❀ the cult of: ➥motivational speakers ➥life coaches ➥personal growth gurus ➥new-age charlatans ➥AWESOMENESS FEST

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"i was using my creative abilities from music and from writing... and applying it into something solid... that I could you know, change into money somehow"

... and that thing was internet marketing, rather than yanno, like, being a musician or a writer!? o_0

thanks to denial, I'm immortal! (Trayce), Thursday, 2 February 2012 05:38 (2 years ago) Permalink

i love this stuff and am disgusted by it at the same time. it's like cults and capitalism had some weird marriage together. amway is an old fav.

Spectrum, Thursday, 2 February 2012 05:40 (2 years ago) Permalink

Trayce, he said: "FAIL! Don't be a writer" and gave a thumbs down, and even blew a raspberry, if I'm not mistaken!

garbage corn fan (Je55e), Thursday, 2 February 2012 05:41 (2 years ago) Permalink

Oh ok I was skimming the damn thing, he rambles like a cokehead.

thanks to denial, I'm immortal! (Trayce), Thursday, 2 February 2012 05:41 (2 years ago) Permalink

this trend is pretty much the final collective human dreamsong of psychosis before we all lose our identities permanently, rite?

Mordy, Thursday, 2 February 2012 05:43 (2 years ago) Permalink

WTF is Zynnia's mysterious tragedy?

Zynnia’s life has been filled with both blessings and also profound loss.

Zynnia’s sole mission and purpose in life is to fully enjoy each moment and live in full awareness and gratitude for the power of now. Zynnia knows all too well, that at any moment tragedy can strike and the whole world you grow comfortable with can be ripped apart.

garbage corn fan (Je55e), Thursday, 2 February 2012 05:45 (2 years ago) Permalink

she wanted waffles but they served pancakes instead :'(

Mordy, Thursday, 2 February 2012 05:47 (2 years ago) Permalink

I mean

Zynnia has lived through it and she has immense wisdom and maturity from that journey. This is why she very consciously chooses a life of dreams coming true.

"it"?

I'd choose a life where dreams come true, but just this week I dreamed that the copier at work was located at O'Hare airport, so I can't risk it.

garbage corn fan (Je55e), Thursday, 2 February 2012 05:50 (2 years ago) Permalink

"I'm in the process of both expanding and contracting my business."

blew my mind

the "intenterface" (difficult listening hour), Thursday, 2 February 2012 05:50 (2 years ago) Permalink

lol that was my favorite too.

really stoked you are all here, btw.

⚓ (gr8080), Thursday, 2 February 2012 05:51 (2 years ago) Permalink

amway is an old fav.

see, this is the thing... say what you will about Amway, they may be selling you overpriced toothpaste but at least you're getting an actual product to clean your teeth with.

these dudes aren't even that far removed from people who make money teaching men how to date women (Sean Stephenson has actually dipped in to this), but like, at least with Pick Up Artist gurus, the promise is that dudes will come out less afraid of talking to women-- which is a lot more solid than, "awesomeness!".

⚓ (gr8080), Thursday, 2 February 2012 05:51 (2 years ago) Permalink

also a fan of when zynnia shouts "LIVE VICARIOUSLY THROUGH ME AND MY FAMILY!"

the "intenterface" (difficult listening hour), Thursday, 2 February 2012 05:58 (2 years ago) Permalink

lol otm

⚓ (gr8080), Thursday, 2 February 2012 06:01 (2 years ago) Permalink

OUT: dance moms
IN: video moms

⚓ (gr8080), Thursday, 2 February 2012 06:01 (2 years ago) Permalink

so far, my favorite Mindvalley product is QUANTUM JUMPING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

just watch this interview Vishen did at the home of Burt Goldman, developer of the Quantum Jumping method:

http://www.quantumjumping.com/special/meet-burt-goldman

1) count how many times they mention money
2) be sure to watch till 6:43. I promise you won't be disappointed.

