Kerrang covering metal again? it's their top 50 heaviest albums ever list. How Many Do You Own?

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a few mershmetal things spoiling a p awesome list

Youth Ya Goon (Whiney G. Weingarten), Wednesday, 9 November 2011 23:11 (twelve years ago) link

Aren't there any rich metal-heads who can buy Kerrang! and make it a decent magazine? I mean its been a joke for 20 years or more...

Great Fushigi Master (Viceroy), Wednesday, 9 November 2011 23:12 (twelve years ago) link

Oh and I'd have to say about 3 or 4 of those 13 I own I don't consider to be metal or hard/heavy like at all... but I like them.

Great Fushigi Master (Viceroy), Wednesday, 9 November 2011 23:13 (twelve years ago) link

Where oh where are Cromagnon on this list?

emil.y, Wednesday, 9 November 2011 23:13 (twelve years ago) link

I have 29 of them. the ones I don't own either suck or slipped by my radar

Neanderthal, Wednesday, 9 November 2011 23:13 (twelve years ago) link

smh at Slipknot at #4

Neanderthal, Wednesday, 9 November 2011 23:14 (twelve years ago) link

plz explain how the white album makes the list, preferably with an answer in the form of a .gif

GOIT BUZZ TOYS (a hoy hoy), Wednesday, 9 November 2011 23:15 (twelve years ago) link

that slipknit album is gr8 fuiud

Youth Ya Goon (Whiney G. Weingarten), Wednesday, 9 November 2011 23:16 (twelve years ago) link

heard this for the first time recently, really blew me away...safe to say slayer were considerable fans, i'd imagine:

20 Discharge - Hear nothing see nothing say nothing

the 500 gats of bartholomew thuggins (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Wednesday, 9 November 2011 23:16 (twelve years ago) link

slipknot more like tb;dl

Neanderthal, Wednesday, 9 November 2011 23:16 (twelve years ago) link

yes that Discharge is fuckign fantastic

Neanderthal, Wednesday, 9 November 2011 23:17 (twelve years ago) link

i'd say Rudimentary Peni must have also been fans

Neanderthal, Wednesday, 9 November 2011 23:17 (twelve years ago) link

plz explain how the white album makes the list, preferably with an answer in the form of a .gif

― GOIT BUZZ TOYS (a hoy hoy), Wednesday, November 9, 2011 6:15 PM (35 seconds ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20081109074648/uncyclopedia/images/9/9b/Charles_manson_expressions_3129.gif

Youth Ya Goon (Whiney G. Weingarten), Wednesday, 9 November 2011 23:18 (twelve years ago) link

also that Mayhem album is one of my favorite black metal albums of all time but it isn't really 'heavy' so much as atmospheric, like...most black metal.

and what the fuck is The Prodigy doing on here...

Neanderthal, Wednesday, 9 November 2011 23:18 (twelve years ago) link

that album is p heavy, but feel free to be a snob abt it

Youth Ya Goon (Whiney G. Weingarten), Wednesday, 9 November 2011 23:18 (twelve years ago) link

a folk artist is why its metal?

voted 5-9, not sure any of them are metal records tho.

GOIT BUZZ TOYS (a hoy hoy), Wednesday, 9 November 2011 23:19 (twelve years ago) link

you know what's also funny about this list? no modern death metal. plenty of old school late 80s-early 90s thrash-influenced death metal, but like nothing by oh, say....SUFFOCATION type bands.

Neanderthal, Wednesday, 9 November 2011 23:19 (twelve years ago) link

Whiney methinks you and I define 'heavy' differently

Neanderthal, Wednesday, 9 November 2011 23:20 (twelve years ago) link

that Botch album is pretty awesome tho. and Jane Doe goes without saying, ranked a little too high but whatev

Neanderthal, Wednesday, 9 November 2011 23:21 (twelve years ago) link

you dont own/like 10 anyway shakey

my 10:
49 The Beatles - White Album
47 The Jimi Hendrix Experience - Electric Ladyland
39 Nirvana - Bleach
34 Megadeth - Rust In Peace
25 Electric Wizard - Dopethrone
17 Sleep - Dopesmoker
14 Metallica - Master Of Puppets
07 Black Flag - Damaged
02 Black Sabbath - Master Of Reality
01 Slayer - Reign In Blood

The Uncanny Frankie Valley (Shakey Mo Collier), Wednesday, 9 November 2011 23:22 (twelve years ago) link

a folk artist is why its metal?

