What one piece of advice would you give your twenty year old self?

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Christ, I've written three different answers to this thread, but they're all too depressing to post.
So: "Remember that Seinfeld episode where George does the opposite of his every instinct. Do that."
That's a bit paradoxical though.

Frankly, I'd prefer telling my 17-yr old self a few things. That guy was the worst.

Øystein, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 11:31 (sixteen years ago) link

So: "Remember that Seinfeld episode where George does the opposite of his every instinct. Do that."

Haha, this sounds about right.

Rockist Scientist, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 11:37 (sixteen years ago) link

Do not under any circumstances borrow (what at the time felt like) loads of money off your parents, so you can take a train down almost the entirety of Germany in pursuit of a girl who's blatantly not in love with you, and will in fact pull someone else right in front of you when you go out clubbing, and then scream "I'm not your girlfriend!" at you in the toilets.

No, don't do that.

(haha I'm DJing at her wedding at the end of June though, so I guess we've all grown as people!)

Also, sign up to a Housing Association waiting list. NOW. I know it doesn't sound at all important, it is. Do it. DO IT.

CharlieNo4, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 11:38 (sixteen years ago) link

"Remember that Seinfeld episode where George does the opposite of his every instinct. Do that."

Weird - I watched this episode about 2 hours ago. "My name is George, I'm unemployed and I live with my parents".

Ned Trifle II, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 11:42 (sixteen years ago) link

My advice to me would be similar to CJ's. Also 'he's not worth it' would be a useful catch-all tip for that time in my life. Sadly.

Archel, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 11:44 (sixteen years ago) link

This thread is strangely depressing. I far prefer the 10 year old self advice thread.

Masonic Boom, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 11:59 (sixteen years ago) link

stay far away from the girl at the bar of a gig you will go to in six years time, staring at you with chocolate eyes and a smile that makes you melt... it will only end in tears.

stevie, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 12:08 (sixteen years ago) link

I'm not sure I'd have a lot of advice for me at 20, other than the "buy a house" kind of stuff. I did get out of an unsuccessful relationship, I did lose a lot of weight, I did make a pretty decent deal out of university life, I didn't get arrested or do anything too ridiculously stupid.

Oh, hang on - "you're about to be dumped, so when you and N1cola D0herty sit among the fireflies and tell each other your deepest thoughts, kiss her - she DID like you that way after all, though if you don't make a move you won't find this out for another 2 years"

Mark C, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 12:11 (sixteen years ago) link

Also: Do NOT sell your Roland Juno-6 to crap metalheads that want to play Zeppelin shit on it. That's gonna be valuable some day.

Masonic Boom, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 12:16 (sixteen years ago) link

This thread is strangely depressing. I far prefer the 10 year old self advice thread.

yes, this one is too soon. I'm still trying to sort out half the mess my 20yo got me into.

Ste, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 12:20 (sixteen years ago) link

sit among the fireflies and tell each other your deepest thoughts

haha INDIE!

thought of another one:

be less of a fucking flake when it comes to letter-writing, and then you won't live to regret never finishing (and thus never posting) that nice letter you started writing to the lovely girl who then too quickly died of cancer.

ugh. maybe 20 was a sucky time after all.

CharlieNo4, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 12:22 (sixteen years ago) link

i can think of so many things i want to say to my 20yo self dammit

blueski, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 12:22 (sixteen years ago) link

not least "e-mail the Pentagon from an internet cafe your info on the terrists"

blueski, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 12:23 (sixteen years ago) link

yes, this one is too soon. I'm still trying to sort out half the mess my 20yo got me into.

-- Ste, Tuesday, May 15, 2007 12:20 PM (2 minutes ago)


For you maybe but some of us could have 30 year old and 40 year old threads as well. Although I think the only thing they would say to me at any rate is that I never listen to my own advice.

Ned Trifle II, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 12:25 (sixteen years ago) link

haha this thread will be useful

Just got offed, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 12:26 (sixteen years ago) link

The fact you've finally met some people who are (much much) better than you are at maths doesn't mean that you're shit and should give up on it altogether.

