Also it will prob be a better story than the one about your dad and the birds. Because THAT'S not depressing or anything.
― Laurel, Tuesday, 16 October 2007 00:27 (5 years ago) Permalink
I've been thinking about that one for the past few days. Why?
― Abbott, Tuesday, 16 October 2007 00:30 (5 years ago) Permalink
Hope the time passes quickly for you; depression is awful - I've so been there (not too badly lately, thankfully).
Hang in there. (And yeah, I'm sure that doesn't help much from a perfect stranger, but unless you're in southern Minnesota, it will be hard for me to invite you over for brownies or something!)
― Sara R-C, Tuesday, 16 October 2007 01:07 (5 years ago) Permalink
what kind of brownies
― deeznuts, Tuesday, 16 October 2007 01:10 (5 years ago) Permalink
megabus is only a dollar and i'd pay a dollar for brownies.
― chicago kevin, Tuesday, 16 October 2007 01:15 (5 years ago) Permalink
― omar little, Tuesday, 16 October 2007 01:15 (5 years ago) Permalink
See? An hour has already passed! How you doin?
― Laurel, Tuesday, 16 October 2007 01:21 (5 years ago) Permalink
Damn this accursed MACHIIIIINE!
― robertwolf8080, Tuesday, 16 October 2007 01:27 (5 years ago) Permalink
Just plain brownies! They are kind of fudgy - no nuts - very simple, with chocolate icing (really just chocolate chips melted with some butter). I made them because I was feeling low today.
Megabus sounds like something from My Neighbor Totoro. I must find out about it!
― Sara R-C, Tuesday, 16 October 2007 01:30 (5 years ago) Permalink
no weed, no visitation.
just kidding, id kill for any kind of homemade brownie right now.
and how is abbott doing now?? apparently no longer at her computer surfing ilx, which means: way better off than any of us.
― deeznuts, Tuesday, 16 October 2007 01:42 (5 years ago) Permalink
I went and got a baked potato at Wendy's. Some good songs came on the radio that made me nostalgic. The nostalgia took me places I shouldn't have gone, but the potato was good. And, uh, pulling through, You guys 'r' swell.
― Abbott, Tuesday, 16 October 2007 01:46 (5 years ago) Permalink
― chicago kevin, Tuesday, 16 October 2007 01:49 (5 years ago) Permalink
the bacon cheddar baked potato is the only baked potato worth having
― deeznuts, Tuesday, 16 October 2007 01:51 (5 years ago) Permalink
you're crazy deeznuts. the bacon cheddar may be at the top of the baked potato hierarchy but by no means is it "the only baked potato worth having".
― chicago kevin, Tuesday, 16 October 2007 01:54 (5 years ago) Permalink
I am actually a fan of the potato skins with cheddar and bacon, with a side of sour cream and chives. Hit all the bases that way.
― Laurel, Tuesday, 16 October 2007 01:56 (5 years ago) Permalink
ok, fine. excuse me for being hyperbolic. the sour cream & chive is a delicious steal, & i would recommend it to anyone short of $2.49.
xp i didnt know this was possible?? i dont have a wendy's within 45 mins of me anymore tho
― deeznuts, Tuesday, 16 October 2007 01:58 (5 years ago) Permalink
i know admitting it is like admitting that i enjoy the slaughter of kittens, but i have to say that i find baked potatos fairly nasty
― remy bean, Tuesday, 16 October 2007 01:59 (5 years ago) Permalink
Oh, not at Wendy's. They're awesome in diners or at home, though.
― Laurel, Tuesday, 16 October 2007 02:01 (5 years ago) Permalink
theyre mainly a starchy delivery device for cheese/sour cream/butter/etc
― jhøshea, Tuesday, 16 October 2007 02:02 (5 years ago) Permalink
remy, do you eat them with like, stuff on them? cuz baked potatoes are disgusting, which is why you coat them w/ butter & sour cream & cheese & bacon, all of which are wonderful things that i fail to understand how anyone could not love.
― deeznuts, Tuesday, 16 October 2007 02:03 (5 years ago) Permalink
fighting w/ my fiancee because i do what the psychiatrist + therapist tell me to do and she stubbornly fights them every inch of the way (we have different psychiatrists + therapists).
