God bless the goddamn Onion

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http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/95_96_prayers_finally

I was laughing at this until the very end. That last joke seems unusually mean-spirited for the Onion.

Nathan, Thursday, 18 October 2007 21:42 (5 years ago) Permalink

um, the christopher reeve snipe was hardly cricket.

darraghmac, Thursday, 18 October 2007 21:44 (5 years ago) Permalink

True. I guess that somehow escaped me when I first read it.

Nathan, Thursday, 18 October 2007 21:45 (5 years ago) Permalink

i liked this one because is not jello a foods

[a hrarf = this is my internets link] http://www.theonion.com/content/news/conceptual_terrorists_encase_sears[/a hraf linkthing]

a puppy, Thursday, 18 October 2007 21:48 (5 years ago) Permalink

I have to say, for having webbed toes you are impressively skilled at typing.

Abbott, Thursday, 18 October 2007 21:53 (5 years ago) Permalink

a hrarf!

G00blar, Thursday, 18 October 2007 21:55 (5 years ago) Permalink

I don't get why everybody's blaming the puppy for not being Socialist Realism or somethink.

Noodle Vague, Thursday, 18 October 2007 21:56 (5 years ago) Permalink

I don't even know what that means and I am a hu-man.

Abbott, Thursday, 18 October 2007 21:59 (5 years ago) Permalink

who blames a puppy
i am lerning better, promise
the psyientests are teaching me

a puppy, Thursday, 18 October 2007 22:01 (5 years ago) Permalink

I didn't express myself very clearly.

Anyway, if y'all thought the "95-96 Prayers Backlog" was cold, look what I stumbled across:

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/29919

Noodle Vague, Thursday, 18 October 2007 22:01 (5 years ago) Permalink

okay that is awesome

HI DERE, Thursday, 18 October 2007 22:02 (5 years ago) Permalink

the onion's had a hardon for superman for awhile - http://www.theonion.com/content/node/30382

balls, Thursday, 18 October 2007 22:14 (5 years ago) Permalink

whose balls are you, i am lookinf for mine

a puppy, Thursday, 18 October 2007 22:18 (5 years ago) Permalink

balls, Thursday, 18 October 2007 22:22 (5 years ago) Permalink

i kinda forgot abt the onion but this was posted on the quantum mechanic thread and it is funnee
http://www.theonion.com/content/news/scientists_ask_congress_to_fund_50

rrrobyn, Friday, 19 October 2007 03:02 (5 years ago) Permalink

2 weeks pass...

They've really been on a roll with the cartoons - they're probably my favorite thing in the Onion now.

Hurting 2, Friday, 2 November 2007 03:24 (5 years ago) Permalink

Hurting 2, Friday, 2 November 2007 03:25 (5 years ago) Permalink

One of my more flattering caricatures.

Ned Raggett, Friday, 2 November 2007 03:26 (5 years ago) Permalink

Ha.

I also really love that every so often there will be an editorial cartoon about the cartoonist's ex-wife.

Hurting 2, Friday, 2 November 2007 03:29 (5 years ago) Permalink

lol

Curt1s Stephens, Friday, 2 November 2007 04:02 (5 years ago) Permalink

I read the last word wrong and thought this was gonna be about

James Redd and the Blecchs, Friday, 2 November 2007 04:55 (5 years ago) Permalink

Frogman Henry, Friday, 2 November 2007 09:02 (5 years ago) Permalink


who's that on the right? Jabba the Hutt?

Heave Ho, Friday, 2 November 2007 10:41 (5 years ago) Permalink

2 months pass...

Billy Dods, Wednesday, 16 January 2008 16:29 (5 years ago) Permalink

o shi i hadn't seen these cartoons before -- awesome.

That one guy that hit it and quit it, Wednesday, 16 January 2008 16:36 (5 years ago) Permalink

"After my baby didn't babble or gesture after 12 months, I hoped the cause was autism. I've since learned he's dead."

That mong guy that's shit, Wednesday, 16 January 2008 16:47 (5 years ago) Permalink

Haha OMG:

First Indian-American Governor Elected

With his swearing in as governor of Louisiana on Monday, Republican Bobby Jindal became the first Indian-American to head a U.S. state. What do you think?

Dave Piedmont,
Systems Analyst

"His parents must be so close to being proud."

nabisco, Thursday, 17 January 2008 01:01 (5 years ago) Permalink

1 month passes...

