itt blogs instruct you how to be a man

Message Bookmarked
Bookmark Removed
Not all messages are displayed: show all messages (3082 of them)

IDIOT. ARE YOU GETTING THIS, IDIOT? OMG WHAT AN IDIOT.

lol xp

blueski, Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:10 (five years ago) Permalink

Elmo that's why I think that the author is being facetious. It's just too ridiculous.

\(^o\) (/o^)/ (ENBB), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:11 (five years ago) Permalink

if this is a joke it's actually hilarious

but it isn't a joke.

MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T BE LIVING HERE!! (Local Garda), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:11 (five years ago) Permalink

That last one Local Garda posted is so so creepy.

Matt DC, Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:11 (five years ago) Permalink

i can assure you that no matter the intent, this shit gets reblogged in total sincerity. i can't go on tumblr to look at menswear blogs without one of these bits of fucked up advice popping up on my dashboard.

burberry kush (elmo argonaut), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:11 (five years ago) Permalink

no. 200: "let her know there's a private world that you and her share that is chock-full of acrimony and bitterness"

djp i really don't have a problem with promoting courtesy, respect, civility, discretion, & other 'gentlemanly' virtues, whatever, but a lot of this 'advice' is just weighed down with so much gender insecurity and total cluelessness.

All I'm saying is that the tone you were seeing in the initial ones you posted seemed like they were reaching for the worst possible interpretation; out of context from some of the later ones, I don't think they are terrible pieces of advice, but taken as a whole I totally agree with you.

low-rent black gangster nicknamed Bootsy (DJP), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:12 (five years ago) Permalink

blueski, Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:12 (five years ago) Permalink

MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T BE LIVING HERE!! (Local Garda), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:12 (five years ago) Permalink

Advice from a jaded bitter dude there.

Matt DC, Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:12 (five years ago) Permalink

I think Noel G and Scholesy need to submit a few entries.

blueski, Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:13 (five years ago) Permalink

finally the way my ex used to bite her lip during non-commital discussions of the future explained

MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T BE LIVING HERE!! (Local Garda), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:14 (five years ago) Permalink

!!!!!

Matt DC, Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:14 (five years ago) Permalink

braggin'

blueski, Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:14 (five years ago) Permalink

#74 actually works, btw

low-rent black gangster nicknamed Bootsy (DJP), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:15 (five years ago) Permalink

let's face it

MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T BE LIVING HERE!! (Local Garda), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:15 (five years ago) Permalink

Go on. Be that guy.

Matt DC, Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:16 (five years ago) Permalink

author obv think all women are incapable of recognising good music from bad

blueski, Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:16 (five years ago) Permalink

hahahahahahahahahahaha oh I would love to see someone terrible at music try #134 on ANY of my musical friends

low-rent black gangster nicknamed Bootsy (DJP), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:17 (five years ago) Permalink

if you imagine these as written by a paedophile many make a more sinister form of sense.

MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T BE LIVING HERE!! (Local Garda), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:17 (five years ago) Permalink

gtforia estfufan (unregistered), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:18 (five years ago) Permalink

"i've just been to the doctors, it's extremely bad ne"

"SHUT UP DARLING!"

MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T BE LIVING HERE!! (Local Garda), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:18 (five years ago) Permalink

i can assure you that no matter the intent, this shit gets reblogged in total sincerity. i can't go on tumblr to look at menswear blogs without one of these bits of fucked up advice popping up on my dashboard.

― burberry kush (elmo argonaut), Wednesday, June 8, 2011 10:11 AM (5 minutes ago) Bookmark

OK if that's true than that's completely fucked up.

\(^o\) (/o^)/ (ENBB), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:18 (five years ago) Permalink

"Write a song for her. Even if it's shit you'll be kneee deep in clunge"

The Boy Who Can Go Inside The TV (dog latin), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:18 (five years ago) Permalink

braggin'

― blueski, Wednesday, June 8, 2011 10:14 AM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark

LOL

\(^o\) (/o^)/ (ENBB), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:19 (five years ago) Permalink

CLUNGE!?

ewwwwww

\(^o\) (/o^)/ (ENBB), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:19 (five years ago) Permalink

Not quite sure what this one means in all honesty.

Matt DC, Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:19 (five years ago) Permalink

x-post I think that only gash might be worse euphemism.

