Solved: Why White Ppl are Assholes

is two out of three OK? (having a Puerto Rican grandfather doesn't quite count as "African" even if we really stretch our definitions)

Once when Chris Rock played the Orpheum Theater the first thing he said after he went onstage was "So what the fuck is with all the black men with white girlfriends here, anyway?" former Village Voice writer Lisa Jones's term for the city was "the jungle fever capital of the world." you can sort of take it from there.

I attempted to date a girl from... shit, where was she from? I want to say she went to St. Paul Central, but now I don't remember. Anyway, I wanted to date her, but 30 miles + me not owning a car = no chance in hell. There was another girl who was mixed whom I attempted to be friends with who thought we were dating; that was a BAD situation (partially because she was crazy).

Here goes...get ready, it's a doozy...

They're human beings. All human beings are assholes.

Thank you, and have a pleasant afternoon/morning/night/whatever the fuck is going down in your neck of the Earth.

1. Black men who prefer white women often say it is because they are less troublesome and difficult than black women, and that they will have anal sex. (I am not making any of this up!)

2. Black women are very offended by this attitude.

3. Despite the above, and including the very men who only date white women, black men give black women a hard time if they date white men at all. (The white men can feel the hatred towards them too, but it rarely goes farther than glares and sneers.)

4. Some black people see it as a status thing. This can work in either direction, rather oddly.

5. Black women say that the white partners of black men are not up to standard, that gorgeous black men go out with unattractive white women. Vice versa for what black men say of black women with white men, of course. (Actually I agree with both about this, generally.)

6. Many serious-minded black women feel that trying to convey both the prejudice they feel as women and that as black people in a white society to white male partners is just too much trouble, and at least black men are likely to get half of it.

7. There is still much suspicion and caution among many black people as to why these white people want them sexually. This is true in different ways of black men and women. Most are not interested in being wanted as a black man/woman but as an individual.

It's a shame that all of this stuff complicates things. I was interested in this woman because of things that had nothing much to do with race at all, and she was interested in me despite the drawbacks about dating a white man. I had to pass a lot of tests of my understanding on this (and feminist tests too).

maybe, i think thats what smee and lara find attractive - but it was only an aesthetic difference and not a cultural one right?

so some people are attracted to people different to them culturally as well as visually, but for others its just the visual thing

because they throw around terms like pseudo-chink?

this thread is very weird.

In fact the woman was of mixed race - white British dad, black Jamaican mum. She had lived for some years in England, then over to Jamaica for many years, then back to England. She considered herself black and described herself as black rather than mixed race or anything like that. I think being comparatively light skinned in Jamaica and seen as black in Britain gave her an unusual insight into some of these issues. (She has written about some of these issues too, in The Guardian among other places.)

WTF? lame.

Why didn't he just leave it there?

Unfortunately, he was also very messed-up (in the head) and depessive and got into dealing cheap drugs :(

Odd. In James Baldwin's Another Country, the main female black character accuses *white* women of being prude-ish in bed. I know that that's USA and Martin lives in the UK, so it's different situations (and different time periods as well of course!), but I still find that strange...

I'm scared to look back at the Asian Women thread to see if I expressed myself well at all, but I imagine my main point was something like this: most people prefer to be perceived, romantically speaking, as individuals, not as members of an ethnic group. It's a great thing for people to be interested in different types of people, different bodies and often different backgrounds -- but when it starts to look like someone is fixating on ethnicity and to the point of forgetting about individual identity, it gets really offputting and shady, sometimes even pretty demeaning.

There's a segment of young white girls in the U.S. who fetishize black men. The reasons some of them do it can be awfully insulting: they have a lot of stereotyped images of black men in their heads, often because they grew up watching rap videos in towns with no actual black people; their interest in black men tends to be largely sexual or "fun," but they'd never imagine really relating to or marrying a black person; many of them get off on the idea of themselves with black men because they think of it as dirty. Obviously this is just a "segment," and a small and not necessarily well-defined one. But it's stuff like that that can make you suspicious about any given person who claims to be actively interested in a particular racial group.

I do want to note that I wasn't saying that whole fetishizing thing constitutes some major race-relations problem in and of itself! It's often symptomatic of more serious underlying stereotypes, yeah, but as a thing itself it's mostly just patronizing and annoying.

Never mind.

no doubt it pisses off a lot of white male bigots tho...oh well...(i really wish i could make that 'oh well' read like the 'oh well' SOUNDS in Dizzy Rascal's 'I Love U' btw)

But I don't want to set up a double standard here: there are just as many bad reasons for minority groups to chase after the majority -- status and self-loathing are two not-uncommon ones. I'll admit that I'm slightly less bothered by the idea of someone sitting in the center of an ethnic majority being attracted to it, and this might be unfair or hypocritical of me -- I'll have to think about it. But then I understand the Otherness attraction in either direction -- majority/minority or vice versa -- and I don't think it's some great blameworthy moral wrong: I just think that often involves seeing people as things they're not, in ways that are likely to be hurtful or offputting to them.

