Let Us Now Praise Dave Q

Actually, this isn't a real 'TS'. I know that when people lapse into sputtering profanity, they've given up their cred credibility and their cool vanishes in the face of their incomprehension, so it's not really going to make me look any less retarded than I already do, but curiosity is killing this cat so here goes: WHO THE FUCKETY-FUCKING FUCK BUYS THIS GODDAMNED FUCKING SHIT? WHO ARE THESE FUCKHEADS? HOW DID THIS SORT OF FUCKING SHIT GET TO EXIST? WHO THE FUCKETY-FUCKING FUCK IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS PIG VOMIT? HOW WAS IT ALLOWED TO HAPPEN THAT AFTER A CENTURY OF POPULAR AMERICAN MUSIC, YEARS OF FUSION AND UPHEAVAL AND CULTURE AND INEXPLICABLE ERUPTIONS AND EVERYTHING ENDED UP WITH THIS....THIS....FUCKETY-FUCKING SHIT! IS THERE A NAME FOR THIS KIND OF FUCKING SHIT? WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK POSSESSED THESE FUCKERS TO WRITE AND RECORD THIS WORTHLESS SHIT AND WORSE YET, WHAT MAKES STUPID FUCKING ASSHOLES BUY AND LISTEN? WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH AMERICANS ANYWAY? EVEN CREED HAS THE CHRISTER THING GOING ON AS THEIR LAME ATTEMPT AT HAVING AN IDENTITY, BUT THESE SHITHEADS HAVE NOTHING GOING FOR THEM WHATEVER! AND I BET THEIR FANS ARE THE SAME! WHY DON'T YOU KILL THEM? FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!

Seriously, I'm curious, what festering, maggot-ridden, loose rectal orifice did these severed tapeworm parts fall out of?
-- dave q (scrape10...), January 15th, 2002.

(For the remainder of this post I will replace the names 'Flipper' and 'Joy Division' with appropriate substitutes)

Band/fans thing solved definitively - who would you rather be stuck in an airline seat next to, somebody wearing a 'Charlie Tuna' friendly line-drawing t-shirt or the ubiquitous jagged-pancake-stack 'Comfort Women' one? (Either that or the Vatican postcard one?) Admit it, by now any sane person will run away from somebody wearing the 'Srebenica Serb Spunk Spitfire' top, even an MSP 'Teenage Revolutionary Glam Suicide' one is less embarassing. It's a mystery why there's so many more of the 'Doctor (Mengele) & the Medics' ones about though - 'Cetacean' invented 'emo' (which I don't care about except in the context of this sentence, i.e. 'it exists') and 'grunge' ("Life" ripped "Spirit of Radio" ten years before "Teen Spirit" did "More Than a Feeling" - important due to suggesting classic rock/underground crossover that was necessary for subsequent alteration of rock landscape i.e. people BUYING stuff that 'sounded underground' even if it was underground stuff that sounded classic and the commercial angle is crucial IMHO because isn't expanding your community enough so that it crosses over or overlaps the whole point of making music that isn't just onanism in the first place? And sadly for some idealists, commercial success [even by proxy] is still the only reliable indicator of this and Brits have a real problem with that because it involves talking about MONEY and that's a sore point as none of them HAVE any, so as a defense mechanism they prefer heroic [ha] failures like Nick Drake or Ian Curtis and use their supposed interestingness to prop up their own fatalism, the socialism of an apolitical age), whereas 'Nazi Sex Torturers' invented - Marion? 'Phlegmish'? (As in 'mucus', not that country that shelters terrorists and pedophiles) (OK there's been enough justified slating of Curtis' hilarious Kermit the Frog singing, so let's look elsewhere for 'Liebensraum''s musical features - hey, y'know those dopey bass players who say, 'They're like guitars but easier - less strings!' And then play like it IS a guitar, i.e. no rhythm whatever, just disconnected notes, like an especially slow and maladroit J Mascis solo, except an octave lower? 'SS Party Squad' made a 'sound' out of it! 'Little Mermaid' OTOH did the grinding thing AND the fast thing [Sequencing "Living for the Depression" next to "Sex Bomb", aside from being like if Coltrane out "Giant Steps" and "Ascension" out on the same album in 1959, presaged both 'hardcore'-via-'mathcore'-to-what hardcore became (i.e. 'space drone' etc.) but as in the 'emo' and 'grunge' things, they can't be blamed for those either if you don't like them but must be credited if you liked ANY of it! Heh] and if you like flawed, imperfect singing and playing (the 'Battery Cage Sex Slaves' fan's last line of defense) then 'Free Willy''s got out-of-tune Harry Partch guitarrs, cacophonous yelling and the least Neil Peart-like drumming since Kleenex but all this is actually mixed in with other stuff ("...Depression" is quite tight high-speed mathcore) and the incompetent bits are done far more energetically and (ahem) HOOK-y than the muffled, it's-COLD-in-here-let's-play-wearing-baseball-mitts stuff on 'Institutional Gang Rape''s records. Energetic maybe because 'Moby Dick' sang "Life is the only thing worth living for", and Curtis said it all with the first line of 'Unknown (ha) Pleasures (double ha)' - "I'M LOOKING FOR A GUIDE TO TAKE ME BY THE HAND" - I see, he wants his mommy. (Or his 'nanny state' - WHOAH! I didn't say that, I get in enough shit as it is, ignore that) Then again, this kind of babyishness isn't surprising for somebody who killed himself rather than face the consequences of abandoning his wife and child, but an artist's moral shortcomings aren't important, it's that he couldn't even transform his inadequacy into one decent line. ("Atrocity Exhibition" - wow, stealing titles from hip books and writing lyrics betraying no reading whatever of said book, that's so Iron Maiden. Actually I think "Loneliness of the Long Distance Runner" just unwittingly reiterates everything I've ever said about the British but here's not the time or place) And yes I know that 'Miami Mascot''s Will Shatter is a dead junkie, but between him and Curtis I know who would've given a more honest answer to this fabulous couplet question (courtesy of 'Legendary SF punk band named for TV dolphin') - "EVER THINK YOU'RE SMART/ AND THEN FIND OUT YOU'RE NOT?"
-- dave q (scrape10...), July 11th, 2002.

