Chuck Asay died for your sins: batshit rightwing cartoonists 2009

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RAP

http://www.theonion.com/content/files/images/KellyKidsGadgets.jpg

There's at least one Kelly cartoon even closer to the one above it.

That's the fun part about all this and Kelly himself; we've reached the point where Poe's Law is constantly in effect for these guys.

SLUT and RAP BAND are excellent names for children

we reached that point like 8 months ago at the latest
it's really more like last january or even two years ago in some cases, mallard fillmore for sure

Nice bit of detail where the actual gizmos and the representations of gizmos on the sign both have little electrical squiggly lines

The kid on the Grinch cartoon is staring at a huge floppy disk labeled, porn. Considering he got that out of some pre-PC 8-inch floppy-reading relic, there's probably only about 1/2 a JPEG on it.

Either way he could look a bit friggin happier about the fact he's getting to look at some

There's at least one Kelly cartoon even closer to the one above it.

this gives me an excuse to look at all the kelly cartoons again. closest I could find:

http://www.theonion.com/content/files/images/Cartoon-Girls-Gone-Wild.jpg
http://www.theonion.com/content/files/images/Cartoon-Video-Games.jpg

Kelly's apparent obsession with teen underwear in the first cartoon is v. funny.

http://media.townhall.com/Townhall/Car/b/tmdsu08121820081219125739.jpg

Awful cold in december for your standard strawman

http://media.townhall.com/Townhall/Car/b/tmdsu08121820081219125739.jpg

http://media.townhall.com/Townhall/Car/b/gm08121920081219010112.jpg

http://media.townhall.com/Townhall/Car/b/gm08121820081219010106.jpg

(1) You guys remember when that the crooked chicago governor with the big-ass hair ran for national office and then got elected? Good times.

(2) who is this guy talking to? Was it the demmycrats who went on and on about how their ticket had crazy experience, such experience to the point where any other consideration was irrelevant?

http://media.townhall.com/Townhall/Car/b/Foden20081219-Obama20081219120707.jpg

Strawman Buckteef-in-Chief

http://media.townhall.com/Townhall/Car/b/081219beelertoon_c20081219013945.jpg

Actually, a twirling cane, straw hat, and bowtie would make me _more_ likely to put faith in the Fed's actions, just for style.

oops, that 2nd image should be this:

http://media.townhall.com/Townhall/Car/b/tmwst08121720081219125739.jpg

http://media.townhall.com/Townhall/Car/b/tmdsu08121820081219125739.jpg

Newspaper dispenser commanding us to murder the dude reading TV TRASH. WTF?

What a weird little place to set up a card table with a Nativity scene on it.

http://www.daybydaycartoon.com/121608.jpg
If this is a gag I don't get it

http://www.daybydaycartoon.com/121708.jpg
"this is true" is not a punchline.

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cannot parse this one at all

uh

http://www.daybydaycartoon.com/121608.jpg
If this is a gag I don't get it

http://www.daybydaycartoon.com/121708.jpg
"this is true" is not a punchline.

http://www.daybydaycartoon.com/121808.jpg
cannot parse this one at all

some great copy-pasting there too. how come redhead's fringe swaps sides depending on which direction she's facing?

Trouble with DBD is it's so manifestly lame that you have to dig really hard to find something worth commenting on.

What a weird little place to set up a card table with a Nativity scene on it.

yeah, that's the thing. Of course we know that the situation is just random pedestrians freaking out whenever any sort of Nativity tchotke deigns impudence enough to break into their field of vision; doesn't matter if its in front of a church, a minor display in a shop, a hilariously mammoth display on the steps of city hall, or that scene in _Home Alone_.

And who the fuck lets their innocent tow-headed child hang out unchaperoned in front of the lingerie shop on the same block as your porn store?

'shirt' should be 'shot' in the first frame of the second cartoon, too...

i was shopping for a nativity set for my mom one year and was in this store that had like two dozen.

it didnt take long for me to realize that the baby jesus was missing from every single one. i asked the lady working there if someone stole all thier jesus babies and she said "no, we keep them behind the counter because people will steal them" lolllll

http://www.theonion.com/content/files/images/KellyYearInReview08.jpg

"room temp"?

those onion cartoons don't count, come on.