⚓ (gr8080), Thursday, 2 February 2012 06:02 (2 years ago) Permalink

i bet you guys are doubling the view count on all of Zynnia's videos right now

⚓ (gr8080), Thursday, 2 February 2012 06:03 (2 years ago) Permalink

quaNTUM JUmping

the parable is the parable of the (Lamp), Thursday, 2 February 2012 06:08 (2 years ago) Permalink

two phrases came into his head the first was PLANT YOURSELF the second was Take lots of pictures

the parable is the parable of the (Lamp), Thursday, 2 February 2012 06:09 (2 years ago) Permalink

heads up, y'all: 2012 will not be the end of the world:

bonus copping of 99% jargon

also:

⚓ (gr8080), Thursday, 2 February 2012 06:10 (2 years ago) Permalink

⚓ (gr8080), Thursday, 2 February 2012 06:11 (2 years ago) Permalink

i was forced (along with my workmates) to attend a customized motivational seminar once. we managed to completely sabotage it -- i think i made one of the two seminar leaders cry. i am not ashamed. these folks are the lowest of the low, occupying a totally unnecessary niche opened up by the worst tendencies of corporate culture and "self-actualization" rhetoric.

flesh, the devil, and a wolf (wolf) (amateurist), Thursday, 2 February 2012 06:11 (2 years ago) Permalink

can you remember who the speaker was?????

⚓ (gr8080), Thursday, 2 February 2012 06:12 (2 years ago) Permalink

"I'm in the process of both expanding and contracting my business."

Trans: "I am in a constant state of starting up new concerns, hoping the IRS wont catch me when I declare bankruptcy on the old ones"

thanks to denial, I'm immortal! (Trayce), Thursday, 2 February 2012 06:14 (2 years ago) Permalink

xpost

no they were nobodies... folks that were routinely hired by the business school of the university where i worked to provide "teamwork seminars" for different groups. i wasn't in the business school but i guess our boss decided to try them out.

IIRC one of the two speakers was trying to get us to learn about "optimizing teamwork" based on lessons from ... wait for it... people who "successfully" survived the holocaust. i interrupted him and told him that i couldn't leave the seminar because i was being paid to attend but that he would not be continuing this line of discussion.

he looked sort of lost, looked at the other speaker who nodded, then he kind of hung his shoulders and stepped aside for the next part of the seminar.

the head of my department, who arranged the seminar, was mortified.

flesh, the devil, and a wolf (wolf) (amateurist), Thursday, 2 February 2012 06:16 (2 years ago) Permalink

"I personally dont believe 2012 will be the end of the world"

WOW AMAZING!~!!!! D:

thanks to denial, I'm immortal! (Trayce), Thursday, 2 February 2012 06:17 (2 years ago) Permalink

xpost

i got a lot of high-fives from coworkers the next day, though.

flesh, the devil, and a wolf (wolf) (amateurist), Thursday, 2 February 2012 06:17 (2 years ago) Permalink

IIRC one of the two speakers was trying to get us to learn about "optimizing teamwork" based on lessons from ... wait for it... people who "successfully" survived the holocaust.

oh my god

horseshoe, Thursday, 2 February 2012 06:18 (2 years ago) Permalink

guys there are also endless amounts of "video cover letters" from people applying for a job at Mindvalley©

&

⚓ (gr8080), Thursday, 2 February 2012 06:19 (2 years ago) Permalink

Yeah wow amst that is... I'm gobsmacked.

thanks to denial, I'm immortal! (Trayce), Thursday, 2 February 2012 06:19 (2 years ago) Permalink

I mean I thought the motivational bullshit day my old workplace pulled on us once was in bad taste (they themed it on "Survivor" the TV show - the week my entire team had been told we were being laid off!).

But that just... wow.

thanks to denial, I'm immortal! (Trayce), Thursday, 2 February 2012 06:20 (2 years ago) Permalink

amateurist that is A+ work

⚓ (gr8080), Thursday, 2 February 2012 06:21 (2 years ago) Permalink

yeah. for a guy who was ostensibly a "motivational" speaker he seemed pretty weak and demoralized. i think i ruined his week. i would've felt bad if his presentation wasn't so egregiously offensive.

flesh, the devil, and a wolf (wolf) (amateurist), Thursday, 2 February 2012 06:21 (2 years ago) Permalink

this stuff is just megachurches but on a smaller screen and without the vestigial jesus part

the "intenterface" (difficult listening hour), Thursday, 2 February 2012 06:26 (2 years ago) Permalink

Mindvalley staff group photo

⚓ (gr8080), Thursday, 2 February 2012 06:30 (2 years ago) Permalink

^all of these people live & work in Kuala Lumpur

⚓ (gr8080), Thursday, 2 February 2012 06:31 (2 years ago) Permalink

the new series "young, attractive, and profoundly flaky" debuts on bravo this saturday!

