show etiquette

ah what the hell, copying this from the hidden thread because it isnt like this dude can use google or anything

So this morning this regular customer who is sort of an inveterate drunk and a complete ass comes in and is all slurry mouthed (presumably from lingering booze) and asks for a harmonica in the key of G. I tell him we don't have one and he starts asking if I know how to clean harmonicas, and while im telling him to soak it in water and hope for the best etc, he produces a blood soaked rag wrapped around a blood encrusted harmonica and sets it on the counter (aaagghj). He explains that last night he was at the bar and decided to play harmonica along with the band (not on stage, but just loudly over at the bar), at which point the guy next to him punched him in the harmonica, and by proxy the mouth, which now is a small cemetery of partial tooth stubs. Which explains the speech pattern i suppose.

added bonus: thanks to his sleeveless shirt i now know that his arms are covered with about 15 jailhouse swastikas, a crudely done eagle with a syringe in its mouth, a wolf engaged in mortal combat with (i think) a diseased raccoon, and "I LIKE TO FUCK" in big block lettering.

― CUSE EX MACHINA (jjjusten), Saturday, May 29, 2010 4:31 PM (1 year ago)

sarahel if you want to know what someone looks like cumming you have to watch them play guitar

added bonus: thanks to his sleeveless shirt i now know that his arms are covered with about 15 jailhouse swastikas, a crudely done eagle with a syringe in its mouth, a wolf engaged in mortal combat with (i think) a diseased raccoon, and "I LIKE TO FUCK" in big block lettering.

...daddy?

punched him in the harmonica is all time writing

presumably you could still hear the music while making the frequent bar visits ... like, i don't really get why one needs to be able to see the musicians playing in order to have a full concert experience.

I get this, but its annoying to have to constantly move out of the way for these people making all the trips back and forth. I was recently at a show at the Chicago Theatre, which has fixed seating and even when standing there isn't enough room for people to get by down the aisles, and of course the pair sitting in the middle of our row made about 12 trips to the bar.

I remember some girl pushing up to the front of the stage, pointing at Paul Westerberg who was six inches away and asking me "So who's that?"

― http://tinyurl.com/whitepony (Pleasant Plains), Wednesday, October 20, 2010 11:06 AM Bookmark

the inability to drink comfortably and free of stress while watching a show are down to structural inadequacies rather than individual failings

I think that's a fair assessment.

Jesus Christ will y'all stop fuckin goin to shows so the rest of us can have good drunken fun. Stay at at home w/yr Lawrence Welk

gladly!

lawrence welk is entertaining as hell btw.

a couple of weeks ago i went to a club w/ a motown covers band cuz its fun to dance to 60s music and the dancefloor was crammed full of ppl standing still, recording & taking pictures of the band on their phones & i was like "..." but also felt sadly close to that whiney post where he wishes some kind of painful cancer on these ppl

that reminds me of a dance party i went to last month, where a half dozen people showed up with hula hoops.

I'll tell you has poor show etiquette: opening bands. It's like, please don't play we don't care about you

This is why I like shows by "heritage" acts; middle-aged folks keep their phones in their pockets.

In re: the people go back and forth to the bar during the show. When I lived in the Netherlands and you would go to decent-sized gigs, they would have dudes with kegs strapped to their backs and long sleeves of plastic cups roaming the crowd. You would just wave them over, pay them, and they would dispense beer to you right then and there. Fucking brilliant, has anyone else ever seen this? It's like the perfect solution IMO.

The same people that get mad at the bar hoppers would get mad at keg dudes moving around their area. It sounds great to me, though

I really wish people wouldn't continue to do the following things at metal shows:

A. Do "hardcore" dances. There's a place for these -- HARDCORE SHOWS. If you're not at one of those, KNOCK IT THE FUCK OFF AND MOSH LIKE EVERYONE ELSE. otherwise it just causes people to get unnecessarily hurt

B. drag people (intentionally or semi-intentionally) who have no desire to mosh into the pit

C. get butthurt while they're moshing if they fall over after they're hit by someone by someone who was...merely moshing the same as they were.

No way, I hate the bar hoppers but would totally be down with roaming keg dispensers.

Moshing is tedious when I'm not in the mood and amazing when I am.

I love doing it in venues where it works properly. one of the places I go often is very wide but not very deep, which makes moshing uncomfortable and difficult, but this other place I went has such a deep floor that it's a hell of a lot of fun.

I saw Judas Priest last week and one of the great things about it was that the crowd was like 90% made up of real lifer-lookin' metal sorts who were totally au fait with how to behave at a Priest show, ie NO FUCKING MOSHING

yea, same when I saw Savatage ten years ago

The thing about the keg guys is the simplicity is what makes it brilliant. Unlike bar hoppers/cocktail waitresses there are no decisions to be made except "how many?" You can indicate this non-verbally as well, making the entire transaction silent and pretty unobtrusive. The guys aren't milling around the entire show loudly hocking their wares, like at a baseball game. They just pass through the crowd at strategic moments and you beckon them over.

