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Actually she was a bit of a Gower, as in related to David Gower, the famous leicestershire batsman.

Octavia Alfonso Gower was her full name, nothing at all to do with the Kesh Mongreilf family whatsoevahhhh

― Foxy Sideburns, Friday, 28 January 2005 18:54 (nineteen years ago) link

I'm not surprised, seeing Kevin Hewick live always makes me feel like a good, hard shag.

― Sandie Bush, Friday, 28 January 2005 18:56 (nineteen years ago) link

I get similar urges seeing MJ Hibbert, especially after a few lager and blacks.

― Big Mad Susan, Tuesday, 1 February 2005 10:37 (nineteen years ago) link

Hey Mad Susan, if you want to get off with MJ Hibbett learn to spell his name properly. We hear he tests people before having sex.

― The Noing Sisters, Tuesday, 1 February 2005 20:44 (nineteen years ago) link

God, I'm going out and buying the biggest dictionary I can find. Mmm-mm.

― Big Mad Susan, Wednesday, 2 February 2005 12:53 (nineteen years ago) link

Scottish Mick has taken on a new sideline project/job, that is disposing of any unwanted coffee tables anyone might have. Disposing of unwanted coffee tables is not as easy as you'd think (the council now charge for taking away household objects), but Mick has thought of an ingenious way to do it. In order to the reduce the size of the furniture he psychs himself up by dancing manically to "She's Lost Control" by Joy Division and then does a big belly flop onto said table smashing the legs off in one fell swoop. He can also dye carpets (tho only pink) using a special sceret formula only he knows (he will also grant Prolapse fans who know the lyrics to Doorstop Rhythmic Bloc a special 'two for one' deal where he will do both for no extra charge).

― Mongreilf, Wednesday, 2 February 2005 15:09 (nineteen years ago) link

Well he's got competition. Steve Baker has been dying his friends carpets a dirty pink for years. Upholstery too.

― Mongreilf (The real one), Wednesday, 2 February 2005 15:51 (nineteen years ago) link

I hear Steve Baker also provides this service completey free of charge

― Let me sleep in a bush, Wednesday, 2 February 2005 16:07 (nineteen years ago) link

The Ming Mang Mong charity gig came to a premature end last night when Geordie Mick went into a trance like state during the first song, "Theme from Ming Mang Mong", spinning round and round chanting the words like a mantra with his eyes closed, and fell off stage knocking himself unconcious. He was rushed to hospital, and support band Men with Cigars had to do an impromptu second set to try to calm the restless crowd. They decided to do some Prolapse covers but only knew "Fear of teeth", "Irritating radiator" and "Liquid compliment" plus the Prolapse tribute song "A hat, A hat, A mongoose and A hat" by The Scringe.

― Mad Mang, Wednesday, 2 February 2005 18:19 (nineteen years ago) link

There's a press conference scheduled for the visitors room in Leicester General Hospital (floor 3, B ward) at 3pm this afternoon by "Michael Daltrey Townsend Entwistle Moon Topographic Oceans Harrison".

It's rumoured that the complete tracklisting of the new Haggis Collective album "White Light, White Cyder" will be announced.

I for one am positively trembling with excitment.

― Call the polis - there's a Mad Mang in town, Friday, 4 February 2005 10:27 (nineteen years ago) link

Here is a leaked partially complete tracklist for the new Haggis Collective/MMM album of cover versions of songs which have influenced Geordie Mick in his formative years:

Ming me a mong (Marc Bolan)
Mangalang (Bay City Rollers)
Every little ming she does is manky (The Police)
Mang Mang (Cher)
911 is a joke (Public Enemy)

― Lester Newshound, Friday, 4 February 2005 14:31 (nineteen years ago) link

Have not forgotten "Everybody Ming Mang tonight" by Mang Mong

― The ghost of nigel's coffee table, Friday, 4 February 2005 16:13 (nineteen years ago) link

BIG excitement at the press conference at the hospital when Geordie Mick appeared wearng a kaftan made from colostomy bags which he had borrowed from the medical supplies cupboard. It turns out that the promise of track titles from his new album was a smokescreen for "the small minded critics and non-believers".

"The Mickster" looked well, and now that the trademark Harrison pudding basin haircut has grown out, he has had a scouser perm with blond highlights which set off his red eyes nicely. He glossed over Tuesdays gig incident, saying it was a deliberate act of theatre, akin to Jim Morrison or David Icke.

He announced that he was holding the press conference to announce that there would be another press conference next week when he was out of hospital. Dave Davies from the Leicester Mercury shouted out that this was an old situationist trick from the 1760s. All subsequent questions from the press were greeted with "no comment" and Geordie Mick returned to the ward to have a nasty boil lanced by Nurse Betty.