I really fuckin' resent my ancestors (not in a P Larkin way, altho that too, have sex w/ me & I'll tell you all about it). I mean picture the scene 70 skidillion yrs ago somewhere in Africa. "Hey we're moving." "Where to?" "Some GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING PLACE WHERE IT'S COLD ALL THE FUCKING TIME! It's great, see, you have to spend loads of money on extra clothes, going out is torture, even staying IN is torture because even though we'll be coming back periodically to raid oil it still won't be enough to keep our fuckin' skyrise jerry-built little hovels fuckin' warm because nothing will be insulated properly! Everybody will be depressed and coughing and frostbitten and just wanting to fuckin' hibernate but instead we'll get to go to work every fuckin' day for the privilege of not fuckin' freezing to death! Cool huh?" "Umm.." "Wait it gets better! Half of the heating budget will go to leaving the water heater on all night and even then come morning there'll only be enough hot water out of the tap to fill a motherfucking piss bottle so everybody will be walking around even more depressed and violent cuz they're unshaven and look and smell like shit all the time!"

Why the goddamn FUCK did these idiots populate this fucking wasteland? Is this any way to live? (OK I'm 1/4 Hungarian which makes me some kind of pseudo-chink or something ["Mongoloid, he was a mongoloid, unhappier than you & me!"] but what's everybody else's excuse? (Embracing-dark-side dept., maybe that's why I don't really 'get' the historically pacifist [heh] Brits mass-demo'ing 'we're sorry about that other shit we won't raid yr oil no more' [not to mention trying to convince the world for the last 50 yrs that you're really a bunch of conscience-stricken commies] - doesn't convince me - it is in your natures. Repeat after me, "We are assholes who want to kill everybody and steal their shit but don't worry we will get our just deserts, ie annihilation, and it was all our own fault for MOVING TO A GIANT MEAT LOCKER" feels good doesn't it but the craven cowering in the face of cosmic destruction doesn't SUIT you, although if somebody can figure out how to keep a cup of coffee HOT for the space of time it takes to drink the fucker then maybe the prospect of WW3 would aggravate me a bit more (World responds - "You NEED more coffee?" Uh, sorry...)
-- dave q (scrape10...), February 19th, 2003

Although, on days when I don't actually have to work, I quite enjoy the place for just wandering aimlessly, you find something new all the time. Every tube stop seems like a different country, which is good, you can escape without escaping. Also, I don't think I could ever live in a monocultural city ever again after living here, it would seem so arid and dull in comparison.