― moonship journey to baja, Tuesday, 16 October 2007 02:04 (5 years ago) Permalink
Remy has v cultivated tastes, he probably likes more imaginative potato forms. I'm a simple person, though, and I like mine with lots and lots of salt and dairy product.
― Laurel, Tuesday, 16 October 2007 02:05 (5 years ago) Permalink
i havent had one of those in so long i should bake one up. sour cream is one of my favorite things.
― jhøshea, Tuesday, 16 October 2007 02:07 (5 years ago) Permalink
actual potatoes made at my old apartment as part of an amorous evening. nothing hotter than cooking on a cold wet night.
― chicago kevin, Tuesday, 16 October 2007 02:13 (5 years ago) Permalink
― jhøshea, Tuesday, 16 October 2007 02:16 (5 years ago) Permalink
Holy mother, give me those potatoes.
― Laurel, Tuesday, 16 October 2007 02:22 (5 years ago) Permalink
see, the ratio of baked potato:topping really has to be about 1:2 for me to eat without complaint, and by that point i could just as well be gnawing drywall. for what it's worth, i don't like french fries either, unless the fry:ketchup balance is tilted to a near-farcical point
― remy bean, Tuesday, 16 October 2007 02:51 (5 years ago) Permalink
you can have the potatoes, give me that girl again...
― chicago kevin, Tuesday, 16 October 2007 03:27 (5 years ago) Permalink
Want a hug so bad and the man won't be home for three hours. Fucking THESE DAYS. These fucking days.
Trade 'man' for 'woman' and 'three hours' for '2 months'.
What's that sound effect in the Simpsons in the episode when Darlene from Roseanne tears out Bart's heart and throws it against the wall: "You won't be needing THIS anymore...ahahahahahaha"?
― Z S, Sunday, 1 June 2008 05:19 (4 years ago) Permalink
gif or it didnt happen
― and what, Sunday, 1 June 2008 05:20 (4 years ago) Permalink
I'm working on it. Softcore porn+Glowing Edges effect+Music
― Z S, Sunday, 1 June 2008 05:58 (4 years ago) Permalink
So when does one decide to call a therapist? I can't even begin to determine if I even have some form of depression (again). I... it seems easier just to shut up about it instead of talking about it.
― Nathalie (stevienixed), Friday, 6 February 2009 11:15 (4 years ago) Permalink
Awww, Nathalie. I would say, if your depression starting to interfere with your ability to function, then that's time to step in and get the medical help.
Then again, I don't know. A lot of people manage to function on autopilot and go on autopilot and look after kids and go on, even though they're feeling totally dead inside.
Only you can make that call, but if it's affecting your ability to work, to sleep, eating, your interactions with the people that you love - your standard basics - then you need to call someone in to help you out.
Good luck with it. x
― Arrive Naked, Bring Prog (Masonic Boom), Friday, 6 February 2009 11:30 (4 years ago) Permalink
Thing is you can always see a therapist - see if it helps. I saw one for 2 years - found it very helpful.
Of course, they are therapists and there are therapists, one method might not work for you.
To be honest I think everyone should see one!
― The Unbelievably Insensitive Baroness Vadera (Ned Trifle II), Friday, 6 February 2009 11:40 (4 years ago) Permalink
I... it seems easier just to shut up about it instead of talking about it.
For me this was crucial - I didn't want to talk about - it was too painful - to friends or family. Therapy "allows" you to do this without feeling "I'm just wasting everyone's time." Does that make sense?
― The Unbelievably Insensitive Baroness Vadera (Ned Trifle II), Friday, 6 February 2009 11:43 (4 years ago) Permalink
Yeah, woo. Also, everyone should spend a leisurely year in Paris, just drinking wine and eating cheese and malingering. So good for the soul.
To be honest I think you're being callous. Mental health care is really, really, really, REALLY expensive.
― mose def (kenan), Friday, 6 February 2009 11:48 (4 years ago) Permalink
Er... at least around here. My medication alone costs $300 a month, not counting sessions with the doctor, and I am quickly entering a situation where I will be working to pay for my mental health so I can keep working so I can etc etc. It's like delivering pizza to pay for car repair.