\(^o\) (/o^)/ (ENBB), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:20 (five years ago) Permalink

Yeah, 34. What does it even mean?

\(^o\) (/o^)/ (ENBB), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:20 (five years ago) Permalink

If a girl admits that she likes _____, know that it took every ounce of courage in her to say that.

27 Dresses, 13 Assassins (Eazy), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:20 (five years ago) Permalink

haha dan i was kinda o_0 at the gentlemanly wisdom of "if you give her sperm she'll give you a baby" i mean

burberry kush (elmo argonaut), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:21 (five years ago) Permalink

Str8 rapey this one.

Matt DC, Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:21 (five years ago) Permalink

ledge, Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:21 (five years ago) Permalink

submitted by Garu G

blueski, Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:21 (five years ago) Permalink

This must be a guerilla viral for the new Inbetweeners series, surely?

The Boy Who Can Go Inside The TV (dog latin), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:21 (five years ago) Permalink

my mind is blown dude. rewriting the rulebook!

MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T BE LIVING HERE!! (Local Garda), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:21 (five years ago) Permalink

#34 is "it's about the personality"

haha dan i was kinda o_0 at the gentlemanly wisdom of "if you give her sperm she'll give you a baby" i mean

well obv that is ridiculous and not necessarily true, but that's not really the important part of the advice, which is "don't be a dick to her"

low-rent black gangster nicknamed Bootsy (DJP), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:22 (five years ago) Permalink

are there any actually non-crazy bits of advice here?

The Boy Who Can Go Inside The TV (dog latin), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:22 (five years ago) Permalink

a couple but not many

\(^o\) (/o^)/ (ENBB), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:23 (five years ago) Permalink

She will be aroused by the increased chance of you being attacked or run over.

blueski, Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:24 (five years ago) Permalink

ahahahahahahahahaha

\(^o\) (/o^)/ (ENBB), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:24 (five years ago) Permalink

78 is strange

"Never aggressively roar at her to question whether she should be living in your town"

hmmm...weird, anyone shed any light??

MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T BE LIVING HERE!! (Local Garda), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:24 (five years ago) Permalink

Latham Green, Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:25 (five years ago) Permalink

the good grammer one is sort of odd coming from someone who is responsible for the sentence "boobs or butts doesn't matter". also "bro's"

thomp, Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:26 (five years ago) Permalink

grammer, yes

thomp, Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:26 (five years ago) Permalink

we have noticed a few people sending in messages regarding the similarity between

http://therulesofagentleman.tumblr.com/

&

http://etiquetteforagentleman.tumblr.com/

For all we know, we started this blog before them and theirs was made recently

For all we know!

ledge, Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:27 (five years ago) Permalink

78 is strange

"Never aggressively roar at her to question whether she should be living in your town"

hmmm...weird, anyone shed any light??

― MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T BE LIVING HERE!! (Local Garda), Wednesday, June 8, 2011 10:24 AM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark

OMG

I died.

\(^o\) (/o^)/ (ENBB), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:27 (five years ago) Permalink

eh dan i kinda read that first piece of advice as more "if you call her out on anything she will transform into a wretched nagging harpy."

burberry kush (elmo argonaut), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:28 (five years ago) Permalink

^^^ like my wife

Bert Macklin, F.B.I. (thebingo), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:29 (five years ago) Permalink

otm that cold sore won't heal itself!

blueski, Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:29 (five years ago) Permalink

righty tighty, lefty loosey

my manliest prayer

denies the existence of dark matter (difficult listening hour), Tuesday, 12 April 2016 18:11 (four months ago) Permalink

unfortunately about half of the things i'm obligated to regularly unscrew seem to be exceptions

denies the existence of dark matter (difficult listening hour), Tuesday, 12 April 2016 18:11 (four months ago) Permalink

it's a good thought exercise to occasionally imagine that you're a screw. if you're getting screwed, it's righty loosey lefty tighty.

Karl Malone, Tuesday, 12 April 2016 18:18 (four months ago) Permalink

TIGHT, bros!

