mom placation was ironing by which mens perrypops in a womansuit is the new child mystericating teats that can taint baconated digestive broads plastercasting gnostically from the great gospel wwjh

my family never talks about religion/race/politics/gay sex

or anything else

one quiet family!

(this is like those conversations I have in sign language with my deaf acquaintance, isn't it? they seem to focus on "how are you" and responses and basic commentary on the weather...)

y'know i should stop bagging my family and say this: my parents are lower-working class highschool dropouts and conservative rural families, with no interest in art/literature/technology/culture/anything at all, i was raised to be extremely polite, hardworking, and not tolerant but respectful of other people's religion/ethnicity/sexuality. so there's that to be grateful for.

*FROM rural familes

arrrghh familIES

sister just got horribly bitchy during a game of cards and would not let us listen to music, just because she was losing. she is soooo weird. i kind of resent giving her the awesomest present of all, but i'm glad her husband will like it.

That's not so bad, really. What baffles me about my family is they really made a great effort to teach us to be polite and respectful, but then they are so NOT sometimes, if the culture isn't familiar to them. I don't get that!

"awesomest present of all!?"

it's funny to watch my family members all ask justine what time it is in new zealand turn-by-turn. it's like they're stunned by the fact that it's not the same time everywhere in the world.

lol

You guys, I have got to go sleep now, but <3 <3 <3 to all. You all rock!!!

their present was 10x nicer than anything i gave anyone else. also: awesome (seltzer maker!)

<3 to you sara!

hmm looking for a movie to go to tomorrow but it appears nothing i want to see is in theaters here :(

that's when it's time to go see a movie ironically.

twilight?
lol.

when i met jordan's grandma on webcam thanksgiving '07 she was totally tripped out by the fact that i was down on the other side of the world, yet still able to talk to her.

there is something called 'bedtime stories' playing which is making me lol uncontrollably because that is the name of the strip club just across the sc border on i-85. except i think that is 'bedtyme stories' maybe?

there's that scene in "the day the earth stood still" when kathy bates asks keanu reeves why he came to "our planet," and he says "your planet?" in that weird keanu reeves voice... and you can keep saying "your ____ ?" at the screen every time a character says "my" or "our".

go see 'teh day teh earth stood still'

all the ilx hate on this movie is WRONG WRONG WRONG

jordan has been doing this for like a week xpost

'YOUR chocolate?'

'YOUR blanket?'

'YOUR keys?'

and so on

xpost - on the company i work for's website, there's a section called "tip bar." and when i told the web designer that that's what they call the area around the stage of a strip club, he said, "what kind of strip clubs are you going to?"

it was weird.

oh doubt is playing. i wanted to see that. don't know if i can convince the masses.

"when i met jordan's grandma on webcam thanksgiving '07 she was totally tripped out by the fact that i was down on the other side of the world, yet still able to talk to her."

that also might be because she's 85 and doesn't understand fax machines, let alone webcams. seriously, i think picture phones and space rockets were like the main markers of strange futuristic times back in the 1930's.

if i went to see doubt, i would whisper about "DOUBTING this character is telling the truth" in justine's ear during EVERY SCENE. it would be so goddamn funny.

FYI, thanks to getting drunk tonight (by myself), i've posted more to ILX than at any point in my previous 28 years.

drunk on my xmas present from work

oh don't even mess, girlfriend. you said you didn't want to drink it because you only drink white wine. (you racist.)

Got drunk w/ uncle-by-undeclared-gay-marriage (as eluded to elsewhere) tonight, dude said while talking about cults and without any judgement at all, like he thought it was just curious and kind of interesting: "Now, what religion is Obama? Muslim?"

It was simultaneously O_o and XD.

i'm still learning about ilx-isms, and justine had to tell me what "XD" meant tonight. i kept thinking people were referring to memory cards, but thought that had to be wrong.

Bro I was totally talking about memory cards. His odd combination of ignorance and acceptance reminded me of the Olympus Type-M+ 2GB. What're you on about?

oh. god this place is confusing...

i said "i don't know what he's on about" tonight and then laughed about how justine's linguisticisms are rubbing off on me. she didn't realize that americans don't say that.

?

I've said it all my life! And I was born in ILLINOIS, AMERICA, USA.

THAT'S WHERE HE WAS BORN TOO!

Went to Canada only TWICE, and was sure to offend the locals with my harsh accent and (then) strong currency.

he also tried telling me awhile ago that 'savoury' was not the opposite of 'sweet'

I never got a hold on the meaning of "savoury" aside from like, "Mmm, good soup, savory, real filling", but the opposite of sweet, madame, is bitter.

savoury = salty

other contexts in which my use of certain words is 'funny':
i describe meals/foods as 'yum' or 'nice'

like, chips are savoury and chocolate is sweet

americans really say that?

actually you know what? i'm completely wrong about this. now i'm remembering the mr. show sketch when bob plays senator tankerbell and he goes to the valdosta folk fest and jelly-off to censor it... he goes up to david (playing "ole swerdlow") and says "what are you on about?" as ole shows him mr. limberlegs the puppet and the old ozark tradition of "songs n' storyin'."

that's an xpost a few up, btw.

Hold on, so, you really think of salty as the polar opposite of sweet, and bitter as some unassociated taste like spicy or sour?

If so your green card or whatever should probably be revoked.

LOL WE HAVE DIFFERENCES BECAUSE OF OUR DISPARATE CULTURES, UPBRINGINGS, AND LOCAL COLLOQUIALISMS LET US GET UP IN ARMS RE: THEM

"Hold on, so, you really think of salty as the polar opposite of sweet, and bitter as some unassociated taste like spicy or sour?"

OTM again.

oh F U N.I.C.K!! why don't you just move here and marry my bf already!!!

(j/k!)

don't worry, i haven't had enough to drink yet to admit to a man crush. yet.