Steven Seagal is...

Kerm, Wednesday, 5 March 2008 22:09 (5 years ago) Permalink

http://www.theonion.com/content/opinion/act_now_to_take_advantage_of_my

story of my life

and what, Wednesday, 5 March 2008 22:45 (5 years ago) Permalink

lol "Skeepers"

Jordan, Wednesday, 5 March 2008 22:47 (5 years ago) Permalink

haha deja vu

me: http://www.theonion.com/content/opinion/act_now_to_take_advantage_of_my
Sent at 4:31 PM on Wednesday
Jordan: haha
lol "skeepers"

deej, Wednesday, 5 March 2008 22:50 (5 years ago) Permalink

: /

Bodrick III, Wednesday, 5 March 2008 22:56 (5 years ago) Permalink

that's totally the lowered-standards look

... anonymous sex with me that I'll begin to regret it as it's happening?
oh double-edged zing

rrrobyn, Wednesday, 5 March 2008 23:00 (5 years ago) Permalink

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/75350

Dr Morbius, Friday, 7 March 2008 21:38 (5 years ago) Permalink

Haha, i worked at the Skeepers in Ann Arbor from '98 - '00.

kingfish, Saturday, 8 March 2008 03:22 (5 years ago) Permalink

That one guy that hit it and quit it, Saturday, 15 March 2008 13:13 (5 years ago) Permalink

"Microwave Quietly Encouraged"

calstars, Saturday, 15 March 2008 13:42 (5 years ago) Permalink

the onion magazine + editorial cartoons are my fav shit now

and what, Saturday, 15 March 2008 14:13 (5 years ago) Permalink

Kelly is a genius.

Bodrick III, Saturday, 15 March 2008 14:37 (5 years ago) Permalink

http://www.theonion.com/content/opinion/you_know_whats_stupid

One of my fave pieces for a long time, great concept.

Bodrick III, Saturday, 15 March 2008 14:39 (5 years ago) Permalink

Bob can go fuck himself for those shoes/boots.

wanko ergo sum, Saturday, 15 March 2008 17:18 (5 years ago) Permalink

wow that link is one of the least funny Onion pieces I've read. Diff'rent strokes.

wanko ergo sum, Saturday, 15 March 2008 17:25 (5 years ago) Permalink

I think it's funny.

chap, Saturday, 15 March 2008 17:26 (5 years ago) Permalink

that craig kilborn bit they did a few months ago (which i conveniently cannot find a link to right now) was one of the best things they've ever done

the sir weeze, Saturday, 15 March 2008 18:18 (5 years ago) Permalink

wow that link is one of the least funny Onion pieces I've read. Diff'rent strokes.

-- wanko ergo sum, Saturday, 15 March 2008 17:25

Think it's because this character = almost everybody I work with.

They have trouble understanding complex, intellectual ideas like "Maybe not every problem with the UK today can be blamed on asylum seekers."

Bodrick III, Saturday, 15 March 2008 20:50 (5 years ago) Permalink

I think it's funny.

yeah, i like it too. I usually enjoy their "explicitly deconstructing thoughtless everyday habits" bits.

kingfish, Saturday, 15 March 2008 21:39 (5 years ago) Permalink

2 weeks pass...

Haha this joke would appear to be entirely coincidental, and yet ...

COLUMN: Smoove B signs off -- "Girl, there comes a time when even a strong, well-dressed man must admit defeat."

AMERICAN VOICES TOPIC: "Farmers Planting Less Corn"

nabisco, Wednesday, 2 April 2008 20:09 (5 years ago) Permalink

i'm dying here.

s1ocki, Wednesday, 2 April 2008 20:22 (5 years ago) Permalink

It's also a take on the old "this is the woman I knew I'd spend the rest of my life with" thing.

nickn, Wednesday, 8 May 2013 00:46 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

umm... duh. but to matt, i don't think the media treated their relationship like any other relationship so that satire is sort of irrelevant. like, if anything i was uncomfortable with the critiques of rihanna's decision to get back with brown because they seemed to come more from a place of victim blaming rather than concern ("can you believe it??" etc). in general i just wish that celebrity gossip wasn't a thing

Treeship, Wednesday, 8 May 2013 00:51 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

although i get that this situation was an important instance to talk about the problem of domestic violence and so in that sense it was worth talking about. so yeah, i get what you are saying: their relationship shouldn't have just been another source of gossip. i still don't like the onion article though.

