itt blogs instruct you how to be a man

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IDIOT. ARE YOU GETTING THIS, IDIOT? OMG WHAT AN IDIOT.

lol xp

blueski, Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:10 (4 years ago) Permalink

Elmo that's why I think that the author is being facetious. It's just too ridiculous.

\(^o\) (/o^)/ (ENBB), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:11 (4 years ago) Permalink

if this is a joke it's actually hilarious

but it isn't a joke.

MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T BE LIVING HERE!! (Local Garda), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:11 (4 years ago) Permalink

That last one Local Garda posted is so so creepy.

Matt DC, Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:11 (4 years ago) Permalink

i can assure you that no matter the intent, this shit gets reblogged in total sincerity. i can't go on tumblr to look at menswear blogs without one of these bits of fucked up advice popping up on my dashboard.

burberry kush (elmo argonaut), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:11 (4 years ago) Permalink

no. 200: "let her know there's a private world that you and her share that is chock-full of acrimony and bitterness"

djp i really don't have a problem with promoting courtesy, respect, civility, discretion, & other 'gentlemanly' virtues, whatever, but a lot of this 'advice' is just weighed down with so much gender insecurity and total cluelessness.

All I'm saying is that the tone you were seeing in the initial ones you posted seemed like they were reaching for the worst possible interpretation; out of context from some of the later ones, I don't think they are terrible pieces of advice, but taken as a whole I totally agree with you.

low-rent black gangster nicknamed Bootsy (DJP), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:12 (4 years ago) Permalink

blueski, Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:12 (4 years ago) Permalink

MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T BE LIVING HERE!! (Local Garda), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:12 (4 years ago) Permalink

Advice from a jaded bitter dude there.

Matt DC, Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:12 (4 years ago) Permalink

I think Noel G and Scholesy need to submit a few entries.

blueski, Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:13 (4 years ago) Permalink

finally the way my ex used to bite her lip during non-commital discussions of the future explained

MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T BE LIVING HERE!! (Local Garda), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:14 (4 years ago) Permalink

!!!!!

Matt DC, Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:14 (4 years ago) Permalink

braggin'

blueski, Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:14 (4 years ago) Permalink

#74 actually works, btw

low-rent black gangster nicknamed Bootsy (DJP), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:15 (4 years ago) Permalink

let's face it

MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T BE LIVING HERE!! (Local Garda), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:15 (4 years ago) Permalink

Go on. Be that guy.

Matt DC, Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:16 (4 years ago) Permalink

author obv think all women are incapable of recognising good music from bad

blueski, Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:16 (4 years ago) Permalink

hahahahahahahahahahaha oh I would love to see someone terrible at music try #134 on ANY of my musical friends

low-rent black gangster nicknamed Bootsy (DJP), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:17 (4 years ago) Permalink

if you imagine these as written by a paedophile many make a more sinister form of sense.

MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T BE LIVING HERE!! (Local Garda), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:17 (4 years ago) Permalink

gtforia estfufan (unregistered), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:18 (4 years ago) Permalink

"i've just been to the doctors, it's extremely bad ne"

"SHUT UP DARLING!"

MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T BE LIVING HERE!! (Local Garda), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:18 (4 years ago) Permalink

i can assure you that no matter the intent, this shit gets reblogged in total sincerity. i can't go on tumblr to look at menswear blogs without one of these bits of fucked up advice popping up on my dashboard.

― burberry kush (elmo argonaut), Wednesday, June 8, 2011 10:11 AM (5 minutes ago) Bookmark

OK if that's true than that's completely fucked up.

\(^o\) (/o^)/ (ENBB), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:18 (4 years ago) Permalink

"Write a song for her. Even if it's shit you'll be kneee deep in clunge"

The Boy Who Can Go Inside The TV (dog latin), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:18 (4 years ago) Permalink

braggin'

― blueski, Wednesday, June 8, 2011 10:14 AM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark

LOL

\(^o\) (/o^)/ (ENBB), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:19 (4 years ago) Permalink

CLUNGE!?

ewwwwww

\(^o\) (/o^)/ (ENBB), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:19 (4 years ago) Permalink

Not quite sure what this one means in all honesty.

Matt DC, Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:19 (4 years ago) Permalink

x-post I think that only gash might be worse euphemism.

\(^o\) (/o^)/ (ENBB), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:20 (4 years ago) Permalink

Yeah, 34. What does it even mean?

\(^o\) (/o^)/ (ENBB), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:20 (4 years ago) Permalink

If a girl admits that she likes _____, know that it took every ounce of courage in her to say that.

27 Dresses, 13 Assassins (Eazy), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:20 (4 years ago) Permalink

haha dan i was kinda o_0 at the gentlemanly wisdom of "if you give her sperm she'll give you a baby" i mean

burberry kush (elmo argonaut), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:21 (4 years ago) Permalink

Str8 rapey this one.

Matt DC, Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:21 (4 years ago) Permalink

ledge, Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:21 (4 years ago) Permalink

submitted by Garu G

blueski, Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:21 (4 years ago) Permalink

This must be a guerilla viral for the new Inbetweeners series, surely?

The Boy Who Can Go Inside The TV (dog latin), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:21 (4 years ago) Permalink

my mind is blown dude. rewriting the rulebook!

MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T BE LIVING HERE!! (Local Garda), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:21 (4 years ago) Permalink

#34 is "it's about the personality"

haha dan i was kinda o_0 at the gentlemanly wisdom of "if you give her sperm she'll give you a baby" i mean

well obv that is ridiculous and not necessarily true, but that's not really the important part of the advice, which is "don't be a dick to her"

low-rent black gangster nicknamed Bootsy (DJP), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:22 (4 years ago) Permalink

are there any actually non-crazy bits of advice here?