anyway...

i forgot the other good part of my motivational seminar experience.

one part of the seminar was devoted to a "game" in which we were given note cards, and asked to write--anonymously-- one instance of "positive reinforcement" and one "constructive criticism" of each of our coworkers.

some of my coworkers refused the participate. i should have but decided just to do the "positive reinforcement" part.

some of the "constructive criticism" read like poison pen letters: "beth really has an attitude." "i don't think jeff is any good at his job." "i feel like jeremy is constantly talking down to people."

it made at least one of my coworkers cry. and it ended in a general uproar with us asking the "motivational" speakers for their credentials and wondering aloud how many times they had done this before.

flesh, the devil, and a wolf (wolf) (amateurist), Thursday, 2 February 2012 06:33 (2 years ago) Permalink

so basically, if you see a motivational speaker walking down the street, just go ahead and cold cock him or her. you will do the human race a great service.

flesh, the devil, and a wolf (wolf) (amateurist), Thursday, 2 February 2012 06:34 (2 years ago) Permalink

lol now i want a comedic series based based on motivational speakers in the style of Party Down

⚓ (gr8080), Thursday, 2 February 2012 06:39 (2 years ago) Permalink

that pic looks like a "yelp elite event"

omar little, Thursday, 2 February 2012 06:39 (2 years ago) Permalink

xpost. just getting a total amway vibe from this awesomefest/mindvalley thing. create a culture where you're special (attracting lost souls, of course = easy marks), using gurus to lead you to The Secret of personal fulfillment (making money, somehow), create a fraudulent presentation that being an affiliate will make you lots of it, with only a tiny chance of that happening.

amway's way creepier, but seems like the same basic deal ... deluding poor souls into parting with their money and getting them to shell out more. Mindvalley/Awesomefest seems linked to The Secret somehow. This is actually pretty interesting.

Spectrum, Thursday, 2 February 2012 06:42 (2 years ago) Permalink

my friend just got fired from his job working as a lifecoach

puff puff post (uh oh I'm having a fantasy), Thursday, 2 February 2012 06:43 (2 years ago) Permalink

rather, working for a lifecoach

puff puff post (uh oh I'm having a fantasy), Thursday, 2 February 2012 06:43 (2 years ago) Permalink

lol i was gonna say

⚓ (gr8080), Thursday, 2 February 2012 06:44 (2 years ago) Permalink

Several people who appeared/starred in The Secret have spoken at Awesomeness Fest

⚓ (gr8080), Thursday, 2 February 2012 06:45 (2 years ago) Permalink

seminar as placebo effect

omar little, Thursday, 2 February 2012 06:45 (2 years ago) Permalink

so much shame in that room...

his hands are a dirty fountain through which lives spurt (contenderizer), Thursday, 2 February 2012 06:47 (2 years ago) Permalink

part of an email friend got back when trying to get paid for the two weeks before he was fired:

On an practical and business front. Since you were hired on as a subcontractor in the get go and that from the outset we were going to take a look a few months down the road as to how we were to proceed, I feel as though that has come to fruition. And although the review of things did not look like we both thought it was going to, both initially and according to where we were playing weeks before christmas, it happened the way it did. In my mind it occurred and adjusted to suit the situation and position I found myself in (with complete commitment to not doing another thing that looked like it did prior to that moment). Although that might be hard to explain, interpret or understand, things like this happen for some of us and there is a watershed and things change overnight. It did, there's no other explanation or rationale.

puff puff post (uh oh I'm having a fantasy), Thursday, 2 February 2012 06:50 (2 years ago) Permalink

holy shit

the "intenterface" (difficult listening hour), Thursday, 2 February 2012 06:51 (2 years ago) Permalink

honestly that is the freakiest thing about this phenomenon to me, the way it seems to curdle people's ability to use language properly. a college roommate got really into the landmark forum and it was like she just spoke gibberish all the time suddenly.

horseshoe, Thursday, 2 February 2012 06:55 (2 years ago) Permalink

i have a couple of friends who got into landmark forum and invited me to join a writer's group they were putting together, and i realized about three meetings in i was accidentally getting landmarked.

omar little, Thursday, 2 February 2012 06:56 (2 years ago) Permalink

and then she went in the vortex.

