"Looks like you don't really appreciate Michael Savage,"
― markers, Friday, 3 June 2011 02:45 (2 years ago) Permalink
crazy in the coconut
― orchestral pygnoeuvres in zee park (contenderizer), Friday, 3 June 2011 03:24 (2 years ago) Permalink
Abbott yr story reminds me of that bit in the Bell Jar where Esther has the arrogant useless shrink who asks her where she went to college and rambles on about how the WACS were stationed there and how pretty they were and then says "well we're done now".
― The man who mistook his life for a FAP (Trayce), Friday, 3 June 2011 07:00 (2 years ago) Permalink
got my first day today...
― Suggest Banter (Local Garda), Friday, 3 June 2011 07:40 (2 years ago) Permalink
cbt was so much more helpful to me than any other therapy i've tried. we used chapters from this book; i keep staring at it in bookstores and forgetting to remind myself to order it cheap from amazon:
― are you are missing whiney (get bent), Friday, 3 June 2011 08:40 (2 years ago) Permalink
― are you are missing whiney (get bent), Friday, 3 June 2011 08:42 (2 years ago) Permalink
xxpost, all the best with it ronan
― NI, Friday, 3 June 2011 10:47 (2 years ago) Permalink
ta for the book link jbr, I might look into that myself.
― The man who mistook his life for a FAP (Trayce), Friday, 3 June 2011 11:02 (2 years ago) Permalink
it was pretty good today, he mostly let me speak, felt like i was jumping from topic to topic but i guess he needs the groundwork. only drawback is i just got six weeks work which starts on 13th and if i change timeslot i have to change counsellor, in the system i'm in, so not sure whether to try and negotiate to have friday afternoons off (and lose half a day's pay) or to just change counselling time straight away and avoid upheaval after it's gotten into more depth...
― Suggest Banter (Local Garda), Friday, 3 June 2011 15:43 (2 years ago) Permalink
funny I just recorded a song this morning called "everyone needs therapy"- hivemind?
― Latham Green, Friday, 3 June 2011 15:45 (2 years ago) Permalink
by the way - I used this and it worked for me
― Latham Green, Friday, 3 June 2011 15:46 (2 years ago) Permalink
The Anxiety and Phobia workbook is really good.
― \(^o\) (/o^)/ (ENBB), Friday, 3 June 2011 15:47 (2 years ago) Permalink
I ordered this:
Pretty sure that I have a problem with people pleasing :/
― hungry man, I don't want pizza (jel --), Friday, 3 June 2011 19:16 (2 years ago) Permalink
ah yes - the "approval addiction"
― Latham Green, Friday, 3 June 2011 19:18 (2 years ago) Permalink
kinda mixed results so far...i guess overall positive. counsellor mostly just lets me yammer on but i asked him to try and provide advice, not really like specific to situations but at least to act as some kind of barometer. he does say some weird sorta hard to grasp stuff, eg i talked about indecision for ages on friday and he said "i want you to hold onto that feeling of not knowing what to do in this sort of situation" and sort of didn't elaborate or stressed the "hold on to it" element. v hard to know what he meant there but i feel largely positive about him so i sort of gave benefit of the doubt.
― MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T BE LIVING HERE!! (Local Garda), Sunday, 12 June 2011 21:57 (2 years ago) Permalink
i want you to hold on to the benefit of that doubt
Was sent for a 'wee chat' with my mum's pyschologist once, i talked about how i couldnt get a girlfriend, i was hopin for some mindtricks or something, but nada. She musta told them i was normal cos i didnt have to go again, i got some girlfriends after that but it was unrelated imo
― ♪♫ hey there lamp post, feelin' whiney ♪♫ (darraghmac), Sunday, 12 June 2011 23:42 (2 years ago) Permalink
i was talking w/a psychologist once who began quoting something from a poem by Jewel, which led me to think that maybe i was not getting my money's worth
― dell (del), Sunday, 12 June 2011 23:47 (2 years ago) Permalink
finally found a way to do this outside of work hours affordably. v strange experience, it really is like on tv. genuinely a few "let's talk about your mother" or whatever.
overall it's good i guess, slightly scary experience in that i have found myself get very upset really suddenly few times, which was like a type of emotional catharsis i've never experienced before, but i guess that's why i'm going.
― I'm going to allow this! (LocalGarda), Monday, 13 February 2012 23:12 (1 year ago) Permalink
glad for you- hadn't you tried it before?
― beware of greeks bearing petrol bombs (darraghmac), Monday, 13 February 2012 23:16 (1 year ago) Permalink
heh like five posts ago
yeah i had to stop cos i got a job and that slot was in the daytime. took until now to get a post-work time... i thought the guy was shit the first two weeks cos he literally said nothing, but now he is started dropping these questions that make you realise or see connections between things, without any heavy handedness about it.
