❀ the cult of: ➥motivational speakers ➥life coaches ➥personal growth gurus ➥new-age charlatans ➥AWESOMENESS FEST

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"i was using my creative abilities from music and from writing... and applying it into something solid... that I could you know, change into money somehow"

... and that thing was internet marketing, rather than yanno, like, being a musician or a writer!? o_0

thanks to denial, I'm immortal! (Trayce), Thursday, 2 February 2012 05:38 (4 years ago) Permalink

i love this stuff and am disgusted by it at the same time. it's like cults and capitalism had some weird marriage together. amway is an old fav.

Spectrum, Thursday, 2 February 2012 05:40 (4 years ago) Permalink

Trayce, he said: "FAIL! Don't be a writer" and gave a thumbs down, and even blew a raspberry, if I'm not mistaken!

garbage corn fan (Je55e), Thursday, 2 February 2012 05:41 (4 years ago) Permalink

Oh ok I was skimming the damn thing, he rambles like a cokehead.

thanks to denial, I'm immortal! (Trayce), Thursday, 2 February 2012 05:41 (4 years ago) Permalink

this trend is pretty much the final collective human dreamsong of psychosis before we all lose our identities permanently, rite?

Mordy, Thursday, 2 February 2012 05:43 (4 years ago) Permalink

WTF is Zynnia's mysterious tragedy?

Zynnia’s life has been filled with both blessings and also profound loss.

Zynnia’s sole mission and purpose in life is to fully enjoy each moment and live in full awareness and gratitude for the power of now. Zynnia knows all too well, that at any moment tragedy can strike and the whole world you grow comfortable with can be ripped apart.

garbage corn fan (Je55e), Thursday, 2 February 2012 05:45 (4 years ago) Permalink

she wanted waffles but they served pancakes instead :'(

Mordy, Thursday, 2 February 2012 05:47 (4 years ago) Permalink

I mean

Zynnia has lived through it and she has immense wisdom and maturity from that journey. This is why she very consciously chooses a life of dreams coming true.

"it"?

I'd choose a life where dreams come true, but just this week I dreamed that the copier at work was located at O'Hare airport, so I can't risk it.

garbage corn fan (Je55e), Thursday, 2 February 2012 05:50 (4 years ago) Permalink

"I'm in the process of both expanding and contracting my business."

blew my mind

the "intenterface" (difficult listening hour), Thursday, 2 February 2012 05:50 (4 years ago) Permalink

lol that was my favorite too.

really stoked you are all here, btw.

⚓ (gr8080), Thursday, 2 February 2012 05:51 (4 years ago) Permalink

amway is an old fav.

see, this is the thing... say what you will about Amway, they may be selling you overpriced toothpaste but at least you're getting an actual product to clean your teeth with.

these dudes aren't even that far removed from people who make money teaching men how to date women (Sean Stephenson has actually dipped in to this), but like, at least with Pick Up Artist gurus, the promise is that dudes will come out less afraid of talking to women-- which is a lot more solid than, "awesomeness!".

⚓ (gr8080), Thursday, 2 February 2012 05:51 (4 years ago) Permalink

also a fan of when zynnia shouts "LIVE VICARIOUSLY THROUGH ME AND MY FAMILY!"

the "intenterface" (difficult listening hour), Thursday, 2 February 2012 05:58 (4 years ago) Permalink

lol otm

⚓ (gr8080), Thursday, 2 February 2012 06:01 (4 years ago) Permalink

OUT: dance moms
IN: video moms

⚓ (gr8080), Thursday, 2 February 2012 06:01 (4 years ago) Permalink

so far, my favorite Mindvalley product is QUANTUM JUMPING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

just watch this interview Vishen did at the home of Burt Goldman, developer of the Quantum Jumping method:

http://www.quantumjumping.com/special/meet-burt-goldman

1) count how many times they mention money
2) be sure to watch till 6:43. I promise you won't be disappointed.

