fuck the assholes who write copy for Groupon

mmmm AMOEBA groupon

Ooh

"Groupon halves revenue forecast, COO hastily exits."

citation needed

Groupon Operating Chief Leaves as Company Restates Revenue
September 23, 2011, 7:54 PM EDT
By Douglas MacMillan

Sept. 23 (Bloomberg) -- Groupon Inc., the largest daily- deal site, announced the departure of its second chief operating officer in six months and restated revenue figures, cutting sales to a fraction of their previous levels.

Margo Georgiadis, head of operations, is leaving to rejoin her former employer, Google Inc., the Chicago-based company said today in a filing. In restating sales, Groupon cited “an error in its presentation of revenue.”

Groupon has lost executives and had to delay its initial public offering amid a volatile stock market. Brad Williams, the former head of communications, and Rob Solomon, Georgiadis’s predecessor as operating chief, left the company earlier this year. It’s also drawn flak for the way it accounted for income, which critics said was masking its true costs.

The company restated 2010 sales to $312.9 million, down from a previous level of $713.4 million. In its earlier accounting, Groupon counted the total amount of its daily-deal sales as revenue, including fees paid to merchants. The company makes money by selling discounts -- known as Groupons -- from businesses such as restaurants and nail salons. It then splits the revenue with the businesses.

“The company restated its reporting of revenues from Groupons to be net of the amounts related to merchant fees,” Groupon said in the filing. “Historically, the company has reported the gross amounts billed to its subscribers as revenue.”

First Half

Revenue in the first half of 2011 is now $688.1 million, compared with an earlier figure of $1.52 billion.

The company also said JPMorgan Chase & Co. is no longer a lead underwriter on its planned $750 million IPO. Groupon made the change after people with knowledge of the matter said online-coupon competitor LivingSocial hired the bank to raise more than $200 million in a round of private funding.

Wells Fargo & Co. joined the list of underwriters on Groupon’s offering, the filing showed.

Georgiadis will become Google’s president for the Americas region. Before going to Groupon in April, she was Google’s vice president of global sales. Her Groupon contract gave her a $500,000 salary and 300,000 fully vested stock options. Based on the $25 billion valuation Groupon was said to have been contemplating in March, those options would be worth $25.2 million dollars in an IPO.

‘Hard Decision’

“Groupon is a great company and I feel privileged to have worked there even for a short time,” she said today in a statement published by Groupon. “It was a hard decision to leave as the company is on a terrific path. I have complete confidence in the team’s ability to realize its mission.”

The executive will have an expanded role in her new position at Google, said Nikesh Arora, senior vice president and chief business officer of Mountain View, California-based Google.

“I called a great colleague from the past and asked her if she’d like to come back,” Arora said. “I could not ask for a better person to come back and work with us.”

Her earlier experience included a stint as chief marketing officer at Discover Financial Services.

steve shasta said it

xp dammit steve

Groupon is the Ponzi scheme that Perry should be bitching about.

Sure Drudge will connect it to other dubious Chicago finances soon enough.

I still have my TWO amoeba groupons

srsly, fuck these assholes who write copy for groupon

lol @ theater nerds not getting basic math

Groupon Shares Spike 40% at Open 3 minutes ago

smh

tbf there was a groupon coupon for groupon shares

The supply of dumb money and money that thinks it can find dumber money never abates.

lol iatee

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/03/11/fashion/many-consumers-find-it-hard-to-step-away-from-daily-deal-sites.html

has there ever been another billion dollar business that was 100% dependent on millions of people setting themselves up to be mad or disappointed?

facebook, zynga, (is fender a $1bn company?), sony lately.

has there ever been another billion dollar business that was 100% dependent on millions of people setting themselves up to be mad or disappointed?

― iatee, Saturday, March 10, 2012 3:13 PM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

how do you mean? i've used them before & been happy w/ it ...

or do you mean the restaurants?

both sides seem to get burned pretty regularly

most of the examples in that article are idiots buying shit they didn't actually want. like buying ... anything, its buyer beware.

I had an interview with groupon last week to write this sort of stuff. I would hate them too but need the work, which it looks like I haven't got. So, yeah, fuck them.

the companies often get fucked w/ Groupon.

Groupon usually tries to keep 100% of the revenues from the groupon, but will occasionally be so kind as to split it 50/50. Their logic is "the customer almost always spends a larger amount than the value of the Groupon". which isn't always true.

Groupon copywriter loathes his job:

"Features
7"x11" softcover photobook
20 pages hold up to 150 failed self-taken profile pictures
Photos uploaded directly from Facebook albums
Arranged in a theme of your choosing
Crop and move photos within online photobook template"

http://www.groupon.com/deals/gg-ca-rexall-custom-photobook

Also contains sentence "photos you upload directly from Facebook albums or surveillance drones."

hah, once you notice that stuff like "Each album boasts a customer-chosen theme and holds photos that can be cropped and moved around in the most eye-pleasing arrangement" really starts to sound just as harsh

Celebrate the Man Who Gave Birth to You

He felt you grow and kick inside of him for nine months—
thank him with deals on Father's Day gifts.

does Groupon know something about my father that I don't

Yes.

h8 when Groupon writers try to be "funny"

I always think of this guy when I read the "funny" groupon copy:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_0qLxIzEndA

hahahaha

https://livingsocial.com/events/cities/1171-georgetown-foggy-bottom/683996-djing-with-biz-markie-presented-by-stanton

I was waiting for it, and it delivered in the last sentence

u_u

umair haque
‏@umairh
Hey, what is that "1,2,3,4" song that came out a few years back? Was that Ting Tings?

So dip your brush or tune your ear to what’s happening on F Street -- you won’t be disappointed.

amirite?

haha oops wrong "assholes" thread

groupon is fucking crazy

http://i.imgur.com/5cYYGme.png

lol @ thread title too

really hope they're stroking the mouth BEFORE the anus

what's a skin vagina

Glad to know Groupon still has skin vagina in the game.

if you include the sushi at the bottom that is a real solid date night

lol I almost made a very similar post

so what are you doing later?

getting kicked out of the sushi place when I ask if the vulcan love roll only has salmon skin

I think I've used this like twice in my life, but get so many emails. They seem to be really pushing these faintly scammy-looking lottery ticket broker websites recently

I dodged the bullet of becoming one of these titular assholes thanks to my famed lack of follow-through in the face of opportunity. Whew!