(The funny thing is that when white people do this misperceiving to black people, black people largely just get annoyed; when black people do it to white people, white people sometimes don't even notice and just assume that wow, black people must lead really different lives from us!)

It was confessional, yet dishonest. Jane pretends to be horrified by the sexuality that she in fact fetishizes. She subsumes herself to the myth of black male potency, but then doesn't follow through. She thinks she 'respects Afro-Americans,' she thinks they're cool and exotic, what a notch he'd make in her belt. But, of course, it all comes down to mandingo cliché, and he calls her on it. In classic racist tradition she demonizes, then runs for cover. But then, how could she behave otherwise? She's just a spoiled suburban white girl with a Benneton rainbow complex. It's just my opinion, and what do I know?

Beaver Harris is dead, so no mo' Blue Humans.

Live in london 1994 with an extra drummer and also clear to higher time. charles gayle does play drums.

also there's a blue humans with rashied ali on drums and sauter on sax. The main live track is v fine.

but the very best blue humans ('Incadescence' on shock and 'Live NY 1980') has beaver harris on drums.

dope thread

So, if I was the white woman in an interracial relationship, that means I'm unattractive? THANKS A LOT, ILX, I THOUGHT YOU WERE MY FRIENDS!!!!

Dueds I am probably going to sound like a weirfo/naïf/backwoods jackass here (classic intro, I know), but here goes me:

I had a hell of racist dad (and still do, haha); grew up in a pop 480 town in rural Idaho. I remember being in elementary school/middle school (mid-'90s) and the fruit stand STILL advertised with a big plywood cutout of a red-lipped black woman with bowed pigtails biting into a slice of watermelon. Mormon, too, not exactly 'diversity-friendly' area/culture. Which is terrible, of course, and I'd seen enough Sesame Street and Reading Rainbow to know this was bad & wrong. But being a six, seven-year-old kid, I still felt I had to "respect" my dad. Not so later on---junior high on it was O NO FITE O NO every time my dad even mentioned black people (never kindly of course). My mom put a moratorium on even telling my dad he was racist because she was tired of fighting at dinner every night.

SO at any rate, I knew it was bullshit and although he was that way, that didn't mean I was. HOWEVER, I couldn't help but be paranoid just passing black people on the street: not because I was afraid of them by any means, but I thought they'd be able to sense a "member of racist family" aura or vibe, or smell it or something.* So I'd of course probably act all weird like a thirteen-year-old shoplifting for the first time or something. I was friends with all the (three, haha) black kids at my high school, I got along with everyone on a personal level. I was just worried strangers could sense this! I saw an episode of Seinfeld where Elaine says she's figured out just how long to look at strangers to not make them feel ignored or stared at. holy fuck that's what I'm doing, I thought.

Well, later on, I realized that no one could "sense" things on me like that but I still feel like I have to "prove," somehow, when I am walking by a black dude on campus that I'm not a dick and I don't hate them, like my dad. I'm just fine with people individually. I just realized yesterday I still this and I feel foolish about it.

*NB I wasn't born with a sense of smell, so I'm not ascribing Super Smell Power to anyone; I just never knew what was smellable. ie I thought my parents might be able to smell it when I lost my virginity and the game would be given away.

sesame street was pretty damn great at the whole "everyone of every colour is cool and shit" thing, but it got me in a shitload of trouble when i was about 4... there'd been an episode about japanese people, and that same day we walked past this asian dude and i yelled out at the top of my lungs "LOOK MUM IT'S A JAPANESE PERSON!!!"

asian dude got very angry; he yelled back that he was "KOREAN, NOT JAPANESE!!" and looked like he was ready to throttle me.

Sesame St oughta hip the kids to the fact that azians all hate each other

remember when Hank Hill and Khan bonded over their mutual dislike of Russians

honestly Abbott I think that's a pretty normal experience, feeling feverishly committed to not being one of your parents in a dimension in which they are particularly offensive. I think you're being kind of hard on yourself about it.

also this:

I wasn't born with a sense of smell, so I'm not ascribing Super Smell Power to anyone; I just never knew what was smellable. ie I thought my parents might be able to smell it when I lost my virginity and the game would be given away.

is amazing!

and the aside from the opening post (not in a P Larkin way, altho that too, have sex w/ me & I'll tell you all about it) is the best aside ever.