― I'm going to allow this! (LocalGarda), Monday, 13 February 2012 23:21 (1 year ago) Permalink
i would heartily resent that, i think
― beware of greeks bearing petrol bombs (darraghmac), Monday, 13 February 2012 23:22 (1 year ago) Permalink
i found the silence worse, made me think he was all "why the fuck is this guy even here?"
though as i said, it is a bit scary thinking you're okay then seeing sort of unhappiness come out in an uncontrolled way, it's like puking, it does make you think "oh shit" in that way as if you'd noticed some medical prob you never knew you had via a weird physical reaction.
― I'm going to allow this! (LocalGarda), Monday, 13 February 2012 23:24 (1 year ago) Permalink
Do you feel like it's helping you at all? Everyone who's recommended therapy to me haven't changed much at all, even after years of it, so I'm a little skeptical. Feels like I've already made the parents/early life connections to behaviors, world view, etc., but also won't discount checking it out.
― Spectrum, Monday, 13 February 2012 23:29 (1 year ago) Permalink
― beware of greeks bearing petrol bombs (darraghmac), Monday, 13 February 2012 23:33 (1 year ago) Permalink
had three sessions now, so it's too early to say. but i guess it is helping in the sense that i am getting rid of some bad stuff from my past mostly related to being sick. i mean, if it's true that talking about things is good then yes it's definitely helping.
― I'm going to allow this! (LocalGarda), Monday, 13 February 2012 23:35 (1 year ago) Permalink
as in, i'm constantly aware of having a majorly fucked upbringing, but at the same time i'm pretty level and cool with who i am, but the odd time i think 'jeez imagine how awesome i COULD be tho'
― beware of greeks bearing petrol bombs (darraghmac), Monday, 13 February 2012 23:35 (1 year ago) Permalink
― beware of greeks bearing petrol bombs (darraghmac), Monday, 13 February 2012 23:36 (1 year ago) Permalink
Yeah, I imagine there's this extra level you can unlock by going to therapy. I've gotten the most out of just thinking about things and figuring shit out on long walks along rivers and through vast, empty fields, and there doesn't seem like there's much territory left to be mined out of that. Maybe the talking thing's valuable in itself, feels weird to ever mention any early life stuff to people when they ask... mostly because it's just odd in itself, and gets uncomfortable responses. Telling it to someone in a corduroy jacket and wire-frame glasses probably eliminates that.
― Spectrum, Monday, 13 February 2012 23:53 (1 year ago) Permalink
Lol otm xp to d
― just1n3, Monday, 13 February 2012 23:54 (1 year ago) Permalink
i'm not lolling tho i'm ;_;
i wish ppl would realise that when they read my posts.
i'm ;_; goddamit
― beware of greeks bearing petrol bombs (darraghmac), Monday, 13 February 2012 23:59 (1 year ago) Permalink
I took the plunge about a 6 weeks ago, 3 free sessions through employee assistance program.
Had been having weird emotional outbursts, ie crying jags, etc all kind of resulting from conflicts and/or fear of them.
Just talking out where my fears maybe came from, and having her give me some simple tools to adjust my reactions, has already made a huge difference for me.
Right now my plan is to see how I go once I visit home in April, and if shit comes up after that I can go see her again.
I felt v guilty at first, and very awkward about talking about my family to a stranger, but omg just lightening the load was the best feeling, and figuring out more parts of the jigsaw puzzle...I am not much of a personal-problem-talker at all, but I cant recommend it enough, even if it's just a few sessions.
I'm kind of viewing it as taking the car to the mechanic - no shame in getting a tuneup, right? And good to know I have someone to call if/when shit gets real now, instead of shoving it all away all repressed-like
― Janet Snakehole (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 14 February 2012 00:41 (1 year ago) Permalink
why did you (all) select a therapist of the gender you did?
― mookieproof, Tuesday, 14 February 2012 01:05 (1 year ago) Permalink
EAP programs are there for a reason. Glad you took advantage, Veg. I think it might be time for me. I have beat my last round of anxiety attacks, and now I just feel pretty bored overall :/. dunno which is worse really.
well...tbh i don't feel bored when I leave teh house and socialize (which I did a lot this weekend), but it'd be nice to be able to enjoy a relaxing night to myself without feeling flat emotions.
I'd think itw as the meds except I was like this before them. this is just how my brain works. it shuts off and I fake emotions until they come back.
― Bo Jackson Overdrive, Tuesday, 14 February 2012 01:09 (1 year ago) Permalink
i chose a female therapist with the assumption that i would be more comfortable divulging things with a woman. but not sure if this is actually the case.
my therapist doesn't remember half of what we talk about. she recommended me a book yesterday as though she had never recommended it -- but she had, twice! but this time she asked me, "if i recommend you a book, are you going to read it"? so i was like, well why don't you tell me what it is first! (and then i wondered in my head if that's the only book she ever recommends to her patients, and what, does she know the author or something? i told her i was waiting for it in the library queue and she said i should totally buy it)
i think i need a therapist who is less FRIENDLY and trying to be FRIENDLY because it makes her therapeutic pronouncements seem passive aggressive though this could be just me projecting...
― rayuela, Tuesday, 14 February 2012 17:48 (1 year ago) Permalink
or maybe it just maybe makes me not trust her because i feel like she's being fake to me?
is this things other people feel w/their therapists or just me?
