(and i suppose in this way men's mags have finally caught up to women's mags)
xpost
― 40% chill and 100% negative (Tracer Hand), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 17:03 (twelve years ago) link
It's p much a race to the bottom, tbh.
― Back up the lesbian canoe (Laurel), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 17:05 (twelve years ago) link
how to leave a room is even more hilarious than I thought it would be
― low-rent black gangster nicknamed Bootsy (DJP), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 17:09 (twelve years ago) link
is it a choose your own adventure
― puff puff post (uh oh I'm having a fantasy), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 17:09 (twelve years ago) link
2. Stand up. When they feel it’s time to leave, most folks start to squirm in their seat and say things like, “Weeelll…. it’s getting late.” Then they just keep on sitting on their duffs looking awkwardly at their watch. Don’t dilly dally. If you’re ready to leave, then show that you are. Standing up shows you’re committed to leaving.Now, don’t be abrupt about it. That’s just as awkward as squirming in your seat and looking side-to-side for a means to escape. Stand-up smoothly and confidently. While you’re standing, simply say, “Well I must be leaving.” Never give an excuse for why you have to leave. An excuse can make your hostess feel unimportant and force you to sheepishly explain yourself all the way to the door.If you want to be particularly suave about your transition from sitting to standing, try this trick. When you’re ready to leave, wait for a pause in the conversation and start a short story. Make it an engrossing, entertaining story. You want to leave them laughing. As you tell the story, start standing up. You can even start putting on your coat and hat as you spin your yarn. Walk next to your host when you reach the story’s climax. Give a quick wink to the group, and…3. Hold out your hand.
Now, don’t be abrupt about it. That’s just as awkward as squirming in your seat and looking side-to-side for a means to escape. Stand-up smoothly and confidently. While you’re standing, simply say, “Well I must be leaving.” Never give an excuse for why you have to leave. An excuse can make your hostess feel unimportant and force you to sheepishly explain yourself all the way to the door.
If you want to be particularly suave about your transition from sitting to standing, try this trick. When you’re ready to leave, wait for a pause in the conversation and start a short story. Make it an engrossing, entertaining story. You want to leave them laughing. As you tell the story, start standing up. You can even start putting on your coat and hat as you spin your yarn. Walk next to your host when you reach the story’s climax. Give a quick wink to the group, and…
3. Hold out your hand.
― low-rent black gangster nicknamed Bootsy (DJP), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 17:11 (twelve years ago) link
No. 214 : "Do not touch the hiney unless you have earned her trust"― Latham Green, Wednesday, June 8, 2011 1:39 PM (3 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
misread this as the whiney and wondered if area51 had visited the untranny valley in the interim
― princess timtam (cozen), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 17:15 (twelve years ago) link
fwiw i feel really bad for the kid whose dad wrote all those fucking rules for
― burberry kush (elmo argonaut), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 17:23 (twelve years ago) link
316. Don’t stare directly into a dog’s eyes.
― burberry kush (elmo argonaut), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 17:25 (twelve years ago) link
unless you have peanut butter on your nads.
― Bert Macklin, F.B.I. (thebingo), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 17:29 (twelve years ago) link
why is everyone so bossy about this shit, is what i want to know
― burberry kush (elmo argonaut), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 17:41 (twelve years ago) link
xp nuts on your nuts
― got a whole lotta gloves (snoball), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 17:43 (twelve years ago) link
i like the dad one...maybe cuz im a dad.
― Bert Macklin, F.B.I. (thebingo), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 17:47 (twelve years ago) link
http://27.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_llqug66eTM1qjnt7yo1_500.jpg
this just confuses me. real men don't carry change??
― burberry kush (elmo argonaut), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 20:05 (twelve years ago) link
how are you supposed to carry change except with an effeminate little-girl beaded change purse in the shape of chococat's head? i ask u
― A B C, Wednesday, 8 June 2011 20:08 (twelve years ago) link
I thknk probably actually do the opposite of every hence suggested
― Latham Green, Wednesday, 8 June 2011 20:10 (twelve years ago) link
http://d30opm7hsgivgh.cloudfront.net/upload/22858893_oZxOI8gB_c.jpg
yeah no, don't do that.
― burberry kush (elmo argonaut), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 20:17 (twelve years ago) link
The "dime" thing -- is that about the PUA rating system? Being a ten? I'm so confused.
― Back up the lesbian canoe (Laurel), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 20:18 (twelve years ago) link
http://blackbroadcasting.com/7/wp-content/upLoads/2010/06/macho-men_hic.jpg
― Latham Green, Wednesday, 8 June 2011 20:21 (twelve years ago) link
yea dime = a ten
so remember that while "confidence is sexy" you should never have that much self-esteem
― burberry kush (elmo argonaut), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 20:22 (twelve years ago) link
um, that is the exact opposite of what that piece of advice is incoherently trying to say...?
― low-rent black gangster nicknamed Bootsy (DJP), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 20:23 (twelve years ago) link
by the same person / people, apparently:
Problems and Advices (sic)
― burberry kush (elmo argonaut), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 20:23 (twelve years ago) link
ha dan i swear i'm not trying to misinterpret these things i just apparently have serious trouble understanding
― burberry kush (elmo argonaut), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 20:25 (twelve years ago) link
i mean, who uses coins anyway? fags, that's who!