If ILE is to be remembered through the ages, it's most stunning achievement may be that it induced me to say something nice about London. What's happening to me...
-- dave q (scrape10...), August 31st, 2001.

"Two and a half minutes"? Christ, what am I, Superman on Viagra?
-- dave q (scrape10...), August 31st, 2001.

Russia - hundreds of years of perfecting every conceivable sort of human misery, and they're still coming up with new ones, which is some sort of achievement.
-- dave q (scrape10...), September 28th, 2001.

I love his sense of humour too.

I've got a CD by Kelly Chen and the only thing that isn't in Chinese is the release date (1999), it's the one with the poster in it. HK pop ROOLS! Maybe somebody could tell me more about this CD because I can't read Cantonese!

Defn. 'electrobutt' - the ultimate 80s working-class art form. Think Berlin ('Top Gun' period), Pat Benatar, Loverboy, Billy Squier (whose 'Emotions in Motion' is a lost classic for ANY era!) - buttrock for people who actually talked to GURLZ! Syndrums, VERY processed distortion buried in the mix, ballads with piano/synth/gtr lines in unison. This music owed quite alot to Prince (aforementioned buried-metal, the 'squiggly' kybds, electro-slap bass in place of plodding AOR bass), and in turn, was the source of the mesh-top/legwarmer thing that allowed Madonna to burst out of the NYC art-dance ghetto into the hearts of Middle America (from whence she [AND Prince] came) - "Burnin' Up" is a veritable homage to this most forgotten of forms - forgotten everywhere but MTV Asia it seems - I'll get to that in a minute - but first, if Madonna made the style OK, then it was transmuted into ART by...(drum roll)...

BILLY IDOL. The ultimate electro-cruising music with (crucially) cheeze-metal on top - everybody who was raving about crap like 'Graceland' and 'So' and 'Dream of the Blue Turtles' should've moved their Reeboks down to the 7-11 and stuck their ear in the Camaro with the GURLZ in the front seat, because if they heard 'Rebel Yell' they would've heard the most plasticky-beautiful glowing neon fake-genuine rockin' disco EVER! "Flesh for Fantasy", Jesus! And the next album, 'Whiplash Smile', has a six-minute symphony that's the "River Deep Mountain High"/"Stairway to Heaven"/WHATEVER-you-use-to-mean-apotheosis ("Don't Need A Gun") and other stuff that's equally good. But did anyone notice, besides the kids who were too smart for Maiden but still not dessicated/prematurely senile enough for Sting? NO! Because these crits were wetting themselves over the latest David Byrne or Sinead O'Connor atrocity, that's why! Fuck them!

Anyway, Kelly Chen! Here's the info and anyone who knows can tell me more! Track 1 is a Prince-like thing, where Kelly sounds like Sheena Easton. Track 4 is an absolutely swell soft-metal ballad, the only words in English being "You Don't Have to Say Goodbye", with those half-step time changes before the chorus like Erasure, and it's easily as good as if not better than "Take My Breath Away" (Berlin's and possibly Rex Smith's). Track 7 is the contempo one, it starts off with 10 seconds of drum'n'bass, then turns into this Hi-NRG thing that sounds really anguished about I know not what. It's got that mad effect where it pans from left to right with every syn-drum (yes, SYN-DRUM, not 'programmed', this ain't IDM!), like I haven't heard anyone do since some of the mixes of New Order's 'Round and Round'. Then it stops and does the d'n'b thing again. Track 11 MUST be heard. In the only other English text on the sleeve, it's called the "Kelly Mix" of Track 1, and it is weird. A half-assed Casio beat, synth horns, the vocal vaguely shoehorned into this rhythm, and a Devo-like mutant surf guitar louder than everything repeating the same lick all through the song. But all produced IMMACULATELY, which makes all the difference!

If ANYBODY can tell me more about this CD, Kelly, or HK pop, please do so! Even all the websites are in Cantonese. And if you want to discuss the genius of Billy Idol feel free to do that too!

Strangely enough I started writing a story where one of the characters is based on Dave Q, kind of. I don't really think I have captured the essence of Q yet, my writing is kind of disappointing.