The problem with the Sumers one is that it fails to ake into account that what gets people all riled up is not a nativity scene, it's a nativity scene on public property or sponsered by govt. If Christians want to be less disingenuous about this we could come to a compromise whereby they could have their nativity scenes and I could engage in Aztec human sacrfices and Voodoo ceremonies etc..., down at the library or on the front steps of city hall.

Onion cartoons are relevant responses to topic and also lol

haha, naive parents have struck again!

http://www.theonion.com/content/files/images/KellyHalloweenCostumes.jpg

http://www.theonion.com/content/files/images/KellyCampaignHeros.article.jpg

http://www.theonion.com/content/files/images/KellyWeeklyPapers.article.jpg

http://www.theonion.com/content/files/images/KellyVHS.jpg

http://www.theonion.com/content/files/images/KellyTeens.jpg

http://www.theonion.com/content/files/images/KellyThriftShops.jpg

http://www.theonion.com/content/files/images/KellyEthanol.jpg

http://www.theonion.com/content/files/images/KellyTheMall_4_28_08.jpg

http://www.theonion.com/content/files/images/KellyRaceTalk2.jpg

"funky"

HERE IT IS, this is the one i was looking for:

http://www.theonion.com/content/files/images/cartoon_2_11_08.jpg

SOME GIZMO

http://www.theonion.com/content/files/images/Teens-Turning-Backs.jpg

you know the onion got complaints cuz ppl thought kelly was 4real?

lol

oh shit I hadn't seen GREEDY AFRICAN CHILDREN before

some of my favorite kellys are the ones where the artist is parodying how those right-wing cartoonists sometimes draw about gripes in their personal life. like the drunk driving one recently

http://editorialcartoonists.com/cartoons/StrooW/2008/StrooW20081212_low.jpg

haha waht txtin isnt the internet

totally thought that was from the onion till i didnt see dude in the corner

"computers don't show Matlock smart guy" lol

http://content.imagesocket.com/images/swillmore_31e44.gif

"Let's suck face and listen to rap music."

Nice to see that youngster slang hasn't been updated since they made fun of it in On Golden Pond.

Ha, i just noticed that 'Today's Teen' always has drooping baggy ass jeans

You'd the adult fans of these comics these days would be more afraid about their possibly gay son wearing those skinny jeans. Except in the Kelly cartoons, of course.

Convoluted metaphors! Getcher convoluted metaphors here! Get 'em while they're extra twisted! Half-off all overused copy-pastings!

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http://www.creators.com/comics/37/28094_thumb.gif

not exactly Bloom County, is it

http://www.creators.com/comics/37/28095_thumb.gif

hang on, I thought the Republican Treasury Dept was happily doleing out cash to everybody

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Remember, you don't need to be anything near accurate with your caricature when depicting either a Saudi OPEC member or random iraqi/iranian/afghani-type to assist in that day's strawmanning: just draw any old towel-headed mohemmaden. I mean, they all look the same, right?

ARABS DON'T HAVE EYES, KINGFISH. GOD.

Gore is too thin there.

http://www.theonion.com/content/files/images/cartoon_2_11_08.jpg

^^ just notice the dude on the left is 'young kelly'

lmao this one is like a kelly cartoon
http://jewishworldreview.com/strips/mallard/2000/MFT31217.jpg

Trouble with DBD is it's so manifestly lame that you have to dig really hard to find something worth commenting on.

also not enough fan service.

dickchin strikes again!

http://www.jewishworldreview.com/strips/mallard/2000/MFT20081222.jpg

Too drunk to finish a strip on time? Just grab an 'evergreen' from 15+ years ago, should be good enough.

http://www.jewishworldreview.com/strips/mallard/2000/MFT20081220.jpg

I FUCKING HATE THAT MY KID CAN'T RANT ABOUT THE FUCKING TOWELHEADS IN CLASS!

THIS THIS THAT SUPRESSES HATE SPEECH IS SO FUCKING STUPID, IT MAKES ME MAD AS A MEXICAN!

*this thing

Tinsley's so mad that he's fucking up his caps lock sentences