itt blogs instruct you how to be a man

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Jesus

aka best bum of the o_O's (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 9 June 2011 16:19 (3 years ago) Permalink

that one i feel like i know actual people who secretly believe something along those lines

horseshoe, Thursday, 9 June 2011 16:20 (3 years ago) Permalink

We are given a choice everyday – do our job and love our family – both takes time.

bzzzzt skrsssh crash

40% chill and 100% negative (Tracer Hand), Thursday, 9 June 2011 16:21 (3 years ago) Permalink

We are given a choice everyday – do our job and love our family – both are soul-destroying wastes of time, amirite fellas.

goole, Thursday, 9 June 2011 16:23 (3 years ago) Permalink

TS: "boobs or butts it doesn't matter" vs "We are given a choice everyday – do our job and love our family – both takes time."

low-rent black gangster nicknamed Bootsy (DJP), Thursday, 9 June 2011 16:23 (3 years ago) Permalink

we are given a choice everyday -- boobs or butts -- doesn't matter

burberry kush (elmo argonaut), Thursday, 9 June 2011 16:24 (3 years ago) Permalink

^^^ OTM

low-rent black gangster nicknamed Bootsy (DJP), Thursday, 9 June 2011 16:24 (3 years ago) Permalink

As skewed and fucked up as these are, can one at least make the argument that on some crazy level, there is at least an attempt to, y'know, be nice to ladies and treat them right (vs. being a blatant misogynist and etc)? Even if it is a totally batshit and bad way to do it?

cheese wiz khalifa (Stevie D(eux)), Thursday, 9 June 2011 16:27 (3 years ago) Permalink

I mean tbh some of these are sorta OTM

cheese wiz khalifa (Stevie D(eux)), Thursday, 9 June 2011 16:27 (3 years ago) Permalink

no. no you can't.

aka best bum of the o_O's (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 9 June 2011 16:28 (3 years ago) Permalink

boobs or butts -- both takes time

burberry kush (elmo argonaut), Thursday, 9 June 2011 16:29 (3 years ago) Permalink

I see what you're saying and I sort of agree, but at the same time I can't help thinking

As skewed and fucked up as slavery is, can one at least make the argument that on some crazy level, there is at least an attempt to, y'know, be nice to slaves and treat them right (vs. being a blatant racist and etc)? Even if it is a totally batshit and bad way to do it?

40% chill and 100% negative (Tracer Hand), Thursday, 9 June 2011 16:29 (3 years ago) Permalink

"the way to get exactly what you want from women is to intimidate them, be demanding, trick them, whatever"
"no no, the way to get exactly what you want from women is to be a magical prince who twirls them around"

hmm

goole, Thursday, 9 June 2011 16:30 (3 years ago) Permalink

you could in theory, sure, but it would still manage to be insulting and patronizing to everyone imo. at least the "treat 'em like shit in order to get laid" or whatever school is sort of straightforward in it's grossness

dell (del), Thursday, 9 June 2011 16:32 (3 years ago) Permalink

ha, so what goole said

dell (del), Thursday, 9 June 2011 16:33 (3 years ago) Permalink

yes but upthread people were scoffing at things like "walk on the side closest to traffic" which is kind of o_O

low-rent black gangster nicknamed Bootsy (DJP), Thursday, 9 June 2011 16:34 (3 years ago) Permalink

oh ok. i have no problem with that stuff

dell (del), Thursday, 9 June 2011 16:35 (3 years ago) Permalink

I think it's a lot easier to dismiss this kind of crap as mostly harmless or inconsequential if you've never been on the receiving end of advice like this.

I mean, I recently, as in the last six months, heard a judge scold a male attorney for arguing with his female opposing counsel because "She's to pretty to argue with." So these stereotypes exist, and are harmful, and while we can be all "LOL joeks" about them, there is a sincere audience for this and pretty much anything that reinforces this thinking is bad. Even if there are women who like to be picked up and twirled around or some of these things boil down to "don't be a dick."

