Depression and what it's really like

Cleveland Heights, which is generally a good, safe neighborhood, but with Northeast Ohio hit so hard by the ongoing recession, and bordering East Cleveland being such a shithole, there's been a real uptick in crime. I am just so freaked out by the idea that someone was in our house, while we were there. I know Leigh-Anne went downstairs for something at like 1:30am -- they could have been in the house then! She could have been hurt!

Oh wow, this is in Cleveland? I know East Cleveland. I'm sorry Phil, that's just awful. Intruders are #1 thing I'm scared of, so I can see how that would affect you and your wife so deeply.

Man, I'm saying, an alarm system can run you as little as $30 a month plus installation.

Our home was broken into WHILE WE WERE IN BED ASLEEP

Phil, I'm so sorry this happened to you guys. Mr. Jaq and I had the same thing happen (including laptop and wallet full of ID and checks for deposit stolen) when we lived in a loft. It took us both a long time to feel comfortable and safe enough to sleep w/o lights, and it kicked my generally held in check OCD up to the point of it being a real problem. I didn't want to medicate myself to sleep - I wanted to be able to react if, heaven forbid, I had to in the middle of the night. So we would have one of us nap heavily while the other was vigilant, for awhile. After a few months, the anxiety faded, only to be brought back in full when some utility workers found my wallet + ID on the roof of another building. It took a lot to stop thinking about this person being in the same room with us as we slept.

Living in a rented place that could not be permanently modified, I ended up getting these for all the double-hung windows and doing the door lock check many times every night. Eventually we were okay to sleep. Do what you need to do to feel safe, get stronger scrips from your doctor if that's what you need right now.

yeah, so traumatic and gross. my unsolicited internet advice -- do what you need take care of yourselves, but of course w/o obsessing or fixating on it . like don't let desperate ppl win over your default peace of mind. thankfully most ppl want to help and not harm you; although it's perfectly natural to fixate on contrarian scenarios after someone violates your home

I've been sleeping with an aluminum softball bat. Like, in the bed with me, holding the handle while I sleep.

: (

I did buy it dinner, though, so I think we're cool.

We're looking into alarm systems, because while police don't think the culprit was in the house very long, it's possible they cased the house for future burglaries. The other shitty thing is, my laptop was logged in to Google at the time for Gmail, which also means someone could access my Google Docs account, which contained a document which recorded logins and passwords for all of our credit card sites, utilities, banking, etc. It was protected, but christ knows what people can hack these days. So I had to go through and change all of our logins and passwords, and report all of our credit card information as potentially stolen.

i had my laptop burgled while i slept once too :( no fun. i "solved" the situation by actually having a good lock on my door. shitty locks are the cause of 100% of burglaries i've been victim of. get a good lock and don't worry about it any more.

Phil, would you consider getting a dog? It doesn't have to be like an attack beast, but a dog that will bark furiously when something's awry makes me feel a lot safer after some creepy things went down in my apt building.

Dogs also snuggle better than baseball bats.

Then again, baseball bats won't shit in the corner, so ymmv.

They came in through a window. We have great locks and deadbolts on both the front and side doors, and every window in the house was closed/locked EXCEPT for two crank-out casement style windows in our back sunroom. (See photo of room here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/muggingovercoffee/488116636/) They were opened about 5" because that room is like a hothouse so we like to air it out. Someone pulled the window open farther, then pushed on the screen until it popped out.

Keep in mind, from the outside, that window is a good 5+ feet off the ground, and it's only about 14" wide. Whoever did this was very small, but able to hoist himself up quite easily (police took a shoe print off the siding and from the living room), and seemed to know exactly what they wanted and where to find it. But I can't think of anyone who has ever been in our house who would be a likely suspect.

xxp After just recently losing two cats I don't think we could think about getting a dog right now. Certainly not for burglar-alarm type purposes. Although nothing would make me happier than siccing like, a bull mastiff on someone.

Yeah, I have a back-up fleet of chihuahuas in case a burglar tries to come in one of the windows that isn't alarmed.

that would be pretty great if you did

http://www.bestweekever.tv/bwe/images/2008/09/scooterdogs9.jpg

Well, a chihuahua, a maltese, and two hybrids. They're almost completely useless most of the time, but they'd get the job done if someone tried to get in our house.

That picture's great, Phil.

I love it! What a bunch of happy little friends.

i like to sleep with the windows open, but whenever i go out i have to make sure every window in the house is locked, as well as the front and back doors. we're facing a busy street with minimal parking, so *knock on wood* someone out there would notice if a burglar was trying to get in.

how's it going dance

ask me again next week.

ok good luck

sup

it takes 4 weeks to reach full effect. i'm on the second week and i just started adding the lunchtime pill to the breakfast and dinner pills. i don't feel anything yet, except more tired than usual. it's been a difficult week though, for various reasons, so "not feeling better" is par for the course.

how often do you feel like ditching everything medicinal and letting the chips fall, etc

i do, constantly. but the consequences are never suitably epic; i just stay in bed for a few days while considering unpleasantries. and then, i dunno, the same shit just continues forever.

i can't ditch everything; it'd be too tempting to lie there in the dark all day and make bad decisions about my personal upkeep.

the same shit just continues forever

life, in my experience.

(not even meant to be sarcastic. in the belly of the beast myself at the moment.)

i've spent a ridic amount of time on ilx today because i've been down; when i feel okay i just check in on a few threads and go about my business. abnormal ilx use is a cry for help. :-(

so there are things that i *know* help

like especially exercise
and not drinking
and reading
and trying to keep regular hours

some are more difficult than others

but i struggle to do any of them

reading does help. anything escapist that won't destroy your liver does help. i say that while i finish a strong manhattan.

<3

good vibes, homies

for me, i'm indulging in reading, tv, movies, music. the reading's going a little slower because i have trouble concentrating on books at home -- it's only while commuting or killing time somewhere.

re-read this today and it was a to-the-bone gutting:

The almost 35-year-old Terry Schmidt had very nearly nothing left of the delusion that he differed from the great herd of common men, not even in his despair at not making a difference, or in the great hunger to have an impact that in his late twenties he'd clung to as evidence that even though he was emerging as a sort of a failure the grand ambitions which he'd judged himself a failure were somehow exceptional and superior to the common run's--not anymore.

that seems like inappropriate reading material tbh

and yet you have started threads and been tall and beloved (perhaps misleadingly) by randy music critic fans for quite some time now

how have you done it

pigheadedness tbh.

also life has a weird way of bouncing back at the most unexpected moments so far. and so.

^^^optimism! bless

people who follow me on facebook have had to deal with my recent spate of posts about the hallmark channel reruns of the waltons and little house on the prairie. so. fucking. epic. i think being a pre-1940 hardy rural farmgirl would be a nice restorative for me and kick my ass a bit.

in my dream i get to be a pioneer chick in 1880s minnesota AND a tummler in the catskills AND glenn branca's girlfriend

all at the same time

read that as glenn beck's girlfriend and got pretty nervous tbh

also "tummler" <3

my people

i keep catching my user name in this thread and its v disconcerting

get out of my vagina then

and the boys usually have such a hard time getting into jessica's vagina!!!

okay, okay. i relent.

there we go.

get out of my memes (etc)

oh no its ok its just that im feeling ~kinda down~ today and kept thinking that id posted itt (which i try not to do) and blah blah blah

yeah i was trying to not be bummer dude today and instead be internet asshole strongo hulkington