⚓ (gr8080), Thursday, 2 February 2012 06:02 (4 years ago) Permalink

i bet you guys are doubling the view count on all of Zynnia's videos right now

⚓ (gr8080), Thursday, 2 February 2012 06:03 (4 years ago) Permalink

quaNTUM JUmping

the parable is the parable of the (Lamp), Thursday, 2 February 2012 06:08 (4 years ago) Permalink

two phrases came into his head the first was PLANT YOURSELF the second was Take lots of pictures

the parable is the parable of the (Lamp), Thursday, 2 February 2012 06:09 (4 years ago) Permalink

heads up, y'all: 2012 will not be the end of the world:

bonus copping of 99% jargon

also:

⚓ (gr8080), Thursday, 2 February 2012 06:10 (4 years ago) Permalink

⚓ (gr8080), Thursday, 2 February 2012 06:11 (4 years ago) Permalink

i was forced (along with my workmates) to attend a customized motivational seminar once. we managed to completely sabotage it -- i think i made one of the two seminar leaders cry. i am not ashamed. these folks are the lowest of the low, occupying a totally unnecessary niche opened up by the worst tendencies of corporate culture and "self-actualization" rhetoric.

flesh, the devil, and a wolf (wolf) (amateurist), Thursday, 2 February 2012 06:11 (4 years ago) Permalink

can you remember who the speaker was?????

⚓ (gr8080), Thursday, 2 February 2012 06:12 (4 years ago) Permalink

"I'm in the process of both expanding and contracting my business."

Trans: "I am in a constant state of starting up new concerns, hoping the IRS wont catch me when I declare bankruptcy on the old ones"

thanks to denial, I'm immortal! (Trayce), Thursday, 2 February 2012 06:14 (4 years ago) Permalink

xpost

no they were nobodies... folks that were routinely hired by the business school of the university where i worked to provide "teamwork seminars" for different groups. i wasn't in the business school but i guess our boss decided to try them out.

IIRC one of the two speakers was trying to get us to learn about "optimizing teamwork" based on lessons from ... wait for it... people who "successfully" survived the holocaust. i interrupted him and told him that i couldn't leave the seminar because i was being paid to attend but that he would not be continuing this line of discussion.

he looked sort of lost, looked at the other speaker who nodded, then he kind of hung his shoulders and stepped aside for the next part of the seminar.

the head of my department, who arranged the seminar, was mortified.

flesh, the devil, and a wolf (wolf) (amateurist), Thursday, 2 February 2012 06:16 (4 years ago) Permalink

"I personally dont believe 2012 will be the end of the world"

WOW AMAZING!~!!!! D:

thanks to denial, I'm immortal! (Trayce), Thursday, 2 February 2012 06:17 (4 years ago) Permalink

xpost

i got a lot of high-fives from coworkers the next day, though.

flesh, the devil, and a wolf (wolf) (amateurist), Thursday, 2 February 2012 06:17 (4 years ago) Permalink

IIRC one of the two speakers was trying to get us to learn about "optimizing teamwork" based on lessons from ... wait for it... people who "successfully" survived the holocaust.

oh my god

horseshoe, Thursday, 2 February 2012 06:18 (4 years ago) Permalink

guys there are also endless amounts of "video cover letters" from people applying for a job at Mindvalley©

&

⚓ (gr8080), Thursday, 2 February 2012 06:19 (4 years ago) Permalink

Yeah wow amst that is... I'm gobsmacked.

thanks to denial, I'm immortal! (Trayce), Thursday, 2 February 2012 06:19 (4 years ago) Permalink

I mean I thought the motivational bullshit day my old workplace pulled on us once was in bad taste (they themed it on "Survivor" the TV show - the week my entire team had been told we were being laid off!).

But that just... wow.

thanks to denial, I'm immortal! (Trayce), Thursday, 2 February 2012 06:20 (4 years ago) Permalink

amateurist that is A+ work

⚓ (gr8080), Thursday, 2 February 2012 06:21 (4 years ago) Permalink

yeah. for a guy who was ostensibly a "motivational" speaker he seemed pretty weak and demoralized. i think i ruined his week. i would've felt bad if his presentation wasn't so egregiously offensive.

flesh, the devil, and a wolf (wolf) (amateurist), Thursday, 2 February 2012 06:21 (4 years ago) Permalink

this stuff is just megachurches but on a smaller screen and without the vestigial jesus part

the "intenterface" (difficult listening hour), Thursday, 2 February 2012 06:26 (4 years ago) Permalink

Mindvalley staff group photo

⚓ (gr8080), Thursday, 2 February 2012 06:30 (4 years ago) Permalink

^all of these people live & work in Kuala Lumpur

⚓ (gr8080), Thursday, 2 February 2012 06:31 (4 years ago) Permalink

the new series "young, attractive, and profoundly flaky" debuts on bravo this saturday!

anyway...

i forgot the other good part of my motivational seminar experience.

one part of the seminar was devoted to a "game" in which we were given note cards, and asked to write--anonymously-- one instance of "positive reinforcement" and one "constructive criticism" of each of our coworkers.