If I had the time, I'd compile all his posts and print them out. ULTIMATE bathroom read. (I can't pay a higher compliment.)

dave is so right re. flipper and the crue it isnt even funny

Crystalmethcrystalmethcrystalmethcrystalmethmakesyouwritealotsoifyouwantotengagecreativeimpulsesmotorneuronsfiringsynapsefillserotoninfirste ssentialssunlightNO!WHY!Sunlightagainmarkcalendardaysoffthreeweekswrit eontoiletrollswriteonbutcherspaperwritewriteuntillimbiccorticalamygdal acerebrationretinalpersistencecrystalmethcrystalmethcrystalmeth!YEAH!
-- tarden (scrape10...), July 7th, 2001.

-- dave q, March 2nd, 2003

Have you ever been to Bristol, Dave?

1. They encourage people to use the word 'anal', but not in a 'good' way. Use of the word 'anal' contributes to blind acceptance of bogus Freudian mythology that ppl seem to think is more valid than astrology for some reason.
2. They usually lack annotation. Come on, I want to see ppl 'show their work' as yr math teacher used to say!
3. One always forgets the killer list addition until 20 minutes after they've done it, then gets anxious about having misrepresented themselves.
4. Following on from 3, heavy pot users seem to have more difficulty with this than most.
5. Umm, nothing! List away! (btw I hate threads that criticise thread ideas. No like, no read. Oh wait I just did, shit)
dave q (scrape10...), March 29th, 2003 9:55 AM

Mark - everyone knows about F Mac's encounter-group on wheels (fuck that, private jets),but their weird dynamics were already at high-tension levels way before the Buckingham/Nicks era - it was drugs and mental illness that featured in the Green/Spencer era, and perhaps a couple of Californian flower children were a cakewalk in comparison. I think a more interesting band to put to this kind of scrutiny would be Husker Du - I don't think the full story has ever come out. Also, do you think W. Marsalis imagines himself Completing the Arc of ALL OF JAZZ?

Tracer - there are quite a few examples from the 60s of attempts to forge new band models - think Jefferson Airplane, Grateful Dead (bohemian/preppie/academic/lowlife - later to contain both a married couple and a drummer who quit due to his manager/father embezzling from his own son's band),MC5, Sly & the Family Stone, etc. (In light of the 'Dictator' category, the prevalence of army brats (Buffalo Springfield, Doors)in the peace-n- love era is interesting. Steven Stills and Jim Morrison were both notorious for maintaining control through unpredictability, violence, and limitless capacities for mental and physical cruelty, and an Alpha Male sense of supremacy, qualities definitely not fashionable in the pre-Altamont daze - odd that their music remains among the most 'of its time' of these bands[I don't want to use the 'dated' epithet] - and like every bully, they both had weedy, introspective nerds as sidekicks/mascots. (Morrison always struck me as the school bully who would pants the classroom poet in front of all the girls when there were crowds around, but would corner the guy alone later with "I...um...wrote a song...it's about my feelings and stuff...". Stills, the jock who made your life a misery, until you see him 20 years later and he's a fat guy with a nowhere job and a wife who cheats on him and you have a beer with him, gloating inside at his endless complaints about the manager of the furniture retailer that employs him.)

Another 'power behind the throne' band? How about the Byrds?
-- tarden (scrape100@hotma....), June 16th, 2001.

I liked that Tom Hanks one
-- dave q (scrape10...), April 18th, 2003. (later)

Dunno, I'd be suspicious if a train conductor insisted I didn't need any baggage. Like, where are we going, Belsen?
-- dave q (scrape10...), July 24th, 2001.

Devo, for updating that N'awlins groove. (Don't believe me? Where d'ya think 'Working in a Coal Mine' came from?) For being the missing link between the Ventures and Slipknot. For being known as an electro- synth-whatevah noowave unit but still having an incredibly great drummer. For "Uncontrollable Urge", "Gut Feeling", "Smart Patrol", "Snowball", "Girl U Want", "Through Being Cool", "Beautiful World", "Speed Racer", "Peek-a-Boo", "Be Stiff", "Turnaround", and every cover version they ever did. For being a noisier, trashier, funnier and more American version of Roxy Music.

