itt blogs instruct you how to be a man

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what if you like girls that swear??

MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T BE LIVING HERE!! (Local Garda), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:07 (1 year ago) Permalink

xpost "I should really be writing you passive-aggressive emails right now, but pffff...."

The Boy Who Can Go Inside The TV (dog latin), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:07 (1 year ago) Permalink

first rule of fight club is never talk about fight club

MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T BE LIVING HERE!! (Local Garda), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:08 (1 year ago) Permalink

out of context, a lot of these read as practical advice for the parents of 3-year-old girls.

gtforia estfufan (unregistered), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:08 (1 year ago) Permalink

Yeah I think this all has to be a not very funny joke.

\(^o\) (/o^)/ (ENBB), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:08 (1 year ago) Permalink

lol bedtime story

\(^o\) (/o^)/ (ENBB), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:08 (1 year ago) Permalink

djp i really don't have a problem with promoting courtesy, respect, civility, discretion, & other 'gentlemanly' virtues, whatever, but a lot of this 'advice' is just weighed down with so much gender insecurity and total cluelessness.

burberry kush (elmo argonaut), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:08 (1 year ago) Permalink

strangely hurt and jilted tone to this one.

MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T BE LIVING HERE!! (Local Garda), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:09 (1 year ago) Permalink

No.200 - now I know this is a joke. "I love how he only fights with me when nobody's watching. It makes me feel special".

The Boy Who Can Go Inside The TV (dog latin), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:09 (1 year ago) Permalink

wasn't this a rick astley b-side??

MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T BE LIVING HERE!! (Local Garda), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:10 (1 year ago) Permalink

IDIOT. ARE YOU GETTING THIS, IDIOT? OMG WHAT AN IDIOT.

lol xp

blueski, Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:10 (1 year ago) Permalink

Elmo that's why I think that the author is being facetious. It's just too ridiculous.

\(^o\) (/o^)/ (ENBB), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:11 (1 year ago) Permalink

if this is a joke it's actually hilarious

but it isn't a joke.

MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T BE LIVING HERE!! (Local Garda), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:11 (1 year ago) Permalink

That last one Local Garda posted is so so creepy.

Matt DC, Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:11 (1 year ago) Permalink

i can assure you that no matter the intent, this shit gets reblogged in total sincerity. i can't go on tumblr to look at menswear blogs without one of these bits of fucked up advice popping up on my dashboard.

burberry kush (elmo argonaut), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:11 (1 year ago) Permalink

no. 200: "let her know there's a private world that you and her share that is chock-full of acrimony and bitterness"

djp i really don't have a problem with promoting courtesy, respect, civility, discretion, & other 'gentlemanly' virtues, whatever, but a lot of this 'advice' is just weighed down with so much gender insecurity and total cluelessness.

All I'm saying is that the tone you were seeing in the initial ones you posted seemed like they were reaching for the worst possible interpretation; out of context from some of the later ones, I don't think they are terrible pieces of advice, but taken as a whole I totally agree with you.

low-rent black gangster nicknamed Bootsy (DJP), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:12 (1 year ago) Permalink

blueski, Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:12 (1 year ago) Permalink

MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T BE LIVING HERE!! (Local Garda), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:12 (1 year ago) Permalink

Advice from a jaded bitter dude there.

Matt DC, Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:12 (1 year ago) Permalink

I think Noel G and Scholesy need to submit a few entries.

blueski, Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:13 (1 year ago) Permalink

finally the way my ex used to bite her lip during non-commital discussions of the future explained

MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T BE LIVING HERE!! (Local Garda), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:14 (1 year ago) Permalink

!!!!!

Matt DC, Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:14 (1 year ago) Permalink

braggin'

blueski, Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:14 (1 year ago) Permalink

#74 actually works, btw

low-rent black gangster nicknamed Bootsy (DJP), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:15 (1 year ago) Permalink

let's face it

MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T BE LIVING HERE!! (Local Garda), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:15 (1 year ago) Permalink

Go on. Be that guy.

Matt DC, Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:16 (1 year ago) Permalink

author obv think all women are incapable of recognising good music from bad

blueski, Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:16 (1 year ago) Permalink

hahahahahahahahahahaha oh I would love to see someone terrible at music try #134 on ANY of my musical friends

low-rent black gangster nicknamed Bootsy (DJP), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:17 (1 year ago) Permalink

if you imagine these as written by a paedophile many make a more sinister form of sense.

MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T BE LIVING HERE!! (Local Garda), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:17 (1 year ago) Permalink

gtforia estfufan (unregistered), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:18 (1 year ago) Permalink

"i've just been to the doctors, it's extremely bad ne"

"SHUT UP DARLING!"

MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T BE LIVING HERE!! (Local Garda), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:18 (1 year ago) Permalink

i can assure you that no matter the intent, this shit gets reblogged in total sincerity. i can't go on tumblr to look at menswear blogs without one of these bits of fucked up advice popping up on my dashboard.

― burberry kush (elmo argonaut), Wednesday, June 8, 2011 10:11 AM (5 minutes ago) Bookmark

OK if that's true than that's completely fucked up.

\(^o\) (/o^)/ (ENBB), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:18 (1 year ago) Permalink

"Write a song for her. Even if it's shit you'll be kneee deep in clunge"

The Boy Who Can Go Inside The TV (dog latin), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:18 (1 year ago) Permalink

braggin'

― blueski, Wednesday, June 8, 2011 10:14 AM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark

LOL

\(^o\) (/o^)/ (ENBB), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:19 (1 year ago) Permalink

CLUNGE!?

ewwwwww

\(^o\) (/o^)/ (ENBB), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:19 (1 year ago) Permalink

Not quite sure what this one means in all honesty.

Matt DC, Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:19 (1 year ago) Permalink

x-post I think that only gash might be worse euphemism.

\(^o\) (/o^)/ (ENBB), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:20 (1 year ago) Permalink

Yeah, 34. What does it even mean?

\(^o\) (/o^)/ (ENBB), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:20 (1 year ago) Permalink

If a girl admits that she likes _____, know that it took every ounce of courage in her to say that.

27 Dresses, 13 Assassins (Eazy), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:20 (1 year ago) Permalink

haha dan i was kinda o_0 at the gentlemanly wisdom of "if you give her sperm she'll give you a baby" i mean

burberry kush (elmo argonaut), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:21 (1 year ago) Permalink

Str8 rapey this one.

Matt DC, Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:21 (1 year ago) Permalink

ledge, Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:21 (1 year ago) Permalink

submitted by Garu G

blueski, Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:21 (1 year ago) Permalink

This must be a guerilla viral for the new Inbetweeners series, surely?

The Boy Who Can Go Inside The TV (dog latin), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:21 (1 year ago) Permalink

my mind is blown dude. rewriting the rulebook!

MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T BE LIVING HERE!! (Local Garda), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:21 (1 year ago) Permalink

#34 is "it's about the personality"

haha dan i was kinda o_0 at the gentlemanly wisdom of "if you give her sperm she'll give you a baby" i mean

well obv that is ridiculous and not necessarily true, but that's not really the important part of the advice, which is "don't be a dick to her"

low-rent black gangster nicknamed Bootsy (DJP), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:22 (1 year ago) Permalink

are there any actually non-crazy bits of advice here?

The Boy Who Can Go Inside The TV (dog latin), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:22 (1 year ago) Permalink

a couple but not many

\(^o\) (/o^)/ (ENBB), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:23 (1 year ago) Permalink

She will be aroused by the increased chance of you being attacked or run over.

blueski, Wednesday, 8 June 2011 14:24 (1 year ago) Permalink

>:[

lag∞n, Sunday, 12 May 2013 01:50 (1 week ago) Permalink

Stylish Punctuation
You can learn a lot about someone from their punctuation. A lack of periods announces a poorly organized mind. A properly employed semicolon or dash suggests a subtle dignity. But nothing exudes tackiness like the exclamation point.
The exclamation point is the dullard’s last gasping plea for attention – a 141st character admission that the sentence itself conveys no information worth the fare. It has all the eloquence of a piñata.
Unfortunately, the exclamation point is spreading like venereal disease in a retirement home. It doesn’t even require a fresh host sentence to reproduce. Often I see a whole colony of them huddled together at the end of some meaningless phrase. After all, how does one compete with someone whose having a “great time!” if not by having a “great time!!!”? It’s only a matter of time before exclamation points start appearing in the middle of sentences or even as entire paragraphs unto themselves.
The proliferation of the exclamation point is a symptom of our broader social malady: packaging suffocating product. Grocery stores stock aisle after aisle of empty calories wrapped in slogan-stamped plastic. Universities that used to offer an education now peddle diplomas and spring fling concerts.
Style in clothing suffers from a similar incontinence. Bright colors and baubles are the exclamation points of menswear. In the best of all worlds, they might be used sparingly to indicate intent or mood. But they are cheapened through overuse. Today, after another bumper crop, their price is at an all-time low. We have gone from “I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled” to “Look at my striped shirt!”
The next time you end a sentence with an exclamation point, imagine a period in its place. If your sentence withers, no quantity of exclamation points can save it. The same is true for “statements” in clothing. What if you didn’t wear your skull-and-crossbones tie clip? Does the whole thing look wrong? Then start over. Use punctuation to organize the substance of what you are trying to say, rather than to camouflage the fact that you really have nothing to say at all.