some of my coworkers refused the participate. i should have but decided just to do the "positive reinforcement" part.

some of the "constructive criticism" read like poison pen letters: "beth really has an attitude." "i don't think jeff is any good at his job." "i feel like jeremy is constantly talking down to people."

it made at least one of my coworkers cry. and it ended in a general uproar with us asking the "motivational" speakers for their credentials and wondering aloud how many times they had done this before.

flesh, the devil, and a wolf (wolf) (amateurist), Thursday, 2 February 2012 06:33 (4 years ago) Permalink

so basically, if you see a motivational speaker walking down the street, just go ahead and cold cock him or her. you will do the human race a great service.

flesh, the devil, and a wolf (wolf) (amateurist), Thursday, 2 February 2012 06:34 (4 years ago) Permalink

lol now i want a comedic series based based on motivational speakers in the style of Party Down

⚓ (gr8080), Thursday, 2 February 2012 06:39 (4 years ago) Permalink

that pic looks like a "yelp elite event"

omar little, Thursday, 2 February 2012 06:39 (4 years ago) Permalink

xpost. just getting a total amway vibe from this awesomefest/mindvalley thing. create a culture where you're special (attracting lost souls, of course = easy marks), using gurus to lead you to The Secret of personal fulfillment (making money, somehow), create a fraudulent presentation that being an affiliate will make you lots of it, with only a tiny chance of that happening.

amway's way creepier, but seems like the same basic deal ... deluding poor souls into parting with their money and getting them to shell out more. Mindvalley/Awesomefest seems linked to The Secret somehow. This is actually pretty interesting.

Spectrum, Thursday, 2 February 2012 06:42 (4 years ago) Permalink

my friend just got fired from his job working as a lifecoach

puff puff post (uh oh I'm having a fantasy), Thursday, 2 February 2012 06:43 (4 years ago) Permalink

rather, working for a lifecoach

puff puff post (uh oh I'm having a fantasy), Thursday, 2 February 2012 06:43 (4 years ago) Permalink

lol i was gonna say

⚓ (gr8080), Thursday, 2 February 2012 06:44 (4 years ago) Permalink

Several people who appeared/starred in The Secret have spoken at Awesomeness Fest

⚓ (gr8080), Thursday, 2 February 2012 06:45 (4 years ago) Permalink

seminar as placebo effect

omar little, Thursday, 2 February 2012 06:45 (4 years ago) Permalink

so much shame in that room...

his hands are a dirty fountain through which lives spurt (contenderizer), Thursday, 2 February 2012 06:47 (4 years ago) Permalink

part of an email friend got back when trying to get paid for the two weeks before he was fired:

On an practical and business front. Since you were hired on as a subcontractor in the get go and that from the outset we were going to take a look a few months down the road as to how we were to proceed, I feel as though that has come to fruition. And although the review of things did not look like we both thought it was going to, both initially and according to where we were playing weeks before christmas, it happened the way it did. In my mind it occurred and adjusted to suit the situation and position I found myself in (with complete commitment to not doing another thing that looked like it did prior to that moment). Although that might be hard to explain, interpret or understand, things like this happen for some of us and there is a watershed and things change overnight. It did, there's no other explanation or rationale.

puff puff post (uh oh I'm having a fantasy), Thursday, 2 February 2012 06:50 (4 years ago) Permalink

holy shit

the "intenterface" (difficult listening hour), Thursday, 2 February 2012 06:51 (4 years ago) Permalink

honestly that is the freakiest thing about this phenomenon to me, the way it seems to curdle people's ability to use language properly. a college roommate got really into the landmark forum and it was like she just spoke gibberish all the time suddenly.

horseshoe, Thursday, 2 February 2012 06:55 (4 years ago) Permalink

i have a couple of friends who got into landmark forum and invited me to join a writer's group they were putting together, and i realized about three meetings in i was accidentally getting landmarked.

omar little, Thursday, 2 February 2012 06:56 (4 years ago) Permalink

Yeah some annual gathering is happening in San Diego.

Ned Raggett, Monday, 17 August 2015 23:19 (11 months ago) Permalink

the guy told them a phrase to say at each other and now the whole crowd is peas-n-carrots-ing each other. It sounds like madness.

polyphonic, Monday, 17 August 2015 23:20 (11 months ago) Permalink

The crowd is riveted by this donkey parable.

polyphonic, Monday, 17 August 2015 23:42 (11 months ago) Permalink

Anyone heard of Isagenix? Seems to be tied in with this whole scene.