― Harold Giblets, Friday, 4 February 2005 18:41 (nineteen years ago) link

I have news of another Ming Mang Mong tune set to the beat of the backing music to a casio 'soccer lcd game' from 1984. Once again kesh (Mongreilf) has provided the lyrics, with the battered old speak and spell game providing Vox fx.

It's called, 'Like rubbing crab juice on Reg Varney (Is there order among imaginery numbers?)' by Ming Mang Mong (projected title) home demo: 5th Feb 2005.

"Not sure about this.
How do you prove the premises of any mathematics are true?
I've not studied Frege Russel et al and work from axioms taken as read.
Remember Euclid's parralel axiom?
Surely the ARGUMENT is sound if the logic is sound, but the CONCLUSION
is sound only if both logic and premises are sound. Mongreilf likes numbers. (repeat to fade)."

― Creamy googlised underpants, Monday, 7 February 2005 13:36 (nineteen years ago) link

Scenes from the Geordie Mick Press Conference t'other day

http://www.revivall.com/www/pics/pcc/fellwshp1.jpg

― Completely Bakered, Monday, 7 February 2005 13:58 (nineteen years ago) link

two weeks pass...

OMG! I'm listening to ghosts of dead aeroplanes RIGHT NOW!

― scott seward (scott seward), Tuesday, 22 February 2005 01:20 (nineteen years ago) link

Latest from Leicesterchestershire. Geordie Mick has discharged himself against the advice of the medical proffesion and hopped it to London. His attempt to break into broadcasting house and interrupt the transmission of Stuart Maconie's "The Critical List" was thwarted by his having lost completely lost all track of time. Those listened to this week's Radio 2 broadcast by Humphrey Littleton may have noticed the usual trad and non-threatening modern jazz replaced by "bleeping and stuff about numbers", as Humph later described it. Something of an epiphany may have occurred however, as the next day Mick was seen looking at the trumpets in Sheehans while humming little be-bop ditties to himself. Are we entering a new Jazz Age? Well are we?

― Dale Olivier, Tuesday, 22 February 2005 11:39 (nineteen years ago) link

Poor Geordie Mick got confused at the GO! Team gig last week. On the bit when the singer gurl got the girls to shout "Go!", and the guys to shout "Team", Mick tried joining in but kept shouting out either "Ming!" "Mang!" or "Mong!" by mistake during the bits where the audience were meant to participate.

It doesn't matter tho' because Ferraro Roche want to use "Theme from Ming Mang Mong" as the backing music to one of their adverts, horrraaahh!

― Tudor Road, Tuesday, 22 February 2005 12:05 (nineteen years ago) link

Ming Mang Mong have been asked to oversee the soundtrack of a goth soft porn vid starring Sadie Cakes. After Kevin Shields' success with "Lost in Translation" the two Harrisons are said to be considering the offer with a serious amount of seriousness. Ms Cakes opined that their bleeping-beeping stuff was just the sort of retro/futuristic take on cheesy organ music that got her motor running.

― Torquil Trismegistus, Friday, 25 February 2005 10:49 (nineteen years ago) link

Trouble in the Ming Mang Mong camp. Mongreilf was blanked by the Geordie one in a pub recently, probably due to the groups lyrical change of direction from "stuff about numbers" to "made up stuff about Mick". "I really didn't think he'd mind, or indeed care" said Mongreilf before hinting that the band may be covering the Rex Harrison number from My Fair Lady "Why can't a woman be more like a man?", but calling it instead "Why can't a woman be more like a piano playing spaniel?"

― I'm a good girl, I am!, Tuesday, 1 March 2005 11:14 (nineteen years ago) link

The Haggis Collective have a new line up: the entire population of Lanarkshire! Their new single's video "Come on everyone, lets play sneaky-snorkels" features a mass trespass by the band's 621,067 members into a garden in Lesmahagow. The annoyed resident is seen shaking his fist at the snorkel-parka'd multitude before being reminded that he too is a member of the Haggis Collective. At this wonderful news he dons his own parka and joins the throng, dancing the night away to the Collective's groovy music.

― Alasdair Gray, Wednesday, 2 March 2005 16:14 (nineteen years ago) link

I am starting a Ming Mang Mong fanzine, and am currently researching a Ming Mang Mong "rock family tree". If anyone has any information about the other bands the members have been in I'd appreciate it. Obviously I know of Geordie Mick's bands Prolapse, Ears go fff!, Ping, How many means bake five and Vibrating Elephant, but are there any others ?

― Rachel Pringle, Friday, 11 March 2005 18:38 (nineteen years ago) link

I believe he's been involved with The Stale Jokes, Male Pattern Balding, Regret Syndrome, The Neverwasbeans and ABBA!

