itt blogs instruct you how to be a man

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No.200 - now I know this is a joke. "I love how he only fights with me when nobody's watching. It makes me feel special".

The Boy Who Can Go Inside The TV (dog latin), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:09 (3 years ago) Permalink

wasn't this a rick astley b-side??

MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T BE LIVING HERE!! (Local Garda), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:10 (3 years ago) Permalink

IDIOT. ARE YOU GETTING THIS, IDIOT? OMG WHAT AN IDIOT.

lol xp

blueski, Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:10 (3 years ago) Permalink

Elmo that's why I think that the author is being facetious. It's just too ridiculous.

\(^o\) (/o^)/ (ENBB), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:11 (3 years ago) Permalink

if this is a joke it's actually hilarious

but it isn't a joke.

MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T BE LIVING HERE!! (Local Garda), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:11 (3 years ago) Permalink

That last one Local Garda posted is so so creepy.

Matt DC, Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:11 (3 years ago) Permalink

i can assure you that no matter the intent, this shit gets reblogged in total sincerity. i can't go on tumblr to look at menswear blogs without one of these bits of fucked up advice popping up on my dashboard.

burberry kush (elmo argonaut), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:11 (3 years ago) Permalink

no. 200: "let her know there's a private world that you and her share that is chock-full of acrimony and bitterness"

djp i really don't have a problem with promoting courtesy, respect, civility, discretion, & other 'gentlemanly' virtues, whatever, but a lot of this 'advice' is just weighed down with so much gender insecurity and total cluelessness.

All I'm saying is that the tone you were seeing in the initial ones you posted seemed like they were reaching for the worst possible interpretation; out of context from some of the later ones, I don't think they are terrible pieces of advice, but taken as a whole I totally agree with you.

low-rent black gangster nicknamed Bootsy (DJP), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:12 (3 years ago) Permalink

blueski, Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:12 (3 years ago) Permalink

MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T BE LIVING HERE!! (Local Garda), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:12 (3 years ago) Permalink

Advice from a jaded bitter dude there.

Matt DC, Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:12 (3 years ago) Permalink

I think Noel G and Scholesy need to submit a few entries.

blueski, Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:13 (3 years ago) Permalink

finally the way my ex used to bite her lip during non-commital discussions of the future explained

MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T BE LIVING HERE!! (Local Garda), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:14 (3 years ago) Permalink

!!!!!

Matt DC, Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:14 (3 years ago) Permalink

braggin'

blueski, Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:14 (3 years ago) Permalink

#74 actually works, btw

low-rent black gangster nicknamed Bootsy (DJP), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:15 (3 years ago) Permalink

let's face it

MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T BE LIVING HERE!! (Local Garda), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:15 (3 years ago) Permalink

Go on. Be that guy.

Matt DC, Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:16 (3 years ago) Permalink

author obv think all women are incapable of recognising good music from bad

blueski, Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:16 (3 years ago) Permalink

hahahahahahahahahahaha oh I would love to see someone terrible at music try #134 on ANY of my musical friends

low-rent black gangster nicknamed Bootsy (DJP), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:17 (3 years ago) Permalink

if you imagine these as written by a paedophile many make a more sinister form of sense.

MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T BE LIVING HERE!! (Local Garda), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:17 (3 years ago) Permalink

gtforia estfufan (unregistered), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:18 (3 years ago) Permalink

"i've just been to the doctors, it's extremely bad ne"

"SHUT UP DARLING!"

MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T BE LIVING HERE!! (Local Garda), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:18 (3 years ago) Permalink

i can assure you that no matter the intent, this shit gets reblogged in total sincerity. i can't go on tumblr to look at menswear blogs without one of these bits of fucked up advice popping up on my dashboard.

― burberry kush (elmo argonaut), Wednesday, June 8, 2011 10:11 AM (5 minutes ago) Bookmark

OK if that's true than that's completely fucked up.

\(^o\) (/o^)/ (ENBB), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:18 (3 years ago) Permalink

"Write a song for her. Even if it's shit you'll be kneee deep in clunge"

The Boy Who Can Go Inside The TV (dog latin), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:18 (3 years ago) Permalink

braggin'

― blueski, Wednesday, June 8, 2011 10:14 AM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark

LOL

\(^o\) (/o^)/ (ENBB), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:19 (3 years ago) Permalink

CLUNGE!?

ewwwwww

\(^o\) (/o^)/ (ENBB), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:19 (3 years ago) Permalink

Not quite sure what this one means in all honesty.

Matt DC, Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:19 (3 years ago) Permalink

x-post I think that only gash might be worse euphemism.

\(^o\) (/o^)/ (ENBB), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:20 (3 years ago) Permalink

Yeah, 34. What does it even mean?

\(^o\) (/o^)/ (ENBB), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:20 (3 years ago) Permalink

If a girl admits that she likes _____, know that it took every ounce of courage in her to say that.

27 Dresses, 13 Assassins (Eazy), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:20 (3 years ago) Permalink

haha dan i was kinda o_0 at the gentlemanly wisdom of "if you give her sperm she'll give you a baby" i mean

burberry kush (elmo argonaut), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:21 (3 years ago) Permalink

Str8 rapey this one.

Matt DC, Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:21 (3 years ago) Permalink

ledge, Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:21 (3 years ago) Permalink

submitted by Garu G

blueski, Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:21 (3 years ago) Permalink

This must be a guerilla viral for the new Inbetweeners series, surely?