― mose def (kenan), Friday, 6 February 2009 11:52 (4 years ago) Permalink
Hi, welcome to The Sad Place, you must be This Depressed to enter.
― mose def (kenan), Friday, 6 February 2009 11:53 (4 years ago) Permalink
I got mine on the NHS. Sorry, wasn't meaning to be callous.
― The Unbelievably Insensitive Baroness Vadera (Ned Trifle II), Friday, 6 February 2009 11:54 (4 years ago) Permalink
Sorry, you touched a nerve. Nothing personal.
― mose def (kenan), Friday, 6 February 2009 11:55 (4 years ago) Permalink
Natalie, have you been to see your doctor about it yet? I'd say definitely do that first if you're open to the idea (helped *a lot* when my wife had post-natal depression btw)
― Frank Sumatra (NickB), Friday, 6 February 2009 11:56 (4 years ago) Permalink
i think the nice thing about a therapist is that you're paying them to listen to you talk about what's wrong (& of course hopefully help you out). It's not like a friend, where you have to consider whether or not you're making them uncomfortable or expecting too much of them or you'd actually rather hear about what's going on in their life. Going to a therapist is useful even if you're just trying to work something very temporary out of your system: there is nothing to do there but talk. I know you're not supposed to think of it this way but sometimes i sort of see the ~therapeutic space~ as the place where you talk about it so you can stay shut up about it everywhere else.
― c sharp major, Friday, 6 February 2009 11:59 (4 years ago) Permalink
xps, No I wasn't thinking. I have no idea what the situation is like in Belgium for instance. I'm just a bit...er...enthusiastic about it because it did me so much good. Continues to do so, too. I get a bit carried away.
― The Unbelievably Insensitive Baroness Vadera (Ned Trifle II), Friday, 6 February 2009 12:12 (4 years ago) Permalink
If cost is an issue then look into CBT, it's remarkably quick - ten sessions max on the NHS - and has really done wonders for me, just in terms of getting out of the mental rut I was in, transforming my attitude, restoring confidence etc.
― talk me down off the (ledge), Friday, 6 February 2009 12:20 (4 years ago) Permalink
Cost is not that big of an issue but, well, finding a good therapist is. Belgium has good healthcare. I think I could check with my doctor first and then it would be even cheaper? I had one but he ignored my cries for help in regard to my panic attacks. Really strange. I wanted to ask: "Why don't you HEAR me when I talk about my panic attacks?" Instead I just gave up and stopped going. I'm not sure if I need to. I have the (wrong) idea that this is me, this is how I feel at times so why bother with addressing this "problem". I also feel I'm a bit silly for being this way because I simply don't have anything to complain about. Yes, I know, that's not really the issue. I also don't like talking about it cause I just start crying. IF I don't, then I can just pretend it's not here/there/anywhere.
I don't think it's postnatal depression unless hahaha it extends to 16 months after giving birth. haha
― Nathalie (stevienixed), Friday, 6 February 2009 12:47 (4 years ago) Permalink
I dunno, it can last for quite a while. But whatever it is, I'd say it's still worth giving your doctor a go first.
― Frank Sumatra (NickB), Friday, 6 February 2009 13:08 (4 years ago) Permalink
If your doctor refuses to listen to you when you bring up panic attacks, then that's cause to find a new doctor. A good doctor pays attention to their patient's mental state of health, as well as physical. If you told your doctor that you were having sharp pains in your head, and he just ignored you, instead of sending to check you for migraines, would you keep going to him? Why should mental health be any different? Panic attacks are a symptom - they're a sign that the mind is in distress and needs some kind of attention. You can't just ignore them like that, if you're a doctor.
― Arrive Naked, Bring Prog (Masonic Boom), Friday, 6 February 2009 13:32 (4 years ago) Permalink
― iatee, Monday, 31 August 2009 18:04 (3 years ago) Permalink
That is really really really interesting and also reminds me to post this point from an article in Discover Magazine called "The Seven Deadly Sins" (sadly I don't think the art is avail online):
Most of us perceive ourselves as slightly smarter, funnier, more talented, and better-looking than average. These rose-colored glasses are apparently important to mental health, the psychological immune system that protects us from despair. "Those who see themselves as they truly are -- not so funny, a bad driver, overweight -- have a greater chance of being diagnosed with clinical depression," says Julian Paul Keenan, director of the cognitive imagine laboratory and professor of psychology at Montclair State University in New Jersey. For most of us, it takes less mental energy to puff ourselves up than to think critically about our own abilities. In one recent neuroimaging study by blah blah in Japan, volunteers who imagined themselves winning a prize or trouncing an opponent showed less activation in brain regions associated with introspection and self-conscious thought than people induced to feel negative emotions such as embarrassment.