― ourwulliewallpaper, Friday, 11 March 2005 20:04 (nineteen years ago) link

For those of you missing Scottish Mick he can be seen in a video by The Council at WWW.Sorted-records.org.uk

― Fishman, Saturday, 12 March 2005 17:19 (nineteen years ago) link

Fanzine Info.
Geordie Mick was also in the following bands: The Benign Tremeloes, Anal Anus and Consumed All The Cheese. Recent excitement that a new project was afoot after he was seen carrying equipment into stay-free was dashed when it was revealed he was, infact, their new premises officer.
Mongreilf was famously sacked as Discordia's keyboard player for playing the high notes with his left hand crossed over his right. He also published several slim volumes of verse. The most well received, "An Introduction to Topological Spaces" was praised by The Literary Review for its "taught, caustic reflections on the banalities of analysis" while Poetry Today described it as "More of a maths textbook than poetry". Its most famous poem "The Heine-Borrel Theorem: The Unit Interval is Compact, Hurrah!" won the Golden Trumpet award in 1997. Though he doesn't like to admit it, in his youth he was also in This Picture, Esprit-de-Corps and See-Feel.

― Uli Schwabe, Tuesday, 15 March 2005 09:26 (nineteen years ago) link

Not forgetting kesh mongreilf's stint as a roadie for simon gallup's between Cure period band "Fool's Dance".

― wee joni ghostie, Tuesday, 15 March 2005 16:33 (nineteen years ago) link

Hot News! During an excavation under the old Magazine (ably led by Mr. Tony Throatwarbler-Bamboo) a cache of very rare video footage from the mid 90s was discovered! Highlights include Zach swigging some minature Tia Marias, not 1 but 2(!) Regs dancing in a field, and an interview with glamourpuss sexdwarf Jeremy "The Blanked" Hollyhobby. Rumours of the existence of footage from Milk Of The Stars' infamous month-long Droneathon show are however sadly untrue.

― not so able tasman, Tuesday, 15 March 2005 16:48 (nineteen years ago) link

More groupie than roadie, ghostie, but during their "Fools Can Dance" period. They later renamed themselves to avoid confusion with 4AD serious squad "Dead Can Dance". Suffice it to say they were awful.

― Kesh, Wednesday, 16 March 2005 11:42 (nineteen years ago) link

two weeks pass...

Legal News: "The Haggis Collective" have reverted to old name "The Haggis Collectors" after fear of legal action from "The McQuaid Collective." The former Tube Bar Records stars haven't been heard of for years, but the threat of Turk turning up at Haggis gigs and complaining and moaning and kvetching, let alone screaming, was enough to spur them into action.

― Tim Brook Tinker, Tuesday, 5 April 2005 08:49 (nineteen years ago) link

two weeks pass...

mad susan is that you from over the road? got any wine?if so pop round soon!!

― birmingham bully girl, Tuesday, 19 April 2005 18:56 (eighteen years ago) link

I cant belieeeeeve Amarillo has become popular, i've been ripped off again, it was all my idea cos i used to play it 10 times a night at Tube Bar. Whats next, "Tears"? "Im Backing Britain"?? "Leicester Fiesta"??? What a personal disaaaaaaaaaster!

― MC TURK, Tuesday, 19 April 2005 19:35 (eighteen years ago) link

Ming Mang Mong have been asked to add their crazy vibes to the "Last Evah Tube Bar". The idea is to have MMM as the backing band and then guest singers from the audience can have a song each. Olivia Tremor Control from the orange tree will be doing some tap dancing at the side of the stage, Little Binz will be blowing bubbles for effects, and John Hogg is writing a song that he wants to perform at the event entitled "All My Illusions have been shattered". Its a 14 minute lament and involves a 3 minute 'cigar solo" from the Hogg man, where he will spell his own name in the form or smoke rings, in a solomon burke stylee, before diving head first into a bucket of red hair dye.

Personally, I cant wait!

― Sidney Car Crash, Thursday, 21 April 2005 12:45 (eighteen years ago) link

is this really the last tube bar evah???

leicester fiesta would indeed be good.

― andy black, Friday, 22 April 2005 11:14 (eighteen years ago) link

Sidney, I keep getting the "credit" for your posts. Ming Mang Mong may never talk to me again.

Personally, I prefered the last ever tube bar before last to the last one. I didn't have to endure both Basin's AND PJ's awful, awful records.

A hungover Sunday saw a Tony Christie special on Ed "Stew-pot" Stewart's radio show, plus Jarvis Cocker's 70s TV-theme and lounge-nonsense Desert Island Disks. It was like Turk had taken over the world.