Very Gelb; thanks for asking. (fake penthouse letters mcgee), Thursday, 28 November 2013 12:45 (9 months ago) Permalink

Bashar is a multi-dimensional extra-terrestrial being who speaks through channel Darryl Anka from what we perceive as the future. Bashar explores a wide-range of subjects with great insight, humor and a profound understanding of how reality creation occurs!

http://bashar.org/

|$̲̅(̲̅ιοο̲̅)̲̅$̲̅| (gr8080), Friday, 6 December 2013 21:07 (9 months ago) Permalink

does bashar tell darryl to wear hawaiian shirts all the time?

call all destroyer, Friday, 6 December 2013 21:10 (9 months ago) Permalink

|$̲̅(̲̅ιοο̲̅)̲̅$̲̅| (gr8080), Friday, 6 December 2013 21:10 (9 months ago) Permalink

someone tried to landmark me at a party recently and i thought of this thread

Hungry4Ass, Friday, 6 December 2013 21:29 (9 months ago) Permalink

I watched Bashar speak for a good half hour or more once, and he does seem to have a sense of humour about what he's doing, or a kind of acknowledgement that it isn't necessarily legit, more of a "if you're the type of person who gets behind this kind of thing, here's some self-help stuff that works" deal.

nickn, Friday, 6 December 2013 21:35 (9 months ago) Permalink

xpost

this thread is your friend and honored that you think of it in times of need

it is also here for you should you ever require consultation on the subject of lava traction

Milton Parker, Friday, 6 December 2013 21:37 (9 months ago) Permalink

I read a book that synthesized the origins of est/Synanon/Landmark/etc and how those philosophies/organizations lead to a lot of those teen death camps (my term for them) where "troubled kids" whose parents have a lot of money send them to an island or the woods or whatever to be "straightened out." This book was interesting for a lot of reasons, but seeing the development of that seed of an idea that lead to a lot of the weirder and more aggro incarnations of expensive/dubious self-help was my favorite part. The book is Help at Any Cost: How the Troubled-Teen Industry Cons Parents and Hurts Kids.

― I'm trying to think of all the ways I can inspire you (Abbbottt), Thursday, February 2, 2012 9:24 AM (1 year ago) Bookmark

its cool how theres literally a gigantic Child Torture Industry where parents sign over a percentage of their guardianship to overseas schools where they can get away with treating "troubled" kids like they're in a russian prison while the one guy on staff who writes english well enough to impersonate them writes fake leters to your parents saying how awesome it is there. and its even cooler that its insanely well documented and still most americans are either indifferent, ignorant or openly approve of it

Hungry4Ass, Friday, 6 December 2013 23:33 (9 months ago) Permalink

yeah it's like extraordinary rendition for teens

socki (s1ocki), Friday, 6 December 2013 23:54 (9 months ago) Permalink

love the "whoa!" when he says how many people he's performed in front of @ 4:15

chilli, Saturday, 7 December 2013 00:02 (9 months ago) Permalink

fyi i discovered Bashar via the latest (quite sublime) episode of:

High Maintenance - Very good web-series. Discuss.

recommended to all fans of this thread:

http://vimeo.com/79948720

|$̲̅(̲̅ιοο̲̅)̲̅$̲̅| (gr8080), Saturday, 7 December 2013 00:19 (9 months ago) Permalink

1 month passes...

www.youtube.com/watch?v=b7oauQt8Y-U#t=2

shite rep (qiqing), Monday, 13 January 2014 01:23 (8 months ago) Permalink

haha fuck https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b7oauQt8Y-U#t=2

shite rep (qiqing), Monday, 13 January 2014 01:23 (8 months ago) Permalink

Mom has a new guru. Thomas Hubl. His facebook page makes me facepalm unfortunately but hey my mom has always been into this stuff.

Ayn Rand Akbar (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 13 January 2014 01:30 (8 months ago) Permalink

1 month passes...

After finishing grad school I've been tentatively dipping my toe into applying for jobs in the "real world" outside of academia, and it seems like the entire world is like the people mocked in this thread! I don't understand how anyone in the private sector can get any real work accomplished through all the buzz words and double talk. It seems plain that it's a result of a whole class of managers and HR people who literally serve no useful purpose at all, but have insinuated themselves as parasites on the corporate system.

I know none of that is new or insightful, but I had always assumed that all that Office Space / Dilbert stuff was parody and exaggeration, but it seems that if anything it's understated!