For most of us, it takes less mental energy to puff ourselves up than to think critically about our own abilities. In one recent neuroimaging study by blah blah in Japan, volunteers who imagined themselves winning a prize or trouncing an opponent showed less activation in brain regions associated with introspection and self-conscious thought than people induced to feel negative emotions such as embarrassment.
― The Lion's Mane Jellyfish, pictured here with its only natural predator (Laurel), Monday, 31 August 2009 18:29 (3 years ago) Permalink
In one recent neuroimaging study by blah blah in Japan
― Ned Raggett, Monday, 31 August 2009 18:36 (3 years ago) Permalink
i felt like that spectrum, for maybe 10 years, from early adolescence until a year ago or so, with the worst part being around two years ago when i was severely depressed, barely functional really. sometimes it seems like i just "grew out of it", which isn't helpful to you, but i really do feel better now. i think the reasons i feel better are twofold. 1.) i started making "taking care of myself" a priority... so all the obvious stuff like diet, exercise, SLEEP (the biggest one for me, a lifelong insomniac), whatever. i think that as adults, we are our own "dependents," and if we neglect ourselves it has comparable consequences to what happens to children when their parents neglect them. 2.) i got a dog after college and having to take care of her made me feel like my life had, on the day-to-day level, a kind of purpose, albeit a modest one. that matters, i think. the worst days of my life were idle ones, where everything i did felt arbitrary and consequence-less. also she is the best dog in the world.
it would be a lie if i said that i know, precisely, that these two things are what made me feel better, but i do know that i no longer spend any time thinking of myself as anything like a "gollum monster"... a phrase you used which struck a chord with me because it is similar, although maybe more whimsical, than a lot of the things i would think about myself when i was depressed, i.e. i would think that i was "sub-human" somehow. i don't feel that way anymore.
sorry if all of this sounds like cliches. it's hard to talk about emotional health without resorting to cliched sounding things. i'm sure you'll get better, spectrum. the most important thing is to treat yourself kindly, both in your thoughts and actions.
― Michigan seems like a dream to me now (Treeship), Sunday, 19 May 2013 01:21 (2 days ago) Permalink
(that was way too long and over-sharey. sorry. mostly, i wanted to respond because the thing you said about not wanting to meet people because of internalized self-loathing just really registered with me.)
― Michigan seems like a dream to me now (Treeship), Sunday, 19 May 2013 01:23 (2 days ago) Permalink
impossible to over-share on depression thread
― resulting paste of mashed cheez poops (silby), Sunday, 19 May 2013 01:30 (2 days ago) Permalink
(also, i basically think that with this stuff, everyone has their own path toward feeling better... not every "trick," cognitive or behavioral, works in the same way for every person. so just, everyone here, i think you should all follow your instincts. if you do what you think is the best thing for yourself, you are probably doing the right thing.) xp to myself
― Michigan seems like a dream to me now (Treeship), Sunday, 19 May 2013 01:31 (2 days ago) Permalink
― the late great, Sunday, 19 May 2013 01:50 (2 days ago) Permalink
― Nhex, Sunday, 19 May 2013 03:28 (2 days ago) Permalink
The wedding went very well - I was feeling quite a bit better by then thankfully. I did manage to sweat many times my own body-weight, but I was able to pass off that as being due to the kilt rather than anxiety (and my kilt is horribly heavy and hot). After my speech I was able to get down to some serious drinking, which is my usual way of dealing with these problems. Today is my first day of sobriety though, so I can't do that anymore. Just need to make it to Friday when I start on Disulfiram.
