday, 13 February 2012 15:55 (1 year ago) Permalink

just crashed a helicopter when i saw that the results for this had started rolling out

some dude, Monday, 13 February 2012 15:58 (1 year ago) Permalink

under a bus.

scott seward, Monday, 13 February 2012 15:59 (1 year ago) Permalink

whole riding a motorcycle.

scott seward, Monday, 13 February 2012 15:59 (1 year ago) Permalink

while riding.

i didn't vote for a lot of recent stuff. sorry recent stuff! in 20 years i will i promise.

scott seward, Monday, 13 February 2012 15:59 (1 year ago) Permalink

Seeing as how I'm quoted in the title of this thread, I'm keeping my fingers crossed that a couple of my favorite WTF THIS MAKES ABSOLUTELY NO SENSE movies made the list.

Unleash the Chang (he did what!) (Austerity Ponies), Monday, 13 February 2012 16:00 (1 year ago) Permalink

got lots of statham love and all that. who doesn't? love lots of recent stuff.

my list of recent stuff would be all milla/statham pretty much.

scott seward, Monday, 13 February 2012 16:01 (1 year ago) Permalink

#72

VANISHING POINT

Richard C. Sarafian
1971
United States
163 points, 5 votes)

Vanishing Point set the standard for anti-establishment chase movies. In my opinion, Kowalski is one of the great anti-heroes in American cinema. The blind soul funk brother DJ, the open road in the American West, the Dodge Challenger into the bulldozers. Badass.

― bryan

In contrast, Vanishing Point is a grindhouse exploitation film that thinks it's Camus on LSD, and the gap between its intent and actuality is massive. I don't mind grindhouse exploitation, but Vanishing Point is pretentious in the worst way possible - stupid convinced that it's smart.

― Edward III (edward iii)

Taking Sides: Vanishing Point vs. Two Lane Blacktop

omar little, Monday, 13 February 2012 16:02 (1 year ago) Permalink

Bond films basically ripoffs of Hitchcock's North by Northwest

Literal Facepalms (Dr Morbius), Monday, 13 February 2012 16:04 (1 year ago) Permalink

ok

Steamtable Willie (WmC), Monday, 13 February 2012 16:05 (1 year ago) Permalink

sadly that movie now just reminds me of the horrible band primal scream. thanks a lot, primal scream. i haven't seen it in years. existential road movies aren't really my thing anymore. though i really did enjoy deadhead miles recently.

scott seward, Monday, 13 February 2012 16:06 (1 year ago) Permalink

http://www.snopes.com/movies/films/goldfinger.asp

Regarding the 'painted gold' thing: It's not true.

Mark G, Monday, 13 February 2012 16:06 (1 year ago) Permalink

i'm not a good hipster cuz two lane blacktop always a bit boring to me. though yeah dennis and james look fab in it. the ultimate hipsters.

scott seward, Monday, 13 February 2012 16:07 (1 year ago) Permalink

Vanishing point was my number one pick! I remember talking with a friend about two different movies that had all these different moments that made no sense being in the same film, and then we realized we were both talking about Vanishing Point, and none of the other party goers believed that such a movie existed.

Unleash the Chang (he did what!) (Austerity Ponies), Monday, 13 February 2012 16:08 (1 year ago) Permalink

Whenever I think that "TV wasn't actually that good back then", I remember I saw two lane blacktop, Vanishing Point and suchlike on good ol' ITV/BBC back in the days...

Mark G, Monday, 13 February 2012 16:08 (1 year ago) Permalink

i should watch vanishing point again soon. it really has been since i was a teen.

scott seward, Monday, 13 February 2012 16:10 (1 year ago) Permalink

psychomania. that's what they played late at night on t.v. all the time when i was a kid.

scott seward, Monday, 13 February 2012 16:10 (1 year ago) Permalink

Vanishing point was my number one pick!

Are you sure Omar got your ballot? He didn't include # of #1 votes in the results info.