LOL yes, I often refer to Charles Manson as "a folk artist."

Great Fushigi Master (Viceroy), Wednesday, 9 November 2011 23:24 (twelve years ago) link

that brutal Truth is underrated too. saw them last year, put on a helluva show. but Need to Control should be on the list in its place, or Extreme Conditions Deserve Extreme REsponses. Animal Kingdom is more noisy than heavy (which is a lot of its appeal).

Neanderthal, Wednesday, 9 November 2011 23:26 (twelve years ago) link

meh- how it invokes feelings in murder means that this list should have a bunch of hiphop and that record where the lead singer shot his own face off while his band killed each other and burnt down churches. instead, a record that had ringo starr jams makes it.

GOIT BUZZ TOYS (a hoy hoy), Wednesday, 9 November 2011 23:29 (twelve years ago) link

helter skelter, sam

(Algerian Goalkeeper) Vs (Armand Schaubroeck Ratfucker), Wednesday, 9 November 2011 23:30 (twelve years ago) link

i guess mastodon never struck me as "top 5 of all time" heavy

the 500 gats of bartholomew thuggins (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Wednesday, 9 November 2011 23:30 (twelve years ago) link

it's almost as if things that aren;t metal can be heavy too

Youth Ya Goon (Whiney G. Weingarten), Wednesday, 9 November 2011 23:30 (twelve years ago) link

also 'heaviest' is a way different list to 'did it encourage someone to do crime and be crazy'

but yo it means that martha my dear made it.

GOIT BUZZ TOYS (a hoy hoy), Wednesday, 9 November 2011 23:31 (twelve years ago) link

m@tt i agree, I love Mastodon's first three albums but they're too way hella high

Neanderthal, Wednesday, 9 November 2011 23:31 (twelve years ago) link

It has indirectly cause ritualized satanic murder, gangland murders don't count. OBVIOUSLY!

Great Fushigi Master (Viceroy), Wednesday, 9 November 2011 23:32 (twelve years ago) link

^ xxxp

Great Fushigi Master (Viceroy), Wednesday, 9 November 2011 23:32 (twelve years ago) link

Revolution No. 9 is p fucking heavy too

Youth Ya Goon (Whiney G. Weingarten), Wednesday, 9 November 2011 23:32 (twelve years ago) link

hell Mozart's Requiem should be on this list

Neanderthal, Wednesday, 9 November 2011 23:32 (twelve years ago) link

And Elend's "The Umbersum"

Neanderthal, Wednesday, 9 November 2011 23:32 (twelve years ago) link

Carcass's Reek shoulda been top ten imo

Neanderthal, Wednesday, 9 November 2011 23:34 (twelve years ago) link

Carcass's Reek shoulda been top ten imo

― Neanderthalp

qft

Great Fushigi Master (Viceroy), Wednesday, 9 November 2011 23:39 (twelve years ago) link

don't know where that p came from though.

Great Fushigi Master (Viceroy), Wednesday, 9 November 2011 23:39 (twelve years ago) link

Cryptopsy's None So Vile too

Neanderthal, Wednesday, 9 November 2011 23:40 (twelve years ago) link

well i dont suppose kerrang is aimed at you (or any of us)

(Algerian Goalkeeper) Vs (Armand Schaubroeck Ratfucker), Thursday, 10 November 2011 00:00 (twelve years ago) link

oh i know.....just enjoying listing some of my fav heavies that i haven't played in ages

Neanderthal, Thursday, 10 November 2011 00:05 (twelve years ago) link

Lame Satyricon pick.

Fig On A Plate Cart (Alex in SF), Thursday, 10 November 2011 00:08 (twelve years ago) link

Also no Melvins is (o_O)

Fig On A Plate Cart (Alex in SF), Thursday, 10 November 2011 00:08 (twelve years ago) link

It's a good list, if a bit random on what heaviness actually means. But over half of it is as heavy as balls. The trouble with listing all the heaviest albums ever is it just ends up being a list of Warhorse, Eyehategod, Gojira, Winter, UFOmammut, Anaal Nathrakh etc, and it gets a bit tedious. Anyway, \m/ Dopethrone, 31 - 39 and I own two copies of Iowa.