― the so-called socialista (dowd), Monday, 20 May 2013 14:05 (Yesterday) Permalink
that's good to hear; good luck dude
― Nhex, Monday, 20 May 2013 14:07 (Yesterday) Permalink
I have been swallowed by depression again over the past two weeks, getting to be a bit worrisome. I'm already on a good dosage of celexa which I've been taking for the past year to good effect, but it's like it suddenly (very suddenly) stopped working entirely. it was nice to have a year without daily suicidal ideation but that seems to have returned as well. All of this probably partially prompted by me asking for copies of my psychiatric records from almost 20 years ago, when I was committed three times in the span of a year for attempts and overdoses and weird drug induced seizures. Awful to look at this huge pile of records and think most people do not have this sort of paper trail in their life (I got the records so I could go back to the university and retroactively withdraw from an entire year of school in order to boost my gpa and finally get my degree).
Anyway this is a bit long but meant to say: feel like shit.
― akm, Monday, 20 May 2013 21:11 (Yesterday) Permalink
hugs and strength. Sorry about the meds situation, hope you'll both keep taking them and go see your prescribing doc ASAP. I'm on the same stuff and I did increase my dosage once…I guess it was after a year and a half. The retroactive withdrawal thing sounds like an awesome move, though, and you deserve to be proud of dealing with it.
― 0808ɹƃ (silby), Monday, 20 May 2013 22:48 (Yesterday) Permalink
wow, depression is a really awful thing. i should be feeling OK right now. i received the "best performance review" of anyone in my department this year, got a higher than expected raise, much love from the upstairs people, and an open door to get an even bigger raise if I fight for it (which I will). my supervisor had some very kind words to say to me. it SHOULD HAVE been a very pleasant thing, but instead I feel worse than ever.
i'm really starting to notice my cognitive dialog now, and it keeps telling me I'm a fucking loser. CBT sez: it's the thinking that's making my reality seem like this. that seems so friggin nuts! but it also seems like it makes sense. i really gotta try it, because I don't want to fuck things up anymore.
― Spectrum, Tuesday, 21 May 2013 01:52 (14 hours ago) Permalink
fight it man
― Nhex, Tuesday, 21 May 2013 03:09 (13 hours ago) Permalink
Does the dialog get more insistent when you actually do well or something goes right?
― lets just remember to blame the patriarchy for (in orbit), Tuesday, 21 May 2013 03:12 (13 hours ago) Permalink
yes, including when people seem to like me. bug out time.
― Spectrum, Tuesday, 21 May 2013 03:15 (13 hours ago) Permalink
thanks nhex, i'm not giving up on this.
It's good that you've noticed! You know it's just getting shriller and more desperate because you're that much closer to seeing through that shit. Your psyche has to double-down and try to hold on to you.
― lets just remember to blame the patriarchy for (in orbit), Tuesday, 21 May 2013 03:17 (13 hours ago) Permalink
^^ in orbit otm. Minds can be stupid petrified iin the face of the unknown and fight like a wildcat to hold onto the worst kind of crap rather than face it.
― Aimless, Tuesday, 21 May 2013 03:45 (12 hours ago) Permalink
pretty tired of having feelings when they're always bad
― mookieproof, Tuesday, 21 May 2013 06:30 (9 hours ago) Permalink
I had a similar issue with citalopram/celexa, akm. I think I ended up shifting to venlafaxine - though I sometimes have similar problems anyway. sometimes I can just have a week where, despite taking my meds properly, I end up getting withdrawal symptoms, and the beneficial effect evaporates. I presume it's a metabolism problem? My psych reckons that my alcoholism can play a factor in the efficacy of the meds too.
Anyway, sorry things are bad (and to everyone else who is having a hard time). Though I know that someone saying that doesn't really change much.
― the so-called socialista (dowd), Tuesday, 21 May 2013 07:47 (8 hours ago) Permalink
i've been told countless times that if you're drinking then venlafaxine isn't working, which might account for those horrible withdrawals. if you're not drinking i don't know, i never heard of there being after-effects.
― the league against cool sports (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 21 May 2013 09:50 (6 hours ago) Permalink
Fwiw I've never had a problem with alcohol and effexor (venlavaxine), or experienced it stopping its effect. If anything it has made alcohol intake 'better' for me, as in, no hangovers any more. Odd but true.
Withdrawal from venlax is a right bastard though.
― Le Bateau Ivre, Tuesday, 21 May 2013 10:17 (6 hours ago) Permalink