'it's 'me time' back home'
― socks & pwns may break my bwns (darraghmac), Wednesday, 4 May 2011 14:56 (2 years ago) Permalink
my narcissistic rambling comment isn't, obv, directed at everybody who does talk therapy, and especialy not at introspective types or people considering therapy who haven't been before. there is a definite 'type' of professional therapy-seekers, though, who pay somebody to indulge their blah-blahing, and use the time to entrench themselves more deeply in their (often wacky) opinions. there are a TON TON TON of bad therapists who really value and believe in letting people wallow in their own shitty mire as part of a therapeutic practice, when learning to move past / effectively deal with bad situations is a much loftier, and harder, goal.
― ignore the man behind the parentheses (remy bean), Wednesday, 4 May 2011 15:09 (2 years ago) Permalink
yeah no definitely...and like i think it can be hard in a way for anyone not to have a little voice that tells them it is just narcissism. but i suppose at a point you think "would i benefit from this", "do i have goals from this" and "will i be happier after", i sort of think there is potential at least for the answer to be yes to all of these. i don't actually talk to anyone about how i feel about anything, hardly ever really...
― Will.Have.Known (Local Garda), Wednesday, 4 May 2011 15:16 (2 years ago) Permalink
and of course i know you're making a general point btw...rather than anything specific to this thread
sorry guys, CBT means something very different in my "community"
― resistance does not require a firearm (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 4 May 2011 15:18 (2 years ago) Permalink
― ban drake (the rapper) (max), Wednesday, 4 May 2011 15:18 (2 years ago) Permalink
dr morbius' cbt would probably not be very helpful to ronan
it could be really good – i benefitted from visiting a talk therapist at one point, and when i came to the realization that i no longer needed to see him it was a goood 'oh, i'm okay with this situation and my psychic baggage moment'
― ignore the man behind the parentheses (remy bean), Wednesday, 4 May 2011 15:18 (2 years ago) Permalink
This isn't to discourage Ronan from going but I really identify with what Remy is saying. It's so frustrating!
I haven't gone in a couple years because I got so tired of only encountering the types of therapists R is describing. It really sucks because I'd really love to find something who I work well with that could help me learn to "to move past / effectively deal with bad situations" because essentially that's what I can't figure out on my own. The whole process of finding someone new and going to enough sessions to get a feel for them is kind of a pain in the ass not to mention time consuming and costly. The thought of going through that whole process again is really daunting even though I know it would be worth it if I finally found someone good for me.
BTW when I said I've tried 4-5 that's over 10 years. I'll go through the process and get discouraged and it always takes me a while to get around to it again. I just didn't want it to seem like I was tearing through these peeps without giving them a real shot or that I was just being difficult and writing off one after another.
― \(^o\) (/o^)/ (ENBB), Wednesday, 4 May 2011 15:20 (2 years ago) Permalink
I was all, "what could that possibly... OH DO NOT WANT"
― Dreaded Burrito Gang (DJP), Wednesday, 4 May 2011 15:21 (2 years ago) Permalink
I can't figure it out.
I think I've got the C and B parts down but not sure about the T. :(
― \(^o\) (/o^)/ (ENBB), Wednesday, 4 May 2011 15:22 (2 years ago) Permalink
cucumber bacon tomato is all i got
― ignore the man behind the parentheses (remy bean), Wednesday, 4 May 2011 15:23 (2 years ago) Permalink
― ban drake (the rapper) (max), Wednesday, 4 May 2011 15:23 (2 years ago) Permalink
cock balls taint
― ignore the man behind the parentheses (remy bean), Wednesday, 4 May 2011 15:24 (2 years ago) Permalink
― Dreaded Burrito Gang (DJP), Wednesday, 4 May 2011 15:25 (2 years ago) Permalink
x-post lol that was my closest guess.
― \(^o\) (/o^)/ (ENBB), Wednesday, 4 May 2011 15:25 (2 years ago) Permalink
― \(^o\) (/o^)/ (ENBB), Wednesday, 4 May 2011 15:26 (2 years ago) Permalink
b = between?
― the great HOOS made me lose my mind (rip van wanko), Wednesday, 4 May 2011 15:30 (2 years ago) Permalink
I know I told some wacky stories upthread but I had a lot of good therapists & the experience was very helpful, overall.