Conan The Asshander (Doran), Thursday, 10 November 2011 00:18 (twelve years ago) link

i own 8

49 The Beatles - White Album
47 The Jimi Hendrix Experience - Electric Ladyland
46 Judas Priest - British Steel
44 Alice in Chains - Dirt
30 NIN - The Downwards Spiral
14 Metallica - Master Of Puppets
07 Black Flag - Damaged
2 Black Sabbath - Master Of Reality

chief rocker frankie crocker (m coleman), Thursday, 10 November 2011 00:20 (twelve years ago) link

Two.

Bet you can guess which.

Mark G, Thursday, 10 November 2011 00:26 (twelve years ago) link

doran didn't you do a heaviest metal albums list for nme once?

(Algerian Goalkeeper) Vs (Armand Schaubroeck Ratfucker), Thursday, 10 November 2011 00:27 (twelve years ago) link

Own 21, to my own surprise. Like all of them, too.

'Fat Of The Land' can go fuck itself imho. I'm mostly surprised at Mogwai's ep included here (which does rule, but still, v surprising)

Y Kant Lou Reed (Le Bateau Ivre), Thursday, 10 November 2011 00:37 (twelve years ago) link

Yeah, and it was a lot heavier than that and everyone just complained about the amount of doom and death metal I chose but that's what I perceive to be heavy. This kind of list is actually be ok, probably better than mine if you had the reasoning in a paragraph next to each one. In a way the heaviosity achieved by unsuspecting Beatles fans by The White Album back in the day must have been pretty immense.

Conan The Asshander (Doran), Thursday, 10 November 2011 00:37 (twelve years ago) link

Sorry I'm really tired and can't type properly any more.

Conan The Asshander (Doran), Thursday, 10 November 2011 00:38 (twelve years ago) link

i think 29 of these? i cant remember if i actually own a couple, so i comfortably voted in the 20-29 bracket

cannonball aderall (jjjusten), Thursday, 10 November 2011 00:52 (twelve years ago) link

I own these four:
49 The Beatles - White Album
47 The Jimi Hendrix Experience - Electric Ladyland
37 Gojira - From Mars To Sirius
06 Mastodon - Leviathan

o. nate, Friday, 11 November 2011 20:32 (twelve years ago) link

35.

strongo hulkington's ghost dad, Friday, 11 November 2011 20:38 (twelve years ago) link

I own:

50 Mayhem - De Mysteriis Dom Sathanas
49 The Beatles - White Album
48 Cathedral - Forest Of Equilibrium
47 The Jimi Hendrix Experience - Electric Ladyland
46 Judas Priest - British Steel
44 Alice in Chains - Dirt
42 The Prodigy - Fat Of The Land
40 Lamb Of God - Ashes Of The Wake
39 Nirvana - Bleach
38 Sepultura - Chaos AD
37 Gojira - From Mars To Sirius
36 Mogwai - My Father My King
34 Megadeth - Rust In Peace
30 NIN - The Downwards Spiral
29 Korn - Korn
27 Emperor - In The Nightside Eclipse
26 Death - Scream Bloody Gore
25 Electric Wizard - Dopethrone
17 Sleep - Dopesmoker
16 Sunn 0))) - Black One
14 Metallica - Master Of Puppets
10 The Dillinger Escape Plan - Calculating Infinity
08 Refused - The Shape Of Punk To Come
07 Black Flag - Damaged
06 Mastodon - Leviathan
05 At The Gates - Slaughter Of The Soul
04 Slipknot - Iowa
03 Converge - Jane Doe
02 Black Sabbath - Master Of Reality
01 Slayer - Reign In Blood

But seriously, fuck these guys for putting Bring Me the Horizon on this list.

jon /via/ chi 2.0, Friday, 11 November 2011 20:56 (twelve years ago) link

Is British Steel really heavy?

This list could have been much better. The self imposed limitation of only one album per artist really was a mistake. Also, I'm not sure what planet you are living on when you say that fucking Korn s/t is heavy. Also, I like Mastodon, but if you were going to put a truly heavy band currently going I think High on Fire would be a better pick.

― You're a notch, I'm a legend (Bill Magill), Thursday, November 10, 2011 2:53 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark

agreed, british steel is great, but it's really a great pop metal album...earlier stuff like sin after sin or stained class is much heavier...as is later stuff like painkiller

the 500 gats of bartholomew thuggins (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Friday, 11 November 2011 20:58 (twelve years ago) link

I like the idea of "heaviest" as not just a list of brutal DM/grindcore but more like "the heaviest at the time in a genre and/or a large part of society ever had heard" but still...no Bolt Thrower?