JimD, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 12:27 (sixteen years ago) link

have more sex.

titchyschneiderMk2, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 12:28 (sixteen years ago) link

live a bit more.

titchyschneiderMk2, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 12:28 (sixteen years ago) link

There's nothing very important that I could say now that I wasn't already aware of at twenty. I knew what I had to do; I just didn't do it.

Eyeball Kicks, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 12:40 (sixteen years ago) link

Buy Yahoo! stocks

Treblekicker, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 12:41 (sixteen years ago) link

Start paying back those student loans. Dropping out of college was a good choice; avoiding those debts is gonna make you miserable.

aimurchie, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 12:43 (sixteen years ago) link

everybody is gonna fuck you over

g-kit, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 12:47 (sixteen years ago) link

when people shit on you and put you down, 90% of the time its because they're envious of you and the things you want to achieve. so don't listen to them.

stevie, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 12:53 (sixteen years ago) link

start fucking revising, like, NOW

Just got offed, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 12:53 (sixteen years ago) link

Oh, Stevie so OTM. Someone told me this when I was 30, but I still didn't listen: If people just dislike you for no apparent reason, it says a lot more about *them* than it does about you. Pay no mind.

Masonic Boom, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 12:56 (sixteen years ago) link

hang in there, dude. just hang in there. it will get better, though it will get worse first.

oh, right - i'm not talking about university, yeah, you might as well ditch that.

oh, and burn that fucking ugly hairy jumper.

emsk, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 12:57 (sixteen years ago) link

Cut your hair, and it is worth paying £40 extra for a pair of glasses that don't make you look like a sex case.

Dom Passantino, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 12:58 (sixteen years ago) link

domaged20.jpg

CharlieNo4, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 12:59 (sixteen years ago) link

Don't get tired of casual relationships and decide to settle down with the one bloke who doesn't seem to be taking you for a ride. He is every bit as nice as he seems but you will get no sex for 5 years.

Zora, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 12:59 (sixteen years ago) link

Someone told me this when I was 30, but I still didn't listen

at 31, its just beginning to sink in

stevie, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 13:28 (sixteen years ago) link

Do a bit more work you idle twat.

chap, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 13:30 (sixteen years ago) link

(says my 28 year old self wasting away the day on the internet)

chap, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 13:32 (sixteen years ago) link

Buy Yahoo! stocks

When I was 20, a friend of mine, who was about 19, talked about getting a loan to buy a bunch of computers and network them together and set people up with access to these new-fangled electronic mail accounts on them and show them how to use them, so they could access the in-ter-net. We didn't laugh at him, but nor did we buy him a shirt and tie and help him get a bank loan. Sigh.

accentmonkey, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 13:33 (sixteen years ago) link

The things you don't deny yourself now will kill you eventually.

kenan, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 13:35 (sixteen years ago) link

Move to the city, right now. No, now.

stet, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 13:37 (sixteen years ago) link

not least "e-mail the Pentagon from an internet cafe your info on the terrists"

HELLO PENTAGONS I AM FROM TEH FUTURE

braveclub, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 13:39 (sixteen years ago) link

haha, Steve brings the practical thinking and saves the world while everyone else is going "don't cry man, it'll be OK I promise"

Michael Philip Philip Philip philip Annoyman, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 13:42 (sixteen years ago) link

I think my one would be "don't say anything at all for another 18 months, it's better to be safe than sorry"

Michael Philip Philip Philip philip Annoyman, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 13:43 (sixteen years ago) link

No, you cannot quit any time.

Fluffy Bear Hearts Rainbows, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 13:44 (sixteen years ago) link

Don't get married, just keep living together. Fuck your families.

Start seeing a psychiatrist NOW. It's all going starshaped in a few years.

Now, while you have fresh, new credit and nearly zero debt, invest in Apple. Then when this thing called Google comes along, buy some of that too.

Ms Misery, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 13:45 (sixteen years ago) link

knock it off with the fucking cigarettes for christ's sake.

chicago kevin, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 13:45 (sixteen years ago) link

Good job having all that sex.