― offee is for losers only, do you not c? (Abbbottt), Wednesday, 4 May 2011 16:36 (2 years ago) Permalink
fwiw at least in me its not too hard to find someone who will mix talk therapy w/ cbt techniques
i think the two biggest determining factors in the success of treatment are the patients willings to 'put the work in' & their compatibility w/ their therapist. i know this seems to be p obv but it is easy to get focused on a specific methods of treatment or ideas abt 'whats wrong with me' & ignore the fundamental relationship @ the core of therapy
― -( ☃)*( ☃)- (Lamp), Wednesday, 4 May 2011 17:15 (2 years ago) Permalink
good thing i didnt start this thread, jesus
― geeks, dweebs, nerds & lames (D-40), Wednesday, 4 May 2011 17:15 (2 years ago) Permalink
My job offered therapy services as a benefit, but only if you went to the provider they contracted with. My wife and I attempted to use this service, but the therapist we were assigned was about as competant as someone who'd read a bunch of self-help best sellers. iow she was well-meaning, tenetive, able to regurgitate a few aphorisms and mostly worse than useless.
My wife set out to find a better therapist, asking around for leads relentlessly, calling ahead to speak to the prospective therapist to ask questions. After a few months of tracking down leads, she located an excellent therapist who was extremely helpful, smart, who always asked good questions, and who developed an understanding of the situation fairly rapidly. Once we established a trustful relationship, we used her many times over a period of about a decade, and we passed her name on to many friends.
― Aimless, Wednesday, 4 May 2011 17:57 (2 years ago) Permalink
― ban drake (the rapper) (max), Wednesday, 4 May 2011 18:00 (2 years ago) Permalink
the clinic I was going to wanted me to have an annual appointment with their psychiatrist. The psychiatrist was a middle-aged dude and he was listening to Michael Savage in his office during our meeting, which I thought was maybe not appropriate. Anyway, I said, "My dad listens to Michael Savage," prompting him to ask if my dad knew X trivia item about Michael Savage. I had no idea. He said, "Call your dad." I said, "It's long distance, are you sure?" He said, yes, so we put my dad on speakerphone. He grilled my dad about minor points of Michael Savage trivia, and my dad knew none of them. "Looks like you don't really appreciate Michael Savage," the psychiatrist said to my dad before we ended the call.
― breaking that little dog's heart chakra (Abbott)
after reading this just seconds after the goiter post on the salt/food thread it's clear that abbott, you are the #1 ilx poster for making me explode laughing at the maddest shit
― NI, Friday, 3 June 2011 01:58 (1 year ago) Permalink
also yeah, what was the FIRST least professional therapy experience you ever had? or was that just a thing
― NI, Friday, 3 June 2011 02:04 (1 year ago) Permalink
The first worst therapy experience I had was at the same community clinic – I started out seeing one therapist who was terrible, who I am going to call Bessie. 1. I was spending 1/3rd of my time talking breaking down what I was saying to her into simpler concepts (snobby complaint maybe but it was draining). 2. She decided I was an alcoholic/drug addict and just wasn't telling her (I hadn't drank in 4 mos at this point!!) and she spent a lot of time trying to get it out of me. 3. Bessie decided she wanted to spend all of the time talking about this made-up problem & not the actual problems I came to see her about. I spent three sessions w/her and it was painfully not working*, so I asked to see another therapist. I left Bessie a message saying I did this.
The second therapist I liked a lot. During our first session, Bessie opened the door, unannounced, and demanded I explain to her why I chose to quit seeing her as a therapist. So, I told her. But it was really fucking awkward and weird! And I would rank this more unprofessional than the Savage phone call, which is at least funny.
*tough I got some dried figs out of it (not explaining how this happened (the figs were later eaten by a cascade of ants))
― free inappropriate education (Abbbottt), Friday, 3 June 2011 02:43 (1 year ago) Permalink
oh my god that savage story
― markers, Friday, 3 June 2011 02:45 (1 year ago) Permalink
"Looks like you don't really appreciate Michael Savage,"
crazy in the coconut
― orchestral pygnoeuvres in zee park (contenderizer), Friday, 3 June 2011 03:24 (1 year ago) Permalink
Abbott yr story reminds me of that bit in the Bell Jar where Esther has the arrogant useless shrink who asks her where she went to college and rambles on about how the WACS were stationed there and how pretty they were and then says "well we're done now".
― The man who mistook his life for a FAP (Trayce), Friday, 3 June 2011 07:00 (1 year ago) Permalink
got my first day today...