Kraftwerk = hippies. I can see them driving their VW van through Morocco, everything. Their beautiful tunes ("Radioactivity") were beautiful but they didn't have any kick-ass tunes and are thus responsible for trance music and all those besieged chrome-domes screaming about how there's still NOIZE assaulting their poor calibrated eardrums, get rid of it now, it's all the fault of the rockist conspiracy etc etc etc. Actually, fuck Kraftwerk and everybody who followed them. (I still like "Radioactivity" though, but I think somebody should do a really shitty version of it)

-- dave q (scrape10...), January 21st, 2002 8:00 PM.

PRIMAL SCREAM - Give Up But Don't Give Out *****

What's it called when you 'sample' stuff, except actually 'play' it? Let's invent a new word! 'Recordcollected'! By nature of what they 'recordcollect' here 'Give Up' is the crucible of TRUE FANS who may be admitted into the inner sanctum of the mystery of the PS constellation of reference points. By exposing it to the light and thus risking evaporation they instead justify their way of making records by making it seem like the LISTENER is a conundrum, ie if somebody doesn't 'like' them then that means they don't like their 'record collection'. But who but a really sad person would dislike somebody on that basis? That's the question PS are asking and they drop the first and last hint with the genius intro to "Jailbait" (y'know, the two drum intros), although burying the stellar "Struttin'" near the end is also a nice touch, if a bit cruel and malicious, but since when has that ever bothered me? A masterpiece.
-- dave q (scrape10...), July 16th, 2003.

'vocals should be louder' = 'i should stick to acoustic singer-songwriters'!! They are THE STROKES. See the 'S' on the end? Like it's a band, there's five of them and the voice in a band is another 'instrument'. The great thing about studios is you can mix them anyway you want! It's 'The Strokes', not 'Julian Casablancas Recites Poems in Tribute to Elliot Smith'!! I've spent so much time defending this record that I'm almost dreading actually hearing it, but these criticisms are just WEIRD! Like yer grandmother saying "b-b-but [asthmatic whine] I can't make out what he's s-s-saying!!!"
-- dave q (scrape10...), October 30th, 2003.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

See, they were 'tight' w/ the producer, so I assume they had some say in how it sounded. So to say 'I like the Strokes but not the production' makes no sense whatever! The production IS the band! Like saying, "Honey you're beautiful but you really need a fuckin' facelift!"
-- dave q (scrape10...), October 30th, 2003.

dave q to be interviewed by ME and MARK S on the radio!!!

broadcasting this Tuesday on Resonance 104.4 FM at 10pm GMT

podcast to be available here --> http://freakytrigger.co.uk/slugoftime

this is GO

revive!!!!!

KROKUS - Stayed Awake All Night

The Americans have spoken! The world will not be made smaller by computers but by grinding gears and great oil-burning engines. It’s not about security or secularisation, it’s about keeping the motorik running. The reason electronic pop music never became culturally dominant in the demonised heartland is that synth duos didn’t have large trucks loaded with equipment backing up to venues. The future was not designed by Kraftwerk but by Bachman-Turner Overdrive, although this 1983 BTO cover by a Swiss band incorporates “Metal on Metal”, except with volume-swell mirages evolving into a circular guitar pattern like the lights of the city coming into view after driving through the methamphetamine night. The DEA claims that “methamphetamine is attractive to people in rural communities because labs can be set up in abandoned barns”, when the real reason is that you have to drive about three hours to get anywhere! Those eerie green night-vision Iraq broadcasts are a good approximation of how rural people actually see things, especially during the nocturnal segments of their 96-hour days. The album this appears on is called ‘Headhunter’, and was apparently recorded at ‘Bee Jay Studios’!

--dave q, 2004

missed out on hearing sinker & dave q on the radio???? :(

ysi tracer?

think you have been praising him for some time, geeta

i've enjoyed all these revives

^Yes

hey brodie - it's linked on this page (it's the story called "the red brain") -

http://freakytrigger.co.uk/slugoftime/

got it thx Tracer

re: http://freakytrigger.co.uk/slugoftime

dave q has a great voice. drawly and swaggering, like a literate garfield. id expected a sharp quick snappy voice, quite surprised

(from The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald...)

in a sea of weed/ where everyone/ would love to drown
― dave q, Saturday, 28 August 2004 17:17 (8 years ago)

From Molly Hatchet vs Lynyrd Skynyrd

I think Hatchet made a mistake when they switched producers from Frank Frazetta to Boris Vallejo. Thank God they never sunk to working with the brothrs Hildebrandt

― dave q, Friday, September 28, 2001 5:00 PM (11 years ago)

seriously though what happened to him? we were in touch for a while but that's a lifetime ago now, and he had the Virgin Killer piece in that Marooned book but where is Dave Q anyway

i assume he returned to the q continuum

I'm in very irregular touch with one of his old bandmates, he might know.