The Boy Who Can Go Inside The TV (dog latin), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:22 (4 years ago) Permalink

a couple but not many

\(^o\) (/o^)/ (ENBB), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:23 (4 years ago) Permalink

She will be aroused by the increased chance of you being attacked or run over.

blueski, Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:24 (4 years ago) Permalink

ahahahahahahahahaha

\(^o\) (/o^)/ (ENBB), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:24 (4 years ago) Permalink

78 is strange

"Never aggressively roar at her to question whether she should be living in your town"

hmmm...weird, anyone shed any light??

MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T BE LIVING HERE!! (Local Garda), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:24 (4 years ago) Permalink

Latham Green, Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:25 (4 years ago) Permalink

the good grammer one is sort of odd coming from someone who is responsible for the sentence "boobs or butts doesn't matter". also "bro's"

thomp, Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:26 (4 years ago) Permalink

grammer, yes

thomp, Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:26 (4 years ago) Permalink

we have noticed a few people sending in messages regarding the similarity between

http://therulesofagentleman.tumblr.com/

&

http://etiquetteforagentleman.tumblr.com/

For all we know, we started this blog before them and theirs was made recently

For all we know!

ledge, Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:27 (4 years ago) Permalink

78 is strange

"Never aggressively roar at her to question whether she should be living in your town"

hmmm...weird, anyone shed any light??

― MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T BE LIVING HERE!! (Local Garda), Wednesday, June 8, 2011 10:24 AM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark

OMG

I died.

\(^o\) (/o^)/ (ENBB), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:27 (4 years ago) Permalink

eh dan i kinda read that first piece of advice as more "if you call her out on anything she will transform into a wretched nagging harpy."

burberry kush (elmo argonaut), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:28 (4 years ago) Permalink

^^^ like my wife

Bert Macklin, F.B.I. (thebingo), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:29 (4 years ago) Permalink

otm that cold sore won't heal itself!

blueski, Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:29 (4 years ago) Permalink

28. the modern man collects beads of sweat in a jar and then flicks them at poorly behaving children in the street, one at a time.
29. the modern man pays his mother a surprise visit every once in a while to take her out to dinner.
30. the modern man is a psychotic ball of rage turned inside out during waking hours, but contemplative and curious during sleep.
31. the modern man completes his taxes early.

1997 ball boy (Karl Malone), Thursday, 1 October 2015 16:31 (4 months ago) Permalink

this guy is clearly a) sending up this genre, b) speaking sorta mordantly, sorta proudly about his sorta unmanly married w/kids life, but also c) unlikeable

goole, Thursday, 1 October 2015 16:31 (4 months ago) Permalink

32. WAAHHHHAAAAAAHWHOOOAAAAAAAAAA
33. thoughtful advice
34. wwwhoooaoaaaaa

1997 ball boy (Karl Malone), Thursday, 1 October 2015 16:31 (4 months ago) Permalink

i do complete my taxes early...

Meta Forksclove-Liebeskind (forksclovetofu), Thursday, 1 October 2015 18:19 (4 months ago) Permalink

the modern man takes his trash out Wednesday night for Thursday morning pick up

rap is dad (it's a boy!), Thursday, 1 October 2015 18:32 (4 months ago) Permalink

the modern man is boring as fuck

Meta Forksclove-Liebeskind (forksclovetofu), Thursday, 1 October 2015 18:32 (4 months ago) Permalink

but is modern man just a man?

F♯ A♯ (∞), Thursday, 1 October 2015 19:14 (4 months ago) Permalink

Q are we not modern

jimmy falloff (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Thursday, 1 October 2015 19:18 (4 months ago) Permalink

F♯ A♯ (∞), Thursday, 1 October 2015 19:23 (4 months ago) Permalink

I can't believe the Peter Pan page is still live.

I Am Curious (Dolezal) (DJP), Thursday, 1 October 2015 19:32 (4 months ago) Permalink

Thing is, "chopper" is not even the right "wrong" word to use for a helicopter. Professionally, I am sometimes in contact with real military manly-men, who call them "helos." Ultimate manliness comes from knowing the specific type, of course - Blackhawk, Apache, Huey.

Calling a helo a chopper reveals you to be a wussy-ass pansy-boy who got his information about war and the military from watching MASH. Calling it a helicopter reveals you to be a prissy-ass nerd who gets his information from a dictionary.

I fail by all measures, as I can claim neither military manliness nor this weird funhouse-mirror NYT version of modern post-hipster menschiness.

(Although I do make sure everybody's electronic devices are charging before I go to bed. Guilty! If I don't, there will be a cranky 4-year-old up in my grill at 5 AM whining that he can't watch Bob the Builder or play Clumsy Ninja; then it becomes incumbent on me to be just as entertaining as the Internet. Which I am not.)

forbidden fruitarian (Ye Mad Puffin), Friday, 2 October 2015 15:19 (4 months ago) Permalink

uh I learned about it from films and obviously in my life I often have occasion to yell GET TO THE CHOPPER

μpright mammal (mh), Friday, 2 October 2015 15:27 (4 months ago) Permalink

the one about pinned tweets, wtf. i have about 10 pinned tweets, does that make me a cave man?

jill's got heroin (rip van wanko), Wednesday, 7 October 2015 17:14 (4 months ago) Permalink


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