I think an ex-gf used this stuff when she was losing weight. Didn't get in on the MLM side just bought the overpriced crap from a co-worker.

Kiarostami bag (milo z), Monday, 17 August 2015 23:49 (11 months ago) Permalink

1 month passes...
1 month passes...

i am so glad to see at least on discussion of this on the web. and a good discussion it is. An acquaintance who is pretty much a total flake told me about this 2 years ago and upon looking at the site and reading everything i came away 1) even less informed about what exactly this was and 2) no clue on cost. Not that i was remotely considering this any way. Seriously any one that thinks they are "Awesome, genius, game changer" or what ever other quasi-business/intelligent euphemistic bullshit they want to attach to themselves is inherently not awesome at all. They are an asshole.
So just seems like another scam aimed squarely at those who think they are profound searchers. Easy marks for sure.

r. batty, Tuesday, 3 November 2015 17:23 (8 months ago) Permalink

"IIRC one of the two speakers was trying to get us to learn about "optimizing teamwork" based on lessons from ... wait for it... people who "successfully" survived the holocaust."
holy shit! that's fucked but comic gold.

r. batty, Tuesday, 3 November 2015 18:19 (8 months ago) Permalink

"how did your family survive the holocaust?"
"OPTIMALLY"

Guayaquil (eephus!), Tuesday, 3 November 2015 18:30 (8 months ago) Permalink

2 months pass...

tpp, Monday, 4 January 2016 13:45 (6 months ago) Permalink

jamiesummerz, Monday, 4 January 2016 14:25 (6 months ago) Permalink

mookieproof, Tuesday, 12 January 2016 18:02 (6 months ago) Permalink

sometimes i just wish i had the guile and networking skills to bullshit my way through life like these people.

AdamVania (Adam Bruneau), Tuesday, 12 January 2016 18:49 (6 months ago) Permalink

rmde @ "Edupreneur"

AdamVania (Adam Bruneau), Tuesday, 12 January 2016 18:50 (6 months ago) Permalink

1 month passes...

this is an odd list

http://www.watkinsmagazine.com/watkins-spiritual-100-list-2016#.Vr3o4ij1Cd0.twitter

Οὖτις, Friday, 12 February 2016 17:38 (5 months ago) Permalink

no lag∞n, no credibility

μpright mammal (mh), Friday, 12 February 2016 18:54 (5 months ago) Permalink

2 weeks pass...

http://sebpearce.com/bullshit/

wizzz! (amateurist), Thursday, 3 March 2016 21:16 (4 months ago) Permalink

3 weeks pass...

fuck guys how did i miss they totally rebranded??

gr8080, Monday, 28 March 2016 01:42 (4 months ago) Permalink

A fest for u

μpright mammal (mh), Monday, 28 March 2016 14:16 (4 months ago) Permalink

"mind valley" kind of makes me picture this brain with a big chunk missing on top, in the shape of a valley.

human life won't become a cat (man alive), Monday, 28 March 2016 15:55 (4 months ago) Permalink

Uncanny mind valley.

nickn, Monday, 28 March 2016 18:36 (4 months ago) Permalink

rising_wedge_of_head.gif

Milton Parker, Monday, 28 March 2016 18:55 (4 months ago) Permalink

1 month passes...

my mom (former Andrew Cohen follower) forwarded this to me, "warning" me that it refers to Cohen's group as a cult (as if I care). She's moved on to some other guy, Thomas something.

Οὖτις, Thursday, 26 May 2016 20:32 (2 months ago) Permalink

I am fine with not being radically anything tbh

μpright mammal (mh), Thursday, 26 May 2016 20:50 (2 months ago) Permalink

Guayaquil (eephus!), Friday, 3 June 2016 02:46 (1 month ago) Permalink

i'm pretty sure i've discovered the new snorg girl

Guayaquil (eephus!), Friday, 3 June 2016 02:46 (1 month ago) Permalink

1 month passes...

technically NSFW photos:

http://www.harpersbazaar.com/culture/features/a16297/inside-the-worlds-chicest-cult/

gr8080, Tuesday, 19 July 2016 15:06 (1 week ago) Permalink

Fun article. Feels like it's the inverse of fedora types, defending "traditional" (recent invention) ideas of gender while being blissfully unaware that times have changed and you can't get away with that stuff anymore. They'll probably do less harm with the feminine caring sharing motherhood emphasis than the patriarchys HULK SMASH but they seem to be coming from the same instinct.

barbarian radge (NotEnough), Sunday, 24 July 2016 12:34 (1 week ago) Permalink


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