Now that we found love what are we gonna do? The Winter 2011-12 Gay Thread

Nice/ouch

http://sexyuglyicon.tumblr.com/post/3462861804/icon-denis-lavant-source

yow

niiiice

hi.

nice

212

ugh. i feel like i've effectively become recloseted

Someone forced you?

by Azealia Banks?

eric, i have no idea what that question means

to yr fam?

what's going on, Rev?

xp no, obv. just to new ppl i meet, even ppl who have become very close friends

They probably still know.

I mean, if you've told them, they do.

yeah, maybe. i've just kind of adopted a policy of let people assume whatever they want about my sexuality, i don't have to explain shit. which seemed logical at the time, but i'm realizing i really wish i was more forthcoming.

xp, no that's the problem, i haven't been telling anybody. and i keep having ppl who otherwise know me well, assume i'm 100% straight.

i think you guys are misunderstanding me, the issue isn't concerning anyone i've been out to in the past, it's new people i've met in the past year or so

You don't have to shove your Gay Business Card into their hand in the first 5 mins, you know. I know it's hard/weird sometimes, but just be natural about it.

There's no correct way to do it, I've found. Best to drop a remark at a bar when a bro comments on a girl ("Fuck that, man, did you see her boyfriend?") or in some other casual way.

I guess I'd wonder how many people you have a deep need to tell? There are definitely a lot of people I meet in any given year I'm not at all interested in sharing that (dormant) aspect of my personal life.

I know it's probably a different set of concerns if you're bi, tho.

i was just talking about this the other night - coming out is such a tediously ENDLESS process if you're not totally flaming. plus, the kind of comment you need to drop in to point people in the right direction is often a bit too crude for some situations.

"interested in: men" on facebook has been genuinely useful in this regard.

many xps - surm i've been trying to work out for quite a while whether i find ryan harrison attractive. it's quite an enjoyable process tbh. i already know that i do not find him to be a particularly likeable tennis player and his game is not compelling: i have no plans to cheer for him.

I really enjoy the rare times ppl flat-out ask "Are you gay?" bcz I love coming back w/ "so far"

i haven't been asked that in a while. either it's super obv or i just haven't really met any new ppl in awhile. probs both.

"interested in: men"

I've rejected that wording, myself.

i was just talking about this the other night - coming out is such a tediously ENDLESS process if you're not totally flaming

Yes. Case in point: this morning yet another coworker expressed surprise on learning the delicious news.

interested in: Carol Channing

"Interested in: myself"

Which is, on FB, redundant.

to love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance, etc.

And just as tempestuous.

yeah, i dunno, it bugs me that i'm not being assertive at all when ppl assume i'm straight tho. i'm not saying i have to shout it from the rafters. i guess a couple things that have happened in the past week have brought it into relief. there's a straight couple i've formed a very intense friendship with in the past few months and i've found myself on the verge of coming out to them at a few appropriate moments, but always stopped myself. i was just talking to the gf last week about my lack of love and she was all "don't worry, just let it happen and you'll find the right girl", and i felt stupid and cowardly for not coming out to her at that moment. and then the other thing, a (less close, admittedly) friend teasingly suggested i might be gay in a way that seemed to imply his true assumption is that i'm straight. which was kind of revealing like do i strike ppl as kinda faggy but not like actually gay per se?

and yeah, bi concerns, although i'm p confused about that tbh. like i know i'm very much attracted to women, and i've dated and fooled around with women in the past, but something always feels kind of awkward and not quite correct about it that it doesn't when i'm with a guy. so, i'm not sure how interested i am in women for practical purposes at this point. and i'm always worried that my gay side will drive them away. i've kind of come to the conclusion that i could be with a bi woman but not a straight woman. i'm totally stuck on whether to tell ppl i'm gay or bi. maybe i should just tell ppl i'm a kinsey 4. the last guy i dated, after i said something about my gayness, was like "no, you are so totally bi!" i often wish i was completely 100% gay, that would be so much simpler!

i really should use proper capitalization when writing big blocks of text

I really enjoy the rare times ppl flat-out ask "Are you gay?" bcz I love coming back w/ "so far"

― Dr Morbois de Bologne (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, January 17, 2012 11:18 AM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Oh god, the last time someone did this, it was in front of my dad, which, even though i'm out to him, was awkward as fuck.

yeah, that would not make it fun.

man, sorry rev, that has to be maddening

yeah, what a pain in the arse

Despite having enjoyed my handful of experiences with women, I tend to round up to gay. It's just more convenient and more accurately describes what I'm into/looking/for/want or just sort of go for the all-purpose queer.

In other news, I just remembered this afternoon that idly staring at cute guys on the bus is one of life's great joys.

And I finally got a haircut and feel vibrant and awake and human again. Shaggy mane was weighing me down.

Will post a picture soonish.

cannot WAIT to get a haircut

it changes my whole outlook

i need to fix my haircut. i don't like it.

Growing this beard is my version of getting a haircut.

i think the beard looks v nice on you in that pic, eric

yes it's v impressive!

interested in: Carol Channing

― Dr Morbois de Bologne (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, January 17, 2012 1:27 PM (9 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

actual lol

Rev, it's tough to tell established friends if you weren't actually in the closet and hiding it from them. If you're just coming out of the closet, it's a lot easier to answer the inevitable "Why didn't you tell me before?!" than if you are correcting their assumptions. Anyway, I'm wishing you the best.

Alfred OTM re "look at that cute guy" (or mentions of a/n ex/boyfriend).

Haircuts OTM. Beards too, Eric's in particular!

i'm contemplating adding a pride pin to my bag. seems kinda tacky tho.

Rainbows are so gaudy. Bear pride colors are much nicer.

Bear pride colors are basically a more saturated version of any given pit stop at Pinterest.

hi