It would definitely work in this college town.
Not such a big deal since no one goes to shows, anyway.

Sounds awesome. Also semi-self regulating when your stack of cups gets too unwieldly.

Trying to picture a guy with a keg of his beer on his back, standing in a dark pit of audience members, trying to break a twenty from some drunk frat guy.

And me standing behind this transaction.

I remember some girl pushing up to the front of the stage, pointing at Paul Westerberg who was six inches away and asking me "So who's that?"

For Curren$y's set at Pitchfork Fest last weekend, I staked out a spot close to the stage, despite being uncomfortably surrounded by sweaty strangers. I overheard a couple of kids next to me while waiting for him to go on.

Her: So who's this band?
Him: It's not a band, it's a rapper.
Her: Oh. Is he any good?
Him: Not really.

All I could think was "You're taking up my elbow room."

Festival audiences are a thing unto themselves, though.

Shit, that would have made me cry

They had roaming keg dispensers at Lovebox last Sunday. GODSEND.

There was another good solution at Splendour yesterday: drinks could only be bought with pre-paid tokens, bought from a separate desk. This meant that you only had to join one queue all day, which you could schedule to suit. And as there was no cash to faff around with at the bars themselves, service was instantaneous.

oh god the tokens thing has never worked anywhere i've encountered it - i get why it'd be effective in theory but in practice it just leads to TWO huge queues.

roaming drink-sellers are a great solution wherever there's actually room for them to roam, which sadly excludes the vast majority of sold-out shows.

I was once dragged by hair and feet to some Texas Motor Speedway to see the goddam HORDE Festival in full effect. The Republic of Texas had some sort of system where you had to get an I-card, some sort of state verification that your driver's license was real, before you could get alcohol from another vendor. Lines for both booths were hundreds of yards long in the July sun, so I didn't drink, sitting through Dave Fucking Matthews sober as a statue. I hate Texas.

Anyway, that sounds like what would happen if they tried the token thing. Seems like a scam like those festivals where all the vendors take "River Bucks" or something like that, and it's non-returnable.

Lines for both booths were hundreds of yards long in the July sun, so I didn't drink, sitting through Dave Fucking Matthews sober as a statue. I hate Texas.

I don't know if you have other reasons for hating Texas, but this seems like plenty to me.

It's not like Texas itself killed JFK, but I'd understand why Jackie never wended to go back.

wended? wanted

Here's something interesting and semi-related; Alternative Press interviewing bands about what fans should and shouldn't do when meeting their favorite band.

Phew, now I know what not to ask the douches in Pierce the Veil next time I encoutner them.

Don’t ask me to tweet you happy birthday for two reasons: 1. No one should have to ask for someone else to wish them happy birthday and 2. If I do say happy birthday to you, the floodgates open and everyone and their mother wants a birthday tweet.

kinda-sorta not related in any way, but i interviewed fountains of wayne for my zine back around the time of their first album, and asked chris to dedicate a song to my gf from the stage later on that night. he did, but the song he chose to dedicate to her was 'she's got a problem'.

what fans should and shouldn't do when meeting their favorite band.

fans shouldn't meet their favourite band imo

always leads to disappointment

speaking of disappointment, i've practically given up on going to see my favorite bands, let alone meet them.

i just gestured at the stage and threw my hands up in exasperation like are you even AWARE of where we ARE right now

― night of the living based gods (flopson), Thursday, July 21, 2011 8:52 PM (5 days ago) Bookmark

<333333333333333

Meeting your favorite artists can be awkward, but you have to remember there's no social rules for when a stranger and an intimate meet. You think you KNOW these people but you don't, at all, you're a complete stranger to them. Personally, I like to shake their hands and say "Thanks" and be on my way. Length social interaction and unrealistic expectations is what leads to disappointment.

Having said that I've had almost all positive experiences meeting musicians.

Personally, I like to shake their hands and say "Thanks" and be on my way.

yep!

every once in a while if its someone I've been listening to for 20 years, I'll hit them with a quick question about the making of a song—rap legend Milk D hit me off with a pretty detailed story about the making of the "Top Billin" beat fairly recently and I was psyched. But if it's someone newer, I usually just give a pound and dash. I passed Yelawolf in a hotel lobby, and I had been listening to his record non-stop that month, but I didn't really have much more to say than "Love your record to death, keep it up, man" and then I bounced.

basically, i think the rule with famous ppl is you get one question, so make it not stupid.

In my experience you should always start off with "Can I show you my tattoo of you?" and start undoing your pants.

SHANE TOLD of SILVERSTEIN
What is the one question fans should not ask you?
“Will you sign my boobs?” “Do you get a lot of groupies?” “Can I be your groupie?” Those questions are all pretty awkward.

all signs point to: you wish this was a problem for you, Shane.

Ran into Jason Spaceman in a record shop once, couldn't even bring myself to say "I love your music" and then I regretted it.
I was hungover and just too intimidated. He's not really an extrovert, nor am I.
I've had nothing but positive experiences with meeting artists whose music I enjoy, though.