Siegbran, Friday, 11 November 2011 21:39 (twelve years ago) link

i wonder who actually compiled the kerrang list

(Algerian Goalkeeper) Vs (Armand Schaubroeck Ratfucker), Saturday, 12 November 2011 00:38 (twelve years ago) link

In honor of the Sabbath reunion, I listened to Master of Reality tonight over some beers and some other things. Not only is it the heaviest album of all time, it is also the best.

You're a notch, I'm a legend (Bill Magill), Saturday, 12 November 2011 04:19 (twelve years ago) link

I listened to Vol.4, Sabotage, Master of Reality, Heaven And Hell and Sabbath Bloody Sabbath yesterday. Sabotage won.

Conan The Asshander (Doran), Saturday, 12 November 2011 11:13 (twelve years ago) link

Really enjoyed your Sabbath rundown Doran
http://www.nme.com/blog/index.php?blog=10&p=11436&title=black_sabbath_rate_the_albums&more=1&c=1

Metal as a genre didn’t really get too big on the whole Satanism business until Venom broke ranks in the early 80s and said, ‘Way aye man, ye divnae wanna praise god ye wanna hail that gadge Satan.’

good luck in your pyramid (Neil S), Saturday, 12 November 2011 11:37 (twelve years ago) link

Cheers!

Conan The Asshander (Doran), Saturday, 12 November 2011 11:39 (twelve years ago) link

i have heard (but don't necessarily 'own') 5 of the not-really-metal albums.

some dude, Saturday, 12 November 2011 12:53 (twelve years ago) link

Awesome that American Nightmare is on there, although I don't have that record. Is the general thing to call them American Nightmare still or Give Up The Ghost? Has everybody managed to forget about the "original" American Nightmare yet?

kashi west: late vegetarian (rustic italian flatbread), Saturday, 12 November 2011 13:12 (twelve years ago) link

I have or have had maybe 14 of those.

Josh in Chicago, Saturday, 12 November 2011 13:35 (twelve years ago) link

I have owned 18 of these, but not all currently.

kashi west: late vegetarian (rustic italian flatbread), Saturday, 12 November 2011 13:58 (twelve years ago) link

dj mencap are you responsible?

nah I think they just threw it together in the office yesterday afternoon, p much just to get traffic on their Facebook page

same deal w/ the Korn album though, Loveless is the sort of thing that should be on there rather than the Tryptikon album which may well be great but isn't, as far as I can see, making anyone think differently about how to be 'heavy'

Buster Mottrhymes (DJ Mencap), Saturday, 12 November 2011 14:44 (twelve years ago) link

WFT. I ended up in the 5-9 category!

Hongroe (Geir Hongro), Saturday, 12 November 2011 18:59 (twelve years ago) link

WFT?

Lars and the Lulu Girl (NickB), Saturday, 12 November 2011 21:19 (twelve years ago) link

Where's the Fucking Tune?!

Conan The Asshander (Doran), Saturday, 12 November 2011 22:35 (twelve years ago) link

Would Fuck Tiger

no jesus, no piece (Neanderthal), Sunday, 13 November 2011 00:32 (twelve years ago) link

WTF. But I like Doran's proposal here :)

Hongroe (Geir Hongro), Sunday, 13 November 2011 10:14 (twelve years ago) link

WFT. I ended up in the 5-9 category!

― Hongroe (Geir Hongro), Saturday, November 12, 2011 1:59 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Beatles, Hendrix, Prodigy, Nirvana, & NIN?

Obama's metrosexual cool (crüt), Sunday, 13 November 2011 10:43 (twelve years ago) link

British Steel is full of the kind of tunes you can whistle in the shower. Even if that shower might be in prison.

Conan The Asshander (Doran), Sunday, 13 November 2011 10:53 (twelve years ago) link

Sex prison.

Conan The Asshander (Doran), Sunday, 13 November 2011 10:53 (twelve years ago) link

hahahahahaha

no jesus, no piece (Neanderthal), Sunday, 13 November 2011 13:54 (twelve years ago) link

Beatles, Hendrix, Prodigy, Nirvana, & NIN?

All of those, but also a bit of Metallica and Black Sabbath.

I even own a Mastodon CD I bought at a discount, but not that one.

Hongroe (Geir Hongro), Sunday, 13 November 2011 16:09 (twelve years ago) link

I counted 16.