― Tim Brook Tinker, Monday, 25 April 2005 10:35 (eighteen years ago) link

Turk has persuaded Leicester's very own Stephen Pastel librarian rock god "Stevie Twee" to take a break from trying to steal Vincent Gallo's hat and form yet another Prolapse tribute band, this time performing jangly versions of old Prolapse tunes. The band (called Stevie Twee and the Sad Hedgehogs) will be supported by none other than Scottish Mick, taking a break from digging his holes in Norway for a brief tour. Since hearing of Yoko Ono's crap set at ATP, the scottish one has gone 'all performance art' and will be jumping up and down on an old coffee table whilst perfoming "The sun has got his hat on" on a brazilian noseflute.

Its art, kids.

― Ronald Fence, Thursday, 28 April 2005 14:33 (eighteen years ago) link

Right, I've read all the posts above and I'm still confused. So, are they classic or dud ?

― Richard Spangledong, Thursday, 28 April 2005 15:40 (eighteen years ago) link

There's a rather touching poem about Ming Mang Mong at :

http://www.quantumenterprises.co.uk/rebecca/literature.htm

― Edna Spank, Thursday, 28 April 2005 16:06 (eighteen years ago) link

Blatant Plagiarism. I'd sue the author, but she's only 7.

On the Ning Nang Nong Where the cows go Bong!
And the monkeys all say Boo!
There's a Nong Nang Ning
Where the trees go Ping
And the tea pots Jibber Jabber Joo.

etc.

Is Turk still playing Harry Secombe? Aaagh...

― Spike Milligan, Friday, 29 April 2005 08:34 (eighteen years ago) link

Scottish Mick - Classic
Linda - Classic
Geordie Mick - Dud
Pat - Classicity beyond Classicism
Tim Apple Face - Classic
The Other Ones - Unk-Known

― Birmingham Bully Girl's Best Friend's Quiet Boyfriend, Friday, 29 April 2005 08:41 (eighteen years ago) link

It's sounds like it was written by Stump!

THE MING MANG MONG

On the Ming Mang Mong
Where the cats go and sing a song
And dogs all say what's wrong

There's a Mong Mang Ming
Robins can sing
Mang Ming Mong
Cows go bong.

Ming Mong Mang
Mice go clang

What a noisy place to belong to

It's the Ming Mang Mong!

― fizzy teef, Tuesday, 3 May 2005 11:34 (eighteen years ago) link

I must believe.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 3 May 2005 12:10 (eighteen years ago) link

Some measure of fame:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prolapse_%28band%29#External_links

― mongreilf, Monday, 9 May 2005 11:21 (eighteen years ago) link

Ming Mang Mong make wikipedia! whoopie!

― A Happy Pube, Tuesday, 10 May 2005 08:05 (eighteen years ago) link

Had to happen eventually, like TURK, their time will come...

― Charlie Mingus Mangus Mongus, Tuesday, 10 May 2005 09:49 (eighteen years ago) link

I've just bought one of those new limited edition musical "Alco-Furbies". I'm thinking of formimg a Ming Mang Mong tribute band of Furbies if anyone else would like to join me in this exciting new venture?

As it was my idea, my new emoto-tronic friend will of course take the role of Furby-Mick within the band.

― Pilchard Vostock, Wednesday, 11 May 2005 13:20 (eighteen years ago) link

I have it on regal authority that Ming Mang Mong have signed a THREE figure deal with TuftyClub records. The deal involves free bags of lichen to be given to the band members at all future gigs and when there is a full moon. It remains unconfirmed what Kesh Mongreilf's position in the band now is, although several rumours abound that the two harrisions may lead a 'double pronged bass attack' at the next WOLF PARTY at the Shaekespeares head. Lets hope its doesn't end up sounding like Ned's Atominc Dustbin, fer gawds sake.

― Herbert Sherbert, Wednesday, 11 May 2005 14:52 (eighteen years ago) link

Hey now, Ned's at least had the courtesy to name themselves after me (oh they claim it was the Goon Show but I know).

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 11 May 2005 14:53 (eighteen years ago) link

I've been sacked Herbert, like I always bloody well am.

― Kesh Mongreilf, Friday, 13 May 2005 06:36 (eighteen years ago) link

awww, nevermind Kesh. how about joining my band, "I Was Brought Up In A Hippy LoveCult"? we're playing a gig at the Shed, and Dave Davies might come along ... think of the fame and fortune!

― The Walking Looking Up Man, Friday, 13 May 2005 06:46 (eighteen years ago) link

Can I sing about maths?

― The Walking Looking Up Man's Pornography Collection as witnessed by Wendy Flynn, Friday, 13 May 2005 12:55 (eighteen years ago) link

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