DQ on ZZ Top's Mescalero

Todavia Tres Hombres

Filthier than a buck-nekked dip in the Rio Grande downstream from a maquiladora. Filthier (in every sense; there's even a "motherfucker") than XXX, which itself was better than anything to come out of Japan since Locust Abortion Technician, if not "You're Gonna Miss Me." And that's no slight on the honorable Japanese, compañeros. They made cars once, but maquiladora is the new "industry." To quote Pigface—"Welcome to Mexico . . . Asshole!"

Mescalero is structured like a blues show with really old guys—unsurprisingly as the ZZ arc = Stones arc reversed (i.e., Deguello/El Loco/Eliminator = Exile/Bleed/Beggars). Except ZZ aren't "done" yet. (Next album = Reconquista!) The new album's first third is Afterburner-type stuff (i.e., "chords"), except with vocoders. Daft? Zizi! Then just when you're resigned to another Afterburner the constant involuntary-volume-raising starts, and you're like "Master of Sparks" Jeb Bush cranking the lever up and down. Then they bring back Alfredo Garcia's head, then "Dusted" "combines IDM and rock" a lot more effectively than some other popular bands I could name, then you take the Alamo and bless it in the name of the tres hombres and Billy says (over a Don Brewer-type drum solo—that is the genius of this record in particular, in that the '80s bits are like being in the '80s except better, and the '70s bits are exactly like the '70s bits that everybody probably missed because they'd passed out by the time J. Geils or ARS or whoever was opening finished), "Bitch took my liquor."

Jesus was actually going to New Orleans to talk to Mr. Trafficante, by the way. Heard it on the (Camp)X(Ray), when I was swimming to Cuba. From Mozambique. ZZ Frelimo!? How do they know about all this shit that went down, anyway? Well I think it's something sinister. They were the bikers at the Capitol Altamont, and if you don't feed them their liquor'n'dust ("Piece": "gimme a piece . . . gimme a piece . . . of YER LUUUUUUUVE"), the reconquista promised since the foreboding Rio Grande Mud(whose cover shows them wading across it) is gonna be muy ugggly. Quite a lot of Mescalero is in Spanish, which leads me to believe it will play a major role in Project Eliminator in the bloody early days of New Aztlan. Viva la muerte!

Why Gordon Lightfoot continues to captivate us so...

Here's another vote for "Sundown". Poke holes in the stereo speaker cone and you'll hear the missing link between VU and the Stones. Speaking of VU, "Edmund Fitzgerald" is a far more crushingly monolithic droney dirge than they (or Spacemen 3) ever managed, plus it's about Mother Ocean reclaiming us all (the gravitational response to Can that was later adopted by Parliament and Drexciya), proving that Canada has evolved a sophisticated strain of nature mysticism that matches that which appeared in Russia centuries earlier (though entirely dissimilar - N. American variety characterised by a) existential will-to-power v. elements ['manifest destiny' on macro level] b) problems/opportunities of testing Enlightenment emancipation on crucible of 'nature' in purest form [the realpolitik that passeth all understanding] whereas Russian variety = syncretic combination of Orthodox Christianity and Siberian folk traditions/survival strategies [i.e. 'culture'?])

― dave q, Monday, July 8, 2002 5:00 PM (11 years ago)

Defending the As-Yet-Undefended: The Manhattan Transfer

That album's "Java Jive" did for caffeine what VU did for heroin, therefore MT invented DC hardcore

― dave q, Friday, July 11, 2003 3:13 AM (11 years ago)

This can't be Dave, can it? Heavily edited?

http://www.cxmagazine.com/sscxwc-single-speed-portland-dave-queen

Really strongly doubt it.

If that is Dave then well done for getting in shape!