a ridiculous clusterfuck of totally uncool jokers (elmo argonaut), Thursday, 16 May 2013 19:17 (1 week ago) Permalink

in a way that is just a really dumb blog post by some selfregarding ivy undergrad but w/e, i thought it worth noting for its precocious idiocy, it's quite bold

a ridiculous clusterfuck of totally uncool jokers (elmo argonaut), Thursday, 16 May 2013 19:19 (1 week ago) Permalink

christmas candy bar (al leong), Thursday, 16 May 2013 19:21 (1 week ago) Permalink

haha no wait i'm wrong, that's written by some a popular menswear blogger and well regarded styleforum dude, it's much worse than i thought

a ridiculous clusterfuck of totally uncool jokers (elmo argonaut), Thursday, 16 May 2013 19:35 (1 week ago) Permalink

Grocery stores stock aisle after aisle of empty calories wrapped in slogan-stamped plastic. Universities that used to offer an education now peddle diplomas and spring fling concerts.

society is in the gutter

tweeship journey to 51 (mh), Thursday, 16 May 2013 19:36 (1 week ago) Permalink

it used to be a man could wear a single-breasted suit, now these bufoons insist on triple-breasted

tweeship journey to 51 (mh), Thursday, 16 May 2013 19:36 (1 week ago) Permalink

that punctuation advice is such utter rot. i reject it. i reject it in toto.

caek, Thursday, 16 May 2013 19:40 (1 week ago) Permalink

in toto!!!!!!

乒乓, Thursday, 16 May 2013 19:42 (1 week ago) Permalink

the line must be drawn hyah

goole, Thursday, 16 May 2013 19:43 (1 week ago) Permalink

no need to bring judo into this

AMERICA IS ABOUT RESSLING (DJP), Thursday, 16 May 2013 19:45 (1 week ago) Permalink

goole, Thursday, 16 May 2013 19:48 (1 week ago) Permalink

a lack of periods announces that person is a dude, or pregnant, menopausal or otherwise none of yr business.

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 16 May 2013 19:57 (1 week ago) Permalink

'my prose style is damp and full of tangled metaphors. aren't exclamation points just terrible?'

a ridiculous clusterfuck of totally uncool jokers (elmo argonaut), Thursday, 16 May 2013 20:01 (1 week ago) Permalink

men, tell me about these baubles on yr clothing

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 16 May 2013 20:04 (1 week ago) Permalink

What if you didn’t wear your skull-and-crossbones tie clip? Does the whole thing look wrong?

caek, Thursday, 16 May 2013 20:37 (1 week ago) Permalink

well yeah, jeez dude

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 16 May 2013 20:38 (1 week ago) Permalink

I had an entire slate of withering skull-and-crossbones tie clip jokes lined up but then I remembered that I own TWO Glee Club ties

AMERICA IS ABOUT RESSLING (DJP), Thursday, 16 May 2013 20:44 (1 week ago) Permalink

well i think he's implying that a skull-and-crossbones tie clip would be the absolute height of gaucherie

a ridiculous clusterfuck of totally uncool jokers (elmo argonaut), Thursday, 16 May 2013 20:47 (1 week ago) Permalink

he obviously hasn't seen my skull and crossbones suspenders

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 16 May 2013 20:48 (1 week ago) Permalink

ironically, i can instantly tell if my gf is pissed at me when she starts putting periods at the end of her txts

sigourney wiener (diamonddave85), Thursday, 16 May 2013 21:00 (1 week ago) Permalink

I hardly ever see men wearing baubles, unfortunately.

emilys., Saturday, 18 May 2013 21:33 (5 days ago) Permalink


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