Treeship, Wednesday, 8 May 2013 00:53 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

Niche Online Message Board Takes Issue With The Onion
The Internet

surm, Wednesday, 8 May 2013 01:06 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

i don't quite get why ppl would be pissed about the chris brown story? i guess its one of those 'dark humor trivializes bad things' sort of reactions? sigh

stefon taylor swiftboat (s.clover), Wednesday, 8 May 2013 01:58 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

I LOL'd at this

http://www.theonion.com/articles/snooze-button-time-traveler-sets-coordinates-for-5,32339/

― Emperor Cos Dashit (Adam Bruneau), Tuesday, May 7, 2013 9:11 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

yeah liked that one, but again an example of the whole joke being in the headline, no further text needed

huun huurt 2 (Hurting 2), Wednesday, 8 May 2013 02:02 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

Nah I enjoyed the breakdown of the space-age time travel gear and traveler set against a mundane slacker groaning at what feels to him like instant time jumps. I enjoyed the body but yeah it would have worked as headline only too.

Evan, Wednesday, 8 May 2013 03:04 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

lol hurting's point reminds of this mad magazine parody of the onion roughly 12 years ago, odds are the last time mad magazine will make me laff -

balls, Wednesday, 8 May 2013 05:47 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

that reminds me, anyone know the story behind the turnover going on at av club?

balls, Wednesday, 8 May 2013 05:49 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

i think a bunch of them are leaving together to start a new site, or something.

turds (Hungry4Ass), Wednesday, 8 May 2013 06:00 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

interesting, i knew the longtime av club editor either quit or was fired (it felt like fired) months ago and then hyden split for grantland then i noticed scott tobias left (that guy along w/ noah murray and donna bowman had a weirdly large influence on my film taste and education when i was in high school and they were in college), then rabin who fbow is their defining voice or whatever and i thought 'ok something is definitely going on'. wondered if it was just high visibility and new eic prompting mass consideration of other pastures or if there was something more organized going on.

balls, Wednesday, 8 May 2013 06:11 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

the chris brown thing belongs in the daily mash

caek, Wednesday, 8 May 2013 07:39 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

A friend in the know tells me that Phipps was let go and that the others then jumped ship to join him, in solidarity, on a new site he's starting.

jaymc, Wednesday, 8 May 2013 12:53 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

I like that mad parody. It reminds me of my college weekly paper days, when we (the pretentious/artsy weekly) did a parody issue of the daily, and then the other weekly (sort of a ziney/gross-out thing) did a great parody of us, nailing in particular our jargon-laden reviews of obscure indie music.

huun huurt 2 (Hurting 2), Wednesday, 8 May 2013 15:34 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

That was like the only thing the Medium did that was funny

los blue jeans, Friday, 10 May 2013 19:37 (1 week ago) Permalink

Think I'll put this in the American Politics thread as well.

http://www.theonion.com/articles/our-thoughts-go-out-to-oklahoma-says-congressman-m,32514/

nickn, Tuesday, 21 May 2013 20:44 (2 days ago) Permalink

lol @ punchline xp

Roberto Spiralli, Tuesday, 21 May 2013 21:07 (2 days ago) Permalink

http://www.theonion.com/articles/man-derives-depressing-amount-of-pride-from-hometo,32510/

Man Derives Depressing Amount Of Pride From Hometown Burger Chain

it's funny because it's true.

koogs, Wednesday, 22 May 2013 08:25 (Yesterday) Permalink

http://www.theonion.com/articles/woman-who-cracked-3-separate-iphone-screens-expect,32538/

PHILADELPHIA—Samantha Curtis, a 29-year-old sales clerk who has reportedly cracked three separate iPhone screens over the years, is due to give birth to a baby boy this coming August, sources confirmed.

The expectant mother, who has accidentally damaged a trio of smartphone displays by either dropping her iPhone, allowing it to collide with other items in her purse, or losing control of it when absentmindedly spinning it on a tabletop, said she is “thrilled” to bring her new child into the world.

Ⓓⓡ. (Johnny Fever), Wednesday, 22 May 2013 17:35 (Yesterday) Permalink

lmao

caek, Wednesday, 22 May 2013 18:54 (Yesterday) Permalink

I read quite a bit (maybe all) of Infinite Jest believing Whataburger was a made-up restaurant.

0808ɹƃ (silby), Thursday, 23 May 2013 05:27 (14 hours ago) Permalink


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