Fluffy Bear Hearts Rainbows, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 13:47 (sixteen years ago) link

haha

Oh another one: DON'T MOVE IN WITH HER, YOU HUMAN WRECK.

kenan, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 13:48 (sixteen years ago) link

when people shit on you and put you down, 90% of the time its because they're envious of you and the things you want to achieve. so don't listen to them.

i realised this - like, properly realised this - a few months ago! hurrah for me

lex pretend, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 13:49 (sixteen years ago) link

* Get a haircut. Your current coif makes you look like Lou Barlow meets Weird Al. And you wonder why girls don't like you?

* Read more books. Do some traveling. Your live doesn't have to revolve around records and only records.

* Get out of the friggin' dorms and lease an apartment.

mike a, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 14:07 (sixteen years ago) link

when people shit on you and put you down, 90% of the time its because they're envious of you and the things you want to achieve. so don't listen to them.

I still need to learn this lesson.

mike a, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 14:07 (sixteen years ago) link

pick up that extra shift waiting tables and buy some property in Oxford, MS.

also, if you've had more than three beers, ride your bike. NO EXCEPTIONS.

will, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 14:08 (sixteen years ago) link

DO JUNIOR YEAR ABROAD.

Seriously, not doing that is the one thing that still kills me from my college years.

mike a, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 14:12 (sixteen years ago) link

Beat the rush. Shave that stupid goatee off NOW.

kenan, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 14:14 (sixteen years ago) link

Your grades actually DO count for something, so quit fucking up.

Hurting 2, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 14:17 (sixteen years ago) link

ride your bike.

emsk, Saturday, 19 May 2007 12:04 (sixteen years ago) link

BIG HOOS aka the steendriver arent you your 20 year old self right now?

ȡ+®, Saturday, 19 May 2007 12:07 (sixteen years ago) link

JUST FUCKING SPLIT UP WITH HER AND STOP BEING A DICK. then go and do a power of shagging.

grimly fiendish, Saturday, 19 May 2007 12:14 (sixteen years ago) link

Yes xpost

BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Saturday, 19 May 2007 12:15 (sixteen years ago) link

There should be a sister thread to this which explains the cryptic advices.

libcrypt, Saturday, 19 May 2007 17:24 (sixteen years ago) link

maybe you really should go to disney world with the rest of your family, instead of, you know, staying inside of that dark house for one month straight, being nocturnal, and listening to this mortal coil all the fucking time.

andi, Saturday, 19 May 2007 18:22 (sixteen years ago) link

Listen to more AC/DC.

kenan, Saturday, 19 May 2007 18:23 (sixteen years ago) link

"GET YOUR ASS TO MARS."

schwantz, Saturday, 19 May 2007 18:30 (sixteen years ago) link

FINISH SCHOOL. Quit being so boy-crazy already. Don't be such a rockist. Also, that stuff your dad says isn't true, so don't let it affect your life in such a manner that you shoot yourself in the foot just to spite him.

Morley Timmons, Saturday, 19 May 2007 19:40 (sixteen years ago) link

Don't let your parents and brother make you feel so guilty. Don't open their letters, don't pick up their phone calls (started at 23 and life=easier x2k).

Abbott, Saturday, 19 May 2007 20:00 (sixteen years ago) link

"sorry, the vikings still suck"

the sir weeze, Saturday, 19 May 2007 20:06 (sixteen years ago) link

that trend you hold on to so hard -- it'll be ass-backwards soon. by the time you catch up, you'll be ass-backwards again.

PappaWheelie V, Saturday, 19 May 2007 21:01 (sixteen years ago) link

"cheer up, little guy"

andi, Saturday, 19 May 2007 21:37 (sixteen years ago) link

also: quit hanging out in the fucking dark so much. switch a light on and fix your sleeping schedule, you bloody goth!

andi, Saturday, 19 May 2007 21:39 (sixteen years ago) link

Poll: Ten Crack Commandments

milo z, Saturday, 19 May 2007 21:40 (sixteen years ago) link

No, the economy will not crash completely, thereby freeing you from your student loan obligation.

lolz i was so sure this would happen too!

bell_labs, Saturday, 19 May 2007 23:26 (sixteen years ago) link

Learn how to start a lawnmower.