Like, this kind of thinking isn't constrained to relationships. You get this idea beat into your head hat underneath it all, every woman wants to be treated like a very dumb child and that bleeds out into the workplace and then I, who have worked hard to cultivate relationships with people who see me as an individual with valuable opinions, get ignored at work because whatever I'm saying, I really just want a man to step in and relieve me of the burden of thinking so much.

tl;dr: this is not theoretical and the real life results of this shit is damaging.

phantoms from a world gone by speak again the immortal tale: (Jenny), Thursday, 9 June 2011 16:36 (3 years ago) Permalink

xpost

i think part of my problem with the blogxamples upthread is the italic font makes them much more glurgey and self-important than need be

dell (del), Thursday, 9 June 2011 16:37 (3 years ago) Permalink

nah i think most of us on this thread totally agree with that Jenny. the only humour is in how egregious and o_O this shit is.

aka best bum of the o_O's (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 9 June 2011 16:38 (3 years ago) Permalink

oh god yeah del i was gonna say before the fonts on all of these drip with evil

aka best bum of the o_O's (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 9 June 2011 16:38 (3 years ago) Permalink

I agree with that, Jenny; in fact, IMO the real definition of being a gentleman is "treat a woman the way she wants to be treated".

However, there are certain things I do which I will maintain until the day I die which are wholly innocuous such as holding doors open for people (not just women) which I do because I was taught it was the polite thing to do; encountering a thread where that type of behavior is lumped in with "pat her on the head and treat her like a child and maybe she'll fuck you" dismissals basically just makes me think most of my peer group is fucking rude. I guess if you want me to let a door close on you so you can prove that you can open it, knock yourself out (not on the door) but my default reaction is going to always be "I am going to take 3 seconds to hold this door for the next person" and there isn't anything nefarious behind it.

low-rent black gangster nicknamed Bootsy (DJP), Thursday, 9 June 2011 16:41 (3 years ago) Permalink

yes but upthread people were scoffing at things like "walk on the side closest to traffic" which is kind of o_O

strangely, when my grandmother instructed me in this piece of etiquette she explained the reasoning for it like so: when people used to empty chamber pots out of second story windows, the person closest to the street was the one more likely to be rained on with excreta :(

burberry kush (elmo argonaut), Thursday, 9 June 2011 16:42 (3 years ago) Permalink

the physics of that explanation elude me tbh

40% chill and 100% negative (Tracer Hand), Thursday, 9 June 2011 16:44 (3 years ago) Permalink

i've heard that too.

Dan i hold doors open for people and offer my seat on the bus to somebody who looks like they need it and whatever else but that's not done on a gender basis either

aka best bum of the o_O's (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 9 June 2011 16:44 (3 years ago) Permalink

Trace Tudor houses used to have upper floors that overhung the lower so whoever was furthest from the road was sheltered to an extent

aka best bum of the o_O's (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 9 June 2011 16:45 (3 years ago) Permalink

definitely never let a woman defecate on your pumpkins

Latham Green, Thursday, 9 June 2011 16:45 (3 years ago) Permalink

now you tell me

brad whitford, witchfynder general (underrated aerosmith bootlegs I have owned), Thursday, 9 June 2011 16:47 (3 years ago) Permalink

well i guess the assumption would be that the chamber pots contents were flung towards the street? idk, my nan was big on manners but not so big on physics xp

burberry kush (elmo argonaut), Thursday, 9 June 2011 16:47 (3 years ago) Permalink

Tracer, in medieval cities, the building walls on the ground story had to be set back a certain amount to leave room for traffic, but in the absence of sensible building codes, people would overhang their second stories out over the street to gain more floor-space...sometimes leading to second-story windows that were so close to their across-the-street neighbors that people could pass things from hand to hand. Presumably these structures or types of structures persisted for a while until they burned down in some great fire or other and were rebuilt along saner lines as cities got better at that kind of thing.

So in this explanation, the person walking on the inside is actually UNDER the overhang and therefore sheltered from waste from above.

xxxp Oh DAMN. What I get for being tl;dr

Back up the lesbian canoe (Laurel), Thursday, 9 June 2011 16:48 (3 years ago) Permalink

Oh yeah, my father-in-law who is huge on the PROPER ETIQUETTE OF ALL THINGS ALWAYS, constantly chides me on visits if I walk on the non-street side of my wife.

the fey bloggers are onto the zagat tweets (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Thursday, 9 June 2011 16:49 (3 years ago) Permalink

I feel you, Dan, and agree but (oh god I'm sorry to go here) given the ~context~ in which that type of suggestion is presented, I don't feel too compelled to rescue the bits that could, if de-gendered and pulled out of context, serve as helpful hints for being a good person.