Karl Malone, Tuesday, 12 April 2016 18:18 (four months ago) Permalink

empathy's for girls iirc

denies the existence of dark matter (difficult listening hour), Tuesday, 12 April 2016 18:19 (four months ago) Permalink

*flying chest bump*

Karl Malone, Tuesday, 12 April 2016 18:20 (four months ago) Permalink

there's a paradox at the root of all this: that to sufficiently pursue "manliness" is to more or less call your own manliness into question. I think advertisers get around that by knowingly ironizing masculinity (like those diet dr. pepper commercials) so that your investment/detachment from notions of masculinity can always be subject to a kind of plausible deniability. hence you can enjoy your constructed "manliness" as derived from consumer choices while also being so manly as to know that your manliness is a real inherent quality not affected by consumer choices etc.

Yeah, this is a thing with hegemonic masculinity that's discussed a lot in gender studies and critical men's studies: that one of the basic tenets of the hegemonic ideal masculinity is that a "real man" is self-sufficient, but another equally important tenet is that his masculinity needs to be constantly reaffirmed by other men. This is identified as the driving force beneath such masculine phenomena as bragging about your sexual conquests; it isn't enough to just know you've had sex with such and such beautiful women, other men need to know about it too, so that they can reaffirm your masculinity.

So stereotypical masculinity, which is often thought to be "innate" and "natural", is just as performative as stereotypical femininity, which is sometimes derided as "artificial" because of its use of make-up, clothes and other such signifiers. The masculine performance just requires other kinds of building blocks, but it's no more "natural" than performing any other social position.

I wrote my gender studies thesis on masculinity in Finnish rap music, and I had to think a lot about all this stuff, about how masculinity is performed, particularly with all the sex stories that are as common in the local rap music here as they are in its American counterpart. I included this joke to my text, because I think it's a nice summation of how hegemonic masculinity requires constant affirmation to work:

A cruise ship founders on a reef, and a man just manages to swim some miles and crawl up on a desert island. After recovering from the ordeal, he begins to explore and finds to his great surprise (and pleasure) that the only other survivor of this terrible tragedy is Cindy Crawford.
They build a lean-to and find some food and water. After a few weeks, it becomes clear that help is not on the way, so they start to get intimate. The guy is clearly ecstatic for a couple of weeks, but one morning she awakes to find him moping under a tree.
"What's the matter?" Cindy says: "Is there anything I can do?"
"Well, I am a little shy about asking you," he replies: "But could you take some of that charcoal from the fire and paint a mustache on your face?"
"A mustache? Well... I... I suppose so", and she does it.
"Now, there's just one other thing. Can I call you Bob... like my friend?"
"Bob? Well... if it will make you feel better... all right."
"Great!" he cries, looks at her and says: "Bob! You're never gonna believe who I'm fucking!"

Tuomas, Wednesday, 13 April 2016 11:23 (four months ago) Permalink

Can we get into the cultural connotations of "peacocking" and how that factors into masculinity for a second? Because ryan's explanation doesn't make any sense to me in the context of why African-American men would wear brightly-colored clothing.

Critical men's studies writers like R.W. Connell would say that, at least in larger societies, there isn't just one form of hegemonic masculinity; different social groups and subcultures can have their own variations of "real" masculinity. So in mainstream African-American culture "peacocking" may be a way of performing hegemonic masculinity, even if it isn't so in mainstream WASP culture. Though obviously ideals of masculinity vary not just within different social groups but within history too: in 18th century Europe, for example, something similar to "peacocking" was a part of hegemonic masculinity, at least among the upper classes.

And you don't even necessarily have to belong to the hegemonic group of straight white men to come up with your own pecking order of masculinities. For example, I've noticed that some gay men who identify as bears deride more feminine gay men for being "twinks", i.e. for not being "real" men like they themselves feel they are.

Tuomas, Wednesday, 13 April 2016 11:36 (four months ago) Permalink

guilty lol at that joke

μpright mammal (mh), Wednesday, 13 April 2016 13:40 (four months ago) Permalink

niels, Wednesday, 13 April 2016 13:58 (four months ago) Permalink

50/50 on trading my balls for fully functional wings

tsrobodo, Wednesday, 13 April 2016 14:10 (four months ago) Permalink

never mix whiskey and red bull btw

μpright mammal (mh), Wednesday, 13 April 2016 14:11 (four months ago) Permalink

I mean, in your stomach is fine. But not in a glass. No sir.

μpright mammal (mh), Wednesday, 13 April 2016 14:11 (four months ago) Permalink


You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.