itt blogs instruct you how to be a man

I feel you, Dan, and agree but (oh god I'm sorry to go here) given the ~context~ in which that type of suggestion is presented, I don't feel too compelled to rescue the bits that could, if de-gendered and pulled out of context, serve as helpful hints for being a good person.

The whole thing is crowdsourced, right? I think the context is all over the place tbh.

I mean, despite appearances I'm not overly interested in defending these things (lol), it's just that the mocking seems to go beyond actual batshit things to stuff that I'm pretty sure most people on this thread do all the time.

^^ oops i forgot blockquotes are all italicized. the word playful was italicized in the original quote

xps

i heard that it was so that the person walking on the street side would shield his companion from stuff kicked up by cars and carriages

The proverbial splash of the puddle, as it were.

With double doors, open the first, but not the second. When there is a door, and then an entryway airlock area, and then another door, open the outside door, allow the woman to step inside the airlock, and then for the second door, do as indicated above and simply help the woman open the door as she .... (continues)

lol gbx.

Also taken to gendered extremes, even casual kindness gets ridic and counterproductive, ie being the lone woman standing in the back of a crowded elevator only to have the men climb on top of each other like lemmings to clear a path so I can exit first. Like, my fragile ladymind can handle the crushing humiliation of getting off an elevator last.

I also think, again in a work context, casting these politenesses as things men must do for women carries an undercurrent of women being delicate needing a certain amount of coddling and gentle treatment that only men can provide. As a woman working in a very manly area of law, that kind of attitude is poisonous and also makes me want to strangle people.

Note: I am not playful about gender roles.

How To Apologize LIKE A MAN

I mean, despite appearances I'm not overly interested in defending these things (lol), it's just that the mocking seems to go beyond actual batshit things to stuff that I'm pretty sure most people on this thread do all the time.

― low-rent black gangster nicknamed Bootsy (DJP), Thursday, June 9, 2011 1:03 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

i dont walk on the street side when i walk with my gf tho! and (no offense) i would probably roll my eyes at any guy who insisted on doing so

i know a single woman who wears a wedding ring just to eliminate like 80% of this crap

Note: I am not playful about gender roles.

red flag; you have been cited for lack of playfulness

jenny otm

the apology thing seems pretty otm imo

it's not about "insisting"! it's about "offering"

lol my wife would really hate this conversation as it's basically telling her she is a bad woman for being Southern

no one thinks yr wife is bad, just that shes attached to behaviors rooted in anachronistic & outmoded concepts of gender that contribute to discrimination against women

idk tracer i just fail to see what makes an apology "manly"?

well yeah me neither

artofhumanness.com - not taken

With revolving doors, reach out and slow it down so that she can step in. This rule is especially true for older revolving doors that lack the auto-revolving feature that many modern revolving doors have.

iirc debrett's says a man should go in first to push the door, but make a complete revolution so that the lady can exit first. that's pretty stupid, but not as stupid as trying to slow the door down, because if someone is coming the other way - something which is a major feature of revolving doors - they'll get stuck while mr art-of-manliness is dicking around.

With revolving doors, reach out and slow it down so that she can step in. This rule is especially true for older revolving doors that lack the auto-revolving feature that many modern revolving doors have.

what in the hell

"risk breaking your damn fingers and grind the flow of people to a halt, because a woman is around"

yes see, this makes no sense ergo I get mocking it

i don't understand opening a door for a woman after she's already started to open it herself!

xxxxp Actually, chamber pots were usually taken to public privies and dumped.

Jenny so otm

Dan the critiques aren't really about women who are accustomed to courtly behavior!

If I walk through a door and someone (of either gender) is walking behind me, I politely hold the door open. But if I see someone who's way behind me, I won't hold the door for 10 or 15 seconds. But sometimes, there's that in-between walk-behinder who I'd have to hold the door for about 5 seconds, and I'm never sure whether I should hold the door for her, or if it would look odd that I'm holding the door open for so long (of if it will imply I want her to hurry up, etc.)

How many seconds behind you must someone else be before it's acceptable to let the door close behind you?

it depends on how good-looking they are, obviously

if the door would swing fully closed by they time they reached it, then maybe it's ok to not hold the door? leaving the door to swing closed in their face just as they reach it seems like a dick move.

just realizing that Art of Manliness is largely co-authored by a husband & wife team

if i could identify a common theme in much of this "being a gentleman" / "being a man" nonsense, it would be "false nostalgia":

Whenever I’m watching a movie that harkens back to a sepia tinted yesteryear, it isn’t the simpler times I long for so much as a return to the distant days when a man rose alongside the sunrise and was expected to give the daylight his best.

Clothes were sharper, adolescence shorter, and the word man still deserving of the first spot in the word manners. Now it seems as if there is something missing, something stripped from today’s men, besides their buttons and blazers. I peer at photographs of my grandfather in his prime, and ponder the polarity of our worlds. A dozen decades have hurtled by with such speed; it seems they have left our populace with a case of collective amnesia. I look past the creases of my curling photographs, grateful that I can still teach my son what I believe it means to be a man.

The fellows in those old photos look like they had manners, you can practically see them. Even greasy and fatigued, they never went outside without a hat to hold the hair upon their head. It is difficult to believe that they would have left behind their pleases and thank yous. If it were only manners abandoned, things might be easier to explain to my boy, but it isn’t. There is a mindset now missing, an outlook thickened by decades of languor.

i gagged

of course these men had manners. not a drunk, a gambler, a wife-beater, or a degenerate bastard among them! i can tell, you see, because these photographs are old.

Rule #743:

Wear a hat
... to hold the hair
... upon your head

re: "baby"

I call my gf "baby" all the time but in the context of "quit being such a baby" bc babies are the only minority group I am comfortable disparaging

You see, that congressman was RIGHT, babies are the most AT-RISK MINORITY IN AMERICA TODAY.

lol

http://27.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lm96y1iz7I1qj29d6o1_500.jpg

okay no

everything about that is wrong

I think once you start having 216 rules, you might not actually be all that much fun to hang out with.

i think an exception should be made re: Rule 216 for the gentlemen with a stomping fetish

I decided to be playful with gender roles today and when the elevator arrived at our floor and the two dudes who were right in front of the doors stepped back and away from the doors so I could enter first, even though I was farther away and they were there first, I just stood there. We had a standoff until the doors started to shut and I caved and got on because the elevators in our building are super slow and I was really hungry.

In conclusion, feminism is dead.

Yeh, how the hell is sticking to old-fashioned gender roles "playful"? Being "playful" with gender roles is Madonna wearing a suit and tie.

I thought the bend-over boyfriend trend was the end game of "playful with gender roles"

Is that some new doll?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bend_Over_Boyfriend

people call it wordplay when somebody mispronounces something in a song

people r dumb

i think the being "playful with gender" sentiment is just a shading on the "humorless feminist" stereotype?

he hit me and it felt like a playful