Beth Parker, Sunday, 20 May 2007 15:11 (sixteen years ago) link

Stop spending so much time in the pub and go to some classes. You'll be less inclined to drop out of university and spectacularly underachieve. Also, not every band the NME recommends is worth spending your money on. You'll look back at your record collection in ten years time and wish it was better.

ailsa, Sunday, 20 May 2007 15:18 (sixteen years ago) link

seven years pass...

"GET YOUR ASS TO MARS."

― schwantz, Saturday, May 19, 2007 6:30 PM (7 years ago)

lol

local eire man (darraghmac), Friday, 24 October 2014 23:49 (nine years ago) link

Don't worry if you don't feel academically qualified for the majors you want to pursue. Many of your burnout space-case high school friends will end up with successful careers mostly because they picked something and stuck with it.

raccoon shipoopi (how's life), Saturday, 25 October 2014 00:59 (nine years ago) link

seven months pass...

I've thought a lot about what advice Id give my 20 year old self. But there's nothing I'd tell him not to do, because he wouldn't listen to me anyway, and the embarrassing humiliating things I did back then (eventually) made me a better person. Instead I would say this: Achieving extraordinary goals requires that you do a lot of very ordinary things. Don't put off doing these things, because otherwise your future self (me) is going to regret the time you wasted in ways that you can't begin to comprehend or even imagine.

passive-aggressive rageaholic (snoball), Saturday, 6 June 2015 19:23 (eight years ago) link

I'd basically tell myself to quit feeling like the world owed me anything, not to shun people who are trying to be friendly, to not sacrifice the future for the present, and mostly, to move out of my parents' house and never move back in.

I feel like my life rebooted at age 28 and often regret the years I wasted prior to that.

Hammer Smashed Bagels, Saturday, 6 June 2015 20:04 (eight years ago) link

one month passes...

Kill yourself.

emil.y, Wednesday, 8 July 2015 23:27 (eight years ago) link

:(

Evan, Thursday, 9 July 2015 00:50 (eight years ago) link

eight years pass...

god, i've thought about this one a lot. i have these little conversations in my head with 20-year-old me. i don't know what to say to them. some middle-aged transsexual shows up at their doorstep and says "hi, i'm you from the future"? i'm 30-year-old me's worst nightmare, but 20-year-old me... i just got kicked out of school because my oldest brother made death threats from my internet account. i got no idea what the hell is going on with my gender. what the hell do i say to them? "so ok you're a girl, but nobody is going to believe you if you tell them that. hell, _you_ probably don't believe that, nevermind that i'm standing here in front of you right now." and then what? what are they supposed to do? move across the country to portland or seattle, make money doing sex work, live on the streets? find a place to get bootleg estrogen, because god knows nobody would prescribe it _legally_? live my best twink life until i can transition? stay in the midwest but just start wearing dresses and let people treat me like shit? my mom _probably_ wouldn't kick me out of the house if i started wearing dresses. _probably_.

i guess other shit i'd say would be, like. you're weird, but you're not ugly. your hair is really pretty, you should let it grow out. don't bother with a beard. don't bother with benzos, they'll fuck you up. wearing dresses will help you more than taking benzos will, even if you can only do it in private. makeup is hard and don't worry about it if you're bad at it. you might also wanna try taking ADHD meds, it'll help you concentrate. you definitely have ADHD. also autism. sex won't actually fix any of your problems, you don't like it, don't bother with it. don't bother with drugs, either. i know you're hoping they'll give you some great epiphany about your life, well, here i am, i've just given you it, you're a girl. only drug that's gonna do you any good is estrogen. well and the antidepressants and mood stabilizers and shit as well.

i don't know if that's good advice or bad advice. i don't know what my 20 year old self would make of me. i think they'd find me super scary but also super cool. is what i think.

Kate (rushomancy), Tuesday, 5 March 2024 16:00 (one month ago) link


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