Turrican, Sunday, 13 November 2011 16:12 (twelve years ago) link

I even own a Mastodon CD

― Hongroe (Geir Hongro), Sunday, November 13, 2011 11:09 AM Bookmark

http://pasquinadepress.files.wordpress.com/2010/05/exploding-head.jpg

no jesus, no piece (Neanderthal), Sunday, 13 November 2011 16:12 (twelve years ago) link

http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4034/4463970023_656bc3cf12.jpg

Siegbran, Sunday, 13 November 2011 16:49 (twelve years ago) link

I listened to Vol.4, Sabotage, Master of Reality, Heaven And Hell and Sabbath Bloody Sabbath yesterday. Sabotage won.

― Conan The Asshander (Doran), Saturday, November 12, 2011 6:13 AM (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Great article. My ranking-which changes all the time-1) master, 2) sabbath bloody sabbath, 3) vol. 4 4) never say die, 5) s/t , 6) sabotage, 7) paranoid,8) technical ecstasy

You're a notch, I'm a legend (Bill Magill), Sunday, 13 November 2011 22:21 (twelve years ago) link

24

shiroibasketshoes & tuxedos (Whiney G. Weingarten), Sunday, 13 November 2011 22:23 (twelve years ago) link

i def like Vol 4 more than Sabotage, which I've only heard recently and probably comes in 2nd

ban l0u1s r33d (Drugs A. Money), Monday, 14 November 2011 05:33 (twelve years ago) link

50 Mayhem - De Mysteriis Dom Sathanas
49 The Beatles - White Album
43 Deftones - Around The Fur
42 The Prodigy - Fat Of The Land
39 Nirvana - Bleach
29 Korn - Korn
28 Carcass - Reek Of Putrefaction
27 Emperor - In The Nightside Eclipse
23 Atari Teenage Riot - 60 Second Wipe Out
18 Meshuggah - Destroy Erase Improve
16 Sunn 0))) - Black One
14 Metallica - Master Of Puppets
09 Napalm Death - Scum
08 Refused - The Shape Of Punk To Come
07 Black Flag - Damaged
05 At The Gates - Slaughter Of The Soul
02 Black Sabbath - Master Of Reality
01 Slayer - Reign In Blood

^^ tho i really don't care about '60 second wipeout' and 'fat of the land' at all, nowadays. and i own 'jerusalem' which is almost the same as 'dopesmoker'...

rusty_allen, Monday, 14 November 2011 05:51 (twelve years ago) link

at first i thought that was geir listing the albums he owns

(Algerian Goalkeeper) Vs (Armand Schaubroeck Ratfucker), Monday, 14 November 2011 09:59 (twelve years ago) link

the lovely Four Freshman-esque harmonies of Reign in Blood

no jesus, no piece (Neanderthal), Monday, 14 November 2011 12:46 (twelve years ago) link

British Steel is full of the kind of tunes you can whistle in the shower. Even if that shower might be in prison.

I like "United" a lot. Don't own that album though.

Hongroe (Geir Hongro), Monday, 14 November 2011 14:34 (twelve years ago) link

Twenty-one but no Machine Gun, no cred.

Here he is with the classic "Poème Électronique." Good track (Marcello Carlin), Monday, 14 November 2011 14:37 (twelve years ago) link

I take it you don't mean Machine Gun by The Commodores Marcello.

Conan The Asshander (Doran), Monday, 14 November 2011 14:44 (twelve years ago) link

I'm waiting for the day Geir finally reveals after all these years that he is really Fenriz

no jesus, no piece (Neanderthal), Monday, 14 November 2011 14:54 (twelve years ago) link

I take it you don't mean "United" by Throbbing Gristle, Geir.

Mark G, Monday, 14 November 2011 15:41 (twelve years ago) link

Excellent.

Conan The Asshander (Doran), Monday, 14 November 2011 15:44 (twelve years ago) link

Can't think of many other Throbbing Gristle songs he'd like better

R. Stornoway (Tom D.), Monday, 14 November 2011 15:46 (twelve years ago) link

"United":Judas Priest::"Abracadabra":Steve Miller Band

no jesus, no piece (Neanderthal), Monday, 14 November 2011 16:00 (twelve years ago) link

machine gun was marcello's fave Warrant song iirc

(Algerian Goalkeeper) Vs (Armand Schaubroeck Ratfucker), Tuesday, 15 November 2011 03:14 (twelve years ago) link


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