Steamtable Willie (WmC), Monday, 13 February 2012 16:11 (1 year ago) Permalink

yes, if at the same time u do not breathe through your mouth/nose

^^^^

Josh in Chicago, Monday, 13 February 2012 16:12 (1 year ago) Permalink

it was your #3, AP!

omar little, Monday, 13 February 2012 16:13 (1 year ago) Permalink

surprised that temple of doom placed so low... also surprised to find myself voting it so high on my ballot. i guess when you have an opening like that the rest of the movie could have feature garfield and i would have voted it high

the jazz zinger (s1ocki), Monday, 13 February 2012 16:13 (1 year ago) Permalink

it was your #3, AP!

― omar little, Monday, February 13, 2012 11:13 AM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

lol

lag∞n, Monday, 13 February 2012 16:14 (1 year ago) Permalink

everyone h8s temple of doom is my understanding

lag∞n, Monday, 13 February 2012 16:14 (1 year ago) Permalink

psychomania. that's what they played late at night on t.v. all the time when i was a kid.

And that one, yes!

Mark G, Monday, 13 February 2012 16:15 (1 year ago) Permalink

#71

DIRTY HARRY

Don Siegel
1971
United States
(165 points, 7 votes)

I have decided I need to see about adopting Inspector Callahan's no-cursing policy of dry sarcasm and cruel disregard for vanity as opposed to my usual sailorstyle shit fuck piss ass bitch banter (starting with muttering "swell" and "marvelous" when receiving, uh, new information).

― El Tomboto

Robinson couldn't fire a gun without screwing his eyes shut and flinching, so they had to stop filming and send him off to a shooting range for a couple of days. Even after that you can still see him blinking whenever he fires. His performance is excellent though, just the simple bit where he's walking across the rooftop tearing up the piece of newspaper does so much to establish that the character is evil.

― snoball

the first "dirty harry" at least is fantastic. i love that shot where the camera just flies back when harry finally confronts scorpio on the football field.

― J.D.

DIRTY HARRY

omar little, Monday, 13 February 2012 16:16 (1 year ago) Permalink

everyone h8s temple of doom is my understanding

― lag∞n, Monday, February 13, 2012 11:14 AM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

maybe i was the only one to vote for it

the jazz zinger (s1ocki), Monday, 13 February 2012 16:17 (1 year ago) Permalink

i went to the same school as andrew robinson! for a year. they had a framed picture of him in the school library. he's awesome. now and then.

scott seward, Monday, 13 February 2012 16:19 (1 year ago) Permalink

o damn, its startin already! temple of doom i havent seen since i was a p small kid, but it was real scary to me back then...

i voted for two bond movies, but goldfinger wasnt one of them, but it's a good'un

you're picking great shots for the pics!

RudolfHitlerFtw (Hungry4Ass), Monday, 13 February 2012 16:19 (1 year ago) Permalink

i had to check to make sure i didn't vote for all of the first three indiana jones movies but nope no temple, i can breathe easy

some dude, Monday, 13 February 2012 16:23 (1 year ago) Permalink

surprised that temple of doom placed so low... also surprised to find myself voting it so high on my ballot. i guess when you have an opening like that the rest of the movie could have feature garfield and i would have voted it high

haha this is so OTM

sorry for not voting ;_;

I spend a lot of time thinking about apricots (DJP), Monday, 13 February 2012 16:24 (1 year ago) Permalink

it never clicked with me until now, but looking at that dirty harry pic its clear that harry callahan is the most badass sweater vest-wearer in cinema history

RudolfHitlerFtw (Hungry4Ass), Monday, 13 February 2012 16:25 (1 year ago) Permalink

it was your #3, AP!

― omar little, Monday, February 13, 2012 11:13 AM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Ha! Just went back and reviewed my list. Wild Bunch & Seven Samurai got top billing, so my votes are less cracked out than I remember.