Just the entire concept of "leadership" is such a transparent scam.

Dan I., Tuesday, 4 March 2014 23:39 (6 months ago) Permalink

Thomas Hübl is a contemporary spiritual teacher, who practices mysticism in his own life, and also imparts it to others, in a manner that is entirely in keeping with the times. His work integrates the essence of the great traditions of wisdom with scientific knowledge and his own personal experience. His work, which he executes with uncompromising clarity, leads to the birth of new 'we-cultures'. He has the special gift of truly understanding people and being able to apply the timeless knowledge that has been revealed to him when engaging with them enabling people to gain a deeper dimension of self-awareness and responsibility.
This radical transcendence of the ego-centric world view opens the door to a depth of authentic expression, to service to the world, and to a focus on the absolute.
Thomas Hübl has devoted his life to the task of exploring awareness and supporting others in their quest for greater awareness. His work has world-wide resonance

Kiarostami bag (milo z), Wednesday, 5 March 2014 00:15 (6 months ago) Permalink

my mom gets visibly irritated when I refer to him as a guru. "He's a teacher!"

eh it's her life

How dare you tarnish the reputation of Turturro's yodel (Shakey Mo Collier), Wednesday, 5 March 2014 00:19 (6 months ago) Permalink

Xp Yeh in corpland looking the part and telling everyone how awesome you are is a big part of the job. It stings for a while but that's just your pride fucking with you. I'm not very good at this bit of my job, is must be said.

DISMISSED AS CHANCE (NotEnough), Wednesday, 5 March 2014 23:31 (6 months ago) Permalink

3 months pass...

caity weaver, ladies & gents:

http://gawker.com/this-mans-gaze-is-harmful-to-pregnant-women-1595615723

°ㅇ๐ْ ° (gr8080), Thursday, 26 June 2014 15:21 (2 months ago) Permalink

I've been pronouncing his name wrong all this time.

polyphonic, Thursday, 26 June 2014 18:06 (2 months ago) Permalink

*stares at u*

goole, Thursday, 26 June 2014 20:59 (2 months ago) Permalink

2 months pass...

╲╱\/╲/\╱╲╱\/\ (gr8080), Monday, 8 September 2014 14:48 (1 week ago) Permalink

Wow, that's almost crippling stupid, including the bits where he goes on about teaching his kid all religions.

Stephen King's Threaderstarter (kingfish), Monday, 8 September 2014 16:43 (1 week ago) Permalink

http://www.prweb.com/releases/consciousness-engineering/review/prweb12164279.htm

Mindvalley founder Vishen Lakhiani reveals his brand new Consciousness Engineering masterclass that uncovers the unique method for unleashing our potential. This masterclass exposes the secrets of how to “hack” into one’s mindset and transform their life to enjoy more abundance, success, better relationships & more.

...

During this one hour masterclass, viewers will learn the secrets to “Hacking” human potential. They will experience and realize the things that empower them to change beliefs, habits and results. Vishen will uncover the secrets of “hacking” reality where viewers will learn how to upgrade their lives to enjoy more abundance, success, better relationships & more. They will discover the simple shift in mindset which helped Vishen’s income explode 400% in just one year – and how viewers can effortlessly apply this secret in their own life. Viewers will also learn about beliefs and a simple way to create a new mindset by “installing” new, empowering beliefs… which one chooses. Learn how one simple shift can change expectations from negative to positive and how to smash the illusions that holds one back from achieving the most out of life.
“His knowledge base and his ability to present it clearly and to actually put it into practice is above anyone I have ever seen in this field. I am very excited and glad to recommend his work”, says Jack Canfield - Co-Author of the New York Times Best Selling Chicken Soup for the Soul Series

╲╱\/╲/\╱╲╱\/\ (gr8080), Friday, 12 September 2014 15:04 (1 week ago) Permalink

my god

goole, Friday, 12 September 2014 18:35 (1 week ago) Permalink

It'd be a neat study to track the different framings that hucksters have used to hawk their gnosis over the decades.

I doubt that each would use as many scare quotes, tho

Stephen King's Threaderstarter (kingfish), Friday, 12 September 2014 18:56 (1 week ago) Permalink

The crazy thing about all this is that it all just bottoms out at affiliate marketing and pyramid schemes.

Spirit of Match Game '76 (silby), Tuesday, 16 September 2014 05:50 (5 days ago) Permalink


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