― burberry kush (elmo argonaut), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 20:27 (twelve years ago) link
guys everyone knows that you keep coins in a jar at home so that, if you're like me, you can turn them in once a year and make $$$
ps i made $160 last week from stupid gay coins, eat it losers!!!
― cop a cute abdomen (gbx), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 20:28 (twelve years ago) link
the "men don't carry change" thing doesn't really make sense, and isn't really a thing, it's just a dumb play on "dime"
― goole, Wednesday, 8 June 2011 20:28 (twelve years ago) link
anyway, am i wrong in detecting some race-y type crap in that one?
― goole, Wednesday, 8 June 2011 20:29 (twelve years ago) link
"DO not have pillow fights with her unless she wants to"
― Latham Green, Wednesday, 8 June 2011 20:30 (twelve years ago) link
i dunno if i've learned anything today except for "crowdsourcing on tumblr is a horrible thing"
― burberry kush (elmo argonaut), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 20:31 (twelve years ago) link
http://30.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_llj3rnn7j91qj29d6o1_500.jpg
My head just exploded.
― DSMOS has arrived (kenan), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 20:32 (twelve years ago) link
http://27.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ll0zpivILZ1qj29d6o1_500.jpg
A cop will tell you in a half a second that someone who always looks you directly in the eye is lying to you.
― DSMOS has arrived (kenan), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 20:35 (twelve years ago) link
stare her down, bro
― burberry kush (elmo argonaut), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 20:38 (twelve years ago) link
Maybe a compromise would be eye contact/staring at boobs.
― отдых в Крыму! (Pleasant Plains), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 20:41 (twelve years ago) link
Her boobs, of course, to clarify.
http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lkxfd5ghMo1qj29d6o1_500.jpg
this is just the worst advice. i know several women who would be fucking appalled that some twee blog-reading asshole in a bowtie would just pick them up & spin them around. some women don't like being tossed about!
― burberry kush (elmo argonaut), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 20:47 (twelve years ago) link
yeah but a fair amount of cop wisdom is essentially handed-down stuff that's not actually true. "someone who [exhibits x behavior] is lying to you" = the same sort of shitty reasoning that informs the stuff we're talking about here.
― brad whitford, witchfynder general (underrated aerosmith bootlegs I have owned), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 20:47 (twelve years ago) link
"... she'll love it"
*shudders*
someone who stares you right in the nose, however- watch that fucker
― ♪♫ hey there lamp post, feelin' whiney ♪♫ (darraghmac), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 20:49 (twelve years ago) link
http://images.businessweek.com/ss/07/04/0430_negotiating/image/eye_contact.jpg
― Pleasant Plains, Wednesday, 8 June 2011 20:51 (twelve years ago) link
a fair amount of cop wisdom is essentially handed-down stuff that's not actually true.
The reasoning behind that one, though, I believe. It's because the perceived wisdom is that liars are shifty and never look you in the eye, so people who are actively trying to tell lies will always look you right in the eye, thus overcompensating for what is baloney to begin with.
― DSMOS has arrived (kenan), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 20:54 (twelve years ago) link
http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lkwqy2MaAj1qj29d6o1_500.jpg
"yes, my precious darling, cry your little heart out. yes, just like that... it feels so good..."
― burberry kush (elmo argonaut), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 20:56 (twelve years ago) link
copycat tumblr: http://etiquetteforagentleman.tumblr.com/
― burberry kush (elmo argonaut), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 21:01 (twelve years ago) link
elmo you are KILLING it itt
kenan, interestingly I was just reading a book that claims that people don't do ANY one thing when they're lying. Also that human beings, even ones in law enforcement and related pursuits, are TERRIBLE at telling when someone is lying.
― Back up the lesbian canoe (Laurel), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 21:01 (twelve years ago) link
Apparently some people are naturally good at telling when someone is lying, and some aren't, and no one can explain why. (How many of those people are cops is beyond me.) It's like the way dogs can smell cancer. I'll look for a link.
― DSMOS has arrived (kenan), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 21:06 (twelve years ago) link
xposts and since liars who have heard this new piece of wisdom will make sure *not* to meet your gaze, cops can be assured that the non-eye-lookers are, after all and as originally suspected, the liars. Until the liars catch up to that one - then the paradigm will shift once more.
― boxall, Wednesday, 8 June 2011 21:07 (twelve years ago) link
my response to all of these blogs is basically "valerie solanas OTM"
― creme de cassie (donna rouge), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 21:08 (twelve years ago) link
aha but if you believe these gentleman rules, women are infallible lie detectors and can find anything out, so you should never lie to them. they can smell lies like dogs smell cancer.
― burberry kush (elmo argonaut), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 21:08 (twelve years ago) link
This increasingly reminds me of the "I'm one of the few men in the city with nothing wrong with him" answer machine message guy.
― got a whole lotta gloves (snoball), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 21:09 (twelve years ago) link
aha but if you believe these gentleman rules, women are infallible lie detectors and can find anything out
The overriding theme of most of these little advices is that women are a mysterious "other," instead of just other people.
― DSMOS has arrived (kenan), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 21:11 (twelve years ago) link
Not to state too much of the obvious or anything.
― DSMOS has arrived (kenan), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 21:14 (twelve years ago) link
About the Author:
http://imgur.com/FWIhv
― rockapads, Wednesday, 8 June 2011 21:26 (twelve years ago) link