Unleash the Chang (he did what!) (Austerity Ponies), Monday, 13 February 2012 16:26 (1 year ago) Permalink

it never clicked with me until now, but looking at that dirty harry pic its clear that harry callahan is the most badass sweater vest-wearer in cinema history

suddenly Santorum makes sense

I spend a lot of time thinking about apricots (DJP), Monday, 13 February 2012 16:27 (1 year ago) Permalink

#69 (TIE)

THE HURT LOCKER

Kathryn Bigelow
2009
United States
(167 points, 8 votes)

There were a bunch of times that Bigelow's choices in Hurt Locker had me muttering to myself "100% pure adrenaline" or other quotes from Point Break. Especially the drinking scenes. She loves to shoot scenes of dudes hangin' out.

― Your heartbeat soun like sasquatch feet (polyphonic)

lemme just say that all other merits aside there are some really stunning shots in this pic

― all yoga attacks are fire based (rogermexico.)

Finally saw the Hurt Locker, which I really liked.

I do wonder if Jeremy Renner's character ended up leaving his family again because the way his wife cleaned mushrooms was beyond the pale. Who soaks them in a tub of water?

― ô_o (Nicole)

kathryn bigelow

omar little, Monday, 13 February 2012 16:27 (1 year ago) Permalink

its probably the best movie that ive asked myself "how the hell did this actually get made?" while watching

⚓ (gr8080), Tuesday, 6 March 2012 00:25 (1 year ago) Permalink

This is intense.

Sauvignon Blanc Mange (B.L.A.M.), Tuesday, 6 March 2012 00:53 (1 year ago) Permalink

Holy crap. That was pretty darn good.

Sauvignon Blanc Mange (B.L.A.M.), Tuesday, 6 March 2012 01:53 (1 year ago) Permalink

it's a good one.

scott seward, Tuesday, 6 March 2012 01:53 (1 year ago) Permalink

i wonder why, in l.a.

flesh, the devil, and a wolf (wolf) (amateurist), Tuesday, 6 March 2012 02:52 (1 year ago) Permalink

now streaming on netflix btw (TL&DInLA that is)

WARS OF ARMAGEDDON (Karaoke Version) (Sparkle Motion), Tuesday, 6 March 2012 05:52 (1 year ago) Permalink

omar i'll have mine on a mason jar that i can clip to my belt

(he did what!) (Austerity Ponies), Tuesday, 6 March 2012 14:34 (1 year ago) Permalink

does he wonder "why in L.A.?" or does he "wonder why," in L.A.?

flesh, the devil, and a wolf (wolf) (amateurist), Tuesday, 6 March 2012 23:12 (1 year ago) Permalink

i think i bounce back and forth between the two

A Little Princess btw (s1ocki), Wednesday, 7 March 2012 00:55 (1 year ago) Permalink

(exegesis-wise)

A Little Princess btw (s1ocki), Wednesday, 7 March 2012 00:55 (1 year ago) Permalink

i wish he'd just run away to paradise already.

A Little Princess btw (s1ocki), Wednesday, 7 March 2012 00:55 (1 year ago) Permalink

can we do the SCI FI poll yet?

the late great, Friday, 9 March 2012 17:51 (1 year ago) Permalink

you will SIT and this table and you will FINISH your comedy poll or you don't get any SCI FI. You understand me?

Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 9 March 2012 17:52 (1 year ago) Permalink

*at

so very tired

Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 9 March 2012 17:52 (1 year ago) Permalink

you will SIT and this table will SIT

A Little Princess btw (s1ocki), Friday, 9 March 2012 17:56 (1 year ago) Permalink

IF YOU DON'T EAT YOUR COMEDY YOU CAN'T HAVE ANY SCIFI
HOW CAN YOU HAVE ANY SCIFI IF YOU DON'T EAT YOUR COMEDY

Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 9 March 2012 17:57 (1 year ago) Permalink

maaaan fuck a comedy

the people want SCI FI

the late great, Friday, 9 March 2012 18:03 (1 year ago) Permalink

the people have spoken
now shush

:)

Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 9 March 2012 18:04 (1 year ago) Permalink

so you've all seen The Train by now, right

Literal Facepalms (Dr Morbius), Friday, 9 March 2012 18:31 (1 year ago) Permalink

Yes.

stay in school if you want to kiw (Gukbe), Friday, 9 March 2012 18:32 (1 year ago) Permalink

so you've seen die hard by now, right

A Little Princess btw (s1ocki), Friday, 9 March 2012 18:47 (1 year ago) Permalink

^^^ srsly ^^^

Carlos Pollomar (WmC), Friday, 9 March 2012 19:10 (1 year ago) Permalink

1 month passes...