― Suggest Banter (Local Garda), Friday, 3 June 2011 07:40 (1 year ago) Permalink
cbt was so much more helpful to me than any other therapy i've tried. we used chapters from this book; i keep staring at it in bookstores and forgetting to remind myself to order it cheap from amazon:
― are you are missing whiney (get bent), Friday, 3 June 2011 08:40 (1 year ago) Permalink
― are you are missing whiney (get bent), Friday, 3 June 2011 08:42 (1 year ago) Permalink
xxpost, all the best with it ronan
― NI, Friday, 3 June 2011 10:47 (1 year ago) Permalink
ta for the book link jbr, I might look into that myself.
― The man who mistook his life for a FAP (Trayce), Friday, 3 June 2011 11:02 (1 year ago) Permalink
it was pretty good today, he mostly let me speak, felt like i was jumping from topic to topic but i guess he needs the groundwork. only drawback is i just got six weeks work which starts on 13th and if i change timeslot i have to change counsellor, in the system i'm in, so not sure whether to try and negotiate to have friday afternoons off (and lose half a day's pay) or to just change counselling time straight away and avoid upheaval after it's gotten into more depth...
― Suggest Banter (Local Garda), Friday, 3 June 2011 15:43 (1 year ago) Permalink
funny I just recorded a song this morning called "everyone needs therapy"- hivemind?
― Latham Green, Friday, 3 June 2011 15:45 (1 year ago) Permalink
by the way - I used this and it worked for me
― Latham Green, Friday, 3 June 2011 15:46 (1 year ago) Permalink
The Anxiety and Phobia workbook is really good.
― \(^o\) (/o^)/ (ENBB), Friday, 3 June 2011 15:47 (1 year ago) Permalink
I ordered this:
Pretty sure that I have a problem with people pleasing :/
― hungry man, I don't want pizza (jel --), Friday, 3 June 2011 19:16 (1 year ago) Permalink
ah yes - the "approval addiction"
― Latham Green, Friday, 3 June 2011 19:18 (1 year ago) Permalink
kinda mixed results so far...i guess overall positive. counsellor mostly just lets me yammer on but i asked him to try and provide advice, not really like specific to situations but at least to act as some kind of barometer. he does say some weird sorta hard to grasp stuff, eg i talked about indecision for ages on friday and he said "i want you to hold onto that feeling of not knowing what to do in this sort of situation" and sort of didn't elaborate or stressed the "hold on to it" element. v hard to know what he meant there but i feel largely positive about him so i sort of gave benefit of the doubt.
― MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T BE LIVING HERE!! (Local Garda), Sunday, 12 June 2011 21:57 (1 year ago) Permalink
i want you to hold on to the benefit of that doubt
Was sent for a 'wee chat' with my mum's pyschologist once, i talked about how i couldnt get a girlfriend, i was hopin for some mindtricks or something, but nada. She musta told them i was normal cos i didnt have to go again, i got some girlfriends after that but it was unrelated imo
― ♪♫ hey there lamp post, feelin' whiney ♪♫ (darraghmac), Sunday, 12 June 2011 23:42 (1 year ago) Permalink
i was talking w/a psychologist once who began quoting something from a poem by Jewel, which led me to think that maybe i was not getting my money's worth
― dell (del), Sunday, 12 June 2011 23:47 (1 year ago) Permalink
finally found a way to do this outside of work hours affordably. v strange experience, it really is like on tv. genuinely a few "let's talk about your mother" or whatever.
overall it's good i guess, slightly scary experience in that i have found myself get very upset really suddenly few times, which was like a type of emotional catharsis i've never experienced before, but i guess that's why i'm going.
― I'm going to allow this! (LocalGarda), Monday, 13 February 2012 23:12 (1 year ago) Permalink
glad for you- hadn't you tried it before?
― beware of greeks bearing petrol bombs (darraghmac), Monday, 13 February 2012 23:16 (1 year ago) Permalink
heh like five posts ago
yeah i had to stop cos i got a job and that slot was in the daytime. took until now to get a post-work time... i thought the guy was shit the first two weeks cos he literally said nothing, but now he is started dropping these questions that make you realise or see connections between things, without any heavy handedness about it.
― I'm going to allow this! (LocalGarda), Monday, 13 February 2012 23:21 (1 year ago) Permalink
i would heartily resent that, i think
― beware of greeks bearing petrol bombs (darraghmac), Monday, 13 February 2012 23:22 (1 year ago) Permalink
i found the silence worse, made me think he was all "why the fuck is this guy even here?"
though as i said, it is a bit scary thinking you're okay then seeing sort of unhappiness come out in an uncontrolled way, it's like puking, it does make you think "oh shit" in that way as if you'd noticed some medical prob you never knew you had via a weird physical reaction.
― I'm going to allow this! (LocalGarda), Monday, 13 February 2012 23:24 (1 year ago) Permalink