I mean, advice on how to be friendly that doesn't require the reader to separate what's solid from what's sexist bullshit exists.

phantoms from a world gone by speak again the immortal tale: (Jenny), Thursday, 9 June 2011 16:51 (3 years ago) Permalink

the proper technique is to carve the punklin FIRST

Latham Green, Thursday, 9 June 2011 16:51 (3 years ago) Permalink

btw Jenny you are one of my favorite posters

cop a cute abdomen (gbx), Thursday, 9 June 2011 16:57 (3 years ago) Permalink

i almost can't believe you're a woman, tbh!

cop a cute abdomen (gbx), Thursday, 9 June 2011 16:58 (3 years ago) Permalink

(ok sorry)

cop a cute abdomen (gbx), Thursday, 9 June 2011 16:58 (3 years ago) Permalink

detailed advice about opening doors for women: http://artofmanliness.com/2011/06/08/opening-door-for-woman/

burberry kush (elmo argonaut), Thursday, 9 June 2011 16:59 (3 years ago) Permalink

includes this little tidbit:

There are some women who are offended by it because they think it implies the inferior status of women–that women are too weak to open doors for themselves. Kate thinks that if you’re dating a woman who takes umbrage at having the door opened for her, that’s a red flag, because it signals that she does not understand that a woman can be smart and independent while still being playful about gender roles.

original emphasis btw

burberry kush (elmo argonaut), Thursday, 9 June 2011 17:00 (3 years ago) Permalink

i heard that it was so that the person walking on the street side would shield his companion from stuff kicked up by cars and carriages

☂ (max), Thursday, 9 June 2011 17:02 (3 years ago) Permalink

I feel you, Dan, and agree but (oh god I'm sorry to go here) given the ~context~ in which that type of suggestion is presented, I don't feel too compelled to rescue the bits that could, if de-gendered and pulled out of context, serve as helpful hints for being a good person.

The whole thing is crowdsourced, right? I think the context is all over the place tbh.

low-rent black gangster nicknamed Bootsy (DJP), Thursday, 9 June 2011 17:02 (3 years ago) Permalink

I mean, despite appearances I'm not overly interested in defending these things (lol), it's just that the mocking seems to go beyond actual batshit things to stuff that I'm pretty sure most people on this thread do all the time.

low-rent black gangster nicknamed Bootsy (DJP), Thursday, 9 June 2011 17:03 (3 years ago) Permalink

^^ oops i forgot blockquotes are all italicized. the word playful was italicized in the original quote

burberry kush (elmo argonaut), Thursday, 9 June 2011 17:04 (3 years ago) Permalink

xps

burberry kush (elmo argonaut), Thursday, 9 June 2011 17:04 (3 years ago) Permalink

i heard that it was so that the person walking on the street side would shield his companion from stuff kicked up by cars and carriages

The proverbial splash of the puddle, as it were.

jaymc, Thursday, 9 June 2011 17:04 (3 years ago) Permalink

With double doors, open the first, but not the second. When there is a door, and then an entryway airlock area, and then another door, open the outside door, allow the woman to step inside the airlock, and then for the second door, do as indicated above and simply help the woman open the door as she .... (continues)

40% chill and 100% negative (Tracer Hand), Thursday, 9 June 2011 17:05 (3 years ago) Permalink

lol gbx.

Also taken to gendered extremes, even casual kindness gets ridic and counterproductive, ie being the lone woman standing in the back of a crowded elevator only to have the men climb on top of each other like lemmings to clear a path so I can exit first. Like, my fragile ladymind can handle the crushing humiliation of getting off an elevator last.

I also think, again in a work context, casting these politenesses as things men must do for women carries an undercurrent of women being delicate needing a certain amount of coddling and gentle treatment that only men can provide. As a woman working in a very manly area of law, that kind of attitude is poisonous and also makes me want to strangle people.

Note: I am not playful about gender roles.

phantoms from a world gone by speak again the immortal tale: (Jenny), Thursday, 9 June 2011 17:05 (3 years ago) Permalink

How To Apologize LIKE A MAN

burberry kush (elmo argonaut), Thursday, 9 June 2011 17:06 (3 years ago) Permalink

I mean, despite appearances I'm not overly interested in defending these things (lol), it's just that the mocking seems to go beyond actual batshit things to stuff that I'm pretty sure most people on this thread do all the time.

― low-rent black gangster nicknamed Bootsy (DJP), Thursday, June 9, 2011 1:03 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

i dont walk on the street side when i walk with my gf tho! and (no offense) i would probably roll my eyes at any guy who insisted on doing so

☂ (max), Thursday, 9 June 2011 17:06 (3 years ago) Permalink

i know a single woman who wears a wedding ring just to eliminate like 80% of this crap

40% chill and 100% negative (Tracer Hand), Thursday, 9 June 2011 17:07 (3 years ago) Permalink

Note: I am not playful about gender roles.

red flag; you have been cited for lack of playfulness

burberry kush (elmo argonaut), Thursday, 9 June 2011 17:07 (3 years ago) Permalink


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