The Boy Who Can Go Inside The TV (dog latin), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:21 (3 years ago) Permalink

my mind is blown dude. rewriting the rulebook!

MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T BE LIVING HERE!! (Local Garda), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:21 (3 years ago) Permalink

#34 is "it's about the personality"

haha dan i was kinda o_0 at the gentlemanly wisdom of "if you give her sperm she'll give you a baby" i mean

well obv that is ridiculous and not necessarily true, but that's not really the important part of the advice, which is "don't be a dick to her"

low-rent black gangster nicknamed Bootsy (DJP), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:22 (3 years ago) Permalink

are there any actually non-crazy bits of advice here?

The Boy Who Can Go Inside The TV (dog latin), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:22 (3 years ago) Permalink

a couple but not many

\(^o\) (/o^)/ (ENBB), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:23 (3 years ago) Permalink

She will be aroused by the increased chance of you being attacked or run over.

blueski, Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:24 (3 years ago) Permalink

ahahahahahahahahaha

\(^o\) (/o^)/ (ENBB), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:24 (3 years ago) Permalink

78 is strange

"Never aggressively roar at her to question whether she should be living in your town"

hmmm...weird, anyone shed any light??

MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T BE LIVING HERE!! (Local Garda), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:24 (3 years ago) Permalink

Latham Green, Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:25 (3 years ago) Permalink

the good grammer one is sort of odd coming from someone who is responsible for the sentence "boobs or butts doesn't matter". also "bro's"

thomp, Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:26 (3 years ago) Permalink

grammer, yes

thomp, Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:26 (3 years ago) Permalink

we have noticed a few people sending in messages regarding the similarity between

http://therulesofagentleman.tumblr.com/

&

http://etiquetteforagentleman.tumblr.com/

For all we know, we started this blog before them and theirs was made recently

For all we know!

ledge, Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:27 (3 years ago) Permalink

78 is strange

"Never aggressively roar at her to question whether she should be living in your town"

hmmm...weird, anyone shed any light??

― MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T BE LIVING HERE!! (Local Garda), Wednesday, June 8, 2011 10:24 AM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark

OMG

I died.

\(^o\) (/o^)/ (ENBB), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:27 (3 years ago) Permalink

eh dan i kinda read that first piece of advice as more "if you call her out on anything she will transform into a wretched nagging harpy."

burberry kush (elmo argonaut), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:28 (3 years ago) Permalink

a "no-cunnilingus policy" does sound weird to me, too. for either partner to have a "no-oral policy" is kind of fucked up imho

marcos, Friday, 18 April 2014 20:38 (7 months ago) Permalink

I dated a couple women in college that never let me perform on them, but I think that's a whole different issue.

djenter the dragon? (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Friday, 18 April 2014 20:40 (7 months ago) Permalink

I mean I guess I shouldn't sound so normative about this, there are gay men who aren't into anal sex and stuff, so by extension maybe there are straight people who aren't into oral. but it just seems like a basic component of sexual fun is missing here. TMI, but the few times I did have sex with women I went down on them and it was fun!

the tune was space, Friday, 18 April 2014 20:44 (7 months ago) Permalink

there is no normal

How dare you tarnish the reputation of Turturro's yodel (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 18 April 2014 20:47 (7 months ago) Permalink

you're right, mileage may vary, I shouldn't hold up some standard as if everyone's sexual experience needs to tick off items A through G from the list or its incomplete

it just seems like there's a lot of stigma and mystification attached to women's orgasms in this culture and so I'd hope that more people would try out more stuff to figure out what they want, and I would hope that people would feel like they could talk about what they want, but that's where gender standards make it maybe harder to do that. but I'm speculating here . . .

the tune was space, Friday, 18 April 2014 20:52 (7 months ago) Permalink

based entirely on anecdotal evidence it's my experience that cunnilingus is pretty culturally pervasive in 2014. i'm sure it's not unanimous.

Mordy , Friday, 18 April 2014 20:57 (7 months ago) Permalink

yeah I'd agree w that. same could be said for fellatio too probably.

How dare you tarnish the reputation of Turturro's yodel (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 18 April 2014 20:59 (7 months ago) Permalink

I had never heard of a no-cunnilingus policy until I saw that ep of the Sopranos where Junior beats up his girlfriend for telling all the mafia wives about it.

how's life, Friday, 18 April 2014 21:48 (7 months ago) Permalink

There are definitely cultural pockets, often patriarchal, where it has some stigma or association (I remember this article making the rounds a few years back: http://newblackman.blogspot.com/2012/08/lil-wayne-and-new-politics-of.html). Also, women feeling self-conscious about their bodies is very much a thing, at least among some women I've dated or have spoken with about the topic.

There's never been a commercial industry telling men that their genitals are dirty and need to be flushed out or scented or w/e, either.

a strange man (mh), Saturday, 19 April 2014 02:22 (7 months ago) Permalink

what I'm saying is, this really is just another aspect of the lysol douche thread

a strange man (mh), Saturday, 19 April 2014 02:22 (7 months ago) Permalink

presumably the 21st century equality we will reach here will be axe douche for men

erry red flag (f. hazel), Saturday, 19 April 2014 04:36 (7 months ago) Permalink

A he-man batch o magazine ads featuring dudes self conscious about the smell o their sacks

Sufjan Cougar Mellencamp (Sufjan Grafton), Saturday, 19 April 2014 04:39 (7 months ago) Permalink

2 months pass...
1 month passes...
1 month passes...

, Sunday, 14 September 2014 22:55 (2 months ago) Permalink


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