I know there's a dedicated Expendables thread but I just wanted to post this here because

OMG IT'S A CHEESE EXPLOSION AND IT'S HEADED THIS WAY

Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 3 May 2012 18:03 (1 year ago) Permalink

expendables 2 is on some neverending story 2 shit

goole, Thursday, 3 May 2012 19:03 (1 year ago) Permalink

I finally watched Die Hard 2, loool

Dialog-wise/character-wise, it's not even got a sniff of a chance against Die Hard. And they really could've done with a better villain. That dude sure was no Hans Gruber.
However, for explosion lols it's pretty A+. Snowmobile splosions! Plane splosions! looool that was a lot of fun

Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 9 May 2012 06:52 (1 year ago) Permalink

I forgot about the snowmobiles!

a la bouquet marmoset (Austerity Ponies), Wednesday, 9 May 2012 13:41 (1 year ago) Permalink

2 weeks pass...

omar did the coffee mug happen?

caek, Tuesday, 29 May 2012 16:08 (11 months ago) Permalink

i attempted it but the sites i used wouldn't put it through due to copyright issues. pff as if united artists is making ronin mugs.

omar little, Tuesday, 29 May 2012 23:13 (11 months ago) Permalink

:(

caek, Tuesday, 29 May 2012 23:16 (11 months ago) Permalink

guns out

Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 29 May 2012 23:16 (11 months ago) Permalink

what about just a tin mug like they have in the movie with "i just ambushed you with a cup of coffee" inscribed in nice script

A Little Princess btw (s1ocki), Wednesday, 30 May 2012 00:33 (11 months ago) Permalink

what about just a tin mug like they have in the movie with "i just ambushed you with a cup of coffee" inscribed in nice script

I have access to a laser cutter/engraver. Next time I'm there I'm going to try this.

Elvis Telecom, Wednesday, 30 May 2012 00:41 (11 months ago) Permalink

:D

A Little Princess btw (s1ocki), Wednesday, 30 May 2012 00:41 (11 months ago) Permalink

plz and thank you

catbus otm (gbx), Wednesday, 30 May 2012 01:05 (11 months ago) Permalink

omg

Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 30 May 2012 04:24 (11 months ago) Permalink

he made the cup. he made the cup. he had to have the cup made.

goole, Wednesday, 30 May 2012 04:48 (11 months ago) Permalink

8 months pass...

the part before the climax where crockett & tubbs fistbump exactly when the drums of nu-metal in the air tonight kick in

christmas candy bar (al leong), Saturday, 23 February 2013 02:34 (2 months ago) Permalink

h4a otm

christmas candy bar (al leong), Saturday, 23 February 2013 02:35 (2 months ago) Permalink

that cup ever happen elvis

zero dark (s1ocki), Saturday, 23 February 2013 03:10 (2 months ago) Permalink

christmas candy bar (al leong), Saturday, 23 February 2013 03:18 (2 months ago) Permalink

I'D RATHER BE RONIN

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Saturday, 23 February 2013 03:19 (2 months ago) Permalink

2 weeks pass...

justice is a ride

No, not sinister (Austerity Ponies), Friday, 15 March 2013 17:59 (2 months ago) Permalink

i still lol @ the anger over the 'inception' "placement"

christmas candy bar (al leong), Friday, 15 March 2013 19:17 (2 months ago) Permalink

christmas candy bar (al leong), Friday, 15 March 2013 19:20 (2 months ago) Permalink

"rockin' good times!"

goole, Friday, 15 March 2013 19:38 (2 months ago) Permalink


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