― rayuela, Tuesday, 14 February 2012 17:49 (1 year ago) Permalink
I just went with the first therapist they assigned to me, I told them I didnt have a m/f preference.
My therapist turned out to be a woman around my age, a little older...she's been a good fit. I felt like she understood my issues pretty quickly, and always seemed to get to the nut of a problem with just a few questions. I told her way more than I ever expected to
― Janet Snakehole (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 14 February 2012 17:52 (1 year ago) Permalink
Still thinking about checking out some therapy, but these two books helped me out a lot:
I went from perpetually anxious, angry, and emotionally dead ... to the degree where I couldn't stand leaving my apartment or I'd shuck off relationships, to almost never anxious, cool with things, and fairly level headed with some help from those texts. Most of the work comes from introspection and the sheer will to get better no matter how much work or pain's involved. Not being anxious anymore and feeling emotions is the greatest thing in the world after dealing with it from my teens through 20s.
― Spectrum, Wednesday, 15 February 2012 07:00 (1 year ago) Permalink
Was going to fire my therapist today and she therapied me into making another appt.
― rayuela, Saturday, 25 February 2012 00:06 (1 year ago) Permalink
― mookieproof, Saturday, 25 February 2012 00:08 (1 year ago) Permalink
they're good when they want to be
― beware of greek bearer bonds (darraghmac), Saturday, 25 February 2012 03:25 (1 year ago) Permalink
about 10 weeks in now, it's a fucking incredibly hard thing to do i have to say. for 2/3 weeks i felt it was having this huge improvement and probably invested too much in a bounce that could have been to do with anything, then for the last week just been back to feeling fairly bad, with the added sense of questioning more of my perspectives than ever, and the realisation or worry that you know, maybe you can never really be happy. i think so far therapy has made me accept some things that i didn't before, but in the process made me then think "well if i am wrong about this then who knows what else in me could be totally skewed and messed up"
― I'm going to allow this! (LocalGarda), Thursday, 29 March 2012 20:54 (1 year ago) Permalink
so you feel more like it's snowballing your bad feelings, than helping you build on the good?
― Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 29 March 2012 20:56 (1 year ago) Permalink
i think overall it's positive, just i am probably going through a big overhaul, and maybe i am worse off than i thought when i went in. not in terms of being more depressed, just maybe more stuff buried, tangled, etc. it's been pretty confusing cos i am basically trying to unpick a physical prob from a mental one.
― I'm going to allow this! (LocalGarda), Thursday, 29 March 2012 20:58 (1 year ago) Permalink
well make sure you're saying these things to your therapist. the only way they know how to really help is if you do a bit of flight-control from time to time, if talking about certain things is sending you off on a bad tangent, let him/her know, and say you want tools to deal with the bad feelings you're having now, rather than talking about things that are already past, you know, be a little proactive.
but your first time through therapy is definitely weird, I can totally relate to having similar feelings myself, and sort of feeling like you've pulled out all the yarn out of the box but it's all still tangled arrrrggggh now what
― Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 29 March 2012 21:01 (1 year ago) Permalink
^^^ the yarn analogy is spot on
― beanz meanz lulz (snoball), Thursday, 29 March 2012 21:04 (1 year ago) Permalink
I'll drive the yarn analogy into the ground now...
the way I decided to approach it was, okay most of the yarn is going to stay tangled. I'm not using it right now, it's not causing me major problems. I just need to untangle this one ball of yarn that I need to use. As I go, I might find it's tangled with another ball of yarn or two, but I can't worry about all of it. I'm still mostly okay in myself, I'm me, this is who I am. I just need to be able to cope better with these (x) things.
You know? Making it about smaller goals is okay to start out with.
― Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 29 March 2012 21:09 (1 year ago) Permalink
I only spent a few weeks in therapy, and it was mainly because I was having trouble dealing with conflict. My short timeframe allowed my counsellor to really hone in on that, and try to give me some tools to help me with it and unpack where my fear of conflict came from. In the process I dragged up other bigger things along with it. But just being able to feel like I'd tackled this one thing that fed into so many parts of my life, actually made me feel okay about leaving some bigger things unsolved for now. A narrow focus might seem shortsighted, but if you have a lot to deal with, you can only deal with them one at a time. Don't stress yourself out trying to deal with everything, you know?
okay I 'll stop now, I don't want to sound too preachy
― Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 29 March 2012 21:13 (1 year ago) Permalink
I definitely had the same experience - a mixture of prioritisation ("OK what do I need to deal with now so that I don't explode, and what can wait for a bit?") and dividing problems up into smaller goals ("How can I make 'not being angry with everyone all the time' into more manageable sub-goals?").
― beanz meanz lulz (snoball), Thursday, 29 March 2012 21:14 (1 year ago) Permalink
The best thing about therapy is when you have sudden, powerful realizations about past events or particular interpersonal relationships which have colored your thinking or behavior. Things that no amount of bouncing things around in your own head would ever uncover. It can sometimes take a while to get to that point, but it's worth the slog.
― Calvin Coolranch (Deric W. Haircare), Thursday, 29 